Tahari
Theo's Neighborhood Pizza, Mid-City. 4024 Canal St, New Orleans, LA 70119...
Jade and I decided to meet up and go out for pizza at this very family oriented restaurant. The very type of restaurant I loved. The pizza here was pretty good to only be highlighted for it's famous thin crust pizza. Wasn't bad at all. There was a great variety of entrees but Jade and I decided on getting pizza. Tuning out the chatter and laughter from the customers that were dining in, I bobbed my head as Rock Steady by The Whispers sounded throughout the place. I was in so many words, having a pretty good time. Jade sat across from me, enjoying her pepperoni pizza which was drowned in hot sauce.
I picked up my slice of pizza and took a bite as laughter followed suite. Not paying too much attention, I continued as the laughter across from me grew louder. Seemed to be hardy...
I furrowed my eyebrows as I gazed at a laughing Jade. I set my pizza on my plate. I chewed my food as she continued. "First of all, why were you holding it like that and second, the face you made once you bit it", she said as her laughter began to die down.
I let off a soft chuckle. "All I had to eat today was a bowl of cereal, this pizza seems to taste better than usual right now", I said as I took a sip of my cold drink.
"You should've seen your face, I swear, I should've snapped ya pic", she said as she took a bite out of her pizza.
I shook my head. "You're terrible", I said as I chuckled. "You're always trying to take pictures of me looking a plum fool", I said as I continued eating my pizza.
She smirked. "As if you don't do the same thing to me. Let's not forget when that relaxer took my hair out a few years back and you kept taking my picture, calling me patches", she said which caused me to burst into laughter.
I shook my head. "I don't remember any of that", I said candidly feeling amused.
"Mmhm, I bet", she said followed by a chuckle before taking a sip of her cold drink. "So...", she started before taking another bite of her pizza. "What's going on with you and Sina?", she queried as she used a napkin to cover her mouth as she chewed her food.
"Well", I started followed by a sigh. "I didn't get the chance to tell you what happened after I got him together...", I said trailing off as I gazed out of the window at some people walking towards the building.
"Well?", she queried as she gazed at me carefully.
I gazed at her before speaking. "He opened up to me and admitted that he has some type of feelings for me and I just didn't know how to respond to it, I mean, I wasn't completely mute but I did tell him that I've grown some feelings for him but I am just as confused as he is. When he continued on with everything, my response was to kiss him, I couldn't help myself", I said feeling a bit embarrassed.
She nodded as she put down her napkin before speaking. "At first I was only going by things that you would tell me about him as well as you wanting to be around him. The day you thought something happened to him made me realize that not only did you love him but you're in love with him", she said.
I sighed. "Jade", I said getting ready to tell her otherwise but she interrupted.
"Don't try to tell me any different Hari. You were distraught when I found you in the restroom. It's deeper than a crush baby girl, I'm no fool. Be honest with yourself if you're not going to be honest with me.", she said as she rested her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together. "And you're not in this alone neither, when I brought you by his house and went in to get him, I told Briana off and because of her ignoring my calls, my voicemails trying to get in contact with him, he told his friend to get Briana out of his house and it was all on your behalf. He was upset about that. Then the way his demeanor changed once he saw you so hurt. He may not want to show too much but he feel the same way, I swear to God he does and to state the obvious, what you just told me, he opened up to you and expressed his feelings. This is the generation of no feelings but look at this heartless drug dealer dealing with a quiet nerdy girl", she carried on.
I sighed. "Maybe, he's just being nice to me because of what I've done for him", I said as I gazed down at the melting ice in my cold drink.
"Or maybe he's in love and just waiting for you to admit to him and yourself", she said.
I shook my head. "There's nothing like that to admit, I just like him as a person", I said trying to convince her and myself.
With the blankest expression on her face, she waited a second before speaking."So you just go around kissing those that you like as a person? Tahari, you're not talking to Bri's slow ass, you're talking to me and I see right through what you're trying to dish out.", she said.
"Jade, I just have a feeling that I can't compete with the females that he is used to.", I said softly as I gazed at her. "I mean, what do I really have to offer him?", I queried.
Jade scrunched up her nose. "What don't you have to offer is what you meant. You are carrying brains and beauty, you are beautiful without having to show your body for guys to look twice, baby, you are serving face. You are intelligent, carrying our school in your back pocket and will be in Louisiana State University soon. Not to mention, you are loyal to that man and you wear your heart on your sleeve for him.", she stated as she continued. "You don't have to compete with them broads he's used to, you came into the picture different and he has embraced it. You didn't have to change to fit the likes of him or any niggas like most lost broads do, the fact that you are not typical is what drawn him to you. Shoot, I adore your cornball ass, that's why I befriended you.", she said.
"I just don't know, I've never experienced this. I'm always being overlooked and branded as a lame by a lot of guys, I'm used to that, so I try my best to keep my feelings to myself to save pain.", I said.
"Let me tell you something, them niggas at school are immature, their balls haven't even dropped yet and the funny thing is that they all look up to Sina and look at Sina, got a soft spot for you. Them niggas irrelevant and like I told you before, Sina is a grown ass man, there's no comparing what those bums say about you to what Sina saying and doing. Don't let the feelings you have for him scare you and get you feeling insecure", she said. "Now stop putting yourself down, gone head, let me see that pretty smile", she said as a soft smile crept upon her face.
I smiled as I shook my head. "I don't know how I'd get through life without you, I really don't.", I said softly. "I love you Jade.", I said.
"You know I love you too", she said as she took another sip of her drink.
I picked up my pizza and proceeded to finish it as Jade did the same. I bobbed my head to the good music that sounded throughout the place. I love that this atmosphere, the music, the food and last but not least, Jade turned my sudden mood right side up. I still felt a bit discouraged about the whole situation with Sina, I mean, he did say that sometimes he really care, sometimes he really don't. I can't help how I feel but for the most part, I felt alright for the moment...
As I was just about done with my pizza, my phone vibrated. I continued to finish my slice, even the crust before dusting my hands together. Ridding my hands from crumbs and seasonings. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell. I gazed down hoping for a text from the only person I could only think of but of course it was the complete opposite...
Jac...
I sighed as I read along his text message. "What's up beautiful, what you on tonight?"...
"Nothing, just some studying", I texted in response.
"Or you could chill with a nigga and study afterwards"...
I bit my lip a bit. He's been trying for the longest; Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to hang out with him.
"You know what, I can definitely do that", I texted in response.
"Aight, 8 or 9 cool?"...
"Either or is fine by me", I texted in response.
"What's your address?"...
Without responding, I put my cell back into my pocket and gazed up at Jade as she started on another slice of pizza. "So, have you been keeping in touch with A.j?", I questioned as I grabbed another slice of pizza and took a bite.
She gazed at me with a soft smile. "Actually yes. He is pretty dope. He got good conversation and that's that shit that I like. A man who can open my mind", she said before continuing. "And it's a plus that he is very attractive", she stated.
I smiled. "I'm all for y'all happening" I said softly before carrying on with my food.
She chuckled. "Slow your roll, still got more getting to know him to do but so far he's good in my book. I like him. Oh and by the way, I'm all for you and Sina happening. No lie, you and him would be dope together. Complete opposites but y'all compliment each other. Just have to be on the outside looking in for a moment to really pick up what I see", she said.
I smiled to myself as I gazed out the window. I don't really understand these conflicted feelings but I guess I have no choice but to deal with them. I took my attention away and my eyes landed on a smiling Jade. "It's so funny that you can't even control your facial expressions. Love will do that to you", she teased.
I waved her off and gave my food my full attention as she did hers.
After a while we tipped our waitress, paid our bill and we were off. We walked and conversed more about Sina and A.j, even conversed about Jacquees as well as Kevin. I didn't bother to mention that I was going to hang out with Jacquees tonight, she would be livid, so I just decided to keep that part to myself. After a while we parted ways and I found myself walking along the walkway of my home. I walked up the stairs of the porch and stuffed my hand into my pocket for my house keys. As soon as I was about to put the key in the keyhole, I couldn't help but hear someone call my name.
I turned around to see the last person I was expecting to see...
Briana...
I haven't seen her in days nor have I spoken to her. Usually she would at least call or text me but at this moment in time, I didn't really care any more. I love her but I was content with loving her from a distance. She has become someone that I rather not be around, at all...
I watched as she walked along the walkway of my home. I walked down the few stairs of the porch as she walked up to me. "Hey Hari", she greeted with an off smile.
"Hey Briana", I said softly.
"How have you been?", she queried.
I shrugged a bit. "I've had better days, how have you been?", I queried.
She nodded. "I've been pretty good", she said as she gazed down at the ground.
I gazed at her closely. The whole vibe was completely off and I could sense that there was something wrong with her, it was all in her demeanor. "Are you sure?", I asked out of curiosity.
She sighed. "Is your mama here? If so, could you take a walk with me? I know she doesn't want me around", she carried on.
I nodded. "Yes, she's here and I would but I need to get in and get some studying done but talking on the porch for a minute shouldn't do any harm", I said to her.
She nodded as she took a seat on a step. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a sigh afterwards. She gazed down at the ground as she began to speak. "Tahari, look I know that I have been a terrible friend to you, I have. I know apology after apology won't fix our friendship at all and as much as it hurts me, I understand if you don't want to no longer be friends. I know that I've treated you bad all because of a guy.", she stated with a voice of agitation.
I sighed. "Bri", I started but was interrupted.
"No Tahari, let me finish. I am deeply sorry. I was being a bitch, especially the day Jade came over to Sina's house. I was ignoring her calls that were pertaining to you wanting to know if Sina was alright.", she said followed by a sigh. "I just had my head wrapped around Devin, I just couldn't think right. I was all about him and I didn't care about nothing else and...", she trailed off as her voice began to crack. "Devin... H-he put his hands on me and...", she stopped as she put her face into her palms and began crying.
My heart dropped seeing her this way. I walked over to her and sat right next to her. I placed my hand on her back and gently rubbed it up and down. I didn't really know how to respond to anything she said because a part of me didn't want to fall for yet another apology but on the other hand, all my years of knowing Bri, it was rare to see her cry, so a part of me felt bad but another part of me wanted to just leave her here. I couldn't though because I have such a big heart...
I was very surprised that Devin would go as far as putting his hands on her but at the same time, couldn't really put anything past Devin. "What possessed him to even do such a thing?", I queried.
She took her face away from her palms and gazed at me. A face which was blushed red with streaming tears, I felt for her. "He hit me because I simply asked him why do he take so much from Sina? I just wanted to understand why he never stuck up for himself. I didn't get deep into it, I just asked that one question and he reached over and hit me", she said as her voice cracked.
I shook my head and with that I heard the tumblers in the lock click. The door opened and my mother peeked her head out. Briana and I both gazed at her. My mother folded her arms as she gave us both a slightly harsh gaze. Briana wiped her tears away and forced a smile upon her face. "Hello Mrs. Campbell", she greeted.
Ignoring Briana's greeting my mother put all of her attention on me. "Tahari come inside", she said before gazing at Briana. "You should know better, you know I don't want you here. Now gone head and leave", she said as she held the door open more, waiting for me.
I sighed. "Bye Bri", I said as I stood to my feet, walked up the few stairs and walked inside.
Without saying another word, Briana stood to her feet and made her way down the walkway. Before she left, she held an unreadable stare plastered upon her face...
My mother watched her until she was out of sight before closing the door and locking up. She turned and gazed at me. "Tahari what I tell you? I told you that I didn't want that child over here anymore.", she said in an exasperated tone.
"She just showed up when I was about to come inside, I didn't call her over", I said in my defense.
"So instead of sitting out there with her, you should've told her that she's not to be at this house, her mother told her. I don't want to see that girl over here any more, hear?", she fussed.
"Yes ma'am", I said not wanting to prolong the discussion.
"What ever she has going on she can discuss with her mother or with the boy she's letting fondle her", she continued as she picked up the remote and turned off the television. "I'm about to take this Bayer pm, my side is hurting pretty bad. I'll be out cold for a bit so if you get hungry or so, dinner is on the stove. Cajun shrimp Alfredo, garlic bread and the salad in the fridge", she said as she held her side and made her way upstairs to her bedroom.
I walked over to the couch and grabbed the remote before taking a seat. I turned on the television and the news was on; talking about the double homicide that happened last week. That night I was over with Sina, he told me that 2 guys were to kill him. He believes that 2 of them were friends of Jacquees. Although I am solely against violence, getting to know him better, I now understand that he doesn't do it for the hell of it but because playing with his money is like snatching food from him and his family's mouth and of course he has to protect himself. So knowing that Sina has an interesting way of gunplay, I love the fact that he protected himself against 2 guys who were trying to murder him. It may seem harsh but I am happy that he got them instead of it being the other way around. I guess I can say that he can definitely handle himself, he's a, what they say?...
A savage...
I began flipping through the channels and there was nothing on the television. I settled on the popular Chicago based show that my mother would watch after Reverend Henton's sermon. The Awakening. I rested my arm on the armrest as I held the left side of my head with my palm.
After a while of sitting around watching television, I turned it off and stood to my feet and headed upstairs. My parent's bedroom door was cracked open. I peeked in to see my mother wrapped up in the cover. I could hear her light snores and I quietly made my way back downstairs. I left out of the front door and locked it behind me. It was a little after 8:00pm and time was coming for me to finally spend time with Jac.
The skies were tempting to turn a dark blue as I walked along the sidewalk. I could hear the faint barks of the neighborhood dogs but I paid that no nevermind. I folded my arms as I walked. Every now and then I would look at my surroundings. Walking alone when darkness began to fall was enough to cause paranoia. After a while I made it to the park that Jade and I would often come to. I walked through the empty park and took a seat on the swing. I gently swung. As the annoying calling of cicadas sounded, I reached into my pocket for my cell and texted Jac.
"I'm at the park, the one where you saw me last time", I texted.
"I didn't think you were gonna hit a nigga back up but I'll be over to get you now, I'm a few blocks away"...
"Alrighty", I texted in response.
I put my cell onto my lap, placed both hands on the chains and slowly swung back and forth. Taking in the cool breeze of the wind, I gazed down at my feet which were barely touching the ground. I sighed, beginning to regret even agreeing to hang out with Jacquees. As the creaking of the chains sounded, I would keep watch of my surroundings.
After a couple of minutes crept by, I felt a sudden vibration come from my cell. I picked it up and gazed at it. "I'm over here in the maroon Cadillac"...
I gazed towards the street to see the car. I hopped off the swing and made my way over to the car. I opened the passenger's door and got inside. "Hello", I greeted before fastening my seatbelt.
"What's up", he said with a smile plastered upon his face. "So can I get a hug?", he queried.
"No", I said softly before gazing out the window.
He chuckled as he put the gearshift of D. "Straight like that huh?", he queried as he pulled off.
"Yes sir", I said softly as I continued my gaze out of the window.
"It's all good, I'm just glad that you finally gave me the chance to come get you. A nigga been wantin to see that beautiful face for a minute", he said.
A smile crept onto my face. I gazed at him. "Why is that?", I queried.
"Well shit, you're beautiful, you give off a decent vibe and shit, I love how difficult you are. I just want to get to know you more", he said as he continued to drive.
"Well then", I stated not really wanting to respond to that. "So where are we going?", I queried as I gazed out of the window.
"To my crib, there's a lil kick back goin on, that cool?", he questioned.
I sighed lowly. "Yes, that's cool", I lied through my teeth.
I definitely wasn't excited about that. I barely know him, let alone the tons of strangers he called friends that will be there. I bit my lip as I gazed at the many vacant houses that we drove by. After a minute or so, we pulled up along the curb. He turned the car off and we both got out. I followed behind him as we walked the walkway to his home. We walked up the steps of the porch where a few guys were shooting dice. Without the acknowledgement of any of them; Jac and I walked around them and stepped into his home.
A room full of people and at that instant I grew uncomfortable. I mean, there were about 4 guys in the tiny living room with 2 girls. With the foul aroma of hydro kush, saliva and cheap liquor, it was enough to burn your nose as well as your eyes. With the loud sound of Today was a good day by Ice Cube blasting through the speakers, the living room full of people were causing an uproar of an intense game of dominos and drinking. I rubbed my eyes as the lingering smoke only seemed to become thick. My eyes were watering bad due to it. I took a seat on an unoccupied couch right along with Jac.
As everybody talked to one another, there I sat, feeling out of place. I only took in what I was seeing. I gazed at 1 of the 2 girls. She was leaning towards the cracked glass coffee table. She held a razor blade and was lining up what I believe to be coke. I furrowed my eyebrows as she set the razor aside and dug into her pocket for a dollar bill. She rolled it up tightly and positioned it right above the whole line. She held her left nostril and leaned forward and began to snort along the line until it was gone.
I took my gaze away from her and a familiar guy walked in. Kevin. He walked into the house and began greeting everyone as he held a colt 45 in his hand. He walked over to Jac and gave him a pound hug before gazing at me. "What's up ma, where ya lil mean friend at?", he queried with the foul smell of beer on his breath.
"She is home", I said not wanting to converse with him.
He chuckled. "Call her up and tell her she need to be here, tell her I'll pick her lil cute ass up", he said.
I shook my head. "She is talking to someone at the moment", I stated.
He shrugged as he slightly furrowed his bushy eyebrows. "Whoever that nigga is ain't got shit on me", he continued.
A.j was 10 times better for Jade...
I didn't say much and with that he waved me off. I didn't care at all. As time passed on, guys were coming in and out of the house. People were drinking themselves into oblivion as others smoked back to back. They would go back and forth with spades and dominos. I was so far out of my element. Thinking back on how Sina doesn't like me around anything like this. I closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I then felt my leg being tapped. I opened my eyes to see Jac standing over me with a red party cup in hand. "Here, you thirsty?", he queried handing me the cup.
I gazed inside before putting it to my nose and taking a whiff. It was alcohol mixed terribly in fruit punch. I gave it back. "No", I said softly.
He chuckled. "Lighten up girl", he said as he took a drink out of the cup.
I shook my head at the sloppy scene as I continued to sit awkwardly. Jac was now on the couch in front of me conversing with his friends. He was now holding anger on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried my best to tune out everybody but them. I watched closely and listened carefully. "Man, shit after everybody leave, we need to get back on that shit man. We need to be out here lookin for Sina. Shit, we be out all day and we never run into his ass, he probably move around at night, tryin to be low key nowadays. He already know what's up", Jac said.
"Shit, them niggas on what we on too, with the whole Sina situation. They tryin to dead that nigga and his niggas out here too, so shit, after we get rid of these bitches, we can look for them niggas", Kevin said in response and referred to every guy at the kick back.
I took my cell out of my pocket and gazed at everybody and no one was paying me any attention. I slouched down in my seat and held my phone up a bit and snapped a few pictures of the guys in front of me. I then sent picture messages. "Sina, I am at a small get together with Jac. I only agreed to come because I wanted to get his exact address and get pictures of him because I know you don't know what he looks like alongside the other guys that are trying to kill you. They are over here talking about coming to look for you and your friends after this get together is over.", I texted to him.
I grew nervous as I awaited for him to text me back. I gazed back at the guys and they were still discussing Sina as if it was a casual conversation to have around your guest. After a minute or 2, my cell vibrated. I gazed at the text. "Go somewhere alone and call me, hurry up"...
I placed my cell into my pocket as I stood to my feet and walked over to them. I tapped Jacquees on his shoulder. "Hey, may I use your restroom?", I queried as my eyes landed on a wallet sized photo which looked like a young Sina and some girl at a school function.
He nodded. "Yeah, it's in the back, you'll see it", he said as he got back into conversation.
I turned around and left the noisy living room and walked down the hall until I came across the bathroom. I closed and locked the door. I walked over to the sink and turned the knobs of the faucet. Letting the loud water run, I grabbed my phone and called Sina.
I put the phone to my ear as it rang once. "Aight lady, you still in the house right?", he queried with an eager tone.
"Yes, I'm in the bathroom", I said a little above a whisper.
"Keep ya eyes under the door, make sure nobody by that shit listenin", he demanded.
I bent down and did just that to see no feet under the door. "No one is there", I spoke into the phone.
"How many niggas there?"...
"About 10", I spoke.
"Aight, give me the address"...
"Wait, are you coming now?", I queried becoming a bit paranoid.
"Already in the car, what's the address?"...
"It's 838 W Claiborne street", I said softly.
He stopped talking for a moment to tell whoever he was with what was going down. I only listened as I kept my gaze under the bathroom door.
"Lady, listen to me. I need you to get out of that house right now. I'm 5 minutes away, I'm about to light that bitch up"...
My heart began to beat rapidly once he said that. "If I leave and you do that, they will know that I set them up Sina, what if you don't get them all?", I queried on the verge of crying.
"Listen, you heard what the fuck I just said Tahari. Do what the fuck I just told you to do. Don't worry about none of that shit, I got you forever, just get the fuck out, now. You got 4 minutes", he fussed before hanging up.
I can't believe that I did this...
I bit my lip as my hands frantically shook. I stuffed my cell into my pockets before turning off the sink. I opened the bathroom door and hurried out. I gazed at everyone who were oblivious to what was going on amongst them and what was to come. I made my way into the kitchen, without being seen. I walked up to the back door and quickly opened it and rushed out and ran down the alley as fast as I could. I had to get away from this house. As I continued, I suddenly heard the loud sound of screeching tires from more than 1 vehicle...