adult/parent au
———
"Koushi, how could you?" Your voice was hoarse as you spoke, more like a whisper. Your body was shaking, devastation and anger filling your brain as you felt your heart slowly yet deeply sinking. Tears continuously fell from your tired eyes. You were a mess, your shared room was a mess, your relationship with him was a mess, a complete horrible mess.
"Y/N." The gray haired tried to come near you but you automatically moved back."I-I'm sorry." He whispered as the formed tears in his eyes finally fell.
"No you're not!" You said. "You're not sorry. You've been cheating on me for a month, how the fuck are you sorry!?"
Never in your five years relationship had you thought about your boyfriend, Sugawara Koushi cheating on you... yet he did. For the past two months, your relationship with him had been dull. You knew it was half your fault for you were really focused on your career than anything these past few months. Still, it wasn't a proper reason for him to be in a secret relationship with another girl.
Sure you were busy with your work, but you would always try your hardest to find time for Suga, giving him his needs. You loved him so damn much that you'd sometimes stay awake at 2am even though you're really tired and have to wake up in four hours just so you can have the sweet little late night talks with him that you really adore.
You loved him, he loved you... and another woman too. The pain you felt was indescribably intense. It hurt you so bad and he knew, little did you know it was killing him too. The sight of you crying, the thought of how the pain you were feeling was because of his mistakes, it was all torture to him.
"I made a huge mistake." He finally caught your hand and held it like it was his whole word. "I know that a sorry wouldn't change anything, I cheated, I gave in to the temptation. But it was lust that I felt for her, nothing but lust. You're the only one I love, Y/N." You couldn't move, you didn't feel anything but pain, giving him a chance to cup your cheeks and wipe the tears that he caused. "Please, I'm sorry. I really am."
You looked at Sugawara and stared deeply into his eyes. You saw sincerity, regret, pain, and desperation in them, but those feelings wouldn't ever change the fact that he slept with another woman.
Surely at that moment, your emotions were much, much stronger than anything. And thus, your emotions had lead you onto a decision. "I'm sorry too, Koushi." You removed his hand from your face and hesitantly said "But I'm leaving."
His eyes widened, his grip around your hand loosened from the shock, giving you the chance to finally walk away. You covered your mouth to prevent yourself from making such sad sounds. You then put your other hand on your stomach, feeling the life that you and Sugawara had created which was still unknown to him, and you wanted to stay that way. "We're going to be okay." You whispered gently, comforting yourself and your future child.
——
"You're my secret santa!?" Hinata exclaimed, his brows furrowing in confusion, making the blackette in front of him blush.
"J-Just take the gift, boke!" Kageyama stuttered as he literally throw the surprisingly neatly wrapped present. The red head caught it without a problem.
Sugawara laughed at his two former underclassmen for being as hyper as they were in high school. The former karasuno volleyball team was having their christmas reunion party at Daichi and Yui Sawamura's place. Of course, a christmas party wouldn't be a real christmas party without the good'ol secret santa. The twelve of them were formed in a circle on the floor as if they were still teenagers having a slumber party.
"Okay, Hinata, your turn." Daichi said.
The successful youtuber then stood up with a gift in hand and approached the man who just spoke. "Merry Christmas, Daichi-san." Hinata said with a nervous smile –for he wasn't really good with picking gifts– as he gave the present to their former captain.
"Ah. I knew it." Daichi said with a smirk after Hinata sat down.
"Daichi-san, what!?"
"You ranted so much on twitter about how you had no idea what to give your 'second dad' for secret santa."
Hinata blushed in embarrassment when Kageyama spoke. "Hinata, you social media dumbass!"
Everyone was having a great time, even Sugawara. Though, his thoughts were still occupied by something else. You.
It had been five years since you left. He didn't have a clue where you went or what you had been up to these past few years. He tried to move on but the past kept on hunting him. The thought of you crying still made his heart sting. He thought perhaps it was only guilty that he was feeling. But he was also missing you, your smile, laugh, your lips and how it gave him the sweetest kisses, the cuddles you gave, he definitely missed you. And surely, Suga's feelings for you was still there. He wanted to forget you, but on the other hand, he knew you were the only woman in the entire universe who could make him happy.
His thoughts were then interrupted by Daichi's words. "As his secret santa, I have a very special gift for Suga." The gray haired flinched and tilted his head when Daichi grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. The phone rang three times before someone answered and then he gave it to Sugawara.
"Is he giving his old phone to Suga-san?" Tanaka whispered to Noya.
The shorter man covered his mouth to prevent himself from laughing. The two idiots then received a glare from their former captain, causing them to stiffen.
The whole room was silent until Sugawara put the phone by his ear and spoke. "Hello?"
"Hello." A gentle female voice answered, making the man's eyes widened. He felt his heart skip a beat when the voice spoke again. "Hey, Ko–Suga." He knew that voice so well, he had heard it sing, speak, mumble, yawn, whine, and say those three words that he badly wanted to hear from her again, from you.
"Y-Y/N?" His voice was shaking, eyes watering as he said your name once again after quite a long time.
Suga heard you chuckle lightly. "You remember my voice?"
"How could I forget." He smiled widely as the formed tears in his eyes finally fell.
Everyone in the room looked at each other when they heard your name for they were rather surprised than confused. Except for Daichi of course who was wearing a sincere smile of happiness for one of his best friends.
"Hey, Suga. Do me a favor?"
"Hmm?" He responded as he wiped his tears.
"Go upstairs."
Sugawara paused for a moment in confusion before looking at Daichi. He was about to ask permission to go upstairs but the said man cut him off. "Go. And good luck." It was like he knew what he was going to say. He probably did.
The former setter then gave Daichi back his phone. Everyone watched him nervously walked upstairs and when he got there, his body froze, seeing you leaning your back on one of the small hallway's doors with a phone in hand.
Your hair was shorter/longer, your body changed yet he thought you were still as beautiful as ever. You then fixed your posture, put the phone back to your pocket, and faced him properly as he approached you.
"Hey." You gave him the warm smile that he truly missed.
Suga stood in front of you in awe, his mouth slightly opened, tears falling once again. "Y/N. Y-You're here." He smiled.
"Yeah." You couldn't find the right words to say. You just stared at him, studying his features, his movements, his smile. He was still the Sugawara that you once loved, that you still love. That thought brought you into tears. You still love him, how could you still love him after everything that he had done? How could you still love him after all these years?
Your thoughts then were interrupted by him suddenly pulling you into his arms. Your eyes widened and his hug tightened. "I missed you. I missed you so bad." Suga whispered, burying his face onto the gap between your neck and shoulder.
Unaware of it, your arms then slowly wrapped his torso as you felt his warmth. His scent giving you intense nostalgia, bringing back all the happiest memories you had with him. You then felt more tears streaming down your face as he pulled away.
"Where have you been?" He asked.
"Far away." You answered. "I'll tell you about it after I give my christmas gift to you."
"A gift?"
You nodded, facing the door you were leaning on just a minute ago. "I'm not sure if you'll be glad to have this kind of gift for it is kind of surprising." You smiled at him widely before opening the door and nodding to Sugawara, motioning him to follow you.
You and the gray haired male entered the room. His breathing stopped for a moment when he saw a child sleeping on a bed. He noticed how she had the same hair color as him and he felt his heart beating faster. You then sat on the bed beside the said child and gently brushed away some of her hair covering her face.
He approached the two of you nervously, his heart pounding on his chest like crazy.
"Suga, meet Kazuha." You said quietly, looking at him.
He took a deep breath before speaking. "Is she... mine?"
You looked down and nodded, biting your lower lip as you looked at your daughter again. "Ours."
You expected him to walk away but instead, he sat on the other side of the bed and looked at yours and his daughter with the happiest smile. The thought of having a family with you, being a father, it filled Sugawara's mind as he stared at Kazuha, noticing how she had the same features of his face, making his heart melt. But his smile then slowly faded when he thought about how hard it must've been raising a child on your own. He wasn't there to take care of you when you were pregnant, he wasn't there when you gave birth, he wasn't there to help you when your baby was crying in the middle of the night, he wasn't there, and that made his heart ache so bad.
"How old is she?" Suga asked softly.
You noticed the pain in his voice and sighed. "Five years old."
"I can't believe I wasn't there for you, for the both of you for five years." He then looked at you and you avoided his gaze, feeling intense guilt.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was hurt and afraid. I was scared of my feelings for you, I wanted to forget about it, forget about you." You said, your voice shaking as you wiped your tears. "I was selfish and kept our daughter to myself. I'm really sorry."
He let out a sad chuckle. "I understand. What I did to you ruined our relationship, it was an unspeakably horrible mistake and it still hunts me to this very day. But thank you for coming back, Y/N. Though... will you give me another chance?"
Your body stiffened at his sudden question. "Koushi..." You accidentally called him by his first name which made his heart flutter. "It's been five years, do you still love me?" You asked, staring deeply into his eyes.
"I do. I love you, Y/N." You saw nothing but honesty, sincerity, and love in those beautiful eyes of his as he said those words.
"The feeling's mutual. But..." You took a deep breath to prevent yourself from crying harder. "I'm only giving you a chance as a father."
"What about us?"
"Us is not impossible. But I'm still terrified." You looked away. "I-I don't want to experience that kind of pain again. I'm sorry, Koushi, but I don't think I'm ready to trust you."
"Then I'll try my best to bring it back."
Your looked at him again. "What?"
"I'll prove to you that I'm not the same man who hurt you five years ago. I'll love you like you never felt the pain."
You couldn't help but chuckle. "You're as cheesy as ever."
The former setter's heart then felt warm, seeing that enchanting smile once again. "And you're as beautiful as ever, Y/N."
Your heart fluttered at his words as you stared at him and your smile turned into a small yet soft one. You then felt your daughter move and both you and Suga looked at her as she slowly opened her eyes, revealing her E/C orbs. He watched his daughter turned her head to look at her mother and he couldn't help but smile at how cute she was.
"Hey, sweetie." You whispered, kissing her head gently. "Need anything?"
"I need to potty." The five year old said sleepily.
Sugawara then chuckled at his adorable daughter and she turned her head to look at him. Kazuha then sat up, rubbing her eyes.
"Mister, you kinda look like me." Was her first words to him and you let out a small laugh.
"Looks like santa gave you your wish already." You said to the child and Suga raised an eyebrow.
The little girl gasped and quickly hugged the gray haired. "Dad!"
Sugawara didn't hesitate to hug his daughter back for the first time. He felt pure joy and warm, finally feeling his little girl in his arms. "Kazuha."
"Kazu have been wanting to meet her dad for quite a long time now. It's been on her wishlist since she learned about santa claus. Good thing she was put on the nice list and santa gave her wish." You explained to him, giving the man a wink for you knew your daughter could hear you and he laughed.
"And santa did a gweat job bringing you here, dad! You're the best gift ever." Kazuha said with a wide smile, still hugging her father.
"No, Kazuha." Sugawara turned his attention from his daughter then to you, feeling so much happiness that butterflies filled his stomach. "You and your mother are the best gifts ever."
———
Well that's a little rushed. I'll make a part two though so look forward to that :)