Vic's Pov (it will return to Kellin's soon)
I wake up the next morning to fresh summer scents, like peaches and almonds. And there is a heavy weight against my chest. I open my eyes and quickly find the smells are exuding from Kellin's hair that is sprawled out, widely across my face and down my neck. The heaviness is a product of Kellin laying over my torso, fast asleep. I take a tired look around the room, seeing as the walls are a special light blue that only takes effect when the sun is just rising. It must be early.
It dawns on me that I shouldn't even be in here, because my sister and mom are just in the next room, and they have no knowledge of Kellin and I and how we are laying in the same bed together, right now, and I'd like to keep it that way.
I inhale a breath to store in my lungs as I subtly try and slide out from under Kellin. With small movements, I shift and shift until I am completely disconnected from him. Kellin doesn't move much. He stays asleep, and I have to force myself to leave and not stay and watch the sleeping beauty.
A few more hours later, Fae wakes up. She enters the living room where I'm on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV. There isn't much on-on a Tuesday morning. Without a word, Fae falls into the couch with me, stealing the remote from me in the process. I don't say and anything, knowing she is just like our mom and there is no point in arguing with her.
Expertly, she switches the channels, quickly before stopping on an animated Christmas special. I haven't watched these since I was a kid. They're nostalgic in a nice way, so I don't say anything.
"Do you remember when we would wake up at 5 in the morning on Saturday's to watch cartoons together?" Fae asked. I smile at the memory. I can clearly remember being like 5 or 6 and waking up before the sun to meet 10-year-old Fae in the living room and watch Pokémon and Looney Tunes and just whatever they were showing that morning. And we would always try and see who could wake up the earliest-- Whoever was last had to make breakfast for the both of them.
"Yeah."
I watch my sister from the other side of the couch. She is watching the TV and smiling, but I know it isn't because of the show. We share the same smile.
We stay like this for about a half hour. We don't talk much, just like when we were little. We wouldn't talk during the shows; we would sit before the television, in our pajamas with our unruly hair and tired eyes, and we would watch our shows in the still dark living room as our sleepy brains were still processing being awake.
"So I saw you sneak into Kellin's room last night," she says and I know that she is fully awake now.
"No," I say. "I was probably just going to the bathroom, and you thought I was going to Kellin's." It was a pathetic attempt of a lie, but I was still hoping she'd buy it.
"Right. I must be mistaken." She says, sarcastically. "So you guys still haven't gotten together?"
I give her a look, a look that says "what the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on!" She then exclaims. "It was so obvious!"
"What was?" I ask even though I know. I know exactly what she means and I would rather her not continue.
"The way you would go on and on about Kellin when you got home from school and how you got when he was going to come over for dinner and how you two would play with each others feet under the table."
She says all these things and my breath stiffens. These are all things that I thought only I noticed. I knew I talked about Kellin everyday to my mom, but I didn't think she thought anything of it. And while we ate dinner, Kellin and I would bump feets and give each other playful glances above the table. Of course that stopped when we got older, but still, I hadn't thought anyone noticed. I thought it was just me. I had even thought that maybe Kellin forgot, but I'm not so sure about that now, because apparently my feelings for Kellin were a lot more transparent than I thought.
"Well we aren't together," I dismiss.
"Okay, fine."
--
(Kellin's pov)
Waking up without Vic pressed up against me was a strange, almost foreign feeling now. We were --whatever we were-- for a few months now, and having that suddenly go away was going to take some getting used to, not that I ever wanted to get used to it. I didn't want to fall back into a time where Vic and I aren't exclusive. Our souls just go on better when they are together.
I get out of bed, leave my room and find myself in the living room where Fae and Vic are, lounging on the couch, watching Rudolph.
Fae offered a smile and a 'good morning'. Vic almost looked up at me, before his eyes fall on Fae, and then back on the TV. I suddenly felt cold. No. I wasn't supposed to feel like that anymore!
Just like Vic, I acted as if nothing was going on, and slid onto the love seat and watched the film in silence with them.
After some time, Ms. Alexa joined us. Her hair was wet, but she was attempting to dry it with a towel. She must be using some sort of holiday shampoo because she smelled of sugar cookies. It made me hungry. Or maybe she just always smelled like sweets and I hadn't noticed.
"What are you couch potatoes doing?" She asks the three of us.
"Come on, get up. We've got some stuff to do today." She encouraged us all to get up from the couch and get ready for the day, not that any of us wanted to. It felt like a stay-in kind of day, but it was evident that Ms. Alexa felt differently.
By the time we had all gotten ready, it was around 2 in the afternoon. Ms. Alexa had us doing all sorts of stuff around the house: cleaning, decorating, or baking. Christmas was still a while away, but she was acting as if the entire village was coming to celebrate tonight. While the siblings cleaned and decorated the inside of the house, I offered to bake with Ms. Alexa. It just seemed like the chore that required less work.
"Have you got all your shopping done, Kellin?" Ms. Alexa asks while I mix in some dry ingredients for our gingerbread.
"Almost" I respond. I only bought 3 gifts this year. One is a blanket of the Denver Broncos for Gabe. One are a few dresses for Cassie, and the last is a simple butterfly necklace for Kathy. That present took me longer to purchase. I didn't know if it was okay to get my mom a present or not. I wasn't sure if I would even be seeing her again. I didn't even know if she liked butterflies! But I figured girls like that kind of stuff.
I hadn't bought Vic a present because we just didn't do that. Sure, we did it when we were younger, but as we got older and lived on our own, we realized how awkward it was. But now Vic and I are like a thing, and I don't know if that changes the game. Am I supposed to get him something? And what would I even get him? Also, I now needed to get a present for Fae and Ms. Alexa.
"Have you gotten Vic's gift yet?" She asks. I simply shake my head.
"What do you think you are going to get him?" her face glows with anticipation, like I am one of her friends she is gossiping with.
"I don't know," I say. "got any ideas?"
"Me?" She said, "you're the one who knows him best." She said with a side smile that was almost ominous. "Well, Fae and I were going to do some shopping later, if you want to come."
Shopping during the same week of Christmas is a death wish, but I've really have no choice. I don't even know what to get. God, I hate Christmas.
--
A few hours pass and the sun begins to fall at an impossibly early time that brings this understandable, seasonal sadness. I know that this happens every year, but every time it comes around, it still manages to take me by surprise.
During this time, Ms. Alexa rushses Vic and outside to string some lights. Compared to the neighboring apartments, ours was especially bare, so we gave in and did what we were sent for.
"God, it's freezing out here," I say after like 5 seconds. Vic scoffs, trying to seem macho against the cold, but I can see him shaking. He plugs the lights in, and they come to life in red and green. Vic then begins feeding the lights to me in a way to get them detangled. But as time passes, my fingers become numb and useless, so I loosely drape the lights being given to me around my neck so I can stuff my hands in my pocket. When the lights have finished, Vic looks up at my lit up self.
"What are you doing?" He laughs.
"I was cold." I shiver. Vic doesn't scold me like I think he will, instead he steps forward, pulls me by the lights to meet him, and presses his warm lips against my freezing ones. As we kiss I wonder how he is still so warm in this weather. Reflecting reds and greens, Vic guides me back against the wall of our apartment. The air is crisp and silent around us. Vic feeds me warmth and I swallow it down, desperately.
"I missed you," he breathes, even though I haven't gone anywhere, and he is the one distancing himself.
I just nod against him, not having anything to say, and wanting more of his lips. We kiss and exchange understanding needs. and we just kiss and kiss and and and...
I hold him close and Vic more so just presses himself against me and the wall, and yet it still doesn't feel like enough. All too soon, the apartment door opens, and Vic steps away from me like I am an electric fence; alive and shooting. It takes a moment for Ms. Alexa's eyes to find us, as she looks around the outside of the apartment with a frown.
"You two sure do work slow. I was hoping you could get this done before we leave."
"Where are you going?" Vic asks his mom.
"Christmas shopping." I say for her.
"You're going too?" He questions and I nod. "Well, was anyone going to tell me?" He asks, offended.
"Do you want to come?" His mom asks him.
"Yeah, that would be nice." He answers, hostile.
It is especially cold tonight and the temperature only drops with time. Downtown where we are shopping is splattered with Christmas lights that shine off the skin of everyone around. Everyone is rushing into stores, trying to find the right gift for their loved ones. I can hardly feel my nose, and even with my hands shoved into my pockets, they still ache from the cold. I desperately want to close up with Vic who is walking beside me. I want to share a coat with him and our warmth. but Fae and Ms. Alexa are walking not too far away and I know Vic doesn't want them to know about us. So I keep a distance from Vic and continue on, trying to find something for Fae and Ms. Alexa to open on Christmas morning. But that is easier said than done because as soon as I had landed a job and turned 18, Vic and I moved away and we hadn't seen his sister or mom much since. So I have no idea what they would like.
I drag Vic with me into a random store to look around. Vic's cheeks are flushed pink from the cold and his lips are chapped. I'm sure I reflect something similar. "I keep telling myself I'm on the beach in July," I share with Vic which makes him laugh. It is so loud and full of life, it makes me beam and causes surrounding shoppers to stare. what I said wasn't even funny, but Vic laughs and that lights me up. I swear I want to tell him I love him.
Eventually I just buy the girls some nice smelling perfume, because everyone likes smelling nice, right? and Vic gets his mom a lovely purse and Fae brilliant books because she is a total bookworm. Then when Vic wasn't around, I find an antique shop and score something for him. I am still unsure if we are doing gifts or not. I don't know if Vic will be giving me anything on Christmas, but that is okay. I think I would have bought this for Vic anyways. It is so nice, I might even steal it from him for myself.
Once we all meet back up after shopping, we go back home and drink some boozed up eggnog and have some of the gingerbread that Ms. Alexa made .We share stories that I had almost dared forget about. All my happy feeling are booming inside of me, I beg them to whisper but I know it won't happen. I'm radiating joy, it is almost obnoxious. I hadn't realized how much I miss being around family like this.