❝I'M JUST SOME DUMB KID TRYING TO KID MYSELF THAT I GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER❞
━━━
Helen [received 6:45 am]:
Philip, where are you??
you didn't come home last night,
are you okay??
read 6:50 am
Me [sent › Helen 6:51 am]
yeah, fine.
i'm with a friend, that's all.
you can track my phone if you're so worried.
read 6:51 am
━━━
fuck.
"woah, woah. back up, mate." Ezra - who was sitting opposite Philip on Sita's dining table - stared at Philip with wide eyes and a spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth. "you told who what?"
Philip sighed and rolled his eyes. it was the morning after, and he'd decided it would be best to tell Ezra about what happened yesterday while they ate breakfast. it would be safer than in the car, just in case Ezra got distracted and all.
"i told this guy you were my boyfriend," Philip muttered, not extremely proud of his actions. Ezra brought down his spoon and took a swing of his orange juice. he stood up and went to the trash, throwing away the remaining of his cereal. he placed the plate and spoon on the sink and made his way to Philip.
Philip gave him a look which made Ezra stop dead in his tracks, turn around, and wash his plate.
once he was finished, he went to fetch his car keys and motioned for Philip to head to the car.
the wind outside was cold, making him shiver. he pulled Ezra's sweater closer to him. they'd fallen asleep on Sita's couch last night without even knowing, and they didn't wake up early enough today for Philip to get a chance of going back to the house, so Ezra offered to lend him something clean. it wasn't as if they hadn't shared clothes before.
"alright. so, what do i do?" Ezra turned up the heat in the car - Philip was surprised it worked - and turned to him.
it took Philip a few seconds to realize he was talking about the boyfriend thing. "um, i don't know. nothing really. just hug me or hold my hand when he's around."
Ezra chuckled, earning a quizzical look from Philip. "you know, if you want to make this believable, we'll have to do more than that," he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "we'll have to be together 24-7."
"aren't we like that already?"
Ezra smiled, "yes, but we might wanna try getting more physical."
why did he have go tell Lukas he had a boyfriend? boyfriend things were complicated.
he mumbled a quiet "okay" before leaning against the car door, staring out the window at the passing trees.
this town was beautiful, and as far as foster homes go, it was really serene. the first few weeks were rough for him, moving here was such a huge environmental change. back in the city, you had neighbors a few feet away from your house, and it was very rare having a quiet night without police sirens or music blaring away. here, Helen and Gabe didn't even have other neighbors in sight, and everything was so quiet aside from birds and whatnot.
they reached the school block, and Ezra headed towards the parking lot. despite the morning being chilly, most of the student body was outside, huddled around with their group of friends.
"you got your schedule?" Philip asked, swinging his school bag over his shoulder. "let me see it"
he snatched the paper from Ezra and scanned it over. he sighed and gave it back.
"what?"
"we don't have any classes together," Philip turned and made his way to the school, Ezra following close behind. "you didn't sign up for any AP classes."
Ezra was beside him now. as they neared the entrance of the school, Ezra wrapped his arm around Philip's waist, making him jump. "well, to my defence, they were all full."
"yeah, whatever. at least we have lunch together." Philip mentally slapped himself after saying this. he and Lukas had lunch together as well, and now that Ezra was here, it'll be even more difficult.
"so," Ezra began to look around. "who's the dude we're supposed to make jealous?"
Philip scoffed. "i never said we were making anyone jealous."
Ezra gave him a knowing look before saying, "oh, come on. if not for jealousy, then why bother telling him we're 'going out'?"
Philip sighed. he hated when Ezra was right.
he, too, began to look around for Lukas. soon enough, he spotted the mess of blond hair and pale skin standing near the entrance doors, with Rose. "that's him."
he felt Ezra freeze next to him, the grip on his waist tightening a fraction. Ezra leaned in, whispering softly into Philip's ear, "Phillie, that's the fucker who was messing with you yesterday."
Philip ignored him and started towards the doors. Lukas spotted him before they were even close, their eyes met. Philip could've sworn he felt his body wake up, every nerve in him noticing Lukas' attention, and feeding off from it. the moment was over in less than a second as he felt Ezra tug him in, making their hips touch and not giving his arm space anywhere except around Ezra's waist. Lukas' gaze turned down.
Philip began to panic as they neared closer to Lukas. what the fuck was he thinking? Lukas wouldn't give a damn if he had a boyfriend, why would he? he had Rose, and they were happy.
even if Lukas did like Philip just a little, Philip had blown his chances now.
Ezra detached himself from Philip and went ahead and opened the front door for him, completely ignoring Lukas and his companion.
Philip's attention, on the other hand, was focused on Lukas. it was so focused on him, that Philip didn't even notice he missed a step, and was now going to fall face first onto the floor.
Philip felt a pair of arms grab him, steadying him. he would've imagined it was Ezra catching him, however, when Ezra touched him he didn't feel a current of sparks going all over his body like how he felt right now.
he looked up and was met with Lukas' eyes, a look of worry written all over them. of course, that look only lasted less then a second and was soon replaced with annoyance.
"watch it, dumbass," he sneered, letting him go with a slight shove. he turned and grabbed Rose, walking away.
Philip straightened his jacket and walked up the step he missed. Ezra was still standing there, eyes wide.
"what's wrong with that kid?" he asked, closing the door behind him once they were both inside. "he looks at you like you're his galaxy, then pushes you away and runs back to his girl?"
Philip didn't answer. to be quite frankly, he was used to this happening.
"Mr. Gray," a voice startled both of the boys. it came from Ms. Mary, the senior counselor. she was standing near the front desk, shuffling around with some papers. "thank god you're here early. would you mind waiting in my office? I've got some things to go over with you."
Ezra Gray looked over at Philip, an apologetic look on his face. Philip smiled, understanding. Ezra gave Philip a pat on the shoulder and made his way to one of the many doors behind the front desk, Ms. Mary following behind.
he stood there, not knowing where to go. the counselor was right, they were early, which meant the library wouldn't be open for a while. he could sit in the cafeteria to wait for first bell. he started to make his way there, when suddenly he felt a chill breeze coming from behind him.
he turned around and saw Lukas coming in, alone.
their eyes locked, and Philip felt that familiar pull that came when he was with Lukas.
Lukas made his way to him, grabbing him by the sleeve and pulling him away from the entrance.
"thought you didn't want to be seen with me at school," Philip said. he began to feel anger building up inside him. who the hell did Lukas think Philip was? a toy Lukas only used when he was bored?
"shut up." Lukas ran his hand through his hair, looking around at the empty hallways. "ju-- just be quiet, alright? we need to talk."
"no, Lukas. there's nothing to talk about. everything is perfectly clear."
Lukas let out a sigh of exasperation. he brought his hands up and placed them on either side of Philip's body, making Philip stay put between the wall and Lukas.
Lukas leaned in, his lips mere millimeters away from Philip's cheek. "Please?" Lukas's voice wavered and he cleared his throat. "meet me at my dad's cabin after school."
Philip's breathing hitched. oh, that cabin, that stupid, stupid cabin. the fucking place where Lukas and him shared their first kiss.
Philip looked at Lukas in the eyes, seeing the desperation in them.
"i- i don't know."
Lukas pushed himself away from Philip, making his warmth disappear, leaving Philip with a shiver. "oh, come on. what else are you gonna do this afternoon? hang out with your many friends?"
"no, i plan on spending time with my boyfriend."
Lukas froze. his shoulders slumped and his breathing became slow. he couldn't look at Philip.
"right. i'm, uh, i'll just-- i gotta go."
Lukas turned and marched off. Philip should've felt proud, he did just stand up to Lukas and made him know he wasn't the only boy in his life, yet something inside him felt wrong. he didn't feel satisfied, much less content with his actions.
he heard the front doors open, then close.
it took every ounce of self control he had to not rush off after Lukas and apologize.
·
listen I just wanna thank y'all for reading this story, it means a lot to me. ily guys a lot !!
don't forget to vote + comment