"Baby, you're scaring me."
"I don't want to scare you. Gabriel," Woah, Gabriel? "I need you to listen to me. Ok, this is actually not that big of a deal. At least not to me."
"Just tell me." I smiled at him as we laid down on his bed. I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips softly.
"I...my name is Jared McGranger,"
"I know that." I chuckled and kissed his lips again.
"I'm 19 years old. I live alone."
"Why do you live alone?"
"My dad threw me out because he didn't support me. My mom did, but she's...not around any longer. I ended up dropping out of school, going to work and paying my own rent."
"I'm sorry. But he threw you out because he didn't accept you being gay?"
"That's one of the reasons."
"Ok, but what does that have to do with the syringes? Baby just tell me. It can't be that bad." I kissed him and smiled against his lips.
"I'm...those are testosterone shots." He mumbled.
"W-"
"I'm trans." flew off his lips. "Just say if you don't want this...me. I will leave you alone." He looked down.
"Y- no, i want you. This is just...new."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I just...so you're a girl?"
"No, I'm not. I am a boy. I was born in the wrong body and i always knew it. My dad just didn't understand it."
"But...You're so muscular."
"So? I work out."
"And your...boobs?"
"I had top surgery when i was 16. My mom signed all the papers and when she...died it was already done and my dad was furious about it."
"But your voice..."
"Look, Gabe. Testosterone does all those things. The voice, the facial hair, other hair, Everything. I've been freed from my former self 5 years ago and i'm proud. If you don't get me and my body or you can't deal with it, then I'm sorry. I will leave you alone. But i just need my partner to understand me."
"No! I get you." i kissed his lips.
See? I said his.
"You're a boy." I said to myself.
"Gabe? It makes me feel really shitty if you have to tell yourself that I'm a boy like you don't believe it. I'm a boy in all ways but genitalia. I don't have a dick. But i am a boy. And i need you to see that. I mean, you didn't question anything when we met. You just thought i was a boy, and that is what i am."
"I know. I know, I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take in right now."
"I understand. But please just...treat me normally and don't say stuff like, 'wow that made you seem like a real boy', because i am a boy, ok? And please don't say shit like 'does being with you make me straight?' Because no, it doesn't. I am a gay male and if you are with me, you're not straight. Maybe you're bi or pan or whatever you identify youself with, but i am gay because i am a guy and like guys." His eyes got watery.
"Ok." I wiped his tear away and kissed his lips slowly. "I understand. Ok, baby." I sighed feeling kind of relieved.
The next moments we laid in his bed, staring at each other.
He is beautiful. I really don't see anything in him that could hint that he is trans. But that doesn't matter. He's the most stunning guy I've ever seen and i thought that since the moment i first saw him.
"This may sound weird, but can i..."
He raised an eyebrow at me as i didn't continue asking.
"Can i see your...chest. I mean...i want to...kind of want to see-"
"Top surgery scars?" He smiled at me.
"If it doesn't bother you."
"It doesn't bother me." He lifted his shirt up a bit. "They remind me that I'm free. I've been trapped in my old, female body for 16 years and my scars are a reminder that i did it. That I'm free. They show who i am. I am different, but still the same. I am Jared McGranger." He smiled brightly and took his shirt off fully.
"You're amazing." I stared into his eyes. I didn't even look at his chest because his face was just so mesmerising. "Can i...touch them?"
"Of course babe. Don't hold back. It's just a chest." He laughed.
"Ok." I caressed my fingers over his two scars under his chest. They where white and at the corner of his chest, really.
I laid my hands on them and started massaging his chest. I looked deep into his eyes before connecting our lips again.
He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me on top of him. We kissed so passionately on his bed, my body was on fire. "Can i-"
"Don't fucking ask baby. Just do it."
"Ok." I grinned at him and kissed his neck and went down to his collarbones. I sucked all the way, leaving my marks in red-purpleish lovebites. I started kissing his chest more and more and when i came to his scars, i kissed them too, gently.
"Don't get this the wrong way...but i think you, telling me this, made me fall for you and like you even more. Not the fact that you're trans which, with the help of a very hot guy i know, i know now, that it doesn't matter because all that matters is that you are yourself... But i think that you told me in general did it. I think you're so fucking brave. And i think you're the hottest guy on earth. Not that that had ever changed just because you told ne." I came back up to his face and kissed him again. "And i'm fucking glad you told me."
"Gosh you make me blush."
"Love that." I winked at him. "So everything is fine between us right?"
"Everything is normal." He smiled.
"Great." I kissed his cheek again. "God, i couldn't even imagine you being a girl...sorry if that is what you didn't want me to say but...the thing is, I'm curious. I've never had a trans friend, let alone, boyfriend. And i 100% accept you and don't even question your boyness, ok? You have to get that. I like you for who you are, Jared Wannabe Padalecki." We giggled together. "So you don't have to worry about me, not getting it because i get it. I'm trying to understand everything completely but i get it. I get you. But I'm still curious...-"
"Ok, we've cleared that. You know I'm a boy, done with the topic, ok?" He sat up excited.
"Yeah, you're a man. My man." I got up too and he blushed again.
"Aww. Ok, but that's cleared... i know I told you i didn't want to hear anything about me not being a boy and shit but...do you wanna see old pictures? I hate them so much but i just want to show you how i looked before. And what person i was. The wrong me."
"I'd love that."
"Ok, but i was one ugly ass girl because i tried so hard dressing like a boy without cutting my hair." He laughed in embarrassment as he got up and got his ID and some pictures out of a box. "Ok, here." He held his eyes closed and showed me them.
"What?! That was you?" I looked at a person with shoulder length, brown hair with a cap turned around on its head.
"Kind of, it was only the body i was trapped in though."
"Damn." I grinned at him and laid them away as i pulled Jared back to bed. "You looked like you needed to get out of there." I joked and he nodded against my lips.
"I'm really glad you still like me."
"I would be a huge ass if i didn't. You're still the same person. Nothing changed. So what? You happen to don't have a dick, i have one." I joked.
"Yeah." He smiled at me.
He cupped my face in his hands and pecked my lips.
"You're so fucking handsome." I sighed. "DAMN MY BOYFRIEND IS HOT." i screamed out and Jared shushed me with a kiss.
"Shut up, I'm going to burn because of how much i blush."
"You are beautiful." I kissed his nose. "Hot." I kissed it again. "And my amazing boyfriend which i still can't fucking believe."
"You're amazing for being so cool with this."
"This is actually pretty easy if i think about it. Nothing changed. You're still the same funny, beautiful and lovable person i fell for when i first walked into that café. Why should anything change that?"
"Where did you get your confidence from, all of the sudden, boy?" He mocked me. "I remember the little shy boy who kept stuttering around me, where did he go?" He smiled.
"I don't know. I guess you just bringout the best in me." I smiled back and we kissed slowly.
He pressed his whole body against mine, letting me feel every inch of him. He was literally perfect. All i could wish for.
Sure, it was new and unexpected that he is trans but what difference in our relationship does it make?
None.
He is still the same Jared.
My Jared.