S O R E N
I knew how sickly I looked by the reaction of Robin when I walked down the stairs.
His eyes widened as he pulled the glass away from his lips, taking a slow gulp before placing the glass on the marble bench.
"Better not let mum see you," Robin said, sitting on the stool as he ran his hand through his hair.
"I know." I huffed. I grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard before adding cereal and milk.
"Someone's in a good mood." Colin rubbed my head, messing up my hair and making me spill the milk.
"Fuck. Look what you did, you shithead." I turned to scowl at Colin, who looked at the split milk then back at me with an innocent smile.
"Whoops." Colin grinned, taking an apple out of the basket and saying with a full mouth, "One of the maids will clean it up."
"It's not their job to clean up after pigs like you." Red cut in as he entered in the kitchen, throwing a wet washcloth in my direction.
"Actually, it is." Robin pointed out, cleaning up the milk that Colin had turned his nose up to and I had abandoned.
"I need one of you to take Soren to school because someone," Red gave me a look, which I ignored, "lost his license."
Colin leant onto the table, I sat, at and smirked, "How much are you going to pay me?"
Robin pushed his twin aside and told me they'll be leaving in twenty minutes. I nodded and left my brothers to eat together.
Climbing the stairs, I stood in the middle of my room. It was quiet and dark; the sun outside couldn't pierce through the thick fabric.
Why leave such a haven of peace for hell of gossip and judgement? I didn't have to be perfect in this room. I was allowed to be "just Soren".
I sat in the front seat of the car and stared out the window trying to block out Colin's screams that were directed at his phone.
"Oh shut up! I'm trying to drive." Robin yelled as Colin swore about the football match, "Soren do something before we crash."
I lifted my head off the window and turned to look at Robin whose knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.
"Hey, Colin?" I said bluntly, which caused him to look up from his phone, "Australia wins."
-
I walked through the hallway and gave Neena Eellante a glare when she stuck her arm out, her palm hitting a locker. She stared into my eyes flirtatiously.
"Hey, Soren." She bit her lower lip slightly. I glanced down at her cleavage before making eye contact, "I heard you got stuck in a tree with some loser for the night."
When I didn't say anything she pulled her blonde locks behind her ear and smiled, "Too bad it wasn't you and me."
Neena was beautiful and she let every boy she met know it. Though as she took a step towards me, I realized why so many men fell to her feet.
"What a shame." I grunted, gripping her hand as she went to touch my chest, pushing it back in her direction.
Neena looked at our hands before looking up to my eyes, "Soren..."
I kept my hard gaze on her before she winced, "You're crushing my hand."
I let go of her hand like it burnt me. I didn't mean to hurt her. She kept eye contact with me and for the first time Neena actually looked terrified- she was scared of me...
I brushed past her, my shoulder hitting hers hard. It was at that moment, I noticed how many people were staring at us.
Walking down the hall, I tried to ignore the hushed voices or the sentences that people said loudly to make sure I did hear them.
"Look, it's Soren McKinin—move—before he gets angry..."
"Is that Soren? He looks so...sick."
"Damn, too bad Soren has anger issues. He'd be so hot otherwise. Well he's still hot but he'd be less scary."
"He's always so fucking depressed, like lighten up; your world can't that bad."
I released my clenched hands and pulled them out of my pockets to enter my maths class. It was noisy. Kids sat everywhere and talked at different intervals.
I took my sit at the back of room and put my head on the desk, closing my eyes, which I knew were red.
"What's wrong, Soren? That loser kept you up all night?" The pesky voice of Darren echoed the room, hushing all the voices, "I didn't know you went for the that type."
I kept my eyes closed as Darren sniggered, "She is an easy fuck I guess, low esteem, ugly face, big butt—"
The boys laughed and sniggered; a few girls giggled or butted in their own opinion.
"Must be in your family: to get with losers. Your brother with that black beast—" my hand was wrapped around his throat before he could finish his sentence.
My mind was racing as I slammed him backwards, forcing him to land on his back against a hard desk.
I pressed his throat down onto the desk and growled inches from his face, "Don't you ever fucking talk about my brother again, you bastard."
His eyes were wide as he clawed at my fingers weakly in a fight for breath. I could feel the energy in the room go stiff and thick. I could feel my heart slowing, the muscles in my face relaxing.
"It's too early for this shit." I grunted, letting go of his throat before taking my seat.
The teacher walked in a few minutes later. Besides the purple handprint curling around Darren's throat, everything seemed normal.
Everything was normal besides lunch. The cafeteria smelt of lasagne and coffee. I didn't know why it smelt of coffee considering they didn't serve coffee, but then again—the chicken nuggets aren't actually chicken so anything could be possible.
I stood in the lunch line and waited for the dead pigeon to be served. There was soft tap on my shoulder and I turned around to the smile of Jay, gleaming at me.
"Hey, Soren. How are you feeling?" She asked lightly, holding out her tray to get mashed potato.
Her question hit my core with force. I felt my eyes widen and my heart jump. People in the line turned around to see who was talking to me. No one had asked me how I was feeling for a long time.
She looked up at me, with a slightly hurt expression, when I didn't respond before adding, "It's raining so I couldn't eat outside—"
"I don't give a fuck." I spat into her face, turning my back to her and taking a pace forward to get a slice of pizza.
"Oh" was all she said. I could feel how hurt she was, but I couldn't handle her happy smile right now.
I just needed quietness; I just needed people to stop looking at us.
Darren's words sunk in: everyone did think I slept with this loser. I didn't need more gossip; Jay needed to leave me alone- for her own good and for mine.
"Could you just shut the fuck up? Listen whore, I don't know you. Leave me alone." I spat into her face, half the cafeteria was looking at us because everyone had heard what I said.
Jay was looking at me, with big brown eyes, on the verge of tears. I waited for a moment, waited for her to slap me or just even ask me to go kill myself. She kept my gaze, her face neutral before asking for chips from the lunch lady, who was staring at me with wide eyes.
I walked out of the line and sat at my table alone, not feeling the urge to eat anymore. Jay placed her tray in front me and sat down.
I looked up, "What the fuck is your deal—"
"I'm not sitting here. Just wanted to say, without a million people looking at us, that if you don't want to be seen with someone like me," she paused as a few people looked our way, "You should take a good look at yourself; what's the difference between you and me?"
I said nothing but held her gaze. She stared at me with strong features, "The difference is I'm not afraid to be seen with someone like you."
She took her tray and walked out of the hall, as I watched in horror when one of Neena's friends stuck his foot out. Her food went flying and Jay went falling to the ground. People stood up and whipped out their phones.
She picked herself off the ground and stared at me through the crowd; I hadn't moved and I could barely see her through the people. Food covered her face, her hair and her clothes.
With the look of desperation for help plastered on her face, she stared at me directly.
I put my head down and took a bite of my pizza. Robin rushed towards her, Colin yelling at people to put their phones away.
J A Y
I hunched over the sink and ran my hair under the water trying to get the smell of pumpkin soup out.
Colin said he'd wait outside, but the bell had rung for class and I know he'd be long gone. Soren's brothers were so kind and compassionate. What made Soren the complete opposite?
I looked down into the sink to see the orange mixture of soup and water flowing from my hair. I couldn't believe that the soup hadn't burnt me, though my face mainly landed in the mashed potatoes.
My eyes met the reflection of myself and I couldn't help but shiver. I looked just like everyone else: I had eyes, a nose & lips. What made me a loser? What made me so distasteful for the heart?
There was a soft knock on the door and to my surprise, Colin's voice echoed the bathroom, "Hey, Jay? You okay?"
I opened the door to see Colin staring at me, a worried expression plastered on his face.
He smiled, "Thank god, I was wondering, for the past twenty minutes, if there were any sharp items in the bathroom."
I let the door close behind me and shrugged, "It's just some food- nothing to get suicidal about."
"It's not just food; you just need someone to push you over the line and well..." Colin drifted off before giving me a sad look, "I have my soccer shirt in my locker; it's clean. Would you like to wear it for the rest of the day? Your shirt is...kinda ruined."
"Thank you," I whispered and followed Colin down the hallway, "Why are you helping me?"
He turned and looked down at me, "You saved Soren's life; it's the least I could do. I know he's a real dickhead most of the time but he's not a bad person."
I laughed softly, "You sound like you're the older brother."
Colin grinned but didn't make eye contact with me, "Yeah, well. When you never see your dad- and when you do, he just sees the worst in you- you tend to grow up fast. I look out for my brothers and they look out for me."
I couldn't imagine Soren caring for any life form and Colin seemed to read my expression, "He does care, Jay. Just early today, he almost choked a kid to death because he made fun of Red's girlfriend."
We reached Colin's locker and he pulled out his soccer t-shirt and handed it to me with a smile.
"Thank you again." I smiled at him.
"Anytime. Just don't—don't give up on him. He's not a bad person." He repeated, holding our eye contact with his dark blue eyes, "He would never hurt you."
I gave him a sad look, "Colin—"
"He'd never hurt you, Jay."
S O R E N
The house was quiet. I pulled my hoodie over my bare chest and opened the bedroom door. Glancing down the halls, I crept out and down the stairs, opened the front door and left without a sound.
Walking across the wet lawn towards the white fence, I couldn't help but wonder why I never told the old man. I pushed the piece of broken fence forward and climbed through the gap.
I glanced around once. Nothing moved, even the leaves on the trees were still. It was a full moon so I made extra precaution by staying in the shadows.
Unravelling the water hose and dragging it silently across the grass, I looked up into my house for any sign of life, although no lights were on.
I ran back and turned on the hose before sprinting over to the rose garden. I'd be lying if to say I wasn't proud of how they've grown from the time I saw them getting planted.
Mr. Cosantino probably wonders why his roses haven't died considering he hasn't been out of his house in 3 years. I remember when he could still walk outside with his wife; I remember when he used to kiss her on the forehead as she watered these roses.
I remember when she was still alive and would wave at me as I played pirates with my brothers in the big tree close to the fence.
Chewing on my black hoodie drawstring, I watched the water fall over the red roses. I haven't missed a day for 3 years in watering these roses. Mr. Consantino never knew who kept them alive and I planned to keep it that way.
I couldn't figure out why I do it and I prefer not to think about it, to just let it happen.
A smile tugged on my lips knowing Mr. Consantino would look out his window and believe that his wife's love flowed through the veins of the plants, keeping them alive.
-
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