"Barry? How are you feeling?" Caitlin asked still worried looking at the the machine, she silenced the alarms now moving closer to Barry.
"My legs hurt" Barry said sitting up a little, acknowledging the fact that Caitlin ignored his question so he asked again. "Did the serum work?" Barry said.
Caitlin threw back the covers examining Barry's legs, they were black and blue and had clear indications of frostbite, his broken leg also looked swollen and bruised. Caitlin felt a wave of guilt wash over her quickly throwing the covers back over his legs.
"Barry what was the last thing you remember?" Caitlin asked not only worried about Barrys physical health but mental, why couldn't he remember what happened?.
"I injected myself with the serum, which I know was stupid, I'm so sorry Caitlin but I needed to try, I need my speed back" Barry asked clearly not remembering the past couple of hours.
"Barry you left here hours ago.. you got your speed back, you went to go see Iris and...Joe" Cisco said exchanging worried glances with Caitlin.
"Why did you say Joe like that?" Barry asked picking up on Cisco's tone change.
"You attacked him Barry" Caitlin said softly trying to break the news gently.
"W-what? I attacked Joe?" Barry asked now attempting to get up, eager to see if his speed worked.
"The serum worked bare, but there was side effects, the dark matter changed you" Cisco said easing Barry back down on the bed, now sitting down next to him.
"Changed me how?" Barry asked, wincing at his painful legs.
"It made you angry and almost careless to how other people felt it was almost as if you had no humanity, the only thing you seemed to care about was Iris" Cisco replied trying to break the news as gently as possible.
"Guys... I don't know where to begin to apologise"Barry said feeling extremely guilty.
Barry glanced at Caitlin and Cisco flashing them both apologetic looks before continuing. "I didn't hurt either of you did I?" Barry said hesitantly.
"No Barry.. but I hurt you I had no choice you were going to try and inject Iris with the same serum, it would have killed her, I had to freeze you thats why your legs are so painful" Caitlin said taking full responsibility for her actions and she couldn't help but feel awful for the obvious pain that Barry was in.
Barry looked down at his legs now noticing the colour of them, he ran his fingers over his lower leg feeling the bits of burnt flesh peeling away as he brushed his hand across his shins. Barry winced again looking back at Caitlin.
"Its okay Caitlin, thank you, you got me back no matter what it took, so thank you" Barry said offering a small smile.
"You should get some rest, and I need to bandage those legs, I don't want them to get infected" Caitlin said heading towards the supply closet.
"Caitlin I'm okay really, I can feel the speed force I'm healing" Barry said grinning to himself, now acknowledging the presence of the lighting he felt crackle through his veins, it made him feel alive, like he had purpose again.
"I know Barry but you still need to rest" Caitlin said now bringing over some fresh bandages to dress Barry's frost bitten flesh.
"I need to see Joe! I need to apologise" Barry said desperately trying to remember what had happened.
"Barry please, you need rest!" Caitlin begged trying to reason with Barry.
"Caitlin please I need to see Joe and Iris" Barry said his eyes pricking with tears.
"Okay" Caitlin said finally giving in, knowing arguing with Barry was useless and that he was gong to go either way.
Caitlin finished dressing Barry's legs and examining his broken leg. "Just promise me you'll come straight back here after you've done, I need to monitor you, we still don't know if the serum worked properly" Caitlin said as she watched Barry struggle to stand and put his coat on.
Cisco noticed this too and went to offer some help but Barry pushed his hand up in defence to let him know that he didn't want his help. "Im okay Cisco really, just sore" Barry said flashing another fake smile.
"Were just worried about you man" Cisco said feeling although he needed to defend himself.
"I know and I couldn't ask for better best friends thank you two, so thank you both.. really, you mean the world to me" Barry said slowly limping towards the lift.
"You don't want a lift to the hospital?" Caitlin asked desperately wanting to help her injured friend in anyway she could.
"Im fine thanks Caitlin" Barry said attempting to give them one more 'I'm okay' smile, but it just came across as a painful simper.
Barry slowly made his way to the front of star labs taking in a cold breath of icy air, the temperature had dropped and Barry shivered at the bitter air. It was dark out side now. Barry dove into his pocket searching for his phone but he couldn't find it. He checked his wrist instead he still had his watch on he could barley make out the time in such dim light, but it read 8.15pm.
"What the hell happened today" Barry muttered to himself bracing himself for what he was about to do.
Barry firmly re-planted his feet on the ground wincing at the pain in his leg but he ignored it. Barry took a deep breath in shuddering at the cold air once more, he let the speed force surge through his body, letting the familiar warmth sensation take over as the lighting appeared in his eyes, he let his body do the work and he enjoyed the projectory that he felt as his body effortless glided through what felt like frozen time.
Barry sped past the buildings and cars, accepting the speed force once more and appreciating that time stood still in such away that allowed him to pass through undetected. Barry was so lost in this feeling that he forgot about the pain and his exhausted body, he ran straight past the hospital forgetting everything, nothing mattered anymore, not in this moment.
Barry suddenly stopped, the thought of Iris coming back into his mind. He let the exhaustion in and almost collapsed barley making it back to the hospital. Barry gladly lent against a bench trying to take some weight of his legs.
"Are you okay Sir?" A stranger asked hurrying towards a huddled Barry who was obviously in some sort of pain or discomfort.
"I'm okay I just need to catch my breath for a second" Barry said fake smiling in an attempt to look better than he did, still hunched over, he noticed the women's scrubs and stethoscope so he knew that she must be some sort of nurse or junior doctor.
"Are you sure?" She asked once more pushing just a little to see if Barry would cave and let her help.
"Im fine really" Barry said flashing another fake 'Im ok' smile standing to face her walking away as normal as he could not that he had to prove himself to anyone, but he felt like he had to.
Barry got round the corner into the main Emergency department finally letting himself relax more and his limp became more prominent. Barry got in the lift and went to the familiar ICU floor purposely slowing his pace so he didn't have to speak to Joe, he was nervous.
Barry approached Iris's room, the lighting was minimal but Barry could just about make out two figured shadows beside Iris's bed, he knew one was Joe he could tell by the horrid posture, Joe always slouched when he sat in chairs and the other one he couldn't quite make out, but Barry figured that it was either Dr. Fitzbery or Natalie.
"Joe?" Barry said now slowly entering the room, he reached for a light but decided he didn't want to se Joe's face or Iris.
Joe turned his head to meet Barry and his lips parted as if he wanted to speak, the second figure was now viewable it was Natalie she gave Joe a nod and a smile and hurried off muttering the words "Im here if you need me" Barry barley heard what she said but he knew she was referring to whatever had happened earlier.
The light of passing cars caught Joe's face exposing his bloody nose, bruised eye and grazed cheek, Barry grimaced at the sight of Joes face and a wave of guilt washed over him flashing images of him hitting Joe came in painful waves, making Barry grip his head with pain.
"Barry!" Joe said now standing to approach Barry he was cautious and nervous Barry picked up on Joe's hesitance despite clutching at his throbbing head.
"Im okay..just remembering what happened..Im so sorry Joe" Barry said through painful waves of flashing pictures.
"Its okay Barry, so your back?" Joe said leading Barry to an empty chair. Barry gladly sat down his body needing to rest. The pain subsided and so did the memory but it stuck in Barry's mind replaying on a loop that Barry couldn't stop.
"J-Joe I'm.. I had no idea, I'm so sorr--
"Barry its okay son, I know" Joe said pulling his son into a well needed hug.
"Im back" Barry said letting a few tears of relief fall.
"Good" Joe said also letting his emotions loose.
Barry and Joe slowly released from the hug, Joe cupping his hand behind Barry's neck, "I love you bare" Joe said offering a smile, which Barry could tell hurt because of the swelling but decided it was best if he didn't bring it up again. Barry smiled back.
"How is she?" Barry said looking over at Iris, she looked peaceful but Barry noticed there were move IV bags and drip stands, something was off.
"She's okay, stable" Joe said obviously leaving out some crucial details, Barry switched the light on above Iris's bed examining Joes face and the dried tears that had left marks. Joe had been crying.
"Your lying" Barry said seeing right through Joes attempt to hide Iris's true prognosis.
"Its not good bare" Joe said letting more tears escape. Barry went to reply but Joe put his hand on his sons knee, almost to say let me finish.
"She's dying" Joe whimpered out.
"W-what, but she looks okay I though she was doing better?" Barry said leaning over Iris bed, he brushed her hair to one side.
"There saying her lungs are failing there not strong enough bring her off the vent" Joe said trying to stop himself from completely loosing it.
"NO" Barry said slamming his hands down on the bed rail.
"Barry" Joe said thinking about earlier when Barry had snapped just like that.
"No Joe I'm not loosing her not like this, we will find a way!, there has to be something, we'll take her to star labs. Let Caitlin and Cisco come up with something" Barry said pacing back and forth his limp becoming more obvious.
"Barry please sit down" Joe said not wanting Barry to be in unnecessary pain.
"Is there a chance she could wake up if we woke her now?" Barry asked.
"The doctor said the longer she's on the vent the worse she will get but without it her lungs are too weak" Joe said trying to remain calm.
"Right well surely its better to try again, let me take her to star labs, what about a meta human, someone who could bring people back or heal, or Lazarus's pit, it brought Thea back or-
"Barry stop, your grasping at fantasy's" Joe said seeing Barry was staring to work himself up and panic, it was something Barry's used yo do as a child whenever he tried to talk about what happened to his mum. He would get himself worked up.
"Joe I can't loose her, she's my world" Barry said falling to his knees, Joe knelt beside him.
"I know bare, I know, neither can I" Joe said cradling his son.
END