[an:/] The previous chapter actually reached 20 votes omg thank you!!! Also, i answer to everyone who comments the chapters, so thank you , i love doing that.
So here is the chapter and tbh i didn't expect it to end up like this but i think it's okay.
Don't wanna give any spoiler but next chapter will be special so can you all give me again 20 VOTES AND 10 COMMENTS ? Thank you pls give me your opinion I love reading that :) <3
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Today is already Thursday and for the first time I’m actually feeling all right. I’m not really stressed, not feeling like I’m reaching my limit and my head doesn’t feel like is going to explode. I got better on Monday so I’ve got to say that Harry did a good job taking care of me. I just feel a little guilty for making him lose one day of classes and Monday’s morning, but he said it was fine and it’s not really hard to believe though. But from now on I think I’m going to take his advices and trying to rest.
Even if I’m not too stressed with classes, the I don’t have time to literally nothing came back. I didn’t even talk to Liam yet, at least I didn’t find the right moment to – and with all of this, since Monday that I just see Harry at night when we’re about to go to bed. He seems busy with the photography club since Friday is Halloween and they’re basically preparing all of the things for it. I think he didn’t know that he had to collaborate this much…
Things are not weird and I’m so thankful for it. I don’t say he forgot about what he confessed – even if I wanted him to – but since that night that I told him he could sleep with me he didn’t do neither said anything weird and nothing that I could say, yeah he loves me – besides taking care of me but I made my point. He still pisses me off but nothing special, these three days didn’t allow him to though.
I decided to go to the practise today, so that means that I’m going to see Bryan since the day Harry shut the door in his face. I’m grateful it’s not raining today because I don’t really want to catch a cold again because of running outside in the cold and by being all wet.
Bryan gives me a smile and a hello before the practise starts and we start warming up. He knows we can’t really have a proper chat during this so I think he’s waiting for later.
I wait patiently to the end of the practise because to be honest I don’t really feel like it today, I think I’m still a bit lazy but as soon as it ends and we head to the locker rooms to change, I notice that Bryan chose, today, to stay next to me.
“Wait for me when you finish dressing?” He asks, in a soft tone and I nod, giving him a smile. I don’t know if I feel like talking to him. Well I want to, I actually missed him these last days and the last time we saw each other and talked, properly was in our date and he told me he liked me so…
It’s a bit awkward to change next to him and I’m so thankful we don’t have to be naked in front of each other after the bath because that would be so embarrassing, especially for me since I’m so shy when it comes to that subject. But I’m not gonna lie and say that I never thought about Bryan naked, because I already had a good view of his ass last year and I think that just made me a bit… too excited. Anyway.
We dress in silence and when I’m all done, Bryan is already packing his stuff “Done.” He puts his bag over his shoulder “So, d-do you wanna take a coffee or something?”
“Hum, it’s late for a coffee,” why am I so nervous and feeling like this is not right. Dammit Harry it’s your fault. “but, erm, I guess we can go to that coffee shop at the end of the road to drink tea.” Tea?! I’m so stupid, I don’t even like tea.
“Sure.” He laughs a little as it’s expected.
We leave the gym and walk outside the campus, in silence. It’s not a comfortable one, I actually wanted him to talk or doing what Harry does when we’re in silence, he keeps making sounds or saying stupid things to himself but making sure I hear and laugh at it – but yeah, Bryan is not Harry. Bryan is so different from Harry, so it’s kinda impossible for me to change my type. Why am I even taking this option?! Jeez.
We find a table and the place is quiet and mostly empty since is half past night. We order and it’s when Bryan gives me the look.
“So…” He starts and I feel my chest aching. Please don’t talk about Harry, please don’t talk about Harry, please… “Did Harry-“
Holy crap “Bryan…” I sigh with annoyance. The last thing I want to talk about is how terrible Harry is and how concerned Bryan was with me.
“I just…” He sighs too, but it’s different from mine “I heard him screaming and he looked so mad that day… He can be so… so-“
“Stop, please Bryan. Harry…” why I feel weird saying his name? “Harry is a good guy and don’t try making me believe that he is violent or the complete opposite from what he is around me.” I try to keep calm. There’s no need to be mad but somehow I’m tired of listening to the two of them talking crap about each another. I just can’t understand who is saying the truth because right now I see myself defending the two of them and not believing in anyone’s word.
He looks kind of shock and I think I understand it “The way you’re defending him is almost like you two are in something...” is he kidding?
“What?” I like him how can he say something like that, how can he not see it?
Maybe the same way I didn’t realise that Harry loved me… if that.
“It’s just… You’re always with him,” no jealousy please “and he was with you when you were ill. I don’t know it’s just… I start to think that you-“
“Bryan” I interrupt him “I don’t – We aren’t okay?” I try to make eye contact with him but he drops it. I look at his hand which is rested above the table and decide to put mine above, as he did it with me once – or was it twice? He looks at me right when I feel the warmth from his skin “I-I like you…” I say and I think my heart is going to jump out of the place and I not only because I said those words, it’s also because something else I just don’t know it “Not him… you.” I smile and his faces lights up. He turns his hand so now he’s holding mine and interlacing our fingers – it’s different from when Harry does it but I like it.
“Really?” He asks and he looks like a child
“Yeah really, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t feel it…” I feel my cheeks burning, I’m sure I’m blushing. “And for a while now.” I laugh a little to hide the nervous.
“Me too” he simply says and I think that I understand.
“So I’m really excited for Friday.” I smile bright, showing him that I’m really into it and changing subject.
“Me too. I have planned the costume and all” Shit I forgot about it. I really need to ask for Liam or Zayn’s help
“So how are you going?”
“Surprise” He winks and even if we drop our hands, our legs are interlaced under the table.
He teases me a little bit and then our order arrives so he starts talking about something that happened to him at the lab today and the way his lips move when he talks makes me feel the urge to stand up from the chair and kiss him. It’s all right, right? We like each other. Jeez, we like each other…
“So what did you-“ He stops talking when my phone rings. It’s a message
“Sorry.” I say while taking my phone from the pocket
Where are you Lou?
-Harry
Fuck. Even with a simple message I can say that he’s worried. I look at the time and it’s almost half past ten, I can’t believe we stayed here for so long.
What am I going to answer? I’m with Bryan lmao. That would be awful for him and I can’t make him that. But I can’t lie to him also… Ugh I hate him for making me this.
“Erm, is it Harry?” he asks and I look up at him
“Yeah…” I bite my lip. I feel like I need to tell him I need to leave but at the same time I want to stay with him because I’m enjoying myself so much. So I just write:
Sorry, I’m there in 15!
-Louis
I put my phone back on my pocket and turn my attention to him
“Does he-“ he starts but I don’t allow him to continue
“Don’t… We always end up talking about him and I seriously hate it” I laugh a little “So I wanna talk about us” I wink and he understands my trick and for the first time I make him blush.
~*~
It’s already eleven when I reach the dorm. I forgot the hours but it felt like only 15 minutes had passed while I was with Bryan. We did nothing special just stayed there talking, really, but I truly liked that time. We held hands while we were walking to the campus and to be fair I was waiting for him to kiss me but that didn’t happen… well I think he doesn’t want to rush this and that’s fine if I’m with him like this. I just hope Harry doesn’t ruin it. It’s hard. Harry loves me and Bryan likes me. I think it’s a whole different thing and it scares me what Harry can end up doing… and what I can end up doing.
I try my best to be quiet since Harry, for my surprise, is already sleeping on his bed. Even sleeping he makes noises and doesn’t stop moving. I quickly change into my pyjama and “Louis.” I hear Harry and quickly turn my attention to him
“What?” I ask but it’s when I see that he’s still sleeping. Is he dreaming about me? Well is nothing kinky, at least, he doesn’t stop turning around in his sheets.
“Louis…” He calls me again but this time is like a sigh but his tone is desperate.
He’s scaring me so I walk towards him and put in knees in front of his bed. Gently I rest my hand above his shoulder “Harry!” I try my best to be soft but at the same time speak loudly, shaking him a little. He quickly opens his eyes and sits up in a blink of an eye.
“Louis?” he looks at me, almost confused and, with the back of his hand, cleans his forehead which was with possible sweat.
“Are you okay?”
He looks at the clock he has above his nightstand and then at me again “You took so long…” his voice is so sad and fragile, I ask myself what he’s thinking right now, if he is thinking in something… by the way he looks, pale and breathing heavily I don’t know if he can be thinking about anything besides what is happening.
I try not to look at him “Lost track of time.” By the way he looks at me, I don’t really need to say anything else… I don’t want to neither.
“Louis…” his bottom lip is shaking and his eyes are stuck with mines “Do you-do you hate me, Louis?” Why is he saying my name so many times? It’s so hard for me to hear him calling me in this tone of voice.
“What? Ha-Harry…” why is he bringing this up now
“Do you?”
“N-No, I don’t… but why this?” I ask, really confused. I kinda hate him, yes but I keep saying that, that’s not something I should say
“I-I had a nightmare… Sorry.” He looks down at his lap and starts playing with his fingers. Why is he nervous?
Without thinking I put my hands above his, stopping him doing it “Hey, it’s okay…” he looks at the gesture and I squeeze his hands “I’m here now, it’s fine Hazz…” I try to use the nickname that he adores hearing from me so due that I don’t use it at all. But I think it’s needed right now and he sure looks more pleased.
“But it was awful Lou…” His voice cracks and for as much as I wanted to know the story I sure don’t want to make him telling me. He looks so down…
With my other hand I make him look at me and I notice how red and warm his cheek is “It was just nightmare, I-I stay with you for the night okay?” Why am I even doing this? Isn’t it just wrong but crazy… But he did a lot for me and I think this is the least. He nods quietly and I make my best to offer him a smile which he responds with a smaller one. I stand up and when he goes to the other side of the bed I get under the sheets. This part is really warm and his pillow is all covered in sweat which he changes them so he can be with that one and I use the other one he uses to have on the other side. He lays down and doesn’t even make an effort to our elbows being touching – and that’s so not him - he’s squeezed against to the wall. He still seems so down and it makes me feel a hole on my chest… I learnt that I seriously hate seeing Harry upset.
“Harry…” I get closer to him “Please, don’t be like this” I whisper and it’s when I’m with my head rested on his shoulder. I notice that he makes his best to look at me and I think that’s a start. I start to play with his fingers, brushing them, since he has his hand next to his body and I can easily reach it with mine. “Can you smile for me?” I’m such an idiot.
I feel his hand on my cheek, making me look at him. His lips are so close to mines and I begin to feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to feel this again around him but if he does something, I sure am going to be pissed.
But then he just kisses my cheek – and what the fuck – and when pulls back gives me a warm and sweet smile. Much better. Or not because now I got to know that his lips are soft and kinda wet. Ugh. “Thanks.” I did nothing but I decide not to say a word and for my own sake pull away from his shoulder. But he pushes me back, not allowing me to. Help. “Please, stay close.” He whispers and his eyes are shut again. I gulp and there is no way back. I can’t get out of the warmth of the sheets – or is it his body? – and the comfort, by how sleepy I notice that I am.
~*~
Next morning Harry is literally crushing me against the mattress, I can’t even breathe and I’m sweating. “Harry.” My voice is muffled by the sheets and his body, but he probably hears it and feels the vibration from my body because he moves – but not to the other side of the bed, he keeps laid down on my back – and groans a little. “I know you’re awake so get off of me.” I try to yell but my voice still sounds far away.
“Comfy…” I think I’ll never get over his morning voice.
He wraps his arms around my body and that’s when I can’t feel any fresh air and the world seems to be just this little space “Harry Styles, you fat piece of shit, I can’t breathe.” I try my best to sound louder than the other times.
He starts laughing and moves a little so I can finally breathe properly, but he keeps holding me and I feel his hot breathe on the back of my neck “So grumpy already in the morning” He teases.
“Waking up with you killing me is not the best way to start the day.” I say trying to release myself but he doesn’t allow me to.
“Oh Lou… you’re too stressed,” his voice sounds different and I can’t really read what it means… or, well , I do know it but just don’t really want to see it clear. Probably the second one. I feel his hands under my shirt I froze because I don’t really know how to react. Doesn’t he learn? “how about we stay here all day?” his voice is slow and soft but at the same time I know he’s teasing but I don’t dare to say that it sounds sexy. I feel his lips on my neck and he moves to be in a more comfortable position so he’s now between my right leg, but when that happens I feel something hard. Is…is… Is that his dick? HOLY SHIT.
“Ha-Ha-Harry…” I feel something weird, something that is not right. I don’t want this… Yesterday I decided to stay here just because he looked really down and it was the least. He cares for me so I need to try a little harder to care too; but this morning he looks better… not only better but he’s acting like he was three weeks ago so I can’t allow him doing what he did, again. And not getting a boner, counts.
Apparently he’s with one but it sure won’t be me taking care of it. God no way. Besides if Bryan knew how Harry and I are right now he would be mad, and I wouldn’t blame him. This is not right. This is not fucking right. “Get off, get off, get off.” I shout and make my best to push him away from me.
He starts laughing again and he shouldn’t be, it pisses me. “Are you going to leave me like this?” He smirks and asks already sat on his side while I am too but at the edge of the bed. I look widely at his lower part, he has a huge bulge. His face is priceless when he looks at me and I sure look like I’m going to have a heart attack. He’s huge, shit, no, Louis stop thinking about it or… dammit I just twisted “I sure don’t want to leave you like that.” He crawls closer to me and looks down and then again at my face. I probably look red, this is embarrassing and it makes me hate him even more.
“Ye-yeah, I me-mean n-no… I-“ I can’t even talk properly, what am I saying? Thankfully his laughter makes me stop
“I’m just kidding Louis! Sorry about all of this.” He winks and gets up from the bed leaving me unmoved in it. “It’s almost eight, won’t you be late?” his voice makes me stand up quickly from the bed and grabbing my stuff
“See ya later.” I say quickly and run out of the room to the bathroom, closing the door maybe too strongly, but that was unintentional.