A/N: Updated are back daily. Enjoy and happy reading! :D
Her
Day 205 – Please listen
Since we've arrived this morning, Shayne and I had been around town while I gave him a brief tour of the place. But not once had I addressed the reason for our sudden visit in town. I was still lightly in denial on what I was about to do. We kept – well, I kept – ourselves distracted with certain attractions in town. And during lunch, I caved in and took him to the bistro for lunch. As a chef, he was a bit critical with the menu and food. However I shut him down before Penny get to hear any of his nonsense feedback. She was doing well on taking over my job.
While we were in the vicinity, I gave him a brief tour on the kitchen out back. While Shayne and Penny's sous chef, Kean, were talking, we were having a silent discussion ourselves. Penny had brief pushed me aside, inquiring about my companion – obviously.
"Are you two dating? How serious is it? Is he going to Italy with you?" It was like a rapid-fire question the moment we were out of earshot.
"Chill out, Penny. I already told you we aren't like that," I replied, referring to the times we call or chatted each other online. Even we were far apart, our friendship couldn't easily be dented by distance. And I only hoped my romantic relationship were the same, but surely the two aren't nearly the same.
"If you say that, then why are you two here on a trip together? You didn't call to tell me he's with you in this short visit. Why the secrecy?"
"This is why I kept it secret. You'll start giving me fifty question if I've said something yesterday."
"I'm not that bad," she huffed in defiance, looking slightly hurt at the comment. But it didn't bother much longer as she looked over at Shayne again. "But, goodness, I never thought he looked this good in person. He might not be photogenic, but he surely give any girl a wet dream when they see him."
"Penny! Time and place, good god... and you already have Kean to swoon over." I huffed in disbelief.
"It doesn't hurt to appreciate a man's beautiful physique."
I rolled my eyes at her defense and headed back to Shayne. They were in middle of discussing about Kean's educational background in Italian cuisine when we joined them. Penny seemed to be well versed by this, nodding along and commenting about Kean's work. From how Kean smiled and glows at Penny's approving tone, it was quiet obvious there was more between this two since I was here. If I asked Penny to share her side of her romantic venture, I'm not sure I could be ready to hear a detail description of her escapade.
Once we were done on our short tour, I pushed Shayne out of the bistro before my own mother start asking me question about him. When I saw a mischievous glint on her eyes while watching Shayne and I bantering about the head chef we worked under, I know she'd read too much on the situation. And I wasn't ready for the conversation just yet. Plus, Shayne and I were just friends. Nothing more.
After the bistro, we toured around the city. We've become a bit touristy as entered through museums and parks. Even I was a bit surprised at some of the places we've visited, which I hadn't been since living in this town. When mid-afternoon came, he took a break with out little adventures and decided to relax at a nearby café. When I saw the dessert display on their counter, I was drawn inside.
"I've never peg you as a dessert girl," Shayne commented with a chuckle.
"I have my moments. And I feel like eating something sweet to rejuvenate me from all the walking we've just done." I chortled and halted as we made our way at the back of the line. There were only two more customers in front of us. And the place weren't as packed as I thought it'd be.
"I presume you also cooked pastry on your free time. Are you that kind of girl as well?" he observed, his eyes still gleamed teasingly.
"Why are we in the topic of discussion what kind of girl I am? You already know what I am, Shayne." I couldn't suppress another giggle.
"Of course. I do know what kind of girl you are, Emilia." He smoothly agreed. But the tone of his voice had a double meaning to it.
Feeling a sudden tension between us, I tore my eyes away from him and scanned the room. Rather than finding something to push the weird moment aside, my eyes found something I should have disregarded. Yet I couldn't do it since he was also staring back at me.
"What is he doing here?" I muttered under my breath. The lingering smile on my face had dropped when I watched him turned away and started heading out. Was he running away from me?
"Emilia, is there something...?" Before Shayne finished, I was already walking away from and trying to catched up Collin. But he was close to the other exit.
Out of character, I caught myself off guard when I called up towards him.
"Collin! Wait!"
I watched him stopped mid-stride. His shoulder rose and fell before twisting around to face me.
"Emilia..." he paused and trailed off after saying my mind. It was like he didn't expect saying it.
"Hey, how are you? It's been awhile," I asked, trying to look normal for him to relax a bit. I didn't want to get off as rude, especially how our last conversation ended.
"I'm fine. And you? How's the training?" he asked stiffly. His jaw clinched while he tried to look composed. Even without saying, it was clear in his eyes how he felt at the moment.
"It was great..." I trailed off when I felt a hand pressed on a back. I twisted slightly to see Shayne standing beside me.
"Hi! I'm Shayne. You must be another of Emilia's friend?"
Collin regarded Shayne for a moment before composing himself. "Ah, yeah."
"And you are?"
Rather allowing Collin to respond, I answered in his stead. "Shayne, this is Collin."
I watched as Shayne's looked at him with recognition. Without waiting for my signal, he turned to me with an apologetic smile. "I'll order you something while you talk." Then he briefly glanced at Collin. "It's nice meeting you, man. Heard a lot of things about you."
Before Collin could respond to Shayne's words, he was already heading back towards the back of the line again. For a second, I realized I hadn't told him what I wanted, but decided against going to him. I knew Collin wouldn't wait if I felt him now. If I wanted to have this talk, I need to do it now. So I peered back at him and asked.
"Do you have a minute? There's something I wanted to talk to you... about last time..."
Now I caught him by surprise. He hadn't expected that from me.
"Ah, sure..." he finally recovered from his initial surprise. He then gestured to a vacant seat situated at the back of the café, which looked more private. "Let's sit there."
Nodding, I walked ahead of him while he kept a steady pace behind me. When we reached the table, I sat down with my back facing the open room while Collin took the one facing the whole room. But it seemed possible prying eyes didn't bother him. His gaze was lock on mine.
"How were Zack and Jake?" I inquired, speaking up after we sat down to fill the silence and growing tension between us.
"They're doing well." To my wonder, he actually replied. But then he huffed in frustration and ended my unnecessary topics. "What do you want to talk with me about, Emilia? It's better to get it straight to the point."
"I agree." I muttered and took a deep breath before getting the word out. "I've started thinking and rethinking about what you said to me two months ago... and I..."
"I want to stop you there. If you're going to justify your decision and felt pity for me, then don't. I don't need your apology or your sympathy, Emilia. I understand your decision." He interjected before I could finish.
"That's not what I'm going to say."
"Then what are you saying?"
"I..." I looked at him, his unnerving expression unchanging. Was I too late? Had I hurt him enough to look at me with such cold and chilling eyes? Was this truly the end for us?
"You what?" he pressed when I hadn't continued.
"You were right, Collin. I wanted to apologize and I feel bad for how thing were between us. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I'm sorry for hurting you. I don't want us to be in such an awful and bitter relationship. If we can help it, I want us to be friendly and civilized. We have common friends. For their sake, I wanted us to be in a tolerant relationship."
Hearing those words coming out of my mouth, I wanted to punch myself. What was I saying? This wasn't what I flew back here for. I was supposed to tell him how I feel and how I still feel towards him. I was supposed to admit defeat to my own feelings. Why was that difficult to say?
"I understand. That's an easy enough request."
I stiffly nodded, not sure what to say after that. But as I was about to open my mouth, he cut me off again.
"Would that be all?"
"No... there is something I wanted to say but I don't know how to say it." I abruptly stopped when I saw Shayne walked up to us with a tray in hand.
"Hey, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to give this to you, Emilia," he stated and placed a mug of hot coffee on the table between Collin and I.
"No. It's okay. We're done talking." Collin suddenly stood up.
"Wha – wait. We're not finish talking at all. There's something I'm going to..."
He interrupted me again and walked around Shayne. "I have somewhere to be. I'll leave you two. Enjoy the rest of your evening. Sorry for taking your time."
"No, wait," I pronounced but Collin had retreated already towards the door much quickly than I anticipated.
I stood up and was about to follow him when Shayne grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "He's gone, Babe."
"But I hadn't said what I truly wanted to say..." I muttered to no one in particular, however I knew he was listening to me.
"We were both alone for some time, Emilia. You could at least have said something..." he trailed off when I faced him, giving him a full view of my defeated expression. "What did you say to him?"
"I think I've only made it worst, Shayne. I couldn't say those simple four words. Why couldn't I do that? It was so simple. So short and yet I couldn't..."
"Don't push yourself too hard. You did want you could, Babe."
"But you don't understand. I could have said it easily, yet I withdrew and said something different... something I didn't want to say..."
"Babe, are you afraid of being rejected by him?" he finally inquired.
When those words were thrown directly at my face, I understood why. I saw why I couldn't speak up those words.
"No, that's not..." I was about to deny it, hiding behind the last shred of dignity I have. But what it was weren't fair. I was a coward. I was afraid of being rejected by him.
Shayne guided me back to my seat and offered my drink to me. "I see you're processing this not too well."
I pursed my lips but took his offered and took a quick sip on my drink.
"So what now? Are you going to chase him and gather the courage to tell him?"
"I've already said enough today. And besides, our flight is in two hours."
"If that helps you sleep at night, it's your decision."
I pursed my lips and sat back down, finishing my drink.