Walking the night with my head hanging low, it drizzled rain. There was no light amongst me, not even the moon to guide me through the streets of downtown. I rubbed my arms as the ice cold rain dropped onto my skin. Goose bumps began to come about and that only caused me to halt rubbing my arms and fold them tight to keep some type of warmth that I know wouldn't help much. As my body grew colder by the second; being deprived of control of self, my teeth chattered as my body periodically shook.
I gazed down at the broken street as streams formed against the curbs; streams of water pouring down the storm drains, the sound was enough to make you scream. I continued my path as the street began to get darker. I finally held my head up to only see pitch black beyond me, almost a blind sight. My eyes couldn't adjust to this new found darkness. I stopped in my tracks as I sluggishly turned my head to only see pitch black behind me. I rubbed my eyes hoping for adjustment but it wasn't there. Everything I once barely saw, wasn't in eyesight any longer. My heart began to beat faster once my feet began moving on their own. I wasn't in control of myself and I could only be frightened with what was happening to me. I inched closer until I was inside of the darkness, blinded from everything. I shut my eyes again longing that once I opened them I could see. I opened them to nothing. The rain began to pour down on me as the wind blew hard. I began to hear the barely audible sound of thunder sounding from a distant.
The devil was getting ready to beat his wife...
I continued to walk and with that, I heard the small rocks meeting with my tennis shoes. My hair stuck to my face as the rain continued to pierce at my skin. The thunder inched up towards me and before it could sound, lightening lit up my pitch black path. Countless lifeless bodies lying on the unfrequent broken sidewalks along the street. I covered my mouth as it suddenly went pitch black. My heart began to beat rapidly. The thunder crackled and finally let off a loud clap. Enough to make you have an anxiety attack. Paranoia was beyond me.
As my feet continued to lead my way through the darkness, silence fell upon me. I felt the rain as well as the wind but I could not hear a thing. In so many words I was deaf and I began to panic. I took both my index fingers and dug them into my ears and moved them in a fast motion to unclog my ears but the only sound I could hear was my pulse beating rapidly at my eardrums. I began a silent prayer as my feet began to drag which caused me to close my eyes shut and continue. I suddenly felt a heavy weight weakening my body. My chest heaved up and down as my breathing was getting heavier. With each breath my walking became slower. I continued to pray aloud although I couldn't hear myself...
"The light of God surrounds me, The love of God enfolds me, The power of God protects me, The presence of God watches over me, Wherever I am, God is, And where God is, all is well."
Just as finished my prayer, I opened my eyes and I could see the red and blue flashing strobe lights at the end of the once pitch black street. I blinked twice and I could now hear the raindrops angrily meeting the broken concrete. I walked towards the lights and it only seemed like the closer I got, the further I was pushed back. I fought the sluggish walking and tried my best to speed up my walking. As I made it to the lights, from a distant I saw a variety of squad cars in front of Sina's home. A familiar Crown Victoria car stood out and I saw A.j, Devin, Juan and Eric outside of the home being put into the back of the cars. I saw that the police used a battering ram to bust into his home because the doors were off the hinges. I stood there and gazed at the scene as the police officers came outside of his home carrying bags of drugs and firearms. My heart must've immediately dropped to the pit of my stomach once I saw a handcuffed Sina walk out of the home with my father guiding him.
Lightening lit up the entire scene as a thunderclap followed suite. I gazed at the 2 of them walk down the stairs of the porch and at an instant my heart began to break. Just as I was about to run towards them and try to stop my father, I couldn't help but hear a car from behind me peel off. I snapped my neck and gazed at the darkness which remained behind me. I couldn't see anything but I heard a car coming towards this way at a great speed. Once my eyes adjusted to what was happening right at this moment, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I turned around and tried to run towards the scene but something was holding me back. The more I ran, the further the house became. I let out a piercing scream and with that I heard several firearms let off. Deafening the surroundings for a brief moment before I heard screeching tires...
"No!", I screamed loud enough to pierce eardrums...
I broke loose from what was holding me back and ran towards a sight that caused me to have a panic attack. I saw wounded cops, shot up squad cars and shattered windows. I couldn't help but see A.j in the back of the police car throwing a fit and yelling out as the others, I did not see in the other back seats but I assumed the worst due to the shattered back windows. I heard my name being called as I ran up to a lifeless August. "August", I cried as I shook him. "August please", I said as I leaned down and hugged him. "Please don't leave me, p-please don't go. I-I need you", I cried as I crawled over to my lifeless father.
"Daddy please", I cried as I rested my head upon his chest. "Daddy don't do this to me", I cried as the rain began to lighten up. "You promised you wouldn't leave me", I cried as I felt my heart tearing apart.
I sat up and rested on my knees which sunk into the mud. I placed my face in my palms and cried my eyes out. My heart began to weaken and I continued to break down.
I then heard a car peel off...
"TAHARI WATCH OUT"....
I sat up quickly and turned my head and with that I saw the fire flash before me...
_______
Tahari
Kindred Hospital
3601 Coliseum St,
New Orleans, LA 70115
Room G- 31...
My eyes shot open as they focused on a rather familiar hospital room. I looked around to notice that I was in here alone. As I had gotten into my right mind, my heart went back to its normal pace and my breathing took heed and calmed down. I shut my eyes as the tears that were threatening to fall, finally slid down the sides of my face. I carefully took my hand which had IV needles jammed inside my veins and wiped away my warm tears.
Just as I was about to dwell upon what I dreamt, the door opened and in came nurse LaBranch. "Good afternoon Tahari", she greeted holding a pleasant smile. "I know you're still sore but did you at least sleep alright? You slept through the morning and I know that you can use all of the rest", she said as she checked my IVs.
"Good afternoon to you too and yes, I slept pretty good", I somewhat lied.
She nodded. "You slept through breakfast so I have to get something in your stomach soon.", she stated as she took a seat and began messing around with the monitor.
I shook my head. "I've heard terrible things about hospital food", I said as I rubbed my eyes.
She chuckled. "Well you have to eat something", she said as she stood to her feet.
I sighed. "Could you bring me a cup of crushed ice?", I queried.
She nodded as she checked my IVs once more."So I take it that you're serious about not wanting any of the food here", she said as she finished up.
"As a heart attack. Where's my mama, she around here somewhere or did she leave?", I queried as I grabbed the bed remote and lifted the back to give myself more support to sit up.
"Your father picked her up, she said she was going to shower and pack some clothes so she wouldn't have to go back and forth. She should be here shortly.
I nodded. "My best friend?", I queried.
"She told me to let you know that she'll be back in a bit. She had to take her mother to work", she continued.
I nodded. "Thank you nurse LaBranch", I said softly.
She nodded. "No problem Tahari. I'll be back with that ice and a few sugar cookies. I too understand your reasons for not wanting any of this food but for the most part, the sugar cookies here are very good. I slip some in my purse all the time", she said followed by a slight chuckle. "I'll be right back", she stated before making her exit.
My eyes roamed the bright room as a shot of depression struck me. With what happened to me crushing me deeply, I could only think about Sina. I need to know if he is alright, I need to know that he is in one piece. For all I know, he could've been locked up or could've been gunned down. I sat up more and my eyes roamed the room, hoping to spot my cell and luckily I did. It was resting on the counter of the sink.
I pulled my thin covers from my legs. I gazed down at my thigh which was wrapped snug in bandages. I furrowed my eyes as I fell into space as my mind drifted off to Sina's wound. Is he keeping it clean, is he taking the Motrin I left to him to ease any pain? I came back to my subtle reality and carefully moved my legs. I winced in pained as I did so. I let my feet hit the floor, making sure my weight stayed on my left side. I slowly limped to the sink. I was by now in excruciating pain. I relied on my left side as I slowly sat down on the floor. I couldn't take the pain, I just couldn't stand long.
A knock on the door sounded before slowly opening. It was Briana with "get well soon" balloons and what appeared to be a scrapbook. Once her eyes landed on me, she placed everything onto the counter before rushing over to me. "Oh my God", she said before she bent down and helped me back to the bed. She covered my legs before speaking. "Why were you on the floor Hari?", she queried.
I sighed. "I was trying to get my cell from over there but I'm hurting terribly, had to take a seat and hope for someone to help me out", I said softly. "What are you doing here, who told you?", I queried as my eyes followed her who volunteered to grab my cell.
She handed me my cell. "Well, Devin and I made up and he told me what happened this morning.", she continued as she took a seat on the bed. "Reality definitely hit me with that one.", she said as she began to tear up. "I'm glad that you made it through all of this", she said followed by a sigh. "I just couldn't imagine life without you", she continued as yet another knock sounded before the door slowly opened.
My nurse walked in with a large cup of ice and a plate of soft sugar cookies. She greeted Briana as she made her way over to me and handed me everything. I smiled. "Thank you", I said softly.
A small smile formed onto her lips before she spoke. "You're welcome. I'll be just out the door if you need anything. Just press call on the remote", she said and in response I nodded before she made an exit.
Bri gazed at me. "How are you feeling?", she queried.
"I'm sore. Very sore, I mean. I was informed that what happened to me could've taken my life but I put up a good fight because I'm still here", I said as she gave me her full attention. I sighed. "I am still a bit surprised that you're even here", I said.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why are you surprised? The back and forth and the bickering shouldn't ruin things", she said.
"Briana, be honest. You don't honestly think that what we've been through was bickering do you? We had our share of arguments in the past but lately you have been hot and cold with me. When you're not making me question our friendship, you're as sweet as pie for a moment but the few times you did get upset with me over minor things, you treated me like someone you never knew, like someone you never looked at as your sister. I was solely under the impression that you didn't much like me any longer, for, I don't know what reason. My reasons for hanging on to a sour friendship is because I genuinely love you. Been best friends with you for years, it's just hard to let that go although things are changing.", I said as I shrugged. "I mean, I remained true to our relationship, despite what anyone said. Despite what you've said to me too", I said softly. "Lately I've been getting the short end of the stick in every situation", I continued.
She sighed and before she could speak there was yet another knock on the door. "Come in", I said and with that in came a smiling Jade holding a bag.
Her smile faded a bit as she gazed at Briana. She walked over to me. "Hey Hari", she greeted as she leaned in and gave me a hug. "I went by Man Chu Food Store and got you a chicken plate with rice. Hear say, hospital food is nasty and unseasoned. All you get is the basic salt and pepper packets. No seasoned salt or lemon pepper", she said as she pulled away from the hug.
I smiled. "Thank you Jade, I was close to calling my mama and asking for some Popeyes", I said as she handed me the bag.
"No problem", she said still not acknowledging Briana's presence. "How are you feeling?", she continued.
"I'm feeling better than last night, I'll tell you that. I'm pretty sore but the meds are somewhat numbing the pain, well, to a certain extent", I said.
She nodded as she took a seat in the leather recliner chair beside my bed. Bri sighed as she gazed at me for a slight second. She gazed at Jade. "Jade", She started.
Jade gazed her way and furrowed her eyebrows. "You have nothing to say to me, you're here for Tahari.", she stated.
"Oh god", I said softly.
"I'm dead serious right now. To keep it one hunnid, I want to fight you.", Jade said.
Bri furrowed her eyebrows. "Jade listen-", she started but was quickly cut off.
Jade sat up straight. "No you listen, I've been biting my tongue lately but the last time I saw you was my last straw with you. I called you and left messages and the killer part about it was you saw my calls and you listened to the voicemails I left for you. Your head is so far up what is it, Devin? Your head was so far up Devin's ass that you forgot who you were and who Hari was to you. How do you get off by treating someone I care about and you supposedly care about like trash? You enjoy making her cry, using her and dissing her education or is it what Devin said, he said she was pretty right? Did that add on and make you feel some type of way or is it because the girl that no one supposedly checks for is getting all this attention from a known ass nigga?", she said in an indignant tone. "Briana, you've been smelling yourself a little too much and it'll be my pleasure to be that one to tell you about yourself. You're bogus for doing someone you call best friend that way. This girl bout loyal as hell. Tell me, what has she ever done to you? I don't want to know who said she's pretty, I don't want to know who's checking for her, I want you to tell me what Tahari has done to you?", she continued.
I sighed...
"That's why I'm holding myself accountable for my actions, shit I've said and everything. That's why I came here to apologize to her an-", Briana said as Jade cut her off.
Jade clasped her hands together and rested them in her lap."Briana be real, this is what, about the 10th apology you gave? When are you going to actually mean it? Tahari believe in second chances, damn near a rarity because once you cross me I don't fuck with you anymore. It just amazes me how you can do this sweet person like that. That shit bothers me", she said.
Briana sighed. "Look", she started as she would gaze back and forth between Jade and I. "Y'all may not be feeling me and I understand it. I can't make neither one of you believe nor accept my apology because-", she said as Jade interrupted.
"No, not me. Don't worry about me accepting anything. You mistreated Tahari, if you really came up here to give her an apology at least let it be real this time", she said.
Briana took her gaze away from Jade and gazed at me. "Tahari, I am being honest right now", Briana started. "I was getting big headed. I was getting attention from an older guy with a car, he was picking me up from school and I was feeling myself. I felt like I was actually cared for aside from my friends. I was feeling the male attention, I don't get any attention from home, my mother is always working and I don't have my father anymore. So I seeked it from him. Even if it's nothing real to him, I just imagined it was. I guess I was searching for love through sex and I took that and started treating you wrong. It's like I got so caught up in him I couldn't let nobody stop me from being about him and I lashed out at you. I didn't mean it Tahari, I was just-", she said as her voice began to crack. "I don't know why I let what I had going on mess up our relationship.", she said as tears began to stroll her face. "I've treated you like trash and look at you. You almost died, I feel terrible. I've done some messed up things and I need to fix them soon", she said as she leaned in and hugged me tight.
I hugged her back and closed my eyes shut as her audible sobs continued. "I love you so much Tahari, I am so sorry", she said a little above a whisper as she continued to cry.
I gently rubbed my hand up and down her back as she continued. Although I wasn't going to accept her apology, I did take in everything she said. She needs to learn self control. "I love you too", I said.
She broke the hug and gazed at me. "I understand if you don't want to accept my apology. I get it but I do mean it", she said as she wiped away her tears.
Jade watched closely but didn't say a word...
Briana gazed at Jade. "Jade, I apologize for how I've done Tahari", she said to Jade as she stood to her feet and made her way to the counter where the balloons and scrapbook was...
Jade never responded...
She walked over to me and set the sandbag of the balloons down on the small table beside me. I smiled as I gazed at them. She took a seat on my bed and placed the scrapbook on her lap. She wiped her eyes once more before speaking. "I was going through my closet, cleaning it out and I came across our scrapbook", she said followed by a faint smile. "All 3 of us were the best of friends",she said as she ran her fingers across the kindergarten decorations.
The conversation caught Jade's attention. "I remember the plays we used to be in, our sleepovers and just being outside in the yard riding bikes and so on. We were inseparable", she continued.
Jade pressed her lips together before speaking. "I remember when we had a Brandy stage. We were listening to her non stop. All day everyday", she stated.
I nodded as a soft smile crept upon my face. "Best friend was our favorite song by her. We would be at my house eating junk, playing in each other's hair, listening to that song on replay. Paddle brushes were our microphones", I said.
Briana took out her cell and went to her playlist. "I have it on my playlist", she said as she played it.
Just as she was about to open the scrapbook, Jade got up from her seat to look...
I smiled. "I remember this picture, we took this on our first day of 12th grade. We slept over Bri's house and we were so excited to be entering our final year of school", I said. "Our makeup was on point",I continued...
Jade smile suddenly faded as she gazed at the picture. She looked up at Bri and furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't know where you getting at with the lil show you putting on. The apology, the tears, the balloons and this tired ass scrapbook. Excuse me if I'm on my toes but I don't believe that the apology was as sincere as you tried to make it. I put nothing past nobody. Once someone fuck up they could possibly get the benefit of the doubt but anytime after that is on purpose. I feel that you treated her like you did on purpose. I'm keeping it real with you so if you thought that this little back down memory lane session would get our friendship back then you're sadly mistaken. I'm not even cool with how Hari may be leaning towards befriending you again but I can only respect what she decides. But I do know one thing, if you keep on, you know what's up", Jade said as she walked over to where she was sitting and took a seat on the leather recliner.
I gazed back and forth. Jade was now on her cell texting I'm assuming and Briana gazed at Jade with so much hate in her eyes. I literally felt uncomfortable at the sight. Just as I was about to speak, the door opened and in came my mother who had a displeased look upon her face once she spotted Briana. "Hello Mrs. Campbell", Briana greeted.
"Hey mama", Jade greeted.
"Hello", she greeted as she more so kept her gaze on Briana.
Briana stood to her feet and walked over to my other which caused both Jade and I to give our full attention. "Mrs. Campbell I wanted to apologize to you for everything. I'm sorry for dragging Tahari downtown with me, I shouldn't have done that. I know that it is dangerous", she stated softly.
"Briana, I accept that apology but if you want to know what I will not tolerate at my home nor around my daughter. I will not allow for a young woman who claims to be a friend of my daughter's to step foot into my home, let alone my property dressed in the manner you were when I saw you in those small clothes. I don't condone that, you are barely 17. I can't tell you how to dress because you're not my child but I can keep you from my home and my child. I know you're not what you are projecting to be. But that's not my only reason, I don't want you influencing her in such a way. It's dangerous in New Orleans, downtown especially. I don't want you taking her down there with some nappy head boys and I don't want you down there either. None of you girls. I'm not mad at you but if you want to come around, please don't dress like that when coming to my home, out of respect for yourself and others. Believe me, not everyone wants to see your bust nor butt cheeks.", she said followed by a sigh. "Come here", she said as she pulled Briana into a hug and from my peripheral I could see Jade rolling her eyes.
They broke the hug and my mother spoke. "Could y'all excuse Tahari and I for a moment", she queried.
"No problem", Jade said as she stood from her seat and left the room while Briana followed suite.
My mother walked over to me and took a seat on my bed. She put a piece of a stray hair behind my ear as she gazed at me. "You scared me, you know that?", she queried. "I've never in my life experienced a broken heart until I got such news. I am thankful that you are still here with us. I'm still a bit distraught. Goes to show that a bullet has no name.", she said followed by a sigh. "I'm so glad that God didn't take you away from me Tahari. I know I may be hard on you but I do love you, beyond my life", she stated as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.
"I love you too mama", I said as a faint smile formed upon my face.
Silence began to hover the room aside from the machines in the room. "Mama, why doesn't daddy like me?", I queried which caught her by surprise.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "What?", she questioned.
I sighed. "I know he loves me but I feel deeply that he doesn't like me. Lately he has been distancing himself away from me and even when I would try to talk to him, he would act as if he doesn't want to be bothered with me.", I said as I began to tear up. "Even last night, he chose his job over me. I was drugged but I was still in my right mind and believe it or not, it broke my heart.", I said as the tears began to stroll my face. "It's alright though because I don't need him to like me, I don't", I said softly.
Silent tears streamed my mother's face. She slowly stood to her feet. "I'll be right back Tahari, I have to make a phone call", she said before leaving the room.
I sighed as I gazed down at the stuff I had in my lap. My slightly melted cup of ice, sugar cookies and manchu chicken. I grabbed my cell. I had 30%. I searched my contacts and I couldn't find his number. I went to my texts and I didn't see our conversation.
He must've deleted his contact just in case someone would've gotten a hold of my phone...
I sighed out of frustration and dropped my cell onto my lap. I rested my back against the pillow before I shut my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my frustration as the tears continued. I opened my eyes and took my fingers away from the bridge of my nose. I thought for a second before wiping my tears away...
My call log...
I grabbed my cell and searched through my call log and I finally found his number. I pressed call and put the cell to my ear. My heart began to beat rapidly as I awaited for him to pick up.
No answer...
I tried once again.
No answer...
I tried one more time.
No answer...
I hope he's okay... 💔