The Flat

23

Literally feeling frozen to my spot, I couldn't move as I stared at Natasha wiping away her tears.

"I suppose I was foolish enough to think he'd loved me. Even for the tiniest of seconds," she started, her voice edging on angry. "I thought I'd be the special one. I waited patiently for him to realise that I wasn't like all the other girls who lost their shot at him. I had thought that he'll come running to me when you finally decided on Aaron but I guess it was just sex between us." She managed a feeble smile.

"Natasha," I whispered because I didn't know what to say.

I started to move to her but she stepped back, her hurt turning to anger.  She quickly narrowed her eyes on me before saying with contempt, "He chose you!"

My heart seized and then started racing as though it was about to burst right through my rib cage. Fumbling for words, I wrapped my arms around my waist and bit my lip hard to control my tears. My gaze reflectively dropped to the ground, my mind racing as I searched for something to say.

"He had no intention of loving me, he was already in love with you."

"I didn't know," I whispered this time because that was all I could muster and the tears began to fall. Sinking onto the sofa, I clutched my hands tightly together to stop them trembling. My palms were damp.

Natasha lifted her head and exhaled towards the ceiling. I felt a pang of guilt and betrayal as I watched her carefully. She loved him and I had gotten in the way of that. My guilt should stop me from wanting to go after Harry so badly but it wasn't.

Bringing her attention back to me, Natasha placed a hand on her hip and said, "Well, what are you waiting for?" Her voice sounded strained.

I blinked back my tears, but I knew I looked and sounded defeated when I whispered. "What?"

"Go."

I was absolutely confused.

"I mean it. Go after him. You love him, don't you?"

"I," I started and had to take a deep breath.

Natasha tipped her head a bit, "You're worrying about me, you shouldn't, I'll get over it, I suppose." She gave me a tragic look before carding her fingers through her hair. "I'm a tough girl, I know when to back down. By the time I'm fifty I'll be absolutely fine."

I remained sat in the same spot. Still dazzled.

"For god sakes go already, Vivian!" She finally yelled.

And I jumped to my feet. Grabbing my jacket, I rushed out the front door and hurried down the two flight of stairs. Harry couldn't have got so far. The slapping of my flip flops against the heel of my feet interspersed with the sound of my rapid breathing. I couldn't help thinking with relief that if Natasha was able to joke about this clusterfuck, things were probably going to be all right.

The warm evening breeze hit me immediately I got outside. Despite the heat, goosebumps had pinged out all over my arms.

"Harry! Harry!" I began to scream as I searched the street for any signs of his unruly curls. Nothing. I couldn't see him. Anyone on the streets in Croydon could be named Harry and yet here I was screaming at the top of my lungs and earning strange stares. I wiped my clammy palms on my black jeans as I thought of where he could possibly be headed.

Deciding to go to my former flat, I turned on my heel and began to run in the opposite direction. Halfway down the street I saw the outline of a figure in the shadows, a figure with messy hair leaning against the far wall of the darkened alley. And I stopped, sighing with relief.

"Harry?" I called but quickly realised it wasn't him. The scruffily dressed lad was having a smoke. "Sorry." I muttered and turned around, walking back to Natasha's flat.

I felt terrible.

Harry must be thinking I don't love him. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. I couldn't even attempt to ring Harry because I hadn't remembered to take my phone with me as I ran outside. I was dreading going back to face Natasha at the moment. The only person I wanted to see right now was no where to be found.

By the time I got to front of Natasha's old brick building, I felt like the little piece of my heart that had been left after Aaron was now shattered into a million tiny pieces, scattered somewhere along the short trip back. As I rounded the stairs, I was forced to stop in my tracks from the sight in front of me. He stopped as well, stood mid stairs, staring down at me at the foot of the staircase. His face was painfully impassive.

Now that I had found him I didn't know what to say. My heart clenched at the stretch of silence that was beginning to take hold in the air around us. Then, because I couldn't help it and I had missed him so much it was bordering on unbearable, I moved closer to him, a few steps up the stairs, pushed up on my tiptoes, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. My eyes closed as his heat radiated over my body.

He lifted his hands, burrowing his fingers tight around my waist. I felt his lips brush against the crown of my head and heard him suck in a steeling breath, but before I could open my eyes, he let go.

I was so sick of crying, but I blinked back my tears and said, "I thought you'd left."

He cleared his throat but didn't say a word, shaking his head instead. His gaze felt intense. He was watching me carefully. I dropped my head to the side, but Harry found my chin and gently lifted my face.

With my heart pounding, I gathered my courage, stared up into his eyes and let the words fall softly from my mouth. "I love you. I...I don't know what to say other than I love you and need you with everything in me."

Before I could say anything else, he leant down and kissed me. Fireworks began to go off and my body swam with joy, I realised that this was what had been missing with Aaron. Kissing Harry felt so completely and utterly right.

It was a gentle, yet desperate. Tender, yet commanding. His lips felt as perfect as I recalled. My eyes went heavy and before I knew it, I heard and felt him pull in a breath before withdrawing. It was clear that he didn't want it to grow to anything more. I finally opened my eyes again to look at him.

"Words don't begin to describe how I feel at the thought of never kissing your lips ever again." His gaze zeroed in on my mouth, his voice soft. "I must admit I took the slowest steps, glancing back at the door couple times, just to see if you'd come after me."

Bringing his face closer to mine, he ran the pad of his thumb across my lips. Letting it linger, he traced the top and bottom. I parted my lips, my mind desperately trying to remind me how to breathe as I stared into his eyes. My body was reacting to him the only way it'd ever known how.

"You might not realise it yet but you're all I see. All I hear. All I dream about. I came here for you. I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. It's you, Vivian. Only you." He leant closer, his lips hovering above mine as he choked out, "I'd give you everything if you let me," adding, "we could be perfect."

Unable to resist my want, my need, I crashed my mouth to his and gripped the back of his hair, soaking in his familiar taste with each stroke of my tongue.