Chapter vingt quarte -Iris flowers-
The next morning, I drifted into awareness at the sound of whispering. I rolled over to move closer to Sebastian but I was met with a pillow and a cold patch of the bed. Realizing it was just me, I pulled the pillow against my chest and attempted to slip back into sleep. I was just dozing off again when I heard creaky footsteps and soft whispers enter the room.
"...I don't think she will. Are you okay with this?" Sebastian said quietly.
"Why would I care? As long as he stays in your room and doesn't take too many breakfast puffs in the morning," Noel said with a chuckle. I heard the squeak of the floorboards, when he spoke again his voice was delicate, like he was trying to watch his step. "Are you in love?" There was a pause. "That feeling...can it feel the same?"
"Your mom told you the flower shop story right?" I heard Sebastian sigh, deep and long. "The first time I loved someone, It did not happen like that. It was fucking in public bathrooms to avoid his parents, acting like we didn't know each other at school. What I have with Cameron isn't like that. Even though we had a rocky start, was not his fault, it was his mother in his head. When I'm with him things make sense..." He trailed off.
That was the last thing I heard before I drifted off again.
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"Hey," Came Sebastian's voice in my ear. "Good morning."
"Hey," His morning voice vibrated through my body. "We should do something today,"
"What's there to do?" I said sleepily, pulling my body up to lean against the headboard with him. The sun peeked through the curtains beside us, peachy rays calling us to greet them.
"We could go out or...not." He poked my exposed skin and I flicked him. He flashed me a sheepish grin. "I think there is a carnival going on? We could go to that."
"Be that as it may, I don't have any more clean clothes," I said.
"Well we can go buy you some. You are probably going to need clothes if you live here, that is optional though," He said with a laugh.
"Don't make me flick you again." I said even though my face was probably beet red. "Instead of buying more I should probably just get mine from my-- I mean mom's house." I felt a pang of sadness but I pushed it down.
I glanced over at Sebastian, a small crinkle had formed between his bushy brows. "Are you sure that's the best idea?"
I shook my head. "Probably not but I know when she works and I'd rather sneak in and steal a few of my own outfits instead of buying more clothes when I don't have to." I chewed on my bottom lip. I could probably get away with this.
"How would you even get in?"
"Spare key... what time is it?"
He fished his phone out of his shorts. "It is...four thirty." He said.
"Alright we've got a half hour. Can we go now?" I said hopefully.
"Cameron...I don't know if this is the best idea." He said, that little spot between his brows deepening.
"You're getting that little line again. Keep making that face and it'll stay like that," I said before stretching up to kiss the small indentation. He laughed and pulled me into his lap.
"Good point. I am serious though, I do not want anything to happen to you. Why can't we just stay here and kiss instead, huh?" He gave me a quick smooch before bursting out laughing. "You have awful morning breath!"
I smacked him lightly, but I felt myself grinning. "That's usually what happens when you kiss someone when they've just woken up, dummy!'
"I can kiss you other places though." His eyes, which looked a deviant blue today, flashed with mischief. He pressed a soft kiss to my neck. Then to my collarbone. And back up to my cheek.
"You're being very inappropriate Sebby-Bear." I said which made him laugh. Listening to him laugh made my heart melt like wax, the sound was so rich. "As much as you try to kiss me, its not gonna stop me from making you drive me to my house."
"And how are you gonna do that, hm?" He wrapped his arms around me tighter.
"That's really tempting, but I'm gonna have to turn you down. When we get back I'll kiss you then."
He scoffed at me. "You'll kiss me regardless."
"So you think. Willing to risk it?" I said before twisting out of his lap. He groaned and I grinned at him. "I'm gonna go brush my teeth. When I come back you better have those keys." I said wagging my finger. When I left to go to the bathroom I heard Sebastian's feet plodding out of the room and down the stairs. I felt myself smiling which made listerine dribble down my shirt. It didn't matter. I felt like my chest was full of helium; I could just float away.
After I freshened up a little bit, I stole a pair of Sebastian's cushy slippers and made my way downstairs. Just as I suspected he was standing in the doorway twirling his keys in his hand. I stopped in my tracks and for a minute I was entranced. He was just wearing gray sweatpants and a black shirt, his hair still messy from the bed. Suddenly I felt like I could see it all in my minds eye. Sebastian leaning in the same way against the doorframe, maybe a little chub around his middle and thinning hair but still gorgeous as ever; waiting to take our kids to school.
"Cameron? You ready?" The sound of his voice snapped me out of my daydream.
"Yes!" I choked scrambling down the stairs. I still felt breathless from the trip I had taken in my head. I didn't have time to worry about that right now, so I filed it away for later.
He made an affirming noise. "I'll start the chariot." I followed him out the door and we both hopped in the car. When we pulled out of his neighborhood, he turned to me and said, "Are you sure you want to do this? We can turn around right now." He said glancing at me.
I shook my head. "I just want my clothes, it's better I get them before she changes the locks." I said quietly. "She had one serious boyfriend before Keith and she changed the locks the day after he left. I'm surprised she wasn't on the phone with the locksmith as she was kicking me out honestly." I said with a mirthless laugh. Sebastian nodded grimy in response.
We were quiet the rest of the drive over. When we pulled up to my house, he parked then turned to me. "I'll be waiting." He leaned across the console and pressed his soft lips to my forehead. "I miss your hats but it's nice to be able to do this too." He said before waving me off.
My mom's car neither her boyfriend's was in the drive way. Just to be safe I snuck around to the back of the house where the potted cactus was. I was slid the heavy ceramic bowl over and to my delight the key was still there. I would just have to hope she hadn't already changed the locks. Once I unlocked the door, I braced myself, feeling like she would be right around the corner but I was met with nothing but silence. I closed the door behind me and took in my home. The magazines were still in a neat stack on the table, the pictures of me and my mother on the wall, and the cross still hung above the fireplace. It was still my house.
I pushed down the burning anxiety I felt in my chest; I decided I better get on grabbing some clothes. I got some trash bags from the kitchen and I made my my way up the stairs. I expected my room to be emptied when I walked in, but it wasn't. My bed was still made with the laptop on top of it. My shoes were by the door and my closet was slightly ajar. I pushed it open and started stuffing my bag with clothes. When that bag was full I made my way over to my bed and pulled open one of the drawers. I was met with my beanies. I put my favorites in the bag. Once I cleared a space I realized something was in there. It was a teddy bear with a torn off ear. I heard myself choke. I had forgotten all about Bernard. I checked his tummy and reread the inscription even though I already knew what it said.
I'll always love you,
It's just me and you
You and me
You're my family
Love, mommy
I felt my throat closing up. She had given me that when I was a kid. I used to sleep with it every night, the ear had gotten torn off during a fight because I wouldn't give it to her to wash. She got the message inscribed as an apology.
I hugged him to my body. The bear still smelled the same, like my mom and comfort. I stuck him in my bag and stood up. I turned out my room and shut the door behind me. As I turned to leave my room one of the floorboards squeaked simultaneously as the door shut downstairs. I froze, ice water shooting in my veins.
I wanted to run but I knew I wouldn't make it past her. I heard her heels click angrily up the stairs and I dropped my bag of clothes so I could at least try to defend myself if need be. When she reached the top of the stairs I choked. She looked put together as usual, as if she hadn't kicked out her only kid the night before. My hands shook at my sides and I waiting for her to speak.
She didn't look me in the eye, she just shook her head. Then she took in a deep breath and belted,"Keith! He's back!" She turned and disappeared down the hallway to her room.
All at once, the animalistic need to run gripped me tight around the middle, hard and fast. I grabbed my trash bag full of clothes and sprinted down the stairs. I yanked the front door open, adrenaline pumping through my veins. Sebastian's car was in sight across the street. I was about to leap off the porch, then suddenly I felt a body slam into mine, bone on bone. My forehead collided against the metal railing with a twang.
I barely had time to process the pain radiating through my being before I felt a grip at my shirt, pulling me upright. I blinked heavily. Keith was standing above me his dark eyes scattered and full of rage. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears thump-thump-thump-thump. "You should be ashamed of yourself you disgusting disgrace of a man!" He shouted. He was so close I could feel the spittle hit my nose.
I scooted away from him, dragging my body across the splintery wood. "I think that's the most educated thing I've ever heard you say." My adrenaline spiked as his face went from a deep red, to nearly purple. I scrambled away from him, somehow finding my footing. The sun glinted in my eyes and I tried to run in the direction of the car, but an arm snaked around my middle squeezing me tight like a vise. "I don't think so!" He dragged me off the porch and I flailed my legs trying to get free.
He dumped me on the still-wet grass, towering over me. "You think you're so fucking smart, you always have. How smart do you feel now?" Pop his fist slammed into my face. My cheek was pounding in time with my heart and I barely had time to register the pain as his knuckles crunched against my face, then again, and again, and again...
I was drifting off though I was aching. My body twisted and turned through space. His boot stomped against my ribs, then my stomach. It burned too much to even try to cover my underbelly. The stars collided against my soft tissue and meteorites whizzed passed my ears. I felt my tether splintering, maybe this was it.
All at once, I felt myself be yanked back to the ground. In the distance I heard Sebastian's voice. When had he got here? I couldn't focus on what he was saying but I could hear the note of panic in his voice. I tried to tell him not to worry but I wasn't sure if my mouth was working or not. I wanted to talk but it was easier to let the black dots wash over me.
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[Sebastian]
I was enraged and terrified. My hands were shaking so hard I couldn't tell which topped which. Keith was standing a few feet away, breathing hard still seeming surprised I had pulled him off Cameron. "It's you isn't it?" He said lumbering forward. He was a little shorter than me but he was beefier, I wanted to sock him but I was trying to keep it together. When I didn't respond he took another step forward. "You're disgusting." I clenched my fist so hard I felt my nails digging into my skin. For a moment I was transported back to that night with Philipe and how his dad had looked when he caught us, the shock that radiated out of him, then the shock turned to white-hot anger. I remembered the vase breaking against Philipe's back and how it took days to get all the glass shards out of my feet.
Keep it together.
When I didn't say anything he growled in a low tone, "Nothing to say, faguette?" Something about the way he said those words got under my skin and the little composure I had scraped together was lost in that instant. I cocked my fist back and pounded it into his face. There was a hard crack and he made a guttural noise, haunching over. I turned away from him and bent down to where Cameron laid crumpled like a discarded wrapper on the dewy grass. I felt my heart drop into my stomach looking at him.
All I saw was blood. Blood dripping in a stream beneath his nose and above his eyebrow down over his swollen eye.
Behind us, Keith cupped his face and spluttered. I needed to leave because if he said something else, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop hitting him. I slid my arms behind Cameron's lolling head and beneath his limp legs, carefully lifting him. I walked to the car as fast as I could without jostling him. When we were both safely in the car, the heat started to fade from my edges. "Cameron?" My voice wobbled on it's feet. When silence greeted me I tapped his hand. Once, then twice. His eye that wasn't swollen shut fluttered open. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I shook him lightly and he groaned. "I'm sorry but you have to try and stay awake until we get to the hospital."
He mumbled something unintelligible. He sounded like he was talking around rocks.
"Sorry." I said again as I pulled out of the driveway. "I'm so fucking sorry."
I sped down the street and trying to focus on the GPS direction while trying to keep Cameron awake. "I'm going to tell you a story. It's a love story, those are always good. My grandad stumbled into the florist shop in the city. My grandmother was working there at the time. He said he needed the proper flowers for La Toussaint... All Saints day but all the flower shops he had been to were out of chysanthums. She said 'We're out too, but somehow I do not think your relatives will mind if you give them iris flowers instead what they symbolize is fitting.' and he asked her what they meant. She told him he'd have to buy the flowers first. So he did, and he asked her again and she said 'they are the embodiment of a rainbow, a bridge from earth to heaven to allow the spirt to cross. I think that's just for women but don't tell your family.' He started hanging out in the shop, buying flowers so she'd explain things to him." I took a breath as the robotic voice nudged me across lanes.
"One day he came to the store in a suit and he bought a bouquet with all the flowers they had talked about. He asked her to dinner and she said no," The sun was shinning bright in my eyes, which felt a little contradictory all things considered. But that was how the world worked, bad things and good things existing, looping around each other. I laughed a little bit even though my fingers were still digging into the leather of the steering wheel. "She said the flowers had so many different meanings all together, it must mean he wasn't sure about her. So he picked out all the flowers except from lilies, tulips, and sunflowers. My grandmother wasn't a roses kind of woman. He took her to dinner, he proposed in the same place a month later. She said no several times." I moved to the other side of the car, trying to maneuver him out of the car as painlessly as possible.
I cradled his head to my chest. "They got married, and she wanted to own a flower shop, so she saved up years working hard. My grandad spent most of his time in the bar while her finger tips lost sensation. But he held her until her last breath on her death bed. My father spent years with my mother before they married, he didn't want to rush into it like his father. I don't....I don't know what I'm saying but, my point is I love you." I whispered as the nurses carted him off to a room without me.
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Hey guys, sorry I'm posting so late but like I have a valid reason. I go to an arts school now, and it's super rigorous and I've learned so much! Since I've learned so many new things, I've realized how desperately I need to revise this story lmao! I don't know when it'll happen but I need to change some plot aspects. That being said I really have no clue when I'll be updating. Most of my class days are pretty long, but I'll see if I can try to be more consistent?? Also I hope this doesn't suck??? As always I love you all, thanks for putting up with me, I can't believe I have 80k wow!