The next morning my maids come in later than usual. They say they've been working on my dress for the spring party.
I reminded them about my back and they just nodded so I trusted them.
My dress for breakfast was simple and a light grey. I thought how beautiful it would be on my sister with her grey eyes.
As I go outside I tag along with Rae.
"Are you excited about the party?" She asks me after we curtsy in the Great Room.
"I'm not good at dancing." I shake my head
"Have you ever even tried? And their giving us lessons." She tells me.
"Oh great more splendid time with other girls who group up waiting for this." I say.
"Still." Rae huffs and pulls out her chair. "at least try."
"Fine I'll try just for you." I laugh and sit down in my seat. Today I try and pick something that would be easy to keep down.
I stick with an apple and one pancake. The pancakes tasted bland but everybody else would out different flavored syrup.
•••
"What do you know?" Alex asks.
"That sounded harsh." I say and roll my eyes. "I sorta know my letters."
"Come here." He says, patting the room on the couch beside of him. I slide over just a little so I can look over his shoulder onto the blank piece of paper.
"How are we going to do this?" I ask.
"Ill write a letter and you try and tell me what it is." He shrugs. "I've never been good at teaching, but I love to read." I nod
"What's this?" Alex asks and draws a circle.
"It's an O." I say. We continue on through almost all the letters and I get most of them. We worked until I could pronounce a few simple words like cat or sit which was embarrassing.
"I remember some things from the few times I went to school but the English language have so many tricks it's almost impossible." I groan.
"I know." Alex says sympathetically. Now it was almost three in the morning and I sat on the couch with my eyes nearly closed. I look up at Alex for a minute.
"Thanks." I say quietly.
"Your eyes are really pretty." He whispers while cupping one side of my face.
"So I've been told." I reply and smirk. "Don't kiss me."
"Why not?"
"I just can't Alex." I say putting one hand on his chest pushing him away a little.
"Fine I won't kiss you." Alex promises. "Just let me hold you." So I let him keep his hand on my face, but it slowly traveled to my neck. His other arm was wrapped around my waist
I close my eyes and breathe outwardly. I hold one of my hands by Alex's chest and my other was holding his hand that was wrapped around me.
I hadn't been held since Jason. No boy had really even touched me other than my dad or Jason. Or Tyler. But they were all family you know.
"Who were you talking about in your letter to Jason?" Alex asks in less than a whisper.
I didn't want to expose myself like this. I've never told people these things and I never even talked about them. I just couldn't.
"Bad things happen, Alex. Even to the best of people." I sigh. "Even the ones who weren't old enough to hold a crime. Somebody who could never even sin."
"Who was it, Char." Almost all the girls have caught onto my nickname.
"It was my brother. He was three. Favored me in looks. He had my blue eyes and brown hair with a bland face." I sigh. "Some people don't know how to feel, but you don't know about them because you don't live outside the castle. You've never actually been outside the castle even."
"What happened to him?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I shake my head.
"You can trust me, you know." Alex says again looking down at me but I don't dare meet his eyes.
"Stop. Don't push me." I say leaning away from him a little.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean—" Alex starts.
"No it's alright. I need to go sleep anyway." I shake my head and stand up. This was wrong.
"I'm sorry, Charlie." He says standing with me.
"No just let me sleep." I say and kiss his cheek. "Good night."
I don't look back as I exit the library and rush to my room. It's too late for me to be awake right now.
I think maybe going home would be the best thing for me right now.
Authors note!
So this is short and later than I wanted but I have an hour that I'm waiting for the animal kingdom safari line so I'll try and update some time tonight maybe. This week will be busy because I have a lot of stuff to do at DISNEY