Warmth.
It was such a nice warmth. I mean, really nice. I wanted to curl closer, get lost in the nice scent of it, to dig into my muscled pillow.
Oh god no.
When I opened my eyes, horror pulsed through me like adrenaline. My head was tucked under Nick's chin, one of his arms was loosely draped around me. I could see the angle of his collar both, the collar of his shirt pulling down slightly to show the soft, gently tanned skin. This was far from okay. My fingers dug themselves into his side.
He jumped, almost sending me back and off the bed. As he regained his composer, his raked his fingers back through his hair. His voice was cold as he snapped, " Angel, for fuck's sake, stop waking me up like I'm a worthless piece of...." He stopped yelling, and starred at me for a second. It was like he had caught himself doing something he hadn't meant to. Without a word, he stood, pulling off his shirt and tugging on a McCarthur's Park shirt, one that had a cake with green icing melting off of it in the rain. Without any warning to me, he started pulling down his pants, revealing a bit of his black boxer-briefs. I squeaked, and turned around, my skin flushing a few shades of red.
When I dared to peak back at him, Nick was watching me with a raised brow and a new pair of jeans on. Tugging on his boots, he left the bedroom and started breakfast. I shut the door, changing into white and blue striped shorts and a tank top that said DARE. Tugging on my converse, I opened the door and leaned in the doorway. I was quiet for a minute, unsure exactly what to say, before mumbling, " I'm sorry."
He looked at me, eyebrow raised, " for what?" He asked, his tone now returned to the annoying, rich, simple tone he normally used. And it sounded so damn innocent.
" for waking you up like a bitch." I replied, the words rolling smoothly off my tongue, caressing the air with an ease I was actually very well aware that I posessed.
He flashed a crooked grin, " It's fine, Angel. sorry I snapped at you." His tone was so light as he adjusted hims beanie, " there's days where i'm not a morning person."
Priceless, just a few days ago he was completely okay with waking me up at six in the morning, and sneaking into my own household. Not that it mattered. I nodded, and sighed, asking, " what's for breakfast?"
I reached up on my toes, practically leaning against him as I tried to see what he was cooking, looking over his shoulder. Why was he tall, and why was a little below average height? His lopsided smile touched his lips, and he said, " getting a little close, aren't we Angel?"
I flipped him the bird and jabbed his side again, making him jerk to the left. I earned a quick glare from him before he slid back into his relaxed persona.
" Nothing." He said, with a whistle, sliding back over to where he was making pancakes. He handed me a plate and sat two pancakes sprinkled with chocolate chips on top of the dish. I watched wide eyed. He chuckled, and asked, " would you like chocolate syrup on them?"
I looked up at him like he was the lord of all lords. I nodded slowly, looking down at my pancakes as he chuckled, and drizzled a small amount over them, swirling it just for kicks. I licked my lips, barely hearing him as he said, " can't have to getting too fat."
" Shut up." I shot, quickly. Then I asked, " who taught you how to cook.
" Myself." He said, simply, making a set of pancakes for himself, " and no seconds today Angel. Like I said, no fat for you."
I shot him the glare of death, but today it wasn't as strong, and started eating. Honestly, the plate I had now was filling me up quicker than expected. He took my plate when I finished, and rinsed both dishes off in the sink. He headed over to the drivers seat and startled the engine, " on to day three. You ready, Angel?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The scenery was a never ending film reel of beauty. I couldn't get enough of it. Pulling out my phone, I took a picture. I'd be instagraming that later. well, Probably not, but sometimes, thinking like a traditional white girl was satifying. the trees that passed us were wonderful, topped off with the occassional stetch of green prarie, dotted with little pink, blue and purple flowers.
I don't know how long we were driving before Nick pulled over and looked long and hard at map. I looked at him for a minute, before asking, " what's wrong?"
He swallowed hard, and offered an innocent smile, " We might be lost."
I've never wanted to stab him multiple times before. Maybe I had wanted to stab him once or twice, but thinking about stabbing him thirty-seven times was not healthy. I twisted in the passenger seat, and tore the map from him. Smoothing it out in front of me, I demanded, " where are we now?"
He pointed at a place on the map, and followed the road as he spoke, " We were here, but then I was suppose to turn here." His finger moved to the off ramp he was suppose to take. Then it backtracked, and followed the main road again, " But I couldn't see any signs, so I missed it. And took the wrong off ramp. which lands up here." He stopped at a place on the map, " and it means I need to redraw our rout to get us back on track."
I groaned, " Arson."
" It's not a big deal, I'm just gonna trace another route to the one we were originally one. simple." He took the map and look at the different interwining roads and paths. A triumphant smile touched his lips, and he put the map away, " alright, I know where we're going." Then he grinned at me, " told you it was easy."
" uh huh." I rolled my eyes, and looked out the window again.
We got back on the road. I watched out the window as we went, a bored expression on my face. Nothing came on the radio, and if I was being honest, I was glad nothing did. Nick was annoying me to the point of no return today, and he couldn't do anything in his own favor. We were about an hour into driving when he stopped again. He softly muttered curses to himself under his breath, leaning on the wheel.
Jesus no.
I raised my brows at him, " what are you doing?"
" it is not my day today."
" Arson."
" we're almost out of gas, Angel. And I don't know where the nearest gas station is."
My temper spiked up past my control level, " really Arson! We get all the way out here and you couldn't even think to fill up the tank!"
" Angel, it's fine, we'll-" He started.
but I cut him off, " No! it's not fine Arson, my grandmother is dying and i'm doing everything I can to get out there and bring her home in time! for god's sake, I even let you drive me because I'm that desperate! and you forget gas! First we're lost, and now we're left with no way to even move!"
" Give me a break Angel! i've been bending over backwards to get you to your grandma, a woman I hope is pretty fucking wonderful! So just put a god damn cork in it and let me figure it out!"
I stared at him, stunned, before shaking my head and turning to the window.
Grumbling a string of profanities, I couldn't sit still in my seat. I sighed, and stood, weaving my way to the back of the van. Turning into the bathroom, I stripped off my clothes and turned on the shower. I stepped in, my skin practically dancing at the warm water. It wasn't a warmth that I woke up to though. That thought angered me even more, and quickly scrubbed my fingers through my hair. I dont' know how the water worked in the van, or how a shower got in here. Finally, I just let my shoulders slump and my breathing go hollow. I didn't know if the appliances used any of the gas, or wasted any of the power that could get us even a fraction of the way closer. I couldn't believe he could forget something we need, a lot, but at the same time, he had a point. He was doing a lot to get me across country and I still didn't know why.
Why was he even helping?
I sighed, and sat down on the floor of the shower, pulling thighs to my stomach and resting my head on my knees. My salty tears mixed with the water from the faucet, and all I could think was how much I needed to get to my grandmother.
I needed to pull myself together.
Dragging my hands down my face, I finished washing and turned off the shower. Then, I wrapped myself in a towel, moved to our room, and got dressed. After I walked out, I sat down and said, " i'm sorry."
He turned to looked at my briefly. I continued, " I shouldn't have spat at you like that.... I'm just stressed right now. There's no reason for me to take it out on you."
" It's fine, Angel." He replied, his tone a bit softer than usual, " we'll figure it out. and I'll get you to your grand mother. I promise."
I smiled slightly, " thank you."
something about his expression lit up faintly, but he didn't say anything, just watched the road.
After a moment of silence, I snapped, " we should call someone."
" We don't have any numbers." He replied.
" 911."
" I think they'd be a little pissed two 'kids' called them because they were lacking gas."
He had a point, but it was still there job to help us. Nick stood, killing the engine, " how about we take a break, make a fire or something and roast marshmellows. We'll look for gas around the van, and if we can't find any, we'll call the cops."
Figuring this out on our own would be a lot more satisfying than having to call for help. I gave a nod, " deal."
He used the little gas we had left, and parked the car near the forest. we both went out an grathered a bunch of twigs and branches on the edge of the treeline, then set them up to make a fire. Nicholas pulled something silver and rectangular out of his pocket. When he flicked it open, I saw a flame. Lighting one edge of the stick, the small thing caught only a hint of the fire. It didn't combust into a flurry of epicness like I had hoped. I rolled my eyes, " wow, that's going to do much."
He winked, but I was right. The small flame slowly ate at the wood, peeling the bark back. It took time, but eventually, after lighting enough corners, he created a unique looking fire. It did the job. I sat cross legged on the ground, after putting a blanket down underneath me. Nicholas took a seat next to me. Opening a pack of marshmellows, I handed him one. We put them at the end of metal tongs and spun them slowly over the fire. Silently, we both created smores and nibbled at them.
I asked, " You don't smoke, do you?"
He looked at me like I was crazy, " No, why?"
" The lighter."
" oh." He looked down at it, and rolled it in his fingers on his left hand. His right had was busy being sticky with marshmellow and graham cracker bits, " it was my grandfather's. Plus, I figured we'd need a fire at some point." He met my gaze and smiled, rather charmingly, i'm sad to admit, " I told you i'm always prepared."
" Right, I guess I forgot." I rolled my eyes, and didn't make a move to say anything more.
It left us in a quiet that seemed to settle for a long time.
Finally, he broke the silence, " What's wrong with your grandma?"
I shrugged, " She's just old i guess. No one ever actually told me. she just called up and said she needed to get out of California, that she wasn't feeling well and she wanted to be placed in a home closer to my house."
" I wondered why she wanted to leave," He mumbled, hints of the fire light playing off his eyes. He watched it, sort of like he was mesmerized by the flames. When I looked closer, I could see he was just deep in thought.
" who knows." I nibbled bits of marshmellow off the tips of my fingers.
Nicholas left me at the fire while he searched for gas. laying down on the blanket, I let the sweet warmth of the now full sized camp fire wash over me. I looked up to see a faint layer of stars. A small smile eased onto my lips, before I closed my eyes.
I could hear Nick shifting around the van in the distance, looking for gas I really, really hoped existed. It would be really nice to get to my grandma.
Slowly, I drifted off to yet another dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Angel, get up." His tone was rich, soothing, in a way.
The heat of his hand on my shoulder was welcome. the fire had died, leaving the cool night hair to blanket around me. He shook me gently, " Angel."
" What?" I groaned, voice hoarse and soft with sleep. I snuggled deeper into the blanket, trying to move towards and away from the warmth of his hand all at once.
" Angel come on."
" no." I said, stubbornly, unable to put any force behind my tone.
I heard a sigh, " I found gas."
" good." I said, already drifting back to sleep. My voice was lazy, fading off at the end as I walked on that line of conscious to dead asleep.
I could hear a more distant sigh. Then, a pair of warm arms eased their way under me, liftin gme up bridal style, craddling me against a warm chest. My head naturally rested itself on Nick's shoulder, while he carried me up the steps of the van and to the back of the van. Once on our room, He gently layed me down on my side.
He pulled the covers up over me gently, whispering something I couldn't put into words in my sleepy state. I didn't think to much of it, as I drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours later, I could feel Nick fall into the bed next to me. Opening one eye, I saw him in a white tank top and grey sweats. Throwing his beanie onto his boots, he laid on his back, his eyes closed, his head tilted down to his left slightly. One hand was up closer to his head, the other was rested on his stomach. His right knee was bent at a 140 ish degree angle, the other one straight.
I watched him for a minute, before I had to fall asleep too.