Hey, before we start, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to PeanutKay for the Fanfiction Awards 2017 for Volatile in the category of Best of the Undiscovered. It would mean a lot to me, if any of you really enjoyed Volatile, to head on over to thefanfictionawards and nominate me under the category Best of the Undiscovered for Volatile. Please enjoy this chapter, I really loved it.
Chapter 16
When I look up, all the Natives are gone. I'm still in their camp, and the ground seems to be spinning beneath me. There is no sun, but everything is clearly visible. Not even shadowed over, only tinted dark blue. As if I'm looking at the world underwater. The air hangs around me light and breezy, almost too clear. Like there is nothing in the space I'm in at all. It's cool without a breeze, and I for a second I think I can see my breath in the air.
A sharp sound erupts beside me, scratching against my ear like a knife on a plate. My hands rush on to my ear as I wince it pain.
The next thing I hear, is heavy breathing. It's not coming from me though, and I can feel the hot breath on my neck, wrapping its way down my ear. So I spin around looking for the source.
"Charlie!" A voice calls from far off where I can't see them. There is no way they were behind me.
I can't put my finger on who it belongs to; it's too shrill to understand. It sounds as if it's coming from deep within a tunnel, or from deep within the sea.
Moving towards the sound, the breathing gets louder. Walela's body is on the ground, and she's convulsing. Shaking from top to bottom, blood trailing down her chin and puddling on the ground.
This is part of the Fear Run. I know it isn't real. She's bleeding out though, and I can't breathe.
I kneel down next to her, letting my hands rest on her head. Walela's hair clings inside the cut from where the blood is pooling out of her head. It won't stop, not even when I put my hands on it.
I can hear myself choking, as I tremble like an earthquake.
"You," the word cracks open her mouth, sharp like a knife. "You did this."
I shake my head. "No. No I didn't."
Someone grabs me from behind, ripping me off her. I fall back on the ground, as I watch Inali cradles Walela. He slowly rocks her head in his hands, the blood mixing in all over his clothing.
Someone else shoves me back, and the Natives have returned, along with their anger.
I can't tell what is real and what is the Fear Run.
"You did this!" Inali shrieks, his face reddening. "Your magic killed her!"
I shake my head, as someone kicks me to the side on the ground. "No."
I'm not so sure I'm didn't, and the colour drains from Walela's skin as her blood drains from her body.
"I can save her." I tell him, pulling myself closer. "With my magic."
"It's done enough damage." He shrieks.
Someone pulls me up off the ground, before slamming me back down against it.
I couldn't have killed her. No way. I've killed people before using my magic, but that was at least a little bit intentional. I mean, I didn't know I was doing it, but I wanted to hurt them. They got what they deserved. I couldn't have done this to Walela.
The Natives disappear again, leaving Walela's body. Her corpse swims in her blood, and I don't know how to help her. I can't save her, there's no way I can. I'm helpless.
"Walela!" I screech. "No."
She's dead already, either from hitting the ground to whatever sick thing my hands did to her mind. Is this even real?
"Charlie!" The same voice keeps calling me in deeper, but I still couldn't put a name to it.
I turn around, running towards the voice. I can't escape Walela's corpse, but I don't know what else to do. I've got nothing else to do. Leaping over logs, tripping over fallen branches. There's no way to escape her; the blood that left her body has now stained my hands.
A chest collides with mine, and I skid along the ground into it, landing in the dirt. I rip my knife out of my cloak, aiming the point straight at the boy before me. Johnny.
My dagger just appeared. It wasn't there before. I chuck it aside, trying to avoid the magic that summoned it.
"Oh my God." He puts his hands around my head, before I shove him off.
"Don't touch me." My words are sour.
He rolls his eyes. "We've been looking for you. How'd you escape the Natives?"
Someone shouts far off, and just far off, I can hear them running after us. Their feet hit the ground, pounding forward. Johnny grabs hold of me and runs, and I don't protest.
We dart over roots and around bushes, trying to out run a dozen people, who know the land like the back of their hands. Their quick steps, and sheer numbers outweighing us. They're gaining.
Someone rips me away from Johnny, as someone else grabs a hold of him. My dagger is back in my hand, so I use it to slice the man who holds me. He backs up, as well as the group that encircles us.
I hold my knife up towards the Native that holds Johnny. It's Inali, and only suddenly did I realise it was him. I'm distracted, and my mind is rushing a mile a minute. I can't tell up from down.
"Do it." He dares me.
He tightens his grip against Johnny, holding his small knife at a point to the boy's neck. Piercing the skin, seconds away from plunging deep.
"Better yet, use magic." He spits. "That's the coward's way out."
"I'm no coward." I spit.
He cocks his head. "You've killed four people, three with magic. You killed Walela, when she was trying to protect you."
I didn't know what else to do, but my hands shake as I stand my ground. "I had no choice."
"You had a thousand choices." Tears rush down his face, mixing with the blood that comes down Johnny's neck. "You'd even choose to let him die, your friend."
"He's not my friend." I cry. I can taste the salt in my mouth.
"Isn't he?" Inali asks. "Your best friend is a serial killer, what does that say about you? You'd let him die, wouldn't you?"
"Shut up." I warn.
"How does that make you any better?"
"Shut up!" I screech, stamping my foot down.
The circle of men and women around us tumbles to the ground, though Inali, Johnny and I stay standing.
"Charlie please." Johnny begs.
I bring my hands up to my head, gripping my hair tightly into fists. I can't do this. My hair slices apart at the dagger, falling to the ground. I can't do this.
"Shut up!" I cry out
"Charlie!" The first voice shrieks out again.
Inali plunges the dagger deep into Johnny's neck, and I reach forward, too slow to catch up to him. Inali and the Natives disappear, as he tumbles to the ground.
My dagger sticks out of Johnny's throat. My hands are wrapped around in. As his heart beats, blood splashes out of the puncture wound and on to my hand. I let go, quickly backing up into a tree.
"Why?" His voice whistles out his throat.
I just did that. I just hallucinated Inali and killed Johnny. Oh my God. That wasn't real, that was the Fear Run.
There's no way I killed him.
His eyes gloss over, and I watch as his pants darken. He's losing control of his bladder. I've never seen this happen to someone before while they died, though I know it happens. Before I just wasn't looking for it.
I'm watching Johnny die.
He crumbles to the ground, rolling on to his side. Dirt smeared across his blood lips, the two meshing together.
I can't watch this.
"Johnny." My voice comes out in a whistle, as I kneel down beside him, placing my arms on his sides. "Johnny!"
I can't tell what is Walela's blood and what is his. Is it either of their blood? I can't tell what is real.
I scramble away from his body, as my own slams into the tree behind me. I can't do this. The breath escaping my raw throat is the only thing that rings out through the night. I'm powerless. I can't stop this from happening.
It has to be a hallucination.
If it is, then what's the point of waking out of it? What's the point of going on if I don't have my sanity? How will I know when this is over?
I wipe the tears off my face with my sleeve, and as I lower my hand I notice the dagger in it. I whip it away, throwing it against a tree, letting a sob rip its way through my body.
"Charlie."
Max.
I stagger up off the ground, dizzily running forward. I stumble, trying to catch up to the source of the voice without any luck. I'm too slow, too tired, too exhausted. There's so much happening right now, and I can't pick apart my reality.
When I arrive I'm too late.
It takes a while to register where we are. The trees all look the same around here, but I couldn't forget this memory if I tried. The ground is still dark from where Lyle's body once was, as if Neverland itself is stained by it.
Gregory lifts the bat, hitting it against the screaming boy beneath him. This time, it's not Lyle. It's Max.
I sprint forward, dagger in hand. I plunge it into Gregory before he can hit Max again. His body goes tumbling against the ground, and I let my dagger go with him.
I kneel down next to Max. His eyelids flutter, and for a second I think he's fine. Despite the big bump in his head.
"You're fine." I tell him, my tears dripping on to his face. "You're fine, you're fine!"
His eyelids flutter more quickly, and for a second I think he's about to dip into a seizure. "Charlotte it hurts."
"Now maybe," I tighten my fist as I bite down on my tongue. "But it'll be fine. You're fine Max. You're fine!"
He shakes his head, as his body starts twitching. "It hurts. Make it stop."
The dagger is in my hand again, and I feel his cold hand pressed softly against mine. He tries to pull the blade down but I easily rip my hands out of his.
I shake my head. "No Max, you're fine."
I can't do this.
His body begins to twitch more rapidly, as he begins to lift his head off the ground. "Please."
His voice is but a raspy whisper, and it's gone as he begins to shake. He's going to have a seizure again, and I can't do this. I can't rip his life away, real or not.
My head throbs, as I shake it, firmly shutting my eyes together. I can't kill Max. Gregory killed Lyle, not Max, I'm killing Max. Max is in pain, and he's dying, and Gregory's dead and I killed Samuel and Johnny killed Thomas and I can't help anyone and I can't stop the pain and the death, and all the suffering here on the island somehow leads back to me even if I don't want it to.
I slit the dagger into Max's throat, letting the blood rush out. Like Dominique did to himself and I did to Johnny and there's nothing I can do to help it.
Except run.
I get up, pushing off the ground, moving deeper and deeper into the forest. I don't know which direction is deeper, or even which direction our camp is in, or even if I've left the Natives. What is real?
"There you are." A voice rings out from behind me.
Peter. "Peter."
"No need to sound so desperate." He laughs, leaning back against a tree. "What's wrong?"
I feel my muscles tighten, as the hiccups take over me. I can't breathe, or at least, I can't remember how I'm supposed to do that.
I furrow my brow, as my voice cracks. "What's wrong?"
I can hear his fabric scratch against the bark, as he lifts himself forward. He puts a hand on my cheek and I knock it off.
"Don't be so boring." He rolls his eyes. "If I knew you'd be this bleak, I'd have found someone else more entertaining to bring here."
I don't have time for this. "The Natives are waging war. They drugged me, and I... I killed Johnny. And Max and Gregory."
"Now that's more entertaining," he cocks an eyebrow. "Don't know why you're so upset. I knew this would happen with a girl. You really are only as good as your looks."
"This is a hallucination." I state.
He grins. "How naïve. You thought you had value."
My head feels light, and sharp. It's a dizzy pain.
"Charlie!" A voice shrieks again.
I know who it belongs to. The little girl. I haven't seen her in so long.
She cannot be here.
Abandoning Pan, I sprint straight into the forest. Where is she? I couldn't find her even if I want to, I don't think. Where is she?
When I see the girl, her blonde hair flowing in the wind behind her, my breath stops in my lungs. Her soft pink pajamas are dirty from the dirt blowing against her, and tears stream down her face. Her feet are bare, her light pink toes revealed.
"Charlotte, where are we?" She asks softly, her voice cracking as she looks around.
She can't be here. It can't be real.
"Charlotte I'm cold." Water droplets sprinkle her cheeks like her freckles. Her eyes are red from crying. How long has she been crying?
"Brae it's okay." I tell her, reaching forward.
She leans back away from me. "You left me with him."
I shake my head back and forth. No I didn't. He was always so very kind to her. He loved her so much.
"No," I begin. "It's better home then here."
"With that monster?" She demands.
She's only 12.
"Brae, it's alright." I can't see her like this. "Everything will be fine."
"Why did you leave me there?" She asks. "How could you, for this place? How could you do that to me Charlotte?"
I can't stop crying now. I can't even keep myself standing. I let go, bringing myself to the ground. This is my fault, and I can't stop crying. I can't do it.
Brae screams, and when I stand, I see her fallen to the ground. Her hair is sprawled around her head, and her pale skin even paler. She's not breathing, I can see from here.
I lean backwards. I can't cry anymore. There's nothing I can do. I'm powerless to stop the destruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~
And in a quick snap she's broken. Whoops. Each of her fears sort of was a metaphor. Pan and Brae were more realistic than metaphorical, but the others weren't.
What do you think they represent? What are your biggest fears? Let me know in the comments below (you should also comment on The Fanfiction Awards 2017 ;) ).
For now, be brave, and I'll see you Saturday.