Just letting y'all know this chapter will be long because this is where everything comes together ... or should I say apart.
Abel's P.O.V
"So you really fucked her huh?"
The raspy voice made myself sigh. I looked up, two tired eyes staring back at my irritated ones. Her smirk transformed into a kool-aid smile when I didn't answer. The look on my face told it all. It amused her to see me like this. Hurt. In pain. To feel what she felt before with me made her happy. And I wouldn't blame her.
"She told you to go. Leave. Scatter. It's what you do best, so why aren't you doing it?"
"If that's the case, you should be gone too. You're the one who ran to L.A."
"And I'm doing better than ever. You ran away and you're still doing the same shit you said you wouldn't do."
"You don't know shit about me Valerie..."
"I don't know anything about you Abel Makkonen Tesfaye? I don't know about your habits? Your needs? Your urges? Who provided you with "your boys"? Who knew about your father leaving you and your mother practically for dead and then worked every fucking day to help support her and your music? Who prevented you from killing yourself and helped you during your depression? Last time I checked it was I, Valerie Smith. Not even your girlfriend or should I say, current lover, could say she did that. So please check yourself before you end up wrecking yourself and your lover."
I stepped up to her, my hands almost around her throat. All she did was start laughing, the smell of cigarette on her breath. She placed my hands on my side.
"Are you gonna hurt me Abel? Are you gonna leave a mark like you did last time?"
I shushed her so she could lower her voice. Valerie pulled down her shirt so the scar could show. I wanted to say something but couldn't find any words to describe the anguish I was feeling.
She laughed and pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She took one, her third one in just an hour.
"Smoking extra packs huh?"
She sucked her teeth and continued to light up her cigarette. A nurse came by, the same one that told Val to stop smoking before, which Val paid no attention to.
"Ma'am I am not going to ask you again to --"
"You don't have to ask me again. Save your damn breath and leave me be. I'm leaving anyways."
She grabbed her purse, leaving a card with me.
"Give Amber this. I already know she's gonna try to contact me despite her knowing I don't want to talk about me."
Then she left the hospital. I shook my head. She still kept her emotions to herself. But who was I to judge? I kept my emotions to myself for more than 20 years. And it has done nothing but damage to me.
"Mr. Tesfaye, Amber will be undergoing surgery in a few minutes. It will take about two hours and if all goes well, she'll be able to go home tomorrow. I do suggest you to go home and get some rest since she'll be under anesthesia and then given sleeping pills to go through the night."
Ha. Rest. What was that?
"Alright thank you doctor. See you tomorrow."
I went on my way and towards my driver. I nodded and I got in, waiting for him to start the car. The dark clouds rolling in from the west represented my thoughts at the moment. I was hurting Amber. Her heart was being ripped to shreds and I was the one doing the shredding. I want to stop hurting her, want to stop her from running away from me. She runs away from me and all I would want to do is go after her.
Call me obsessed cause that's what I was.
Obsessed.
I've exposed my ways to her before. I was foolish to think I could actually stop my ways and keep them suppressed long enough to get the girl of my dreams, get married, and even have some kids.
Man was I high as fuck. Kids? Marriage? That wasn't me. It will never be me. Everyone knew that, I mean didn't my music prove that?
"We're here."
I thanked him, and went inside the hotel, the sound of thunder rumbling behind me. I went in the elevator, a young girl who looked to be about 18 staring me up and down. She was hot, I won't lie, but I couldn't give her the pleasure of showing my interest.
"You're The Weeknd right? "
"That is I."
She said nothing else afterwards. I was expecting her to ask me for an autograph so she could just go ahead and sell it on Ebay or something. Or ask me to sign her boob so she could show her friends. Even ask me to sing for her since we were the only two in the elevator. But she didn't. She kept herself looking forward.
"Belong to the World is a great song."
The elevator dinged and she was off. I stood there dumbfounded by what happened. She stares at me, compliments my new single, and just leaves. Was she shy? Afraid? I don't know. I was expecting ... more. Because I was used to more.
I got off the elevator on my floor and went to my hotel room, noticing it was open. Immediately I was on guard, slowly opening the door. The sound of someone eating a bag of chips and watching Ridiculousness and laughing got louder and louder the more I walked into the room. I looked in the mirror to see the same girl that was on the elevator.
The girl that got off two floors before me. The weird, quiet one.
What the fuck?
"Um excuse me? You gotta go and I really don't feel like calling security. I'll give you an autograph and a Trilogy CD and we can act like this never happened."
She started to laugh. "I really don't care for your autographs or your CD. I mean don't get me wrong you have a beautiful voice..." She looked up at me and smirked. "And a beautiful face. But I'm here to help you."
I scoffed.
"Help me? Help me how? You have exactly thirty seconds to tell me before I grab you up and escort you to security myself."
She got up, dusting off the crumbs on her shirt. She yawned and rolled her eyes. Her attitude reminded me too much of Val's.
"I know what went down a few months ago. I know because I was there."
I looked her straight in her eyes, trying to see if she was lying. But she wasn't.
"Alright you were there. Still not telling me how you could help me."
She laughed. "Are you really that slow? I was there. I know you want revenge. I know Amber wants revenge. And Lord knows I want revenge. We could work together."
I did want revenge. But if I was going to get it, I would get it alone. I couldn't have any random people just dropping in on one of my plans, especially people I can't trust as of yet.
"I'm happy you want to help, but I think I'll work with my crew. So go ahead and leave."
She smiled and then started to walk towards the door. "I had a feeling you would say that. If you need me ... well you know where to find me."
She left, slamming the door behind her. I went to the bedroom and laid out on it. My girlfriend ... ex-girlfriend ... my everything was in the hospital getting surgery right now. Val was out doing her, whatever that was. I have a strange girl asking to aid her in a revenge plot against Lauren, I'm guessing her master of some sort, who could possibly just be working with Lauren. I had too much shit on my mind and too much shit happening around me. I should've just stood in the hotel room and come up with some way to get out of this mess I was in.
But no. I did what I did best.
I left.
Instead of facing my problems head on, I left to the club and let my problems drown in hardcore alcohol and good ass weed for the meantime. I kept on getting texts from Lamar and Cash asking where I was but I ignored them. Even Val messaged me about my whereabouts but I wasn't having it. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb. I did not want to be bothered with anyone or anything.
I was drunk, laid out on the couch in the upper level of the club. A few girls surrounded me. The girl on my left was kissing my neck, while the other on the right was playing with my dreads. That's when gunshots started to go off. The two girls stood on my side, this time closer to me as if I was their protector. The rest scurried off like mice. The gunshots stopped but the sound of glass breaking and people screaming continued. I was too faded to move so I just stood where I was. I didn't care about these two girls on my side. I didn't care about what happened to me.
"Aren't you going to go?!" one of the girls screamed at me. I pushed her away. It was enough that whoever was sticking up the club was ruining my high, last thing I needed was some worthless girl all up in my hair. She scoffed and ran out. That's when I heard a gunshot go off. The other girl screamed loud and started to sob.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed at her. Every noise I heard was ten times louder than how it really sounded and I couldn't take the sobbing all up in my ear.
I looked up and saw this dark figure walking towards me. That dark figure pulled out a gun and pointed it at the middle of my forehead. This only made the girl sob even more.
All I could do was laugh.
The figure hit me up top the head with the gun, making my head pound. I felt where the pounding was coming from and felt some blood. This only made me laugh more.
"The fuck is so funny! He's gonna fucking kill us!" the girl screamed.
The dark figure pressed the gun against my forehead. I couldn't help but laugh even more. I was finally getting what I deserved. Death came in many forms and this was one of them.
Pop!
----------------
Val's P.O.V
I had no idea where this guy was but he was pissing me off.
He wasn't picking up his phone, wasn't answering his phone calls. Shit started to irk me.
I called again, only for it to go straight voicemail.
"Jacques where the fuck are you?! I've been waiting for like an hour for you to pick me up!"
I haven't seen him since yesterday after I told him to leave my room. The doctor specifically said that I cannot be stressed because of how fragile I am and you know what this fuckwad does? Stresses me out. He was doing the same shit he is now. Not answering my calls. Responding to my texts like one or two hours later.
I was ... I was scared. Scared that I was going to be hurt once again.
My phone finally rang. I see his name across the screen.
"Jacques what the fuck?! I called you two hours ago to remind you that I was coming out. I called you one hour ago to let you know I was out. I called you thirty minutes ago. I called you ten minutes ago. I called you two minutes ago. The fuck have you been?!?!"
No answer. Just heavy breathing. Immediately my stomach started to knot up.
"Jacques? ... Jacques are you good? B...Baby?"
Still no answer. More heavy breathing. I heard the sound of some glass moving around.
"Val you ain't gotta be scared anymore. I did it."
"Jacques you did what? WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"No more of that stupid bitch hurting you. No more of me hurting you. Ain't gotta worry."
"Hurt me? ... You're drunk, where are you?"
"Your house. Hurry my love, I'm missing you."
Then the phone hung up. I stared at my phone in confusion. My love? Yeah dude was definitely drunk.
•~•~•
"Jacques!! I'm here!! Where are you?!"
I heard the water running in the bathroom. My mind started to think miles per minute. Memories of me trying to drown myself came to my head once again. I couldn't help but think I lost the one person that actually loved my flaws, that actually loved me besides my constant warnings.
I ran to the bathroom to see a bubble bath running. I stood at the door confused.
"Valerie I want to apologize. I'm sorry for making you feel this way. For making you nervous every time you're around me. I want you to feel safe. I hired some people to go after that stupid bitch and she's no more."
I was speechless. Speechless because he hired someone to kill Lauren. But also speechless for his apology. It sounded sincere. It sounded genuine. But not only speechless. I was also confused. Confused because he took my nervousness as a bad thing when in actuality it was something I enjoyed.
"Jacques you don't have to apologize. I'm nervous around you because I'm scared to look into your eyes and fall in love. I'm scared to look at your lips and not want to kiss the living shits outta them. I'm nervous because I'm scared to love you. And I know I shouldn't be scared ... But I am. You deserve real love Jacques. And me? Well I deserve to be myself."
This lifestyle I was living? I started too young to give it up. I have gotten accustomed to this lonely life. And although I hate being lonely, I love being alone. I deal with the hate by smoking and drinking it away. I don't like it but I can't help how good it feels.
"Val ... Shut up."
I turned around to tell him off, but instead I was face to face with him. Well his lips facing my eyes. I kinda forgot how tall he was. I also forgot how good he smelled.
I tippy-toed and my lips touched his. I missed that so much ...
•~•~•
Amber's P.O.V:
The pain was excruciating. I honestly felt like my arm was going to fall off. Apparently the doctors gave me sleeping pills so I could get through the night easily, but sleeping pills only made me sleep for a maximum of three hours.
Now I was wide awake. Thoughts swirling around my head, trying to remember my life before Abel. I just finished my degree at the top of my class. I was caring for Val at her rehab ... That's all I remembered. I couldn't remember my life before Abel. I was unable to recollect any moments before I was in the elevator with him ... Damn it! Why did I say yes to his offer to go to the club? I should've said no ... No no ... I should've got rid of all contact with him after we had sex. Hell I should've left when he said Valerie's name during sex. From there I should've known to leave him. But my hardheaded ass didn't listen.
I couldn't listen to my gut. My gut told me there was no good in him. But I decided to try to search for some good in him. I kept searching for something that wasn't there. Or maybe something that did exist but maybe ... maybe I did something to make the good flee.
Regardless. I forgot the good things about him. Yet still can't recall a life before him. I let the memories slip away ... I let them slip ...
Remember Amber! You can do it, I know you can. Remember that life. Remember that better life.
"I CAN'T REMEMBER! I CAN'T REMEMBER DAMN IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I kept screaming until I couldn't scream anymore. My screaming was replaced with tears. Endless stream of tears. Then the screams started again. I wasn't saying anything, but just yelling.
Three doctors came in and tried to hold me down but I wouldn't let them. I wouldn't let them touch me. So they could infect me and try to control me? Not again. I won't allow it.
"Amber we need you to calm down. Please calm down!"
I constantly screamed no and started to kick at them. Although it hurt to move my arm, I didn't care. I wanted them away from me. I wanted them to let me be. Let me get through my stress in my unique way. Just because I'm screaming doesn't mean I need to calm down.
"Amber you are going to feel a slight pinch okay! I need you to stay still!"
Two more doctors came in and started to hold me down. My body started to shake uncontrollably, drool coming out my mouth. Then I felt the pinch on my left thigh.
Then? Darkness ... Just darkness.
******
Yes I did update! It took me sooooo long but I finally did it. Y'all don't understand how hard it was for me to write this. Trying to get the song incorporated in it without me just saying the well known line "it's pointless like tears in the rain", and also trying to get (almost) everyone's P.O.V on their situations? Yeah very hard. And writer's block was a pain. I had Tears In The Rain on repeat for a total of 3 HOURS. Yeah ... it was that bad.
I do hope you guys enjoy this update and do expect biweekly updates or weekly updates depending on what goes down in the book. For right now it's biweekly because ... well did you see what just happened?
Pleaseee familiarize yourself with the book again and I love ya XO fam.
*self promo* I do have a fanpage on instagram! @kotf.xo.twod :) I'll put the link in the comments. Thank you guys so much for sticking through!