"You said you love me, Vivian."
Silence.
He would have no other choice but to hang up when he notices I have no reply. Unable to speak, I nervously pushed my fingers through my hair.
"Hello? Vivian?" He tried again. "I know you can hear me." He was certainly unprepared to give up.
God, it couldn't be normal for a heart to beat this fast. I was struggling internally with myself. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure what to say. Perhaps I should hang up. Oh go no! I should simply be decent and just give him an answer.
Struggling to get my bearings, I finally said, "Right." Followed by another long pause. "Well...I'm just glad your ear works. Now if you'll excuse me. I have some moving to do."
"What?" He seemed shocked. "We need to talk."
"I'm not sure I feel like talking to you at the moment."
What had he expected? Did he really think I'd be gushing over how crazy he drives me and running back into his arms. Surely not after last night.
Exhaling, he said, "Vivian I get it. I was an arse and you're angry with me. Rightfully so."
"Seems like the latest trend around here." I eyed Aaron as I picked up my bag and approached the front door. "Look I have to run. Bye." I hung up before he could get another word in.
§
It seemed quite bizarre the way people's lives could change in the space of months. I'd moved twice, lost my git of a boyfriend, my lovely flat and flat mate. My happy life had crumbled before my eyes like sugar cubes dropped in hot tea and I had no one to blame but myself.
Having called it a night in a huff, I spent the next few hours on Natasha's uncomfortable, itchy sofa, tossing and turning and listening to the noisy traffic continuing outside the window.
Thanks to Natasha, I wasn't on the streets with my belongings, waiting till I heard back from the letting agents I'd contacted. Although between Tasha and I, we had done a fair amount of unpacking, and it had been kind of her to give me a place to stay, I couldn't get too comfortable. Who knew when next I'd be forced to pack my belongings and find somewhere else to rest my hair.
Gritting my teeth in exasperation, I resisted the urge to bawl my eyes out. I flipped over me pillow and punched it into shape. It was quieting down now, and still I couldn't sleep.
Three o'clock came and went.
Then four. And five.
I couldn't help but wonder what Harry was doing now.
He would most likely be out for the count, obviously. Like any normal person. Possibly with Jane, I was reminded. I needed to face reality, the chances that he was lying awake fretting about me were an unequivocal nil.
§
The next morning I didn't wake up until gone twelve, partly because I was exhausted but chiefly because my alarm clock was still packed away in one of the boxes I hadn't got round to tackling yet. The good news was that I had three days off work, so it didn't matter.
Once I'd showered and dressed in black jeans and a charcoal sweatshirt, I threw on my white flip-flops and got on with the unpacking.
At two o'clock, Natasha called from work to see how I was getting on. At fifteen past three, I stopped for a packet of digestive biscuits and two cups of tea. By four thirty I had a collection of cardboard boxes, emptied and collapsed and ready to go out for recycling. Twenty minutes later, in the middle of a complicated battle to get the cover on my duvet, there was a hasty knock on the door.
Struggling backwards on my knees out of the duvet cover, I skidded across the hall and pulled the door open, prepared to tell Natasha to stop forgetting her keys on the kitchen top.
Oh good grief.
"Vivian." His green eyes surveyed me. He looked more disheveled than I could've ever imagined, but it didn't stop my body from reacting to his beautiful face—that breathtakingly pained face staring back at me. Almost instantly, I felt my heart drumming within my chest, felt the tiny beads of sweat crawl across every pore on my skin, and felt every hair on my body stand on end.
Harry.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" My tone was curt. "How did you know I was here?"
I'd spent the best part of the last three days trying to forget him. I knew I hadn't been able to forget him—because truthfully I couldn't manage to it—but I made every effort to put him out of my mind.
"I didn't. I just thought to try. Well," He said awkwardly. As he paused, I realised there wasn't time to pause.
"Well what?"
"OK. I've been planning this for the past three days, so can I please just say it?"
I had no response to that.
"Viv, I'm sorry. I can't believe what I did yesterday and through the time that we've known each other. I'm truly sorry." His expression was deadly serious. "I missed you terribly after you moved out, I missed you a lot. It drove me insane. I was out of my mind. But there was nothing I could do. You wanted to be with Aaron, not me. You chose to be him, not me...and I honestly thought that you'd never choose me."
He took a step closer. I swallowed. I was starting to tremble and my eyes were feeling dangerously hot. My fingers and toes were feeling numb.
"I was an idiot. God, I was a fool. I made a horrible mistake last night, letting you go." He was almost touching me now. "I can see that now. I don't care about anyone else but you."
"Does this mean that Jane dumped you?" I couldn't help it; the question popped out.
"The opposite. I told her it was never meant to be. I couldn't give her your room. I don't want her to be there, I don't want anyone that isn't you to be there. I don't care if I have to pay twice the rent to keep the place empty because everyone else pales in comparison. They just aren't you."
I wanted to scream at the top of my voice that he had the fucking nerve. I couldn't believe he has such a low opinion of me that he thinks I'd even consider his attempt at winning me back. I wished I could tell him to sod off and never bother me again. But it wasn't that simple.
My vision blurred with tears. Crying seemed a weird thing to be on the brink of doing, under the circumstances. I'd never imagined that Harry might do anything like this. But he had, and he cared about me, and he really and truly wanted me back. Into the flat, at least.
Stupid, I was being stupid. I cleared my throat, blinked hard until Harry's face swam back into focus, and asked, "If I told you to go away and leave me alone, would you do it?"
"No." He answered with a shake of his head. "I'd stay and try to change your mind." Pausing, he added, "Actually that's not true. I'm going to stay until you change your mind."
"You bloody prick. Leave my flat this instant!" exclaimed Natasha, walking towards Harry and I in quick steps. "Haven't you done enough already?"
"Natasha," Harry started but she shut him down.
"She isn't interested. Go fuck yourself."
"Natasha, please listen." He tried again.
"I don't care to listen to anything you want to say." Natasha was scornful. "You destroyed her relationship with Aaron and chased her away from her own goddamn flat in the first place. Now leave!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Harry's voice rose. "I'm here to fucking apologise."
Annoyed that they now appeared to be discussing me as if I wasn't even here, I said, "The both of you please stop this."
Natasha shook her head in disgust. "I want you to leave. Now. This is my flat."
"I'd leave but first," he turned to me. The look of sadness and resignation on his face clutched at my heart. "Vivian, I love you. I mean I really love you. I've loved you from the start, long before anyone else. You're the best thing that's happened to me since...God, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
He didn't wait to hear anything I had to say, which was good because I had none.
But before shutting the front door behind him, he looked back at me one last time with his eyes glistening and said, "I just needed to let you know that. Goodnight."
Lump in my throat, I turned and saw tears trickling down Natasha's cheeks.