I had just wrapped a towel around my hair when Luke texted me telling me he had gotten to my house. It was barely 7 o'clock in the morning and he didn't want to wake my family up by ringing the doorbell or knocking.
I don't know why we chose to leave this early to head off back to college, but we were doing it. Knowing Luke, he would've wanted to leave later in the afternoon, but I'm guessing that today was an exception for him.
I let the towel drop from my wet hair, as I knew Luke would get any chance he could to laugh at me about it, and I quietly ran downstairs to let him in. I unlocked the front door slowly to avoid any possible loud noises as my house did have quite the echo. I opened the door to find Luke rocking back and forth on his heels with a finger toying at his fresh lip ring, but he stopped immediately once he saw me.
He raised an eyebrow at me as a small smile grew on one side of his lips. I'm guessing that he wasn't expecting me to be with messy wet hair and fleece Christmas pajama bottoms on.
"Good morning." He softly said, leaning in to kiss me. I jerked back from him and laid a hand on his chest. He gave me a confused look once I met his eyes.
"Are you crazy?" I quickly asked.
"What?" He chuckled, looking me up and down.
"You know my family lives here, right?" I told him in the fear of being caught by yet another one of family members.
It wasn't that I didn't want my family to know that Luke and I had taken a particular 'interest' in each other, it's just that I knew my parents would not be too happy with me living in the same home as a boy I was constantly kissing on as they explained to me that they 'don't want to be grandparents at 40'. I've received that speech from them multiple times even though they know I haven't done anything stupid. It's just not a risk they want me taking.
"And who in the Saunders family gets up before 9am?" Luke jokingly scoffed as he stepped inside. I closed the door behind him and began to lead him upstairs.
"And who in the Hemmings family gets up before 9am? Because usually you don't." I replied as I walked up the stairs backwards so I could look at him.
"My dad." He answered with a smirk once we reached the top.
"That's such a lie, your dad gets up at the same time as you." I remained quiet, but wasn't at a whisper yet. Luke nodded his head to the side as he shoved his hands in his front pockets.
"Okay, yeah, that's true." He admitted.
I walked into my bathroom which luckily was attached to my room and I didn't have to worry about shouting across my house just so I could talk to Luke. I raked my fingers through my knotted hair that was still wet, yet had become slightly frizzy. I felt too lazy to blow dry it straight or do really anything with it so I tied it behind my head in a single braid.
I just started collecting the few essentials I had brought with me from our apartment and placed them in my suitcase that laid on the bed. It was neatly centered in my bed, but Luke had pushed it aside once he sat down which is something I expected from him. I had dragged the luggage closer to me and dropped the things in there.
"Jeez, Autumn. It's freezing in your house." He spoke up as he crossed his arms over his chest. I peered down at my attire as I was bundled in baggy clothes and mismatching socks over my feet. I wasn't cold myself, but I could see how Luke was from the lacking amount of layers he had on.
"I might have one of Travis' jackets you can borrow." I offered him as I walked over to my dresser and pulled out the bottom drawer. I dug around my own sweatshirt and pulled out a black crew neck that I knew wasn't mine and tossed it over to Luke. He easily caught it in his hands and stared up at me as I walked back over to him. "What?" I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"This is mine." He cracked a smile in the middle of his sentence which caused me to do the same.
"Well, now you can have it back." I laughed. He sat up straight and slipped the sweatshirt over his matching black t-shirt he had on. I zipped up my suitcase as I had everything I brought with me packed. "Done." I informed him as I rested the luggage on the ground.
"Are you sure?" He lightly giggled. Despite Luke's tall frame and broad shoulders and intimidating lip ring, he had the tendency to laugh like a little girl which is something that, to this day, I picked up on.
"Yeah?" I replied with letting out a soft laugh to match his. I watched his eyes trail down my torso then down to my legs which made me look down myself to see that I was still in my slouchy sweatshirt and pajama pants. "Right." I pointed a finger at him the turned on my heels to get a new set of clothes that was appropriate for the public.
Luke had his nose buried into his phone and was distracted so I decided that there wasn't really a point in trying to hide from him. I pulled my sweatshirt off and over my head to replace it with a similar one, it was way too early to have on nice and normal clothes. Just as I stuck my legs through my jeans, Luke's phone had began ringing, making both of us jump.
He hurriedly fumbled through his pockets to silence the loud noise and looked obviously annoyed once he had read who was calling him.
"What man?" He groaned. I raised an eyebrow at him while I struggled to get my jeans to settle on my hips which he couldn't help but crack a smile at. It fell just seconds after and he stood up from his spot on his bed. "Get your own ride." He spoke rather harshly. A few more seconds passed as he walked over to me once I was finally able to actually get myself dressed.
"Who is that?" I whispered. He put a single finger up to his lips.
"I'm with Autumn." He told the person on the other line. His eye widened slightly then his cheeks tinted to a light pink. "No, we didn't- no." He quickly mumbled as he shook his head lightly as he kept staring down at me. By this point I had stopped just to watch his lips curl as he talked to the other person on the other line. His hand was lightly and unnoticed as he placed it behind my arm just right above my elbow. I had been so consumed in trying to hear the voice behind the speaker that I hadn't noticed how close we were.
"Whatever, I'll be back before noon." His eyes dragged down and stayed locked on mine, not even flinching from our stance. "Bye." He muttered before shoving his phone into his back pocket. His now free hand hovered for a couple moments then he all together had let go of me, which is when I noticed that he had a hand around me the whole time.
"What was that all about?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him as he didn't sound too happy over the phone.
"That was Ashton. He was talking about some party he just left. He needed a ride back home." He explained.
"He just left? It's 7am." I laughed, flicking between his eyes.
"I know." He chuckled. "But Michael lives right around him and told him to call him about it."
"Why didn't we just give him a ride?" I laughed, not seeing why he sent Ashton off to another one of their friends. He slowly began to smirk at me and I couldn't but do the same thing back.
"So I could do this." He leaned down to me and I had just began to lean back in to kiss him, but had jerked back again as I was afraid of kissing him when I know someone could walk in. "Autumn." He groaned into the crook of my neck. I bit the tip of my tongue between my teeth as I moved my arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly. He pulled back from me with sheepish eyes.
I felt bad for denying him for a second time and maybe it was selfish of me to be worrying about getting in trouble, but I was saving his him too. I did like Luke and I wanted to figure out was he was thinking as much as he wanted to know what I was thinking. The only problem was that I am still worried about becoming something more for the sake of our friendship. I wasn't even ready to be in a relationship, but I didn't actually know if Luke was really wanting one either. For all I know he could just like kissing me and that's it.
"You know you never answered my question from the other night." He suddenly spoke.
"What question?" I cocked my head slightly the side from my lack of remembrance.
"What is going on?" He nearly pleaded. "With us, I mean." He didn't need to clarify what he was talking about since the second it fell from his mouth I remembered what he was asking. I parted my lips and inhaled sharply.
"Let's talk about it in the car." I suggested. I began to untangle my hands from around his neck when he grabbed my forearms and stared deep into my eyes.
"No, I want to talk about it now." He lightly tightened his grip around my arms to get his point across, but I myself needed a few minutes to even get together what was really going on.
"Please, Luke." I whispered. He blinked a few times at me then dropped my arms. He padded his feet along my bedroom floors and tugged my suitcase back to my door. I watched in silence as he did so.
"Alright, let's go then." He pulled my door open even wider and I hesitated for a moment, then slipped on the closest pair of shoes next to me. I ducked under his arm that was still holding the door open for me and headed straight to his car without thinking of anything else.
-
"Autumn." Luke's light voice rang through my ear. I swatted him away even though my eyes were still shut from sleeping. "Autumn." I heard once more, this time louder and shorter. I nuzzled my head further into the uncomfortable window of the car in hopes that I would be left alone. "Primrose!" He shouted, making my eyes flick open and sit up in my chair. I quickly turned my head to Luke who was leaned over the center console as he had also been shaking me by the looks of it.
"What!" I yelled back, making the annoyance in my voice loud and clear. He looked up at me and gave me a crooked smile.
"We're home." He told me with his voice softer and calmer than before.
"We're home?" I repeated. I rubbed my face and looked out the window to the we were indeed back at our apartment. "When did I fall asleep?" I hadn't even remembered any part of the drive except pulling out of my neighborhood.
"About 10 minutes in." He softly laughed. I nodded once at him then opened my door, I felt exhausted and wasn't in the mood to do anything than go back to sleep. I walked over to the back of his car, waiting in the stiff air for him to open it. I grabbed my suitcase before he could even make his way back to me and I went straight for the stairs.
I lugged my things up step after step as I ignored Luke who was quietly calling my name from behind me. I waited for him by our doorstep and sleepily watched him jingle the keys in the door while he watched me. Luke's stare had fallen deeply on me and I wasn't curious enough to ask him why. We stepped inside, both sighing loudly at the same time.
"I'm going to go back to sleep." I mumbled to him. He furrowed his eyebrows at me then I began walking towards my room, only for him to grab my arm and stop me.
"We still haven't talked." His tone was blank and unreadable, something that kept me worried.
"Can we talk later?" I whined. I felt myself avoiding the topic and it concerned me. I didn't know what would come out of Luke's mouth and I didn't know what would come out of mine.
"No." He plainly said. I slumped my shoulders forward and glanced away from him for a mere second then back up to him. "I want to know what you're thinking." He let go of my arm that I had forgotten that he was holding onto.
"I thought you knew me better than I know myself." I crossed my arms from the feeling of our cold home and feeling slightly defeated as I knew there was no way out of this.
"Not when it comes to things like this." He raised his eyebrows at me and it was hard to decipher if he was in the joking mood or not. I sighed once and the feeling of guilt settled back in my stomach.
"I don't think this is a good idea." I blurted out. Luke looked taken back by my words, more surprised than offended. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and felt more timid as the seconds passed by.
"So, this," He had put emphasis on the word this, since we actually didn't have a title for what 'this' was. "Was meaningless?" He choked out the word in a subtle way which sounded more painful than if it was put to the whole use.
"It wasn't meaningless." I shook my head at him while looking for any type of emotion in him. I knew that he couldn't keep it all collected for this long.
"Then why isn't it a good idea?" He let out a short laugh as if what I was trying to explain was a joke.
"I'm afraid of-"
"You're afraid?" He interrupted. He raised an eyebrow at me as his arms folded across his chest. I let my mouth fall open as I searched for the right thing so say.
"Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen." My voice fell quiet from a mix of my own embarrassment and worry. I stared down at the ground and stepped on the toes of my own shoes from feeling nervous.
"What's the worst that could happen?" His voice raised slightly, then came back down once he saw my state. I let my arms drop and hit the side of my legs. I looked anywhere but at him, which he did the exact opposite.
"You get kicked out of here, you end up hating me, you-" I spoke louder as I began listing things, then stopped once he cut me off.
"Stop worrying about me then." He whispered. I stayed silent as the agitated look in his eyes grew. "Tell me something, Autumn. Did the past few weeks mean anything to you?" I stared right up at him and more through him than anything. He knew that I didn't want to just give this up as he didn't either.
"Of course they did." I lightly shook my head at him, wondering how he could even have the thought spill from his mouth.
"The why are you acting like this?" He let out yet another soft laugh between his words, throwing his arms up in frustration.
"I don't want either of us to get hurt." I told him quietly, nearly in a whisper. He looked between my eyes as the silence filled the room once again. He ran a hand through his hair, blowing air through his parted lips.
"Did you only give in to me because you really wanted this or because you felt lonely after Ellis?" He asked. I felt myself be physically taken back from his question as my mouth fell slightly open in search for an answer as I looked away from him. I knew that I wanted something with him at the time yet at the same time I ran to him for comfort after Ellis so either way I couldn't give him a straight forward answer. I peered back up at him only to find him with glassy eyes and pursed lips. He shook his head with a smile then backed away from me.
"I'm heading down to Ashton's." He mumbled as he walked backwards to the door.
"Luke, wait." My voice broke, stepping forward just as the front door had slammed shut.
-
A/N:
sorry for any spelling errors in the last half i typed this up a bit too fast, but AUTUMN WHAT R U DOING GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
thanks if you're reading i broke 100K reads a few days ago so thank you again :-)