I'd like to think that I had matured, grown and escaped the crippling anxiety and boulders of doubt that would settle in my lungs since I was a teenager. I'd had my rough patches since I left secondary school but it didn't stop me from developing into a responsible adult who tried their best at everything. Major detail: Responsible. However, all the confidence and self-esteem that I had gained over the past decade was thrown out of the window today.
"Hope just keep calm, we're going to get there on time," Fred laced his fingers with mine and intensely gazed at the traffic jam around us.
"Telling me to keep calm makes me even more nervous," my comment made him chuckle and squeeze my hand tighter.
"It's a midnight book release party- the midnight release party. You know, the one you've been dreaming of since you were a bloody toddler,"
"That's exactly why I'm nervous," I inhaled deeply. "What if it doesn't go the way I want it to or people don't like the book or-"
"You can't always control what's happening around you- you've just got to trust the people there and believe in yourself that you won't stumble over a chocolate fountain or accidentally swear in front of a bunch of people," that earned him a glare. "Besides, you know the amount of time and work you've put in this whole series. You've missed out on so much in your social life that it's only fair you enjoy the night."
"Thanks,"
He untangled his hand from mine to move the shift grip and the car surged forward. I missed the warmth of his hand but crossed my arms and stared out of the window.
I'm not going to lie and say that Fred and I have the perfect relationship and that we knew we were soul mates or anything right from the get-go. We'd had a pretty rocky relationship during college and university when I was putting all of my free time into writing the rest of the books in the "Gorgon's Blood" series. It was tough but we both came out stronger and now he's the person who best understands my weird writing habits and supports me to no end.
Fred turned up the music and looked at me expectantly but I didn't budge.
"I can't jam out at the moment," I said and he gave me a mock pout.
"Damn, I was hoping you would show your socks off to the dog in the car in front of us,"
I looked up and sure enough, there was a Beagle thoughtfully staring at us. I sunk further into my seat and flashed the pads of my feet at him before Fred snorted.
"Happy?"
"Extremely."
The time increased and I kept looking at my phone and the setting sun outside. I would've never thought that the road would be so busy on a Saturday evening. I sagged with relief when we arrived at the car park of the venue and got out of the car to get a breath of fresh air and calm my thumping heart.
"There they are!" Amy called out and I ran to give her an embrace. Mum, Dad and Katherine followed and each of them gave me huge beams. "Oh My Lord this is actually happening Hopie!"
"I know," I squealed.
"Good job sis," Martin came from behind Amy and gave me a side hug before glaring at me. "Although I must say that I hate you for what you did to my favourite character."
"Sorry,"
"OH MY GOD HOPE HOPE THE DAY HAS BLOODY COME!" I whirled around to see Grace running up to us and jumping in one spot as her grin extended from ear to ear. Faith, Love and Prudence were right behind her, holding each other for support because they were laughing hysterically.
"Alright own up: Who gave Grace a tonne of sugar?" Fred mumbled and a laugh escaped my lips.
A laugh rumbled across our group and I felt my apprehension ease from the slight bit of humour. The other girls were just as enthusiastic and Faith even teared up a bit before giving me the tightest bear hug known to man. "You'll slay this book, just you wait. The internet will be blowing up with spoilers by the time you wake up tomorrow."
"It'll probably be Prudence spreading all those spoilers," Love commented before glancing at her glowing twin.
"It's not my fault you have the reading pace of a snail,"
"You b-"
"Woah calm down tiger! We have five year olds listening to this conversation," I averted my attention to the little girl whose ears were covered by Faith's hands.
Faith was the first one out of us five to have children, two girls called Sierra and Kara, one was six years old and the other was five. Technically, she had a third child, her step-son named Kingsley who she loved as equally as the girls.
"Where are Sierra, Kingsley and David?" I looked around the car park.
"They're on their way. We've got an hour to get ready so I think it would be wise to head inside," Faith grabbed Kara's small hand and took her to the changing room. The rest of my family went to get coffee and sit down in the hall where the interview would happen. "Kara, sit down like a good girl and don't touch anything but Mummy's phone, OK?" Kara nodded and Faith patted her blonde head before stalking up to the wardrobe. I doubt she didn't see the twinkle in her daughter's blue moon eyes; Faith knew her children like the back of her hand.
"OK, we need to find an outfit that screams 'Hi, I am the author of the amazing book in your hands and although I was a grumpy zombie while writing it, I still look fabulous'. Any ideas?" Love opened the wardrobe and looked at the outfits she'd brought to choose from.
"How about this?" Fred brought out a tight-fitting black dress and I shook my head.
"Fred, honey, I don't think a tight-fitting dress that's meant for a bar is appropriate for a midnight release party," he pouted as I waved my hand at the dress and he sat down next to Kara and patted her head.
"Why is everyone patting my head?" Kara squeaked, looking up at all of us. "I'm not a dog, OK?"
"Fae I think your child is going through toddler puberty," Grace grinned and patted Kara's blonde head to annoy her.
"OK, I think I found something," she brought out a striped black and white shirt with a black blazer and a knee-length grey skirt. "It's professional and classy."
"Perfect, that'll do," I agreed with the girls and they turned to Fred.
"What?" Fred looked at them innocently.
"Get out of the room Freddiekins,"
"What she's my fiancée, I've already-"
"Just go out," Love chuckled and he pouted again.
"Fine I'll get my fiancée and her horrible friends some coffee," he ran his hands through his hair before grabbing his wallet out of his leather jacket and leaving the room.
I changed into the outfit and pulled my hair into a ponytail before I let Love do my makeup. I couldn't even grip a makeup brush properly because my hands were shaking so much and I felt like I was on the verge of shutting down.
"Look, it's all going to be good, OK?" Prudence comforted and Grace nodded. "This last book of the series is awesome, it's going to do well and it's one of the most anticipated book of the year. You're going to do completely fine."
"Thank you," I said and checked the time. The door opened and Fred came in, balancing a few plastic cups of coffee on a tray and an orange juice for Kara.
"David and the kids are here," he said to Faith and she balanced Kara on her hip before leaving the changing room to meet her husband and children.
"Girls, we need to see where the other guys have gone before we sit down," Love motioned for Prudence and Grace to leave the changing room after taking the humongous makeup bag she'd brought along. That left just me and Fred in the room.
"So, this is it," he said and looked at the pile of four books on the desk. "Thirteen years worth of work on this series and tonight you're releasing the last book."
"I feel like every fibre in my body is running at a mile in different directions," I said and took a gulp of the strong coffee.
His eyes flickered to my red lips and only moments later I found myself in his warm embrace, my lips on his and his on mine. His arms snacked to my waist and I settled my hands on the back of his neck to bring him closer. Fire exploded in my chest and made my cells run even faster but this time I didn't mind it. His cologne filled my nostrils and I wanted to inhale it before he broke away and his brilliant brown eyes searched mine. "That was for good luck."
I leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "That was a thank you."
He grinned and I found myself beaming along as I clipped a choker round my neck. My 'emo phase' never ended, according to Fred and Amy. We drank down the last of the coffee and left the changing room, him giving my hand a squeeze before leaving to sit down in the audience.
"Ten, nine, eight," the audience counted and I pulled down on my blazer and skirt. "Seven, six, five, four," I took a deep breath and a lady at the wings of the stage gave me a smile and a thumbs up. "Three, two, one! Let's give a warm welcome to Hope Febland everybody!"
The crowd went mental and I made my way onto the stage, a million-watts smile making its way on my lips as I shook hands with the interviewer and sat down in an armchair.
"Happy Book Birthday!" the crowd screamed and I felt tears glaze my eyes before the interviewer calmed down the audience and passed me a microphone.
"Welcome Hope!" she greeted and I beamed once again, looking at the audience.
"Thank you Helen. Hello everyone," I waved at the crowd and more excited screams filled my ear drums.
"Wow the day has finally come!" Helen clapped her hands. "The long awaited release of 'Goddess' Tears' will finally be in stores after a year's wait. How do you feel about all the excitement surrounding the book these past few months?"
"Oh, it's been incredible! I've been seeing so many edits, memes and predictions all over social media and it has been amusing to see what my readers think will happen to Lina and her friends," I looked at the screenshots shown on a Smart Board above us. The audience laughed at some of the comments. "It's been weird to see the covers of all four books plastered across the windows of Waterstones and WHSmiths but it's also been unbelievable."
"The marketing team sure did a very good job at the posters and banners," Helen commented and I nodded. "Now, I know you've told us before that you started working on the series when you were fourteen and now you're finishing the series at age twenty-seven. How are the final drafts different from the first drafts and what kind of writer were you as a teenager?"
"I was a very bad writer as a teenager. I was inconsistent with my writing habits, I gave up on some plot points easily and my planning wasn't very thorough. I have to say, my first drafts were just shovelling sand into the ground; they were pretty much an over-written prose and I didn't reread much before the editing began and I realised that I needed to cut out a few things and polish up the language."
"I think that's the way we all start,"
The interview went on for quite a while, with several spoilery questions and secrets about the new book that I was careful to talk about. I could see Love elbowing Prudence in the audience and I stifled my laughter when Prudence rubbed her arm and glared back at Love.
"Final question," Helen prepared the crowd for the last question of the interview before I would go on and sign copies of the book. "Why are the acknowledgments written in the format of a poem?"
I smiled at the question and picked up my microphone. "Before I really started novelling, I was more of a poetry type of girl. I shared my poems on the website where I shared "Gorgon's Blood' and "Sphinx's Riddle"- the first two books in the series- and I got encouragement from my friend who sadly died when I was fourteen. She supported my terrible poetry to the end and it was her work that inspired the Greek Mythology aspect of the series. My family, friends and fiance also supported my poetry so I thought it would be a good throwback to revisit the good old poetry days."
"Thank you," Helen smiled warmly before looking at the audience. "The interview is over and now we'll have a fifteen minute break before the signing begins. Let's have a round of applause for Hope Febland everyone,"
The crows was defeaning as I stood up from my seat and waved at the audience before sauntering over to my changing room where I met up with my family.
"You did great," Mum wiped her tears and gave me a tight hug. Fred spread his arms out and I went in for an embrace, closing my eyes and tucking my head in the crook of his neck before breaking away and hugging the girls.
"THAT INTERVIEW SLAYED OH MY GOD!" Grace jumped up and down and tried to quietly scream as to not wake up the sleeping Kara in Faith's arms.
"Thank you," I turned to everyone. "Thank you all for your support and for believing in me."
It's funny how far you can get in the space of thirteen years. I had no idea what would happen to me in the future, all I knew was that I no longer wanted to be constantly sad and caring about what people thought of me. But it was that night when my brain reminded me why I chose the path to happiness and hard work on that one afternoon at the beach and I could never be more grateful that I stuck through to the road of positivity.
A/N That's the epilogue folks! I'll admit, it's not the best thing in the world and I did do more telling than showing but that was only because there was such a large year gap between the end of the book and this. I was nervous to release this because the relationship between Fred and Hope is so different but I hope you enjoyed this small snippet of their adult.
Also, can we talk about Kara for a lil' bit? She will be one of the main characters in my 2017 book which means you'll get to see Faith as a Mum! I don't know whether I will post Kara's book on Wattpad, mostly because I'm not sure whether it will turn out well.
Song for this chapter is Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix. There's no mention of Jarrett in this chapter but I feel like this song contrasts fourteen year-old Hope and her feelings compared to twenty-seven year-old Hope. Also, Glory Days is amazing and I had to include one of the songs in this book (my favourites are No More Sad Songs, Your Love and Touch). I've had problems with my computer and internet today so I don't know how I'm going to get the work for 5 Days of Christmas done but I will try. Make sure to come back tomorrow if you want to read the first short story, "I'm Fine" which is all about Faith Raynott. With that, farewell "The Dumped Club"!
Antoana