And I won't let these Little things, slip, out, of my mouth.
But if they do, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you...
and all these little-
I stopped. I couldn't. I just can't. Every song I'd sing, every song about love, made me think of her... And it just made my heart hurt... Made me feel so ashamed that I let myself fall so deeply for someone who just gave up so quickly...
They continued to sing before Niall tugged me with his elbow, and I looked down from the lights above, and down towards the moving stage, all the fans yelling, and I forced a smile on my face.
As we landed to the middle stage, I couldn't help but notice all the girls, and for some reason, I still searched for her...
"Hey, Harry. We got to change. Are you going to stay out here?" Liam tugged me, a slight smile to his face. I followed, waving before heading backstage to change.
"Twenty five minute break. We're having some audio tech difficulties," our manager said.
"YES!" Louis cheered, throwing himself onto the couch. I followed close behind, as well as the other men. Niall brought us water bottles, and we emptied them into big cups of ice to make them cold.
"Hey, what happened earlier, Harry? Looked like you were in pain," Zayn asked.. And Niall eyed him sternly. I smiled.
"It's alright, Niall. Nah, just still a little heartbroken," I murmured, looking down at my old boots, analyzing the scratches. I looked up at the men around me, and sighed. Suddenly, a light knock on our door.
"Who is it?" Louis asked, getting up and going to the door to open it.. What was the point of questioning if you're just going to open it anyways.
He opened it slightly, and his face lit up in surprise.
"Sorry to disturb you-" the familiar voice was cut off by Louis jumping on onto..
The door slid open, and my heart skipped a beat. I put my cup of water on the coffee table, and stood up immediately as I glared at that smile, that hair that fell over Louis arms that he wrapped around her neck.
"Nicole," I blurted, breathless. Her eyes looked up at me, content as she kept the smile and Louis backed up to look at me and smile.
"What a surprise! What brings you here? I thought you went MIA," he joked, and she laughed, pulling her long hair behind her ear. The scar against her neck making me sigh. Her smile shortened as she looked down at the bag she was holding.
"Before I explain, here's a belated birthday gift, Louis.," she passed him a small rectangular box.
"If you don't like it, do whatever your heart pleases with it," she chuckled. She looked up at all of us, then at me.
"Happy New Years, men," she smiled warmly at me, barely ripping her gaze off of me.
I wanted to run to her, to hug her, tell her sorry, tell her to rid of that guilt that you still see in that spark of her eye, but I was hesitant. I didn't want to make things any worse...
It was the worst feeling ever... to want something in that's right in front of you, but you don't even know if it's safe to.. Temptation is the worst.
Liam stood up and held her in a big large hug, and her laugh was so carefree.. It was different.
"Um, since we only have about twenty minutes left," she began as Liam stood beside her, her gaze constantly finding me..
"I've been keeping watch for you guys... Um," she pulled her hand through her hair, and man.. was... that... so... attractive right now. My heart was in a massive coma for her. It's utterly ridiculous.
"Has Frankie been updating you with anything? Essie?" she asked, looking at Liam. He shook his head, his eyebrows coming together in confusion. She looked down, before going to her knees and pulling her hands into the bag she had.
"Well, like I said, I've been updating Essie, and she's suppose to be telling Frankie to update you all every moment I get," she began with a little questioning in her tone, an eyebrow risen in suspicion. I remained silent, as my heart slammed against my chest in anxiousness to be close again.. like I was that last day. I was barely able to keep my head in tune to her words.
"I think there's something happening today, I think he's here." she looked up at me. She pulled her pens in and told the men to remove their shirts... In five minutes all their "tattoos" were removed, Niall a little upset about his...
"I'm removing them so no one can track you guys. I'm judt taking precautions. " she explained.
She immediately stood up, locking her gaze on me as she quickly walked, stopping a foot in front of me.
The room was quiet, and I could see Niall, Louis, and Liam all smirking behind me, telling me how my face is reddening.
"Would you mind taking off your shirt," she asked seriously. That threw me completely off guard, making my face get even warmer than expected. She rose her eyebrows, a chuckle escaping her lips.
"Nicole?" I murmured. Her face became serious as I tore off my shirt in seconds. She rose her hand, pliers and that same pen. She touched my skin softly, her eyes revealing more guilt as she got closer.
The room was still quiet, then as it became more and more tense in the atmosphere.
"Well, I'm going to drink a cup of tea before going back on stage, you boys wanna join?" Louis quickly blurted, walking towards the food storage room.
"Yup," they all chirped... and Nikki's face became shocked as they left, before turning back to her work...
It felt so.. awkward to have her so close to me again after almost a month and a half. It's like I knew her forever.
"Nicole," I said again. Now I knew what I wanted to tell her, I wanted to apologize, to thank her, to tell her how much she meant to me.
"Nikki," she murmured as she removed the microchip from my chest. I couldn't help but smile.
"How's... Well, how's it been," I stuttered, nervous. She smiled before looking up at me.
"I really need you to be careful out there tonight," she said, so caring, so serious. I looked into her eyes, the tears wanting to escape them.
"Why...?" was all I asked. It was a question to so many answers I wanted. She continued to gaze, before she ripped her gaze, throwing the tracker into the bag again.
"Harry, no matter how much I want to say I do-" she stopped, looking down at my chest before looking back up.
"You know how much danger it's going to put you in? The Advanced Agents Program is already looking after me since I left... imagine all the other groups, clans, and enemies are after me now." she began, and I had no idea what she was talking about. I was completely lost.
"Nikki, what are you talking about?" I asked softly, wiping a tear that escaped her eye. Her face in distress just thinking about it all. She looked up at me and grabbed my hand.
"You broke me," she whispered. I felt myself grimace, but she held my hand tighter.
"But I needed it. I feel so much better now. But Harry, what I mean is," she sighed, closing her eyes before looking away at my hand, the scar... and she traced it. She looked back up at me, holding her hand against my cheek again...
Every time she did that, it would comfort me so much.. it was a way... that I didn't realize until now, to show that she truly cared. All this time.
Before I knew it, her lips were on mine. And finally, after almost 3 months, I got what I was dying for- a sign that she actually loved me back.
I put my hands onto her face, her naturally beautiful face and kissed her back. Before I knew it, she pulled away and she looked down at her watch.
"I was taught to never love, to keep my emotions, never become attached," she shook her head. Then she looked back up at me, taking a step back.
"I thought you were trying to weaken me, but you were just trying to fix what was broken, what I would always hide behind ' the bitch'," she chuckled before grimacing through her tears.
"Please be careful out there tonight," she begged.
"Whatever happens, don't give up," she cried. I nodded, a tear to my eye...
"You're leaving?" I whispered. She shook her head.
"No, I'll be out there watching, got my ticket right here," she smiled, pulling the pass through her purple jumper. I smiled with her.
"Here," she said as she reached into her pocket of her jeans, pulling out an ear piece.
" I almost forgot yours," she rose her eyebrow guiltily. She helped put it in, and she turned it on, stepping around four feet away.
"Can you all hear me now?" she said as she clicked hers on. I heard the echo of her voice in my ear, and I nodded, smiling.
All the men cheered, I could hear Niall with his mouth full in my ear and I flinched with how loud they were in my ear.
"I'll be the one in a bright purple," she winked, laughing. Finally, she was able to be the 19 year old that she was suppose to be. The carefree, strong, loving, cheerful, Nikki I knew she was.. She was being herself.
She walked out the door, and I caught a glimpse of her grimace.
" I love you, Nikki," I blurted after her. She stopped before she closed the door, turning to the side, smiling, grief on her expression though.
"Me too, Harry. Me, too." she closed the door. And I couldn't help but feel like a puppy, as I wanted to smile until my cheeks ripped, wanted to yell in happiness.
"Someone's got a hot agent girlfriend," Niall chuckled.
"I don't think they're official yet, Niall. Shush it up, twerp. ," Louis scowled as you heard him push Niall. The sudden slam of the food closet made me laugh since they were in the other room.
"Guys, shut up, I think she could still hear us," Liam pointed out. I gulped.
"Sure can," Nikki's laugh send butterflies into my chest.
"We'll work something out, eventually," Nikki added with another chuckle. I silently went insane, overwhelmed with so much excitement. I jumped around, fist pumping into the air, my cheeks about to rip.
Suddenly, the earpiece came off, and fell straight into the water.
"Shit," i blurted, quickly grabbing it and inserting it back into my ear. It made me shiver as the cold temperature from the water entered my ear.
"Hello," I asked again. All the men then barged into the room, laughing, replying with howdy, what's up, and holla as they were all excited about the new earpieces.
"Boys, back on stage in 3 minutes," the manager burst-ed through the other room, and we all headed out.