E.W.E.W - L.W.T.B.B Copyright © 2012-2017 xXMopelXx All Rights Reserved.
Current Chapter Posted - Sunday, January 22, 2017
NEW TITLE CHANGE. LIVING WITH THE BAD BOY IS OFFICIALLY EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED!
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{ Chapter 26 } : I'm fcking crazy about you
My pillow was wet with my tears.
I hadn't bothered with changing clothes when I got home. I threw myself onto my bed, letting out everything I kept bolted.
At first, I couldn't figure why I was crying, why I was even overwhelmed with the need to release it all. It may have had something to do with the fact that this would be the first night in a few that I actually spent in my own bed. It might have been because of one simple answer. Samuel Rafael Adams.
I'm his girlfriend - Those words, they were stuck on an endless loop in my mind, like a torturous broken record taunting me of what I wouldn't get to hear next. Those words, they amplified the ache in my heart until the shattered pieces sunk to the pit of my stomach and left in their wake a gaping, hollow spot.
My body was shaking as I lay cocooned in my sheets, curled into a foetus positing, trying yet miserably failing to stop the wracking sobs from moving my frame.
I was hurt beyond what I could imagine. But I would get over it. I would so get over it. This wasn't the first time I felt like I'd had my vital organ pulverized. This would not be the first time I'd been played roughly. Not the first time that I'd been lied to. But this, however, would be the first time that it left such a strong impact. Sam kept things - truths - hidden from me, but Joey had spread it all out and humiliated me in the process. It felt like Sam's betrayal was the one that rested heaviest on my chest.
Oh, God. I was opening and showing him the real me. I was falling for him. I had falling for him.
All along he had a girlfriend.
I sniffled and ran the back of my hand over the slope of my cheek. It came back with a streak of black mascara.
He told me she wasn't his girlfriend. But the look on the girl's face confirmed it. I was the one being played once again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that's my bad.
After tonight, I'd pick up and mend the jagged ends of my heart. Tomorrow morning, I'd be okay. Tomorrow night, I'd forget that he mattered the way I let him matter to me.
The door shook on his hinges as pounding knocks resonated on the other side. "Anna! Anna, open up!"
I raised my head and squinted. My room was splashed in darkness, save for the tiny trickle of light spearing from underneath the door. The voice only grew louder. My mind filtered a little late that it was Sam. Resting my head back on my damp pillow, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the pain the sound of his voice evoked within me.
"Anna...baby," he was panting now. "Please, please, open the fvcking door. I know you can hear me. Let me talk to you. Let me explain...Please...Open the door for me, Barbie. Let me see you."
The knocking stopped. I held my breath. My eyes darted in the stillness my room, registering nothing but blackness. Just holding my breath steady.
Because I was weak. I was about to give in and open the door and demand explanations he probably didn't have. I feared that I'd open the door and throw myself in his arms, demanding he fix this mess.
Instead I kept my mouth shut, my eyes open and my heart breathing for his next words.
"Please, sweetheart," his voice was a ragged whisper. "It's not what you think. Please, Anna. It's you. There's no one else. Believe me, baby. You're all that..."
I fell asleep, overcome by exhaustion and a strong pull of slumber that I couldn't deny.
* * *
"We're setting up Gabriela and Hunter tonight."
Layla's softly uttered words hung in the air. I glanced up from my perched position on my vanity.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Lay," I murmured.
Her mouth twisted into a pinched line and she sighed, sinking deeper into my faux fur white chair. "I know," she admitted, biting her lip. "It's Josh's idea, once again. Only this time my guts telling me it's going to go well."
I was in the middle of surfing Instagram, going on a little liking-rampage where I double-tapped any quote with a sly giant-fvck-you towards a cheating guy. I'm pretty sure Sam was following me. I'm pretty sure he'd see it eventually. He'd better.
Layla came over after school today. Sensing something wrong with me, she made up some bullshxt excuse of how she'd needed to borrow some makeup and clothes. I could see right through her. She wanted to make sure I was okay. She wanted to catch up since she'd been so wrapped up with school, her family and Joshua. I appreciated her effort, especially since I only wanted to be alone right now. I still hadn't told her and Gabby about my feelings for Sam.
There would be no more feelings for him, a sharp voice chided inside my mind.
"Just consider Gabby's thoughts into this too, okay?" I tried to bring my own train of thought back to my best friend. "Think about her feelings. She wouldn't want to be set up once again. We're supposed to be her friends, Lay...We can't do that to her."
She gave another martyr sigh and made a frustrated sound as her eyes flickered to the ceiling. "I know we shouldn't...but as her friends, we should want her happiness. I know she acts like she's fine with the whole Hunter situation, but she's not," Layla's voice dropped. "Hunter does the same from what Josh tells me. They're never going to get over each other until they fully face their feelings and come to a conclusion."
"And what if that conclusion isn't a good one?"
"Then at least we know we gave it a try." Layla ran her fingers through her short ombre hair. "Hunter broke up with his girlfriend over more than a week ago. He's been wanting to talk to Gabby. We're giving them that chance tonight."
I folded my arms over my chest. "And how are 'we' going to make this happen?"
A stupid, goofy grin took over her face. "Josh is going to lure them both upstairs into a room, and then we're going to lock them in from the outside so they have no choice but to talk. Then make up. Then maybe make out. Even have sex in the guest bedroom if they're down."
I couldn't resist covering my mouth with my hand. "I'm certain this was Josh's idea."
Layla stood up from the chair. "He's such a fvcking idiot," she laughed. "But he's my idiot and he's an idiot that I love. He knows it, too."
I'm an asshole... but I'm your asshole, got it?
I was too late to mask the slice of pain that travelled over me. I flinched. Layla noticed. She frowned and her eyes spoke of kindness.
"Anna...Talk to me. I'm done skirting around the topic. You're not doing okay," she croaked. "You know you can tell me whatever is on your mind, right?" she whispered, stepping closer to me. "Honey, I'll never push you to talk about what you can't talk about. But I'm always here when you need me. One phone call away."
I was shaking my head back and forth.
"Do you want to...Can we talk about it?" she pleaded so nicely that I felt horrible for shutting her out.
Nervousness clawed at my throat until it was gripping it tightly. "Please. I can't talk about it right now."
Layla's shoulders sagged as understanding moved over her face like a cloud. Her eyes drew in everything and made a conclusion. "It's him, isn't it?"
I jolted. "What are you talking about?"
She jerked her head towards my bedroom door. "Him, Anna. The one you're always thinking about. The one you're always staring at. You can't keep your eyes off of him."
Oh, God. No. I started moving away from her, walking towards my closet and pulling out clothes for tonight. I was too tired to argue with Layla and Josh's plan. Too tired of thinking. Of feeling.
"Anna."
I gave in, my voice shaky. "H-How did you know?
A wry smile curved her mouth when I glanced at her over my shoulder. "It's obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes. It's written all over both of your faces."
I couldn't say a word. Didn't utter a single syllable.
"If he did something to hurt you, tell me-"
I turned my back on Layla so she wouldn't see the one lone tear that escaped my eye. "I'll see you later tonight, Lay."
* * *
I avoided Sam all day.
He'd be there at Josh's house tonight and I would see him then. I had no choice in that matter. When I heard him come up the stairs in the evening and pause outside my bedroom door, I stopped breathing. I felt him breathing heavily. Then the door to the bathroom creaked open and the sound of the shower being turned on echoed.
I grabbed my thigh-highs and cardigan and ran down the stairs before he could see me.
Fifteen minutes later and I arrived at the gas station. I filled my car up and then went inside to grab a couple of munchies for tonight. I wished I could get shxtfaced on spiced rum and Pepsi, but I was driving back home. So in true heartbreak fashion, I grabbed myself a tub of salted caramel ice cream - my new addiction - and a few bars of snickers.
I was on my way to pay, when a hand clamped like a vice around my wrist, twisted it painfully, and yanked me back inside the aisle.
My scream never fully broke out. Another large hand covered my mouth and stopped any protest.
"You've got some damn nerves, Party Girl," Joey Donald's voice bled saccharinely into my ear.
Heart racing, I tried to yank myself out of his grip, but I was no match for him. Circling both my wrists behind my back, he held them fiercely at an angle that shot darts of pain up my arms. I cried some more. No one could hear me.
In the dim lighting of the store, we were perfectly shielded by the views of the guy who sat at the cash register with a baseball cap hiding the better part of his eyes and a newspaper in his hands.
"I let you off easy last time," his voice, laced with menace and something eerily dark caused a frisson to run through my body. "Think you wouldn't see me again after that stunt you and your guy pulled? Fvcking wrong, Anna. I'll never leave. Not until I get what I want from you."
I tried once again to shake out of his grasp. I growled in frustration and bit his hand. He released it with a stinging curse, before jerking my head forward until it collided with the thick glass. My skull ached. "You fvcking bastard."
He mashed my face further into the cold glass door and pushed my body into it with his. The milk cartons sitting inside the shelf rattled with his force. His other hand came around and gripped my jaw. "Make a sound right now, and I swear I'll have that precious fighter of yours cut to tiny little pieces by one of my men."
I stilled. But my heart didn't. My breathing was coming out in rapid successions. Fvck, he could do that. He could kill easily.
"Good girl," he chuckled darkly into my ear, and I felt his hair brush my neck. "I want something from that fighter boyfriend of yours. Knew I recognized him from somewhere. If I don't get it, we're going to have a problem, Anna baby," he purred and the sound was so disgusting. "You don't want a problem with me now, do you? We don't want another situation like your father-"
My body was shaking with the overload of adrenaline running through my system. So much that I used my heeled boots and stepped on his foot until he roared aloud. I spun out of his grip and clocked his jaw. The sound, so satisfying, did nothing to dim the bloodthirsty demon inside of me.
"Talk about my father one more time, Joey, and I'll cut you to tiny pieces myself. No men needed," I snarled, getting into his face and shoving him until he stumbled into the shelves behind him, his face a picture-perfect mask of stunned. "I don't have a boyfriend so you're out of luck. Piss me off one more time and you'll regret it."
Joey snagged my wrist once more and pressed into it painfully with his thumb until I whimpered. "You better watch it with me, bxtch. I'm only going to tell you this once. At midnight, you text Nathaniel and let him know I want something. He'll know what I'm talking about. And I'll know if you didn't text him, Party Girl. You won't like the consequences."
I squeezed his forearms with my sharp manicured nails and got him to release me. I even drew some blood. "If you ever touch me again, I'll fvcking kill you, Joey. I better not see you again after this. That's a promise."
"And if you don't do what I tell you, I promise you, Connor will find you miraculously in some alleyway and have his way with you. I'll even let my boys watch."
I froze in place, my adrenaline slowly evaporating until a strong sense of dread seeped inside of me. He'd have me rxped. This fvcking cold-blooded fvcker would have me fvcked like an animal in front of his men. He would do it. And I was scared. I fought the tears.
Joey's soulless blue eyes danced in mirth. He ran a palm through that brown wavy mane of his. "I know how to get what I want, Jodanna," he said lowly. "Don't ever test my patience. You won't like the consequences. Text Nate exactly at midnight tonight and you'll be spared if they...cooperate. Don't breathe a word to your boyfriend about this."
I didn't even want to consider what would happen if I didn't. I'd never felt so scared for my life than in this moment. I was holding it together with everything that I could muster.
"Now be a good girl, pay for your items, and get the fvck out of my place."
* * *
Midnight couldn't come quicker.
When I got to Joshua's place, I parked in his driveway and breathed deeply through my nose. I was terrified for me and for my family. Joey was a cruel bxstard, and if Nate didn't cooperate with whatever he wanted, then he wouldn't only target me, but probably my family as well. Whatever was left of us, anyway.
But Sam...What did Joey want from him? He didn't mention anything besides knowing that he fought underground. But there was no word of what he truly wanted from him. Only that Nate was aware of what Joey wanted. This was all vexing.
I got out of my car, hoping to God that Nate would cooperate and tell me what the hell was going on. I needed to know how to keep myself safe. I'd even beg Nate if I had to.
The thought of Connor's hands on me, after al the these, made me shuddered. He'd wanted this. The sick fvck probably begged Joey to let him go at it. I'd be damned if I let any of this happen. I was no longer their puppet. I'd find a way to get myself out of this. With or without Nate.
My stomach clenched with fearful anticipation of midnight.
Joshua opened the door and beamed. "Hey, Anna."
I blinked. Forgot that I'd been standing at his porch.
"Hey." He took the ice cream and chocolate from my hands, ushered me inside, and gave me a one-armed hug. It was a nice gesture. I needed it.
"Ready?" he smirked goofily.
I grinned back despite my beating heart. "Always."
I'd been to Joshua's house before, so I knew where I was headed when he steered us into the large family room. Four large black sectional sofas made the espace, a massive TV hung on the wall and the lights were dimmed to create an ambiance.
Layla was already sitting next to Cade, the bartender I recognized from Danny's Grill. She waved me over and I went to sit next to her. He greeted me with a smile then went back to typing away on his phone.
Joshua was in the kitchen, preparing drinks and snacks.
Layla leaned close to me and whispered. "Hunter's already here. Josh sent him upstairs to the game room to grab a few DVDs. We lied and said we couldn't find anything on Netflix."
I nodded. "Is Gabby here already?"
She shook her head. "She's on her way." Then she really looked at me. "Anna, you look sick...Are you okay?"
I couldn't tell Layla what happened. Not until I texted Nate. I wasn't risking anyone's safety. "Y-Yeah. My head hurts. I didn't take my meds."
It's scary how good I was getting at lying, because she believed me. Or at least, she pretended to believe me. That was good enough for now.
My wrist was angry-red and swollen. It was a reminder of what went down tonight. I hid it from everyone's view.
Joshua set bowls of chips and sweet munchies on the glass coffee table in front of us. Cade and Layla instantly dug in.
"Here," Josh said to me.
I looked up and he handed me my tub of ice cream with a spoon. He'd even drizzled more caramel sauce on the top. Bless his heart. "Thank you, Josh."
My stomach was still churning so I didn't think I'd be able to digest anything. I would, however, try for the sake of my friends.
I barely took a bite when the doorbell rang. My heart pounded faster. What if it was Sam?
Joshua kissed Layla's forehead before he got up. "I'll get it." Then he yelled. "Hey, Hunt! Stay up there will ya? I need help with something."
Hunter called back. "Yeah, shxthead. I can't find the Bourne trilogy."
Joshua went to the door and brought Gabriela back with him. A bit of relief washed over me. She smiled at us shyly and brought in three boxes of pizza. Josh hugged her and took her stuff. "Hey, Gabby. Can I ask you for a favor?"
"Sure." She took off her coat and put it on the pillow beside her. I put my ice cream bowl down. Layla and I exchanged a nervous look.
"Do you mind going upstairs to the game room and taking out some movies for us to watch." So calmly, he gestured to Layla and I. He was good at keeping up the façade. "Your friends are being princesses and can't find anything on Netflix."
My mouth popped open. Layla's gaped. "Uh, Josh? As$hole much? Anna and I are right here."
He waved us off and pretended it was all light banter as he shot us a wink. Things were obviously going his way. I resisted the urge to tell Gabby. I couldn't keep it in.
Gabby chuckled. "I'm not even surprised. Yeah, I'll do it. Where is it?"
"Two doors to your right. Top floor."
Gabriela went up the stairs gingerly, her steps unsure and measured. The door to the room was left open. She entered. Josh sprinted up the staircase. Gabby shrieked. Hunter cussed. Josh quickly shut the door on their shocked faces and locked it from the outside.
Then he bounded down the steps, whistling and twirling his keys around his pointer finger.
"Oh, my God," I whispered.
"JOSHUA YOU FVCKING D!CK. COME BACK AND OPEN THE DOOR!"
Josh scratched his brown hair. His mock-confused eyes wandered the room. "Do you guys hear anything?"
Cade, Layla and I shook our heads.
Josh grinned darkly. "Didn't think so."
Then he took the remote and switched on Netflix.
* * *
Gabby and Hunter were stuck in the room for thirty minutes.
At first, there was raucous. It sounded like they were finally confronting each other and yelling out profanities. It got eerily quiet after a few. Even Josh started fidgeting and getting worried.
The doorbell rang then precisely, and I knew exactly who it was.
I closed my eyes for a brief second.
Sam entered a second later with Joshua. His dark blond hair was wet and sat like a mass of gold on top of his head, always faded and cropped closely to the side. There was a new split on his bottom lip. A darkish bruise marred the side of his jaw. He was never bruise-less.
He was no longer my concern, I thought, looking away.
"Sorry, I'm late." He did his rounds, saying hello to Layla, bumping fists with Cade. He asked about Hunter and Gabriela. Cade told him. He smirked. "Well, I hope it works out for them."
Samuel sat down right next to me, his knee bumping mine. He did it on purpose.
Josh resumed the movie. We were watching some spy-movie that I couldn't concentrate on. A conversation started in the background, something about Gabby and Hunter, and Cade and his ex-girlfriend. My ice cream was cold melted soup at this point. I didn't have any more strength to finish it.
Sam was close to me. Staring at me intently when he thought no one was looking.
Shifting away from him, I crossed my legs, one over the other. My blood was pumping a high dose of fear from Joey's encounter and a mixture of excitement from having Sam's strong body so close to mine. The feeling was nearly blanketed by the fact that Sam had lied to me.
I think my heart might have broken all over again.
Sam's hand inched closer to my thigh, grazing over my knees and pulling them apart. His hand kneaded my skin. His lips at me ear, he rumbled. "Baby."
No. No. I couldn't do this with him again.
I inhaled sharply in the dark, and everyone caught on. Cade looked at Sam and I suspiciously. Layla was watching us carefully.
"Anna, are you okay?" Josh said. "You don't look so good."
"I-I just need water." I clambered up on wobbly legs, pushing away Sam's hand. It broke the dizzying spell he had on me.
I couldn't stand to listen to anything about Gabriela and Hunter fixing their problem, and Layla and Josh as they planned some trip to an exotic land over the break. Not when Sam's intense eyes were moving over me every few seconds like he couldn't get enough of me. Not when Sam and I weren't fixing anything because we weren't sure if it was fixable or not.
I left the room quickly.
"Glasses are in the top cabinet to the left, besides the stovetop!" Joshua yelled out.
The kitchen was state-of-the-art with it's cream backsplash and black and gold accents, but I didn't have the time to admire it. I pulled out a glass and went to the sink to fill it. I chugged it. Wiped the clamminess gathered near my hairline with my hand. Filled another round. Took a lighter swig this time.
My carefully measured sip dripped past my parted lips and I wheezed a little when carpet-muted steps thundered behind me. I had a feeling it was Sam even before I turned around. He still managed to startle me.
The glass escaped my nimble fingers and dropped to the ground. I screamed, startled, bending down to pick up the broken pieces.
Before I could get to it, Sam grabbed my bruised wrist, whirled me around and pinned me with an angry glare. "Stop ignoring me, Anna."
I held in the painful sound about to escape me. My wrist throbbed. I yanked it out of his grasp. "I'm not ignoring you, Sam. I have nothing to say."
"Well I've got something to say, so you're going to listen to me, Barbie." In a move that left me speechless, he grabbed the back of my denim-clad thighs and hoisted me onto the island counter. Splitting my legs open, he situated himself between them and placed his hands on my waist. "She's not my girlfriend."
My mask crumbled along with my voice. "Then what the hell is she?"
Half-mast emerald eyes collided with mine. Sam raised a hand a held it to my cheek. It shook. "She's not you, dammit. That's what."
"I need more than that." My lips trembled. "You can't say stuff like that and then go back on your words. She said she was your girlfriend. You didn't even fvcking deny it. I'm a lot of things, Sam, but desperate and stupid isn't one. I'm not blind."
"Fvck, I never said you were stupid or desperate." He pressed his forehead to mine, and damn me, because I let him. "I think so highly of you, baby. You could never be any of those things."
"Then what is she, Sam?" I challenged, reaching out and cupping his stubble peppered jaw. Our noses bumped. We gazed at each other.
"She's a friend," he breathed, sucking in a deep breath when his fingers found the bare skin under the hem of my shirt. "She's a friend who used to need security and I provided her with it...sometimes. But you have to believe me when I say she's not my girlfriend."
I whipped back like he slapped me. "What do you mean security?"
Sam's features screwed into a miserable look. There was hope lingering in the depths of those hard etched lines in his forehead. I smoothed them out with my fingers. He closed his eyes at the feeling. "I haven't touched her in months. I haven't touched anyone since you threw your drink all over me at Josh's party. You're all I think about. You're all I care about. You're all in my head and you're all I need."
"Sam..."
He put two fingers to my lips. I watched his throat work with emotions. "Crystal, it's different with her," his husky voice was anguished. "I've been there for her during all her lows. I have my reasons for it. She's been there for me too when I needed her. But it's not like that between us anymore. I can't deny that it used to be. But she was never my girlfriend. She's been nothing to me since you."
My heart was ready to push its way out of my body and leap into his arms. Sensing my conflict, Sam bracketed my legs to make sure I didn't go anywhere. "You need to believe me. I haven't touched anybody in months, even before you. I haven't thought of her for a single day since I met you," he begged. "Christ, how could I even? Especially when I spend my days and nights thinking of how to make you smile and how to make you laugh. Thinking about what makes you tick and where all your problems lie. Hoping that you'll give me the chance to be the one to fix all your worries. To be the one who you confide in. Begging that you'll let me be the guy to do all those things for you. I have many flaws, Anna, and I'm a lot of things. But baby, a liar and a cheater isn't one."
He'd done it. With those words alone, he held my heart. His beautiful green eyes spoke of truth and vulnerability. This. This right here was the guy I'd begun to trust. This is the one I wanted. This is the one who got me. This is the one who opened me up and made me bare myself completely. There was no way he was lying to me. I believed him. "Samuel, hon..."
"Believe me, sweetheart. Take a chance on me. I have so much to tell you. So much I keep hidden. I want to show you my true self. Only if you'll accept me as I am, and give me the chance to tell you at my own pace."
I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Only if you do the same for me." We breathed each other in for a moment. "I believe you, Sam. I needed to hear that."
"I'm fucking crazy about you, Anna," he growled.
"I'm fucking crazy about you, too, baby."
"I'm taking you on a date tomorrow. Don't care what you say," he said stubbornly, his chest heaving with a breath of relief when I smiled.
"Okay, baby." I touched his temple and slowly dragged my fingers down his face, wanting to remember this moment.
He grabbed my sore wrist and dropped a million butterfly kisses on my knuckles. I laughed, loving the feeling. He grinned devilishly. "Call me baby again."
"Baby-" I started, and he yanked me down the island counter, tugging on my wrist to do so. I cried out in pain, failing to stifle the sound. Fvck, Joey had really done a number on my wrist. It was pulsing now.
"What the fvck?" Sam glanced down and his mouth gaped. He pushed my cardigan sleeve up to my elbow and ran his thumb over the marks my ex caused. He hissed a whistling sound through clenched teeth. "Jodanna, how did this happen?"
His nostrils flared and anger sparked in his eyes. Don't tell him. Tell him and you're risking his safety. I rolled my lips in my mouth and shook my head.
"No more secrets," he whispered, his deep baritone raising a few octaves as if he was physically tortured at the sight.
I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall to my left. 11:06 pm. At midnight, there would be no more secrets...
"No more secrets," I vowed.
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A/N: Thoughts? xo