"Marry you?"
"Yes, marry me."
"What are you talking about? Do you not understand that you are disgracing one of the most important values in life? You just want to marry me because of guilt! You want to marry me so I'll think everything's alright! How long has it been since it happened? From the day you stopped calling right? Right?!" Rin felt like screaming. Each word came out more fierce, with more hatred and complaint. Complaint at how she was forgotten; how he treated so lowly of her; as if marrying him would change the fact that he could still cheat on her. "I am not marrying you; now please leave." Her voice was oddly stern as she pulled away from Ruki's hands that dropped lifelessly to his sides., nodding reluctantly.
"Is it over?" He asked, standing up on his shaky legs. Rin looked up at him, gulping uncomfortably as she nodded. It had to be done. Maybe in the end he wasn't the one for her. Maybe in the end she gave him too much credit for what he really deserved. Even if she was madly in love with Ruki, she couldn't deceive herself that this wasn't over; everything between them was over.
"Yes, yes it is." She finally said, momentarily gulping down her tears. But she knew that once Ruki closed the door behind him she would break down.
"Okay. Goodbye Usagi-chan. I-I love you." Ruki said before opening the door and stepping out. Then he closed it behind him with a soft click. Rin instantly fell on her knees, a sob finally breaking through her lips, her cheeks immediately stained from the salty drops that were filled with all the good memories she had lived with him. While Rin was crying her heart out, Ruki was still standing behind the door, his back against it as he slowly slid against the floor, tears escaping his own eyes. Bringing his knees up, the man rest his elbow against it and run a hand through his messy blond hair. This couldn't be happening.
Losing her forever was something he found himself never thinking of. But he indeed lost everything as soon as his lips touched another woman's. The sobs he heard from inside the house, broke his heart a little bit more than it already was so he stood up and with wobbly legs he went towards the pet shop, retrieving Koron and headed towards the airport, going back to the city they were about to have a show that night. Being as fucked up as he was, he suddenly realized that his fans would be disappointed with his appearance He wasn't in the mood to leave the green room or crack jokes with his friends, that were clueless on the situation Ruki was in.
"Oi Ruki-kun! Where have you been?" Reita asked excitedly, slinging an arm over his friend's shoulders. Shrugging Reita's arm off, Ruki plopped down on the small couch in the green room, while they were a few hours away from the show. Aoi and Uruha were on stage, strumming their guitars during soundcheck while Reita and Kai were lounging with Ruki, watching TV. "Ruki-kun, what happened?" Reita voiced his question again, but concern laced his words. His friend was a wreck, laying down on the couch with an arm over his eyes as he was about to fall asleep, or cry.
"I broke up with Rin."
"What?" Kai squeaked as he sat up straighter on his leather armchair. A look of pain crossed all three men as they thought about it a little bit more. "Is it because of what happened at the after party?" The elder asked, cocking his head to the side in curiosity.
"Yes, I called her. I told her everything and she hang up on me. Then I took the first plane back to find her. I went to our house but everything was locked up with a note saying that Koron was on a pet shop; I also found her phone smashed. She probably threw it against the wall. Then I went back to her own house begging for forgiveness. B-but she ended it; for good." Ruki explained, moaning in desperation.
"You fucked up big time." Uruha said once he entered the room with Aoi on his heels. A glare towards Aoi was all they needed to know that it was his influence that ruined their relationship. Or maybe dragged Ruki to his darkest lustful ways.
"Guys, start getting ready." Their manager poked his head in the room, giving a grin at them. Everyone nodded and slowly trailed towards the make-up room in slow sluggish movements. Once they were all seated, Kaolu appeared, working on Ruki first, who was the most reluctant one. Closing his eyes, refusing to stare at his ugly reflection, Kaolu groaned at the sight of his friend and client.
"What happened to you Ruki-san?" He asked quietly, as if questioning himself while he opened up the palettes with shadows, brought the make-up close to him and all the brushes. Sighing slightly Kaolu started on removing the smudgy mascara from the man's eyes and cheeks, making him close his eyes, staying still as a statue. It was rare for Ruki to not start a conversation, or ask about Kaolu's personal life and routine that it made the man uncomfortable as he did his work.
Aoi and Reita were in the changing room, waiting patiently for their stylist to pick up the clothes they should wear. On the other hand Uruha and Kai were having their hair done by Kaolu's assistants. It was pretty hectic; everyone was running around, trying to get ready until the boys had to get on stage. The screams from the crowd was making the boys shiver in anticipation besides one person who wanted to bawl his eyes out and hide behind the countless racks of clothing.
By the time they had to get on stage, everyone was dressed properly, had their hair and make-up done. They were intently listening to the screams of their fans, constantly yelling 'Gazetto' in their loudest voices, creating a fissure of pleasure to all five of men. Even if Ruki wasn't cut out to sing today, this scream lifted his spirits and brought a smile on his face.
"Okay, let's do it." Kai smiled placing his hand in the middle of their little circle, the other members quickly placing their own on top of his.
~
Rin was sprawled on her bed with Riki running on it, occasionally paying attention to his owner, but mostly running and munching on the blankets. The television was playing a cooking show, that Rin couldn't even bother watching as her head was laying comfortably on the pillow while her eyes were making holes on the ceiling.
"Honey? I have to go now, your dad wants help with moving the furniture in the house. The food is in the fridge, please eat something okay?" Yoshiko said, stepping next to her daughter, pressing her lips on the girl's forehead. "I love you." She mumbled and left the room, then with a soft click she was gone from the house.
Once she was left alone again, Rin remembered Ruki's words.
"Marry me." She snorted, rolling on her side, stroking Riki's furr slowly. The small rabbit, hopped in front of Rin, gently nibbling her finger and then bumped its little head against Rin's forehead. A smile broke the girl's lips past the tears that threatened to leave her eyes again. She felt too tired to start crying; it was energy consuming and she felt pitiful breaking down over a man she once cried her eyes out, back in high school. It was really absurd; thinking she would accept marrying him just because Ruki could ease his guilt that way, degrading the woman's pride. Thoughts pierced her head, effectively making the girl dizzy. She sat up slowly, slapping a hand over her mouth as she felt bile rising up her throat. But when she felt that keeping it down would be impossible, Rin run towards her bathroom, almost falling as she turned the corner fortunately keeping her balance, she fell on her knees in front of the toilet, retching whatever she had stuffed her stomach with, the past few hours.
When she finished puking her insides, Rin stood up and brushed her teeth, barely glancing her reflection on the mirror. She looked like crap and that was the nicest way to describe herself at the moment; uber crap. Slowly, trying not to lose her footing again, the woman made her way towards the kitchen, warming up the food her mother had made. Even if the smell was having the opposite effect of making her hungry, Rin still forced herself to eat, meanwhile closing her eyes so she wouldn't see what she was eating.
After she was finished downing whatever she could, which was half the bowl, she put the rest of it in the fridge and took a slow shower. She was right from the beginning; alone and heartbroken while Ruki would probably laugh and dance and sing with the crowd cheering for him uncontrollably.
People never change. She thought, her subconscious scolding her about how the man probably loved her more than he loved Koron, which was an obvious lie. When she finished her shower, getting out after realizing the water went from steamy hot to freezing cold, Rin got dressed in her pyjamas and pulled her hair in a ponytail, not bothering to dry it. Riki was back in his cage and the girl was under her blankets, her now small haven that hopefully would keep all bad monsters outside of her dreams and thoughts.
And then she fell into a dreamless sleep.
~
Days passed by painfully slowly and New Year's as well. The plans Ruki had made for him, Rin and his friends weren't anywhere near done, since the man decided to visit his family after a long time of absence. After the year changed, the man went out with his fellow bandmates and drunk their asses off along with some more friends, both from Alice Nine and Screw. But forgetting Rin would be impossible for him. He texted Rin, saying his happy new year and she replied the same, but it seemed so much colder than his. Even if it was typed the same, minus the emoticons that Ruki was desperately hoping for.
While Ruki had his fun, reluctant one but fun nonetheless, those days, Rin had spent them throwing up and being dizzy. The thought of maybe, as a tiny chance of her being pregnant passed her head, but in the end it seemed impossible. It had happened only one time and even if she couldn't remember if protection was used, Rin found it funny. If there was a chance she was pregnant, Ruki would throw a hissy fit about it; he was a rockstar, constantly working and going on tours. A kid would be the last thing on his mind.
Yet Rin sometimes wished she was. It would complete her life now that she had a steady work and used to have a boyfriend she was crazy about. To have a little dark brown haired girl with hazel eyes, running all around in the house, Koron barking and following her all around the house as she landed in her father's arms. Snapping out of her thoughts, Rin sat up slowly, her stomach twisting uncomfortably indicating that she would soon be hugging the toilet once more. Sometimes while Rin threw up, all alone, she would contemplate telling her mother. She needed some sort of advice or even comfort.
"Rin?" Ryouta's voice startled the girl, slightly. Did everyone in her family have a key?
"In the bathroom." She croaked, then after resuming her throwing up once more, she shakily stood up and brushed her teeth.
"Is everything alright?" Ryouta asked alarmed, rubbing her back soothingly, even if she wasn't retching her guts out anymore.
"These past days I've been extremely dizzy and puking non-stop. I barely can keep any food down and I don't know what to do."
"R-Rin? Are you pregnant?" Her brother looked at her horrified. Being pregnant and seperate from her boyfriend was the last thing a woman would want. And besides that, Ruki was constantly going from one place to another; how could they raise a child together?
"N-no, I don't think so."
"Have you taken a pregnancy test?" Heat creeped up Rin's neck, all the way to the tips of her ears as she shook her head. Groaning, her brother instantly left the house, probably going to the closest pharmacy to take the girl out of her misery. Rin plopped down on the edge of her bathtub, her leg bobbing up and down in anticipation. It seemed like ages had passed before Ryouta was back, shoving two different brands of pregrancy tests. The girl frowned as Ryouta left the room, closing the door behind him. Taking a few calming breaths, Rin opened the boxes and carefully read the instructions, then used them both. "Rin? How is it going?" Ryouta asked, pacing anxiously outside the door, his fists clenching and unclenching with each step. A few minutes had passed before Rin opened the door, her eyes glued on the test.
"Well?"
~.~
A/N: This chapter is so small and I am very sorry, but it was the most appropriate way to finish it ^^ There are only two chapters left just for your information! The twentieth will be the epilogue and then Kai-san's fanfiction is following! I am really happy that I got some of the general plot figured out, but there are still some details I need to make out. I hope it comes out as good as Calm Envy did and to be honest, I am kind of sad that this fanfiction is almost over :/
Anyway!
Spread your Gazelove everyone! ~Kwnekochan