~ Samantha ~
Hair gets lighter, skin gets darker. Water gets warmer, drink gets colder. Music gets louder, nights get longer. Life gets better because it is summer. The sun is shinning so bright and the sky is blue. It is a perfect time to spend at the beach.
There are so many things to do and adventures to try on summer, but here I am being killed by boredom.
If its not because of the threats im getting from people, I wouldn't be in this four crappy corners of my room, laying flat on my bed, taking a great interest on my white boring walls.
For all you know, I am beyond bored. I can't even go 10 meters away from our doorstep because of the paparazzi that are following me, which by the way creeps me to death. Let us not forget those glares im getting everywhere I go.
It hurts to realize that when im experiencing real happiness, everyone can't accept it and they just try to let things turn upside down.
I know im the kind of girl that dont wake up with a perfect hair.
Im that girl who eats big mac instead of salad.
Im that girl who prefer wearing sneakers instead of heels.
Im that girl who dont get everything they want.
Im that girl who isn't popular
Im that girl who dont get all the guys.
Yes, i am that girl, that girl is me, and im happy to be me.
If they cant acccept who this I am, then sorry because I am not changing into someone who is not the real me. Im happy with what and who I am, Im proud of those things that I can do, even if its just a little dirt compared to what they can. Most especially I love myself just the way I am.
The harder life is, the stronger I become. I just breathe and I know everything will be okay, even if in reality it will never be.
Getting lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even realize that I'm already drifting to dreamland.
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Waking up from my dream-- which is about lollipops, cotton candies, chocolate river, rainbow bridge, and flying unicorns. I went downstairs to fill my empty stomach. I notice a note in our fridge when I was sitting in one of our chairs and immediately got up to read it.
Sam,
Sweetie, if you havent realize yet, im not home. Im going somewhere and this is something important. I was going to tell you but I dis not want to wake you up. I will be back before 7 pm.
btw, Just cook your own dinner.
Love,
Mom
Setting the note down, I continued to finish my food. This past few days mom had been going out, and she always tells me that she have to do something important. I dont know what shes actually doing because she doesn't have a job anymore, but shes my mom and I trust her.
Putting the dishes in the sink, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Thank goodness my phone is working again. Typing my phones pass code, I got a text from Austin.
Austin: hey babe, what are you doing? I just want to remind you about our dinner with my mom tonight at 7. I'll pick you up at 6:45.
I totally forgot about the dinner, I guess im not going to cook my own food tonight anymore.
Me: Thanks for reminding me about the dinner babe, I almost forgot. Im thinking a lot of stuffs lately.
I hit the send button, and a few seconds later I got a reply
Austin: well what were you thinking lately? Is anything bothering you aside from the hates?
Here goes the over protective Austin again, but I like it, at least I know that he cares about me. But I dont want him to worry to much since I can handle everything just yet.
Me: it is nothing really
Austin: Just so you know I am always here if something is bothering you. But right now I have to prepare for dinner, i love you babe.
me: I love you too and see you later.
I glance at the clock, 5:50pm just enough time to make myself look presentable.
Running inside my room, I made my way into the bathroom and did my business.
After taking a shower, I went to my closet and pick the best clothes that I can find. I decided to wear a white lace dress that is above the knee and the sleeves stop at my elbows. I sit in front of my mirror and decided to wear a nice amount of make-up.
I am ready to go after doing my make-up and curling my hair. It is currently 6:35 pm and Austin will arrive any minute now. Carefully making my way downstairs, I heard my doorbell ring, signaling that Austin finally arrived.
After our hug and a small conversation, we hop in his red range rover and started the 20-minute drive to their house. The whole car ride is full of laughter and caching up. Im just so happy, that I can't even put into words. I love every second of it and I definitely want to stay like this forever. Me and him forever.
Well this is just the start of the night. I just hope everything will turn out great.
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Making our way into their doorstep, he intertwined our fingers making me look up into his face and give him a smile which he gladly returned. He opened the door and we stepped inside to be greeted by her lovely mom.
I know that her mom doesn't approve of me when we first met, but I don't bother telling this to Austin. I dont know why she does not like me so much. I didn't do anything for all I know. She thinks that im bad for Austin and that im ruining his image. But I am still hoping that in the end she'll going to accept me.
"Hi mom" Austin hugged her mom and kissed her cheek
"Hello ma'am" she diverted her attention to me and flashed me a smile. A fake one. And she hug me too.
Well you must be wondering why did she hug me? Austin doesn't know that her mom hates me. I dont have the courage to tell him because its his mom. I am afraid that if I tell him he will not belive me and I dont want that to happen.
"No need to call me ma'am, just call me Michele if you want" I nodded in response
"Okay mom, i'll just charge my phone upstairs" Austin excused himself and went up to his room.
"So, are you happy that you are with Austin now? How many times do I need to remind you that you are not right for him. He doesn't deserve a girl like you. You are nothing but a trash and I don't know and I don't understand what he saw in you. You'll just ruin his image and I don't want that to happen, you are just using him for fame and money. So I am telling you to stay away from him. He doesn't love you and he will get tired of you soon. Why not spare yourself the hurt and leave him before its too late"
Im not lying, those words hit me right on the chest. They hurt like hell. All my confidence and self esteem vanished and I think I just lost my dignity. My vision is going blurry because of the tears that are forming but I fought them back. The last thing that I want her to think of me is weak and pathetic.
"Hey guys what are you still doing here?" Austin came from upstairs and wrap his arm around my waist.
"We were just talking about something, nothing much. Right Sophia?"
"It Samantha mom and can we eat dinner now, Im starving" with that we went to the dinning table and eat
The dinner is full of conversations about Austin and his career, at some point theres laughter but im faking it, and thankfully Austin didnt notice it at all. His mom's statement came flooding back in my mind. I cant help but to think of it. What if Austin doesn't really care about me? what if he's toying me? what if he doesn't really love me? All these questions keep haunting me and it made me feel ten times worse.
"What are you thinking about?" Austin interrupted my thoughts. He is now driving me back home.
"Nothing" I said and look out the window so he won't see right through me. I know he is burning holes at the side of my head because I refuse to look at him.
"I know its not nothing" he sighed and im debating with myself whether to tell him or not
"Its just that, its been days since im not talking to my mom, I mean she is always going out and I dont know what shes up to. Its just bothering me lately." this is half true but I still lied. Ive been telling him lies lately. Its like our relationship is full of lies.
"Well, maybe shes just finding a job. Don't worry everything will be fine" Another lie. Everything will not going to be fine but I did not bother telling him that.
"Okay" I said
We finally arrived at my house. I opened the door but before I got out, Austin grabbed my waist and crashed his lips to mine. Our lips are moving in synch and full of passion. The butterflies are like dragons in my stomach and sparks are everywhere. At this moment, all my questions are finally answered. I know that he will never going to hurt me.
We broke our kiss but our foreheads are still touching. He kissed my nose one last time until I got out the car and walk up to our doorstep.
Closing my bedroom door, I put my bag on my bed and went to change to my pjs. Then I flopped to my bed, and turn off the light. My eyelids are getting heavier every second until my phone beeps signaling that I have a new message.
"I forgot to tell you that I love you and good night, babe " I smiled from ear to ear and type my reply
"Awe, I love you too babe and good night " I press send and I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face caused by the person I love the most. Despite all my problems, I am still lucky that I have Austin.
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Edited: 02/18/17