Chapter 25: Erased
Muli kong tinungga ang laman ng bote ng beer na nasa gilid ko. Kanina pa ako umiinom dahil pakiramdam ko ay sobrang tagal bago matapos ang karera kung saan kasali si Lowie. I need this thing that will help me to have the courage to talk to him. Even if I will use intimidation to talk to him, I will. Pero matatakot ba sa akin si Lowie?
The last time, kasama niya ang mga bad breath niyang minions kaya matapang siya. Or maybe he really is. After reading all the contents of that notebook, I am determined to talk to him. Muli akong uminom at kinuha ang notebook ni Phobie mula sa maliit na dala kong bag at sinimulang basahin iyon.
If you're reading this right now, dalawang bagay lang iyan. You break through the clues that I left behind or you just happened to step on the rug. This isn't like the notebook of Ryuk who can kill whoever's name is written here. This is called a death note because my life is at risk as I am writing this. Yes, the more I write in this notebook, the more I risk my life.
Probably by now, I am a cold corpse thrown out somewhere by those bad guys. Well I'm not writing this to tell you the story of my life. Let's go straight to the point.
It was December 11 of last year when I first saw them. Doctors. I thought they're doctors because they're wearing lab gowns but then I realized that they're scientists and they're part of a group they always call 'organization.'
They're making some drugs. At first I thought that they're smuggling diamonds but when I had the chance to get a fistful of those blue diamonds, I figured out that they're drugs. Those blue packs are drugs.
They are drugs that enhances the cognitive aspect of individuals. I know how it works because I can hear every conversation clearly at the secret laboratory behind the hideout of a freak like me. The drug's aim is easy. To control the cognitive aspect of individuals making him so smart to the point that he can hear voices from a telephone conversation; can see signals and waves travelling. In other words, the drug that they are designing is to make people monsters. As of now, the drug isn't perfect yet. The only thing that it can do is to allow people read ahead others' possible actions. Ginagawang sobrang talino ng drugs na iyon ang isang tao. I know it because I have
tried it myself. I sniffed the drugs that I got and it was so good. I should say that it felt like I'm God myself. Pakiramdam ko ay ako si Lucy and I know all things. Hell, those drugs are really incredible but the adverse effects are really dangerous. They destroy human cells and prevent our body from creating anti-bodies. The year ended and I forgot about Athena and those drugs until the next school year entered. They're back again and this time, the drugs had levelled up. It's still the same blue smart drugs only that it became more wicked. The organization's aim now is to use the drugs against some mafia groups. They want to use the drugs to some people who can apprehend the mafia's works with the help of the drugs even if the adverse effect is death. What's more is the drug melts all the cells in the body and nothing will be left, not even a trace.
That was the last entry that I read in her notebook noong nasa Athena ako. I felt my body stiffened upon rereading the notebook. She said she's probably a cold corpse pero hindi kami nawalan ng pag-asa at hinanap namin siya dati. That was a bloody reunion. Sinong mag-aakalang magkikita kaming lahat sa iisang lugar? And we did everything to help her.
I continue reading the next pages kung saan may ilang pahina na pinunit.
You may have hated me right now and you are probably thinking na niloko kita. Honestly, I felt so guilty kaya wala na akong mukha na maihaharap sayo so I'm giving you this notebook back. Right now, I already left the country at nasa malayong lugar na ako. Far from everyone, especially the Genesis and I have no plans of returning. If you think na niloko kita dati, Yes but only partly. I partly lied and partly told you the truth. Truth that I was help as captive. Not as human sample or carrier but as a hostage. You wouldn't believe it but I was born in a family connected to this organization. Dad's a scientist and one of the minds who created STX. Binawi ko ang notebook na ito mula kay Zywon dahil natatakot ako. Natatakot akong mapahamak si Dad and then I let myself be a hostage and left the notebook. Pero nalaman nila iyon so all I have to take it back from you. Ngunit hindi ko inaakalang matutunton niyo kami and you tried all your best to help. That's when I told myself that I have a newly found friend. But I never thought they would strap me a bomb kahit na nakiusap si Daddy na wag gawin iyon. To make the long story short, I exploded with the bomb but I survive because it miraculously unstrapped. I recovered and live a normal life sa probinsya where Dad kept me. He continued working for them kahit labag iyon sa kalooban niya. Hanggang sa isang araw, umuwi si Daddy sa probinsya na may kasamang lalaki. He said it was his friend and I call him Tito Van. Naging magkaibigan kami so I open up the story of my scar with him. I told him about you and how brave you are when you tried to save me. And guess what, he said that you really are brave dahil anak ka niya.
I stopped reading at pinunasan ko ang luhang dumaloy sa mata ko. Dad must be very proud of me as his daughter. Hindi ako ang tipo ng anak na nangunguna sa klase. I excel at school pero hindi ako ang top 1. Usually ay nasa rank 8 or higher ako but Dad was very proud of me na para bang ako ang pinaka-excellent na mag-aaral sa mundo.
"Enjoy the night Hebe", Zywon said nang mapansing nagbabasa lang ako doon. Tutok ang lahat sa daan kaya walang nakakapansin sa akin. He tried pulling the notebook from me ngunit agad kong iniiwas iyon.
"Pabayaan mo ako. I have to read or I will get crazy dahil sa ingay ninyo", I said and scowled at him. Tiningnan niya ako ng matagal bago bumuntong-hininga.
"Fine. Keep that notebook after the race. I'm sure you wouldn't want Cobalt to see that thing." I nodded at him at pinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa.
When I realized that we have the same fate, I was eager to talk to you since then pero hindi ako pinapaalis ni Daddy sa lugar na iyon. He said that to keep my safety, I should stay there no matter what. Maraming beses na bumisita si Tito Van sa akin at ikaw palagi ang pinag-uusapan namin. You have no idea about all the good things that Tito Van told me about you. Hanggang sa isang araw ay naging kumplikado ang lahat. He said they were discovered. Their secrets were revealed and any moment by now, Brain will exile them. So before it happened, he asked me to see you kapag wala na siya. He said that you have to see his lawyer and talk to him. He left you so many things at isa na doon ang isang bagay na magpapabagsak sa Genesis. Dahil nasa experimental stage pa lamang ang STX2, all their data are kept in their private site. Lahat-lahat ay naroon at ang tanging bagay na maaring magpabagsak sa kanila ay ang iniwan niyang software program. It was a program designed by Trojan. I don't know how it works pero ayon kay Tito Van, data from the Genesis's site was synced there. If you run that algorithm, it will self-destruct with all the synced data. It will surely cripple the organization -
Napatigil ako sa pagbabasa nang isinara ni Zywon ang notebook na hawak-hawak ko. I was about to protest ngunit napansin kong mas lalo pang umingay ang paligid. The race has ended and Lowie aka Cobalt won.
"Keep that in your bag. Lalapit tayo kay Cobalt", wika niya at agad na tumayo. I followed his instructions at agad ding tumayo. People were shouting at panay ang pagtatapon ng mga tao ng beer sa hangin. I felt my face became wet at amoy beer iyon. Yuck.
I saw Lowie walked on the side kung nasaan ang ilang mga lalaki at masayang nakikipag-usap ito. Zywon held my hand at nilakad namin ang direksyon kung nasaan sina Lowie. We passed through so many people ngunit bago kami makarating kina Lowie ay huminto ako at hinawakan ang dulo ng kanyang damit. Nagtatakang napatingin siya sa kamay ko bago ako tiningnan sa mukha.
"Bakit?"
"Hindi ba delikado? You are working with them pero tinutulungan mo ako. You might put yourself in danger", wika ko sa kanya. Sa pagkakataong ito ay ayaw ko siyang madamay. Khael suffered a lot and I don't want Zywon to experience it too.
"Gaya ng sabi ko dati, low rank agents like Cyanide ay hindi nila kilala so I'm safe."
"But you are also Trojan!"
"And Trojan is working in anonymity", he said with a smile. "Kaya hindi nila alam na hindi ako ang dating Trojan na nagtatrabaho sa kanila."
Kahit sinabi na niya iyon ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasang mag-alala. "Pero..."
"I will be fine Just Amber. Now pull yourself, for now you are Hebe. I know you as Hebe. Make him believe that. Kilala niya lamang ako bilang Z so you don't have to worry." His words are reassuring and I have to admit that it somehow relieve me.
Hinawakan niya ulit ang kamay ko and lead me towards Lowie. I saw the latter's face stiffened at agad na nagdilim ang mata nang makita ako. He wasn't surprised to see me alive but I know he was surprised to see me with Zywon.
"Congratulations Cobalt", masiglang bati ni Zywon sa kanya. He smirked proudly at tiningnan ako.
"Ito ang unang beses na nakita kitang may dalang babae Z. Ito ba ang sinasabi nilang kasama mo noong tinalo mo si Bruno?", Lowie asked. He was smiling amusedly at me.
"Yup, this is Hebe. Hebe, si Cobalt", pakilala ni Zywon. Napatingin si Lowie sa kamay namin ni Zywon na magkahawak. I immediately pulled my hand bago pa man siya mag-isip ng kung anu-ano.
"Hebe. Hmm, interesting name", he said at ngumisi. Inilahad niya ang palad niya sa akin at kahit naiinis ay tinanggap ko pa rin iyon.
"Hello Cobalt", I said hardly. My voice is full of anger and sarcasm. Mabuti na lamang at maingay ang paligid dahil hindi nila mahahalata ang panginginig sa boses ko.
"Can I have a minute with Hebe, Z?"
Zywon froze for a while at nag-aalalang tinignan ako. I know he was acting. I gave him an assuring look at tinapik siya sa balikat.
"Don't worry Z. Babatiin ko lang din siya", I said at lumapit kay Lowie. He walked a few distance at sumunod naman ako sa kanya.
"Buhay ka pa pala", wika niya ng walang kabuhay-buhay.
"I'm here so I guess I am. And don't act like you're surprised dahil alam kong hindi ka na nagulat", sagot ko sa kanya.
"Can't blame you. You had the Vander mafia on your side", sagot niya sa akin at tiningnan ako. "What are you doing here? Balak mo bang maghiganti sa akin?"
Umiling ako sa kanya. "I'm here to ask you about your organization." Bigla na lamang siyang bumunghalit ng tawa.
"What made you think I will provide you with information?"
"I have few drugs on hand. STX2 right? Tell me things about your organization or else I will hand those drugs to the police", nakangising wika ko. Gray and I took few samples of the drugs that Victoria's friend got.
He was stiffened on his track at tila pinoproseso pa sa utak niya ang mga sinabi ko. "Really, Hebe?" He emphasize his word on Hebe, mocking me.
"I am warning you. Ayaw niyong malaman ng pulis ang tungkol sa inyo. Now choose, provide me information or I will provide the police some information", I said. Sinusubukan kong takutin siya gamit ang salita ko ngunit mukhang wala lamang epekto sa kanya ang sinasabi ko.
"You never failed to amaze me. How about this Hebe, let's have a race. If I win, stop pestering me and give me the drugs that you have. If you win, fine. I will give you every information that I know."
It was a good offer, I know it ngunit anong alam ko sa karera?!
"I don't stand a chance to race with you!", I hissed. Alam kong iyon ang pinili niya dahil alam niyang wala akong panama sa kanya.
"But Z does. Put your bet on him."
Si Zywon ang ipapalaban ko sa kanya? Ngunit paano na lamang kong ayaw pumayag ni Zywon? Or what if Zywon will be in danger?! Baka sumemplang ang motorsiklo nito at- oh! I don't want to think about what will happen.
"Decide Hebe. Let's have a race. Z and me but of course you will ride on his back. Let's enjoy the ride to hell", nakakalokong ngumisi siya and I felt my body shivered. Everyone from Genesis is enough for me to have a murderous mind. Sa isip ko ay pinapatay ko na siya sa pinakabrutal na paraan.
I don't know if I am willing to risk. Mahirap tanggapin ang inaalok niyang kondisyon but it was quite tempting. If I will agree on a race with him, I cannot assure our security. Tuso si Lowie. We might get killed in the process. He may play dirty. But I must take the risk because something good may happen.
"Deal."
**********************
"Ano ba ang pumasok sa utak mo at tinaggap mo ang hamon niya?", iritableng singhal ni Zywon sa akin. He was preparing his gear for the race. Yep, he agreed pero andami pa niyang satsat matapos kong sabihin sa kanya ang pagtanggap ko sa hamon ni Lowie. He was angry, I'm sure.
"I trust you. Alam kong mananalo ka-"
"That's bullshit. Mananalo tayo kung normal na karera ito but this isn't. Cobalt is a devil. Alam mo bang tatlo na ang namatay dahil sa kanya? He usually bumped into them kaya nahuhulog sila sa bangin o di kaya ay pinapasabog niya ang sasakyan nila. Hindi mo ba naisip iyon? At kung manalo tayo, do you think he will really tell you every shit he knows about the organization?!"
Call it ego but I really found myself challenged with Lowie's offer to race. Naniniwala akong tutupad siya sa usapan namin if we will win this.
"Wag mo muna akong pagalitan please? Stay focus para manalo tayo."
He hit my forehead using his finger. "Ang tanga mo rin kasi minsan. You're not thinking before acting." Napalabi lamang ako at tiningnan siya. When he was done checking his motorcycle, sumampa na siya doon. I can still sense his anger pero pinipigilan niya ang sarili niya. His tires were almost burning up dahil sa ginagawa niya samantalang tuwang-tuwa naman ang mga naroon na nanunuod.
Nakita kong sumampa na rin si Lowie sa motor niya at ginaya ang ginawa ni Zywon. Mas lalo pang umugong ang sigawan ng mga tao dahil doon. Inayos ko ang suot ko at umangkas sa likod ni Zywon. Unlike my first experience, I don't need to sit back to back with him and no need to tie myself with his belt.
"This is not a drag race Amber. This is an illegal street racing at base sa gustong mangyari ni Cobalt, he wanted a race which involves drifting on curves and lanes. The route is a dangerous road. Delikado ang gagawin natin and we need to trust each other", wika ni Zywon habang nakatingin sa harap. Alam ko ang ibig niyang sabihin. Ang daan sa kalyeng iyon ay bangin ang nasa gilid kaya ano mang oras ay pwede kaming mamatay.
"Alam ko kaya nga pinagkakatiwalaan kita", I replied and moved myself closer to him. I know exactly how dangerous it is but still I am determined to do this. I held the straps of my backpack tightly. I cannot lose this backpack dahil nandito ang death notebook ni Phobie. Binabasa ko iyon kanina at nasa bahaging ilalahad na ni Phobie ang isang bagay na makakapagbagsak sa Genesis na ako. After the race tonight, ipagpapatuloy ko ang pagbabasa doon.
"Magsisimula na. Humawak ka ng mabuti sa akin", narinig kong wika ni Zywon at pinaandar ang motor. He moved towards the front kung nasaan ang starting lane.
"Eto ang unang beses na maglalaban tayo Z. You're lucky tonight, ikaw ang napili ni Hebe", Lowie said and grin at us.
"Ganoon na nga Cobalt. I will make sure to win this race upang hindi naman ako mapahiya."
"On your marks!", sigaw ng isang lalaking may hawak na baril. I don't know if it is real or not. He counted one to three at pinutok iyon.
Everything was so fast. Kung hindi ako nakakapit ay baka nahulog na ako ng tuluyan nang magsimula ang karera. All I can hear is the sound of the gears and the crowd's cheers. Halos hindi magkalayo ang distansya namin mula kay Lowie. Sa simula ay steady lamang ito sa pagpapatakbo ngunit bigla na lamang akong napasigaw nang bahagya niya kaming binangga. If Zywon was not fast enough to accelerate, baka nahulog na kami sa bangin. I cursed Lowie's name so many times ngunit nadadala lamang ng hangin ang boses ko.
Gaya ng unang beses na sumakay ako sa likuran ni Zywon, I was very scared but this time, I keep all my prayers in my mind. Kailangan ko ring bantayan si Lowie dahil ano mang minuto ngayon ay gagawa ulit siya ng hakbang upang mahulog kami sa bangin.
Mas tamang sabihin na lumilipad kami ngayon. Mabilis ang pagpapatakbo ni Zywon ngunit naaabutan pa rin kami ni Lowie. Nang wala na kami sa mabanging bahagi ng daan, muli niyang binangga ang gilid ng motor namin. I can feel my heart beat faster. Takot ang nararamdaman ko. Just like what he said kanina, we will be enjoying our ride to hell.
Nakaiwas ulit si Zywon but Lowie continued tailing us. I thought he will still bump us ngunit bigla na lamang akong napasigaw nang sinipa niya ang motor namin. It was when Zywon ran over a big stone kaya madali lamang na natumba ang sinasakyan namin. I almost cried in pain nang maipit ang paa ko. What's worst is that we fell right before a fence made of barbed wire at napangiwi ako nang maramdaman ang pagtusok niyon sa braso ko. Madilim doon at walang nagbabantay dahil malayo pa kami sa susunod na lapse.
Huminto si Lowie sa gilid namin at ngumisi. "I told you that this is a ride to hell pero kinagat mo pa rin Hebe."
Narinig ko ang pagmura ni Zywon habang tinatanggal ang katawan niyang naipit sa motor. His head was bleeding at tinulungan niya akong kumawala sa ilalim ng motor. Behind the barbed wore fence ay pampang ulit. From the smell of the breeze at tunog ng alon, I'm sure na dagat ang nasa ibaba ng pampang.
"This is cheating Cobalt", sigaw ni Zywon sa kanya. My leg hurt at gayundin ang braso kong nagkasugat-sugat dahil sa barbed wire.
"I'm sorry Z pero hindi ko maiwasang idamay ka dito." Tumawa siya ulit at naglabas ng baril mula sa kanyang bulsa.
"What are you doing!" Paika-ika akong napalapit kay Zywon at tinago siya sa likod ko. Bakit may baril?! Argh! I shouldn't have trusted him! Naramdaman ko ang paghawak ni Zywon sa kamay ko mula sa likuran. He tightly squeezed it kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. His he looked at me in the eyes at sa likuran namin. Does he mean that ...
"I'm sorry Hebe but I am not as crazy as you are. In fact I am crazier than you think. Ikinalulungkot kong sabihin pero hanggang dito ka na lang", he raised his hand which was holding a gun at itinutok iyon sa amin. Malayo kami sa mga taong nanunuod ng karera at madilim sa bahaging iyon kaya wala kaming ibang maaring mahingan ng tulong.
Ngumisi siya at akmang kakalabitin ang gatilyo nang bigla na lamang kaming nakarinig ng sirena ng mga police cars. Napatingin siya sa pinagmulan niyon and cursed nang mapansin na malapit na ang mga pulis.
"Shit!", he cursed again and returned his gaze to us. Muli niyang iniangat ang kamay ngunit bago pa man niya makalabit ang gatilyo ay bigla na lamang akong hinila ni Zywon.
"Jump!"
And the next thing I know, we leaped through the barbed wire fence at tumalon sa pampang. Iniinda ko ang sakit ng paa ko dahil sa pagkaka-semplang namin sa motor. I only didn't notice it kanina dahil sa takot na nadarama ko habang tumatalon kami sa madilim at maalon na dagat. The area was so dim at kapag nagkataong napakabato ng bahaging iyon ay siguradong magiging katapusan na namin. Before my mind was totally black, I silently prayed that we will survive this tonight.
***
I dreamt about a black sea where I was swimming with all my might. In my dream, a man was swimming with me and he reached for my face as he tried to pull me up. Bigla na lamang akong napaubo ng ilang beses. I felt some liquids came out of my mouth at nararamdaman ko ang pagdampi ng napakalamig na hangin sa balat ko. That's when I realized that I wasn't dreaming. It was all real. Back then, Zywon and I jumped off the cliff and swam on the deep and dark sea. Bigla na lamang akong napamulat at nakita ang nakatunghay na mukha ni Zywon. I cannot clearly see his face dahil tanging ang ilaw ng di kalayuan lighthouse ang tanglaw na naroon. Agad akong tumayo mula sa pagkakahiga sa buhangin at hinarap si Zywon.
"Thank goodness!", he sighed in relief nang tuluyan akong bumangon. Umupo siya sa buhangin at habol ang hininga. Gaya ko ay basa rin siya.
When everything came back to my senses, I realized that I survived from being dead again. We could have died in two possible way kanina; 1) Mamatay sa baril na dala ni Lowie at 2) Malunod o di kaya ay mabagok sa bato pagkatapos naming tumalon sa pampang. I didn't regret trusting my life to Zywon. Sabi nga, we must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible. I felt the pain in my arm na dulot ng mga mumunting pangos at sugat na nasa braso ko. My leg was numb and I remembered that we lost balance at nadaganan kami ng motor.
"How's your leg?", tanong ko kay Zywon habang tinitingnan siya. He looked so beaten at tila pagod na pagod habang hinahabol ang hininga.
"It's fine. I think we can still walk", sagot niya sa akin.
"Good. Umalis na tayo dito", wika ko sa kanya at inalalayan siyang tumayo. I frowned when I remember that he got a wound on his head. Marahil ay nabagok iyon sa bato kanina nang matumba kami. "How about the wound on your head?"
"It's not fatal, don't worry", he replied at agad naming tinungo ang hindi kalayuang lighthouse. Good thing there was the lifeguard at agad niya kaming dinaluhan. He called us a cab at agad akong nagpahatid sa bahay namin.
It's been a while since the last time that I have been here. When Dad died, this house just used to hurt me kapag naaalala ko ang mga masasayang pagkakataon na kasama ko si Daddy. The key was hidden right on the hanging plant malapit sa gate. Agad kong binuksan iyon habang inaalalayan si Zywon. Compared to me, he was badly hurt.
"I thought you're bringing me to a hospital", komento niya nang binuksan ko ang ilaw ng kabahayan at agad na lumiwanag iyon. It's past two in the morning and the neighbors are already asleep kaya hindi nila alam na umuwi ako.
"Before I do that we'd better change our clothes. I cannot stand the coldness of the dawn", sagot ko sa kanya at pinaupo siya sa sofa. He hesitated at first dahil basa pa rin siya but I pushed him down upang mapaupo siya doon.
"Do not bring me to the hospital, ayos lang naman ako. Isa pa, ayaw ko ng complications. I just need some rest."
Hindi ko siya sinagot at ini-lock ko na lamang ang pinto. He roamed his gaze around the house at bahagyang isinandal ang ulo. Maliit lamang ang bahay namin kumpara sa mansion ng mga Vander. It was just a two-storey house with two bedrooms at isang silid sa baba na ginagamit ng katulong. After Dad's death, the two maids were deployed kaya wala ng tao dito sa bahay. It's a bit dusty pero ayos na rin kaysa pumunta pa kami ng ospital.
Inalalayan ko ulit siyang tumayo upang makaakyat kami sa taas. He was hesitant at first pero napilit ko pa rin siya. Dinala ko siya sa silid ko at pinaupo sa upuan.
"I think I can find some of Dad's spare clothes", wika ko sa kanya bago lumabas at pumunta sa silid nina Daddy. Being here brings so many memories pero hindi ko muna inisip iyon. We have a situation right now at kailangan naming maging maayos. Finding clothes for Zywon is not hard. Maliit si Daddy, maybe I got my physique from him. I also took some spare boxer shorts na nasa mga box pa.
Pagbalik ko sa silid ko ay nakahubad ng damit si Zywon. He was only wearing his pants habang sinisipat ang sugat na dulot ng pagkakatusok sa barbed wire. Iniiwas ko ang tingin mula sa katawan niya. Dumeretso ako sa drawer ko at kumuha ng tuwalya at iniabot iyon sa kanya.
"Clean yourself inside the bathroom", wika ko at tinuro ang isa pang pinto na nasa silid ko. Inilapag ko din sa kama ang mga dala kong damit. "Use this clothes to change at pagkatapos ay saka ko gagamutin ang mga sugat mo."
Tinanggap niya ang tuwalya mula sa akin. "Thanks", he said at paika-ikang tinungo ang itinuro kong pinto. When he got inside ay agad naman akong kumuha ng sarili kong damit at tinungo ang banyo sa silid nina Daddy.
Pagkatapos kong maglinis ng katawan ay agad akong nagbihis at bumalik sa kwarto ko. I knocked few times at nang marinig ko ang boses ni Zywon na sinasabing pumasok ako ay agad akong sumunod. He was already wearing the clothes that I provided at muling nakaupo sa upuang ginamit niya kanina. Inilapag ko sa harapan niya ang tsinelas na kinuha ko mula sa kabilang silid at inayos ang dala kong first aid kit sa kama.
"Can you walk here?", I asked at tiningnan siya. Nag-aalangang tumayo naman siya at lumapit sa akin.
"Ayos lang ba talaga na pinapasok mo ako sa kwarto mo?"
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin. "Well, rooms are kind of private space. I mean it is a private space."
I scoffed at him at hinawakan ang braso niya upang mapaupo siya sa kama. "That's least of my concern now dahil nasa isang emergency situation tayo." Sinimulan kong linisin ang mga galos at sugat niya sa braso. Like he said, it wasn't fatal. Maliit lang din ang sugat na nasa ulo niya at maging sa binti. It was good thing that we fell on the grassy ground kaysa sa sementadong daan. Kaunti lamang ang nakuha naming galos but we got some wounds because of the barbed wire. We just hope na hindi kami ma-tetano dahil doon.
Bigla na lamang niyang hinawakan ang braso ko. Gaya niya ay nasugatan din ako. "You're wounded too."
"Yeah. In case you forgot, natumba tayo sa may barbed wire", sagot ko sa kanya. I found myself looking down and blaming myself. Kasalanan ko ito. If I haven't accepted Lowie's challenge, hindi sana kami nagkasugat-sugat at tumalon sa pampang.
"But Just Amber, is it really okay na tayo lamang dalawa dito?", he asked again at napatigil ako sa kakalinis sa sugat niya at dahan-dahang inaarok sa isip ko kung bakit tanong siya ng tanong ng ganoon.
Kami lamang dalawa ang nandito sa bahay. Specifically sa kwarto.
"Oh my God! You're uncomfortable?", I asked so clueless and when I looked at him, he was biting his lower lip. Then it hit me. Umaandar na naman ba ang kagaguhan niya? I raised my brow at binato sa mukha niya ang bulak na ginamit ko sa sugat niya.
"You, pig!"
"Anong pig ka dyan? Ano ba ang iniisip mo?", he glared me at tinapon pabalik sa akin ang bulak.
"Stop your dirty thoughts Zywon!"
"I'm not having dirty thoughts! Ikaw lamang ang nag-iisip niyan!", umiwas siya ng tingin at kumuha ng panibagong bulak. This time, he reached for my arm at nagsimulang linisin ang mga sugat ko. Then guilt crept into my mind and I just felt the need to apologize.
"I'm sorry about what happen Zywon", wika ko habang sinusundan ng tingin ang hawak niyang bulak.
"Para sa?"
"Dahil sa nangyari. Do I need to tell you what I did?"
He shook his head. "No need. You know what Just Amber? I think I'm getting used to you being so stubborn. Sa katunayan ay mas magugulat pa ako kung hindi mo ipapasok sa kapahamakan ang sarili mo."
"Is that bad?"
Muli siyang umiling. "I don't know. Maybe? Hindi kasi siguradong makakaligtas kasa susunod na pagkakataon eh."
"I know but I just can't. Ewan ko, maybe this is who I am. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they are supposed to help you discover who you really are. And I think this is really me", sagot ko sa kanya. When he finally put the last bandaid on my wound ay humikab na siya.
"Maybe let's call it a day", he said. "Can I sleep here? Please don't leave me alone."
His voice was sweet or maybe it was just his sleepy voice. Nang akmang hihiga na siya sa kama ay pinigilan ko.
"Hep! What are you doing?"
"This is called lying, you know", he shove me on the side at tuluyan ng nahiga sa kama ko.
"This is my bed!"
"And I am your guest!"
"There's no special treatment for guests here!"
"Can't you at least be hospitable to your guest? Let him sleep on the bed!"
Dahil magaan lamang ako ay madali lamang sa kanya na tabigin ako. I rolled on the bed and if I was not fast enough, malamang nahulog na ako.
"I'm tired. Good night Just Amber", he said and covered his face with my pillow. My pillow. My poor pillow! It's one of the thing that I considered very private. I sighed in surrender. I guess I have no other choice but to sleep beside him.
Ilang minuto lamang ay narinig ko na ang mahinang paghihilik ng katabi ko samantalang nakapamulagat pa ako. Like him, I'm dead tired but my mind keeps on thinking about so many things. Gusto kong matulog pero hindi ako makatulog. I got up from the bed at nagpasyang bumangon at basahin na lamang ang death notebook ni Phobie. Nalingunan ko ang backpack na suot ko kanina na nasa upuan.
We jumped off the cliff and I was wearing that bag. Ibig sabihin...
My eyes grew wider at agad akong tumakbo patungo sa bag. Basa iyon gaya ng inaasahan ko but I'm still hoping something might still be useful from inside the bag. Binuksan ko iyon at una kong nakita ang bago kong cellphone. Uh, Goodbye two days old phone. I reached for the next thing that was inside the bag. Tumulo pa iyon at bahagya pang napunit ng hawakan ko. Shit! No way!
Phobie's notebook was soaked wet at hindi na iyon mapapakinabangan kahit patutuyuin pa. The writings were erased at kasabay niyon ang pagkabura ng pag-asa ko na malaman ang bagay na tinutukoy ni Phobie na maaring makapagbagsak sa organisasyon.
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-ShinichiLaaaabs