I did went to the concert. And I was ten rows apart from Alois. Nasa likuran ako. I know he doesn't knew that I attended, kabaliktaran sa'kin na kitang-kita ang bawat galaw niya.
It was supposed to be an exciting event for me. An unforgettable one. Pero para bang kay hirap maenjoy ang sarili if your mind were even preoccupied.
Avril's crowd probably has the loudest noise from every walls of the theater. From the continuous cheer of the audience to the artist herself.
Until she played the slipped away. One of my favorite.
It was like listening by my own feelings. Na para bang nakalaan niya itong kantahin para sa'kin.
Di ko na naman maiwasang tignan ulit ang nakatalikod na pigura ni Alois. I've long for him and I mean it.
Cause even when I knew he was chasing after me. I've been following him secretly.
Oo na't inaamin kong kailangan ko na siya. Kailangan ko na ang personal consultant ko.
Ewan ko ba at di ko pa kayang lapitan siya. The feeling that somehow, someone's still pulling not get with him yet. I don't know. Or maybe, it was my fear again.
~
The concert ended fine. Ngayon nga ay isa-isa ng nag aalisan ang bawat audience sa bawat row na kinabilangan nila. And I intended to come near his way. I want him to know that I'm actually here. I did accepted his company.
"Oops!Careful their. Sorry Miss. Are you okay?" Prenteng tando ko ng makabangga ko nga siya. It's been quite time since I heard his caring spills.
Nang makabawi sa pagkayuko at makaharap siya. I knew I'll be seeing his unexpected-kind of face. And their I knew it!
He never said even a single word but only stuck by his genuine stare for me as I do so. Hangang sa nagdesisyon rin akong maunang lampasan siya.
~
It's been weeks since the concert. And I was still the preoccupied one. I did keep on thinking that time. Ewan ko nga ngayon. Siguro sa karami-rami narin ng iniisip ayawwww di ko na namalayang sinsundan ko na pala ang daan papunta sa playground.
I can't help it though. I just felt going to one of my sanctuary even the consequence may lead me to see him. To see Alois.
Nahanda ko na ang sarili ko para dun, at di nga ako nagkamaling makita siya na mag-isang nakaupo sa swing. Our usual spot.
Though the darkness invades the light of the night. I can still see the clear silhouette of him from afar.
Tanging ang ilaw lamang ng playground ang nagsisilbing boltahe para makita ko siya as I was leaning then from a post near me. Pinagmamasdan lamang ang bawat galaw niya.
He has that face that I've never expected him to have. Pakiramdam ko kasalanan ko na naman ang bawat pag-iisip niya.
Right then, I realized. It was not only I who is preoccupied because Alois prove it so.
Ang lalim talaga ng iniisip niya. Kahit na kung sino ay mapapansin ito. He has that posture like he only has the grounds to watch with.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto na akong nakatayo at kung ilang oras na siya sa posisyong 'yun. Basta namalayan ko nalang na papaalis na ata siya, as he started to stand from sitting.
Dun narin ako naglakad patungo sa kanya. The way I planned to.
From the moment he saw my shoes I know he'll be willing to face me the way I wanted to be.
Alam kong kung hindi ako mauunang magsalita. Paniguradong walang usapan na namang mangyayari. He intented to wait until I have the guts to initiate.
"Hey." Agarang pagbati ko.
Nagulat man. Alam kong gumaan na din ang pakiramdan niya ng sa wakas ay kinausap ko na siya.
"L-Li.." di parin niya makapaniwalang sagot. As I gave him that thrifty smile of mine.
Napalabi siyang napayuko. Waring nilalabanan ang sarili para ngumiti as he cleared his voice before uttering another word to talk.
"I-I'm glad you came to the concert last week. Buti pumunta ka." Waring nahihiya pa niyang saad as he was scratching his nape. A mannerism of him that I knew all along.
Hindi parin ako nagsasalita. Bagkus ay hinihintay parin siya sa kung ano mang idadagdag. I know he has too much tell as well as I am.
Parang di naman siya mapakali ng di parin ako nagsasalita. Para naman siyang nagkaideya sa kung anong dahilan ng pagkatahimik ko na kahit mismong ako ay di alam.
"Oh! Right." Pasa ere pa niyang nuwestra sa kaniyang kanang kamay habang tinitignan ang paligid ng playground.
He shifted his gaze again on me. "I'm sorry if I happened to use one of your sanctuaries. Wala na din kasi akong mapagpilian. D-don't worry. Papaalis narin naman ako, so you can freely stay here though."
I remained silent even still gazing at him. "So! Uhm. I-I gotta go then. Right!" Showing me his usual smile. As he started to walk pass through me.
"Alois?"
Sa wakas ay lakas ko ring loob na magsalita ulit. Ilang hakbang palang ang nalalakad niya kaya nasisiguro kong malapit parin siya sa'kin ng mapahinto ito. Yet, we're facing each other's back.
Ilang segundong katahimikan rin ang namagitan sa'min saka ako nagdesisyong humarap sa nakatalikod na pigura niya. As I do my thing.
"I miss you."
I hugged him from the back. The one that I've been longing wanted.