❝end (pronounced ɛnd or as spelled), noun
a final part of something, especially a period of time, an activity, or a story.❞
A loud beeping filled the room, and Drew groaned. He opened his eyes- why had he left his alarm on?
But it became quickly apparent to him that this wasn't his alarm. Elle was sleeping in his arms, stirring because of the loud beeping, her brow furrowed. "Red's awake," she mumbled. "I'll do it."
"I'll come," he said, passing her his shirt and pulling on his boxers and pyjama pants. She pulled it over her head and took his hand, the two of them walking to Hunter's and Ryan's room, where Red had been sleeping, holding the baby monitor.
Drew pressed the button to turn it off, and picked Red up, calming her quietly. "I'll grab her food," said Elle, leaving the room and going to the kitchen.
He looked down at Red, whose eyes were looking up at him, a dark blue in the dim lighting of the room. Her skin was no longer as blotchy as it had once been. She was... beautiful. There was no doubt that she had inherited both of Hunter's and Ryan's attractive physical traits. Her pink rosebud lips were pursed slightly, and she stared up at him.
It made him wonder.
If Elle were to make it past this, past the cancer, would they have kids? Did Elle even want kids? Sure, she loved her family to pieces, but did that mean she wanted her own? Judging by her own hellish experience with trying to find her family, watching Phoenix going through the same thing... what did she think of the whole thing?
She came back in, gently taking Red and feeding her from the bottle Ryan had left in the fridge earlier. Drew watched her subconsciously, taking in the way her hair fell over her left shoulder, noticing her soft smile. Her lashes, long and thick, brushed her cheek when she blinked, and she looked as beautiful as ever. She was so perfect.
Gently, she placed Red back in her bassinet, and hummed a gentle rendition of 'You Are My Sunshine', rocking the bassinet as she hummed. Drew couldn't keep the gentle smile off his face, and Elle glanced around at him. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said softly. "You're just incredible."
She flushed, ducking her head, and he just smiled. He kissed her forehead, and said, "Come on, now. Let's go back to bed."
They walked back to bed, and Drew said, "Elle, do you ever think about family?"
"We're a bit young to be thinking about that," she said sleepily.
"I suppose," he said. "But I can't help but wonder. Don't you think maybe the two of us would have a big family?"
"To be honest, Beanbag, I don't really imagine I'm living past the age of eighteen at this point."
"But imagine you do," he insisted. "Please?"
She sighed. "We've talked about this, remember? I want one kid, you want three."
"But what about where we'd live? What would we be doing?"
"Maybe we could move."
"We should move to France," he said dreamily. She laughed.
"I'd've thought you'd want to move to Asia somewhere. Like Japan or something."
"Let's visit Japan!" he said excitedly. "Visit Studio Ghibli and catch the original Pokemon-"
She laughed quietly. "You're such an idiot, Drew."
He smiled, before kissing her. "Well, we're both awake, and I have another condom," he said. "What do you say?"
She bit her lip, breathing, "I like that idea," before kissing him back.
<><><><><><><><>
Hunter blinked, the light filtering through the curtains of their hotel room. Ryan was still asleep beside him. His tongue felt like lead, and there was a lump in his throat. He hadn't felt this way since...
Since he had broken up with Lucky, all those years ago.
He got out of bed, going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth and taking a shower. He smelled of the nondescript hotel soap now, and he brushed his hair back, into its usual style. Yet somehow, he didn't recognise the face staring back at him in the mirror. There was something different, something about his eyes that was new to him.
Maybe he was still in love with Lilly. He hadn't known anything about it until Ryan had mentioned it, but now that she said it, he realised that it wasn't that he didn't love Ryan anymore. It was that digging up all these memories and thoughts of Lilly had reminded him why he had fallen for her at all.
And that wasn't fair to Ryan.
When he came back out, Ryan didn't even smile at him. She had gotten ready, too, and was wearing a turtleneck sweater with jeans. She was sitting, waiting with the pancakes that she had ordered through room service. "Good morning, darling," he said.
"Morning," she said quietly.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, noticing how red her eyes were. His weren't any better, he knew. The circles under his eyes were darker than ever.
She pressed her lips into a tight line, the way she did when she was trying not to cry, and shook her head. "No. And you know that."
He took a bite of the pancakes. They tasted like cardboard. Neither of them spoke, until Ryan finally said, "H-Hunt?"
"Yeah?"
"We need to talk. Like, properly. Stop with this 'I promise I love you' crap."
He couldn't look at her. He could see it in his mind's eye- the hardened green eyes, the trembling bottom lip. He couldn't stand to see that in real life. "Yeah."
They were silent. Finally, Ryan breathed, "Hunter, what do you want?"
"W-What?"
"I know you love Lilly. So what do you want?"
He still couldn't look at her. "It's not fair to you," he said quietly. "I can't love you like this."
"So you do love me?" she asked, staring at the floor.
He didn't answer.
Her chest felt tight. "So... so what now?" she breathed.
"I don't know."
"Do you want a divorce?"
"We're not putting the kids through that," he said, and she nodded slightly.
"I agree."
"Glad we agree on something."
"Yeah."
Was this it? Was this what it came down to? A date night, where they both finally realised that something was amiss? A realisation that they no longer loved each other?
He took a shaky breath. "I need you to know, Ryan... it's not that I don't love you. It's that... we're just... it's just not working anymore."
"Right."
"Are... are you okay?"
She nodded tightly. Then, she began to sob.
Her entire body shook, as she completely broke down in front of him. She couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. This ultimate betrayal, one that she had seen coming for a long time, but had denied to herself, was happening right now. Her world was falling apart. She had known, even when they had first gotten together, that this wasn't going to work. She had known he would get bored eventually.
It took all of his strength, but he didn't hug her. He didn't try and comfort her. He knew that that wasn't what she wanted or needed right now, and he looked up, avoiding looking at her. She took great, heaving breaths of air, and choked out, "I- I just- I thought you'd want to fix this. To fix us."
"And I do, but-"
"If you did, you'd try and fix us!" she yelled, before crying again. "I can't- oh God..."
"I did try," he breathed. "But it's not fair to you. I realise that now."
Slowly, he sat beside her, before hugging her gently. He didn't know what else to do. Maybe she didn't want him to hug her, but she relaxed into his warmth the same way she had a million times before. She just kept sobbing. She had put ten years of her life, of herself, into this relationship. What now?
"I was just- I didn't want to bring it up because I thought I might lose you- I didn't want to lose you, I never want to stop talking to you- you mean too much to me for that."
"You're not gonna lose me," he said softly. "I promise. It's not like we're not gonna be friends, right?"
Friends. Married friends. All she had wanted all her life was a friend. But the way he said it now, with the sweetest voice and the softest smile, tore her heart into pieces.
And yet, she nodded. "Y-Yeah. Friends."
With a touch gentler than the past month of their relationship, he brushed her tears away and took her hands in his own, smiling gently. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, but she was so emotionally drained that she didn't even realise. "Friends?"
"Friends," she nodded.
"We won't tell the kids anything. It's not worth worrying them."
"No. No, it's not. You're r-right."
"And I'll still support you. Through everything." He tried to lean in and kiss her cheek, but she turned away.
"Don't, Hunter," she said, her voice suddenly as sharp and cutting as a steel knife. "That's not how friends behave."
<><><><><><><><>
"Ellie?" The door creaked open, and Hunter's eyes widened.
Drew and Elle were sleeping in her bed, clothes strewn all over the floor. Elle was clearly still asleep, but Drew's head immediately turned, and he pulled the sheets over their bodies. "S-Sir! I, uh-"
"I'm not gonna ask questions," said Hunter, his face burning. "But, uh, just-"
"We used protection, we always use protection," stammered Drew, before facepalming. "Shit, I mean- I just-"
"Drew, what's wrong?" Elle asked sleepily.
"Nothing, nothing," he said quickly. "Nothing at all."
"I'm gonna just-" said Hunter, gesturing vaguely at the door.
Drew nodded furiously. "Yeah, yeah, maybe- yeah."
Hunter closed the door silently, blushing extremely hard. The interaction had left him feeling like he was about to laugh, and at the same time, like he was going to throw up. But at least there was still love somewhere in the world. At least some things were kept pure until the world corrupted them. And thank God that Elle and Drew were so close. At least she had someone.
Ryan was in the kitchen, making lunch for everyone. She was making sandwiches, making sure that everyone had what they preferred- Spencer liked ham, while Robin liked roast beef, and Phoenix liked chicken. Hunter sat down, at his laptop, and didn't acknowledge or speak to Ryan. She didn't want that.
Ryan, who had been furiously wiping her tears away whenever Hunter was around in order to hide how stupidly weak she was, could almost feel Hunter's presence on her back. If only she hadn't brought it up. Maybe if she hadn't, he would never have had the courage to do so either.
But would that have been the right thing to do? Was it better to live in ignorance blissfully, or know the whole truth painfully? Although really, the entire thing hadn't been blissful for the past... six months. Not since Red had been born. In fact, even before that, there were problems, times when she wondered if Hunter put nearly as much into the relationship as she did.
And now, they were over. Everything she had known for so long was over. She had no idea where to go from here, what to do, how to act around the children. Who was she, without Hunter Hayes? Was she still Ryan Hayes-Lockhart? The name came so easily to her lips, but now it was just... Lockhart. Wasn't it? Did it change, or stay the same, since they had promised to stay married?
She paused, and looked at the hand on the windowsill, where she kept her ring when she was washing the dishes or cooking. She stared at the little, intricately designed ring, at the grey diamond that brought her comfort once upon a time. There's only one in the world like it. It's been passed down through my family for a long time.
And yet, it didn't seem like he cared anymore. No. Not 'it didn't seem'- no, he simply didn't. He no longer loved Ryan.
She left the kitchen, feeling sobs about to overcome her, and she went into the bathroom, beginning to cry.
Meanwhile, Phoenix entered the kitchen. "Hey, Pa."
"Hey, bud. What's up?" asked Hunter.
"Well, I might have a lead."
"A lead?"
"I did some research on the name 'Ruscoe' and found a woman from Phoenix, AZ, with that surname. I think she might be my mother."
"Are there any photos of her? Facebook accounts?"
"Nothing I can find."
He sighed. "That's not a lead, Nick. I'm sorry, but I can't take you with me on the tour unless you know where you want to look- with good reason," he added, as Phoenix opened his mouth to argue. "There's nothing concrete that gives us any reason to go to Arizona to look for her."
He tried to say, "But-" and Hunter held up his hand.
"I'm sorry, Nick. But we're not going to Arizona based on a surname."
*A/N: honestly, hunter's and ryan's breakup wasn't a part of the plan. but it's just the way the cookie crumbled, and it made more sense that they should. they've been pretty effed since the miscarriage, don't y'all think?
nethii <3*