The early morning air always seemed to haunt Syler, the humidity made his throat close up like it used to during his nightmares. He felt like he was suffocating half the time, mostly from the anxiety of the thoughts. They were drowning him in a sense, taking up his every waking thought.
Syler was smoking his lungs out again, while taking a long walk around his neighborhood. The morning air made him feel as if he was suffocating, it was mainly just his lungs being smoked out, but the humidity added to the feeling. The air wasn't cold at all, and Syler was thankful for that, the cold made him just feel more depressed than he already was. The dreams had started to become more vivid to him, they started to make connections to his real life. It started to really scare him, both mentally and physically. He started to get headaches, and during those he'd see the hooded figure appear for split seconds in his line of site before it disappeared again. Syler could tell that these were just images that his brain was coming up with, but they still scared him, as he knew that they'd progress, just like everything else that has happened so far. Syler would wave to every jogger or other person on the street, he didn't know their stories, but he'd try and make them up. He'd observe their patterns, and he'd make assumptions that way. It was something he found entertainment through, and it relaxed his mind very much so, and so he would make up stories of others, in his head, and sometimes they were sad, sometimes they were happy, but they were always something exciting. Maybe the person was a writer, and they were trying to find inspiration from the morning air. Sometimes he assumed that they were someone with purpose to get their life together, sometimes he assumed that they were on a downward spiral, just as himself. He knew that everyone was fighting themselves in some way, but he knew most weren't fighting the constant shadows and the hallucinations that he was.
Syler had smoked his cigarette to a bud, and almost as if it was out of impulse by now, he placed the burning bud to his skin, letting it burn him. He didn't know why he was doing this, but impulse was a strange thing to many people. Syler pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit another, he made enough money off of his paintings that he could buy packs weekly, sometimes several times throughout the week, he bought enough of them throughout the week that all the cashiers by the local gas station knew him by name, and some even knew parts of his dreams, if he felt the need to share. He took another drag, and the smoke filled his lungs again. He wasn't watching where he was going, he was just trying to get away from his thoughts. Syler was suddenly startled by walking into someone's shoulder. He started to apologize, trying to catch his breath from the panic that he had offset.
"Sorry, I am so sorry." Syler said before looking up to see who he had run into.
"You're fine, I wasn't looking at where I was going." Syler heard the voice of a girl, around his age, he was guessing. Syler looked up, and he observed the face of who he had just run into. She had short, pixie cut blue hair. Her face had freckles scattered all over it. She had done up eyeliner. Syler found her face gorgeous, which was very unusual for him, as he never had found another human being attractive to him.
"No no, I wasn't looking. I'm sorry." Syler said, and she laughed, and she observed his cigarette.
"Yo, you got another?" She asked, hopeful, and Syler pulled out another cigarette and handed it to her.
"You need a light?" He asked, and she shook her head.
"I got my own, thanks though." She said, and lit up the cigarette in her mouth, then she took a drag.
"Again so sorry for running into you, I was swallowed in my thoughts." Syler said, surprised at his ability to communicate with someone he'd never met before and sound even half-coherent.
"Dude, you're fine, I mean hey, I even got a smoke out of it." She reassured him. Syler continued walking, and the girl followed, hoping to pursue conversation with Syler.
"Oh, I'm Syler by the way." Syler said randomly, and he cursed himself immediately for saying that, and his face turned bright red from embarrassment.
"That's a name I've never heard before, I'm Lauren." She said, and her reaction and response made him feel better about his outburst.
"Nice to meet you then I guess." Syler said, and he took another drag.
"Where were you headed earlier in such a rush." Lauren asked him, and Syler shrugged.
"Nowhere." Syler said, and Lauren took a drag of her own cigarette.
"Nowhere?" She asked, confused.
"I was just walking I guess." Syler said, as he didn't want to spill the fact that he was being followed by shadows that his own mind was hallucinating.
"Makes sense, I guess." Lauren said, and Syler felt awkward with this encounter, and he still didn't truly know how to speak to people, except Zane or his family, because he's known them for his whole life, which made it significantly easier to talk to them than someone he's never talked to before. He wasn't sure how the etiquette worked and how deep a conversation can go on the day two people first meet.
"Really, I don't know how to make conversation, to be honest here." Syler confessed, and Lauren smiled.
"I could tell, here, it's easy," She explained. "You ask someone about their day first." She said, and Syler nodded in understanding.
"So, uh, how was your day?" Syler asked after swallowing the lump that had manifested in his throat.
"So far it's been good, I get to smoke with a cool dude in the morning air," She said. "Ok, now you'll take something from that and add on, or observe."
"The air is sort of humid today." Syler observed.
"It is, and it sort of makes breathing feel harder in a sense." Lauren said, and Syler finally felt as if he had something to go off of.
"The humidity makes my throat close up sometimes." He said, and immediately he regretted it, but what has been said, is said.
"I thought I was the only one, it happens to me a lot as well." She said and then took a drag of her cigarette, Syler did the same. The smoke was then released out of her nose, her septum piercing was an obstruction to the smooth release of the smoke.
"I guess it's just how heavy the air feels, and it's sort of like I'm suffocating." Syler said on the topic of the humidity. Lauren's face lit up eagerly with a sense of excitement.
"I've never met anyone with the same issue, dude, random, but what music are you into?" She said, excitedly.
"I guess some metal stuff, I don't know." Syler trailed off.
"Like what bands though, this is necessary question for... science." She joked, and Syler shrugged.
"I don't know, I guess I'm really into Reflections and Fallujah right now, but really it's just whatever I fancy." He said.
"Ever heard of Dance Gavin Dance or Periphery?" Lauren asked, eagerly, and Syler nodded.
"Yeah, I've been meaning to look into them more." Syler said, and the two ended up hitting a dead end street, so they turned around and began walking back. Syler felt a sort of connection with Lauren, which wasn't something he was used to. He had only connected this much when he would talk with Zane. He wasn't used to connections, but he wasn't opposed to it, he sort of liked it.
"I've never met a kid like me, usually people just stare with their death glares or looks of disgust." Lauren said, and Syler thought about that, and how Ashley was the same with him, and the thought made him shudder, which was noticeable to Lauren. She looked over at him, concerned.
"You ok dude?" She asked, and he nodded.
"Yeah, sorry, I get the shakes sometimes." Syler said.
"Ah, I get you my dude." She said, and they walked in silence for a bit until Syler felt the need to speak again.
"Why would people look down on you, you're gorgeous." He said, and she shrugged.
"I'm guessing it's my hair and the holes in my face." She said.
"That's sad really, judging people from their appearances, it's low life really." Syler said, and Lauren nodded after breathing out the smoke. The two had smoked their cigarettes almost to the bud.
"Yeah, but it's human life, some just aren't as accepting as others I guess." Lauren observed. The two would pass a few people on the sidewalk, some smiled, some ignored them, and some glared at them with disgust or surprise. Syler had never observed the outside world, he was so obsessed with his thoughts and these dreams that he'd almost lost his insight on the world. It got worse as time went on, especially now as the two worlds seemed to be moving and forming into one. Syler felt a pounding in his head again, and the hooded creature appeared in his peripheral vision, this time doing it's ritual, along with the blood, it had wrung out intestines around its' neck as a scarf, or at least that's what it looked like. He shook his head to try and get rid of the hallucinations. Lauren grew concerned.
"Hey dude, you ok?" She asked, and Syler felt the headache finally resolve again, and he nodded.
"Sorry, I got a bad headache, it's better now." He apologized to her, and Lauren threw her bud into a trash can that was on the side of the concrete. Syler tried to secretly burn his skin, as he did after every hallucination that he had. He pulled both his arms to one side and pushed the bud into his arm. He tried to not show the wincing and the pain from the burn, but his face showed slight discomfort. Lauren noticed this.
"Syler, you sure you're ok?" Lauren asked, and Syler nodded and threw his cigarette bud to the side of the road.
"Yeah, I get migraines a lot, they come and go." Syler lied. He then covered the burns with the sleeve of his shirt before Lauren could see.
"Oh man, that sucks dude, really." She said, and Syler shrugged.
"You get used to them." He said, and then they ended up in front of Syler's house.
"Still it sucks that those happen, they're definitely not ideal." Lauren tried to sympathize with Syler, and he shrugged.
"This is my place actually, you wanna go in or something?" He asked, and Lauren looked at her phone.
"I'll need a ride home at like three, but sure, you're a cool kid man." Lauren said, and the two walked into Syler's house, and he had his fingers crossed his mom wouldn't be home to complain that Syler hadn't eaten all morning. His mom seemed to love to express her concern for Syler's habits, especially in front of others, as if she was looking for validation of some sorts. It very much so bothered Syler. He opened the door and was greeted immediately with a very much familiar voice.
"Where have you been?" His mom said, and Syler sighed. She was the last person he wanted to see.
"I was out, on a walk." He said, and she walked into the living room.
"You haven't eaten yet young man," She scolded and then met eyes with Lauren. "Who's this you brought?" She asked.
"I'm Lauren." Lauren introduced herself.
"She's a friend." Syler immediately said to defend himself, and avoid any awkward questions.
"Ah, well, welcome Lauren, Syler needs his breakfast, as he has not eaten all day and it's almost noon." His mom said, and pointed out, like she always loved to do. Syler sighed.
"I'll make something mom, just stop pointing it out to everyone." Syler said, annoyed.
"Oh go right ahead, I just care about you." His mom said, and Syler rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, she's just like an average mom, and a little on the overprotective side for sure." Syler apologized to Lauren and she shrugged.
"I get that, my mom's like that." She said and we walked up to my room. My mom sighed.
"Syler, eat something, now." She yelled from the bottom of the stairs, and I roll my eyes.
"Sorry, she'll not stop unless I eat." Syler apologized to Lauren and she shrugged.
"Go ahead dude, I don't care." She said and then followed Syler downstairs into the kitchen where he made a bowl of dry Fruit Loops again, and the two walked back upstairs.
"Anyways, whelp, this is my room." Syler said, and he put his bowl of cereal on his desk.
"Did you paint the canvases on the wall?" Lauren asked, and Syler nodded.
"Yeah, I'm a bit of a painter." Syler said.
"I'm in training to be a tattoo artist myself, art people are cool." Lauren said, and Syler grabbed his sketchbook.
"Do you want to look through my sketchbook or?" Syler suggested and Lauren nodded.
"For sure man, I love this stuff." She said and looked through the art and sketches that Syler had created. He didn't know why he trusted her as much as he did, but he did for some reason. He was trusting his instincts about Lauren, and they weren't yelling danger about her like they did about Ashley. Syler decided to trust them with her, and if they would work against him, then so be it.
"Sorry for being sort of weird in all this, I know I met you this morning and now you're in my house, it's a little awkward." Syler apologized and Lauren handed him his sketchbook back.
"Yo, I trust you dude, don't apologize, I do this a lot, I meet people on the streets and end up befriending them, met my ex that way actually." She said, and Syler looked confused.
"Ex?" He asked, and she chuckled.
"Person I used to date, you're not very much in the loop are you dude?" She said, and Syler shook his head.
"Not really, I don't spend a lot of time in conversation." Syler explained.
"It shows, but it's not a bad thing, it's actually kind of cool to see a kid who's not yet tainted with the world." Lauren said. Syler spent too much time in his own head to even think of the outside world anyway. He tried to stay away from news, as the news would stress him out even more.
"I guess yeah." Syler said, and Lauern eyed his bowl of dry cereal.
"You didn't even eat yet." Lauren noticed and Syler shrugged.
"I guess I forgot." Syler said.
"You should eat it though, because otherwise your mom will get on you." Lauren said and the two sat on Syler's floor. Syler was eating the bowl of cereal and Lauren was searching for new music that the two could listen to.
"You ever heard of The Fall of Troy?" She asked and Syler shook his head.
"Not yet." He said, and she looked at Syler's laptop.
"Is it ok if I use your laptop for a second?" She asked, and Syler nodded.
"Why not?" He asked, and got his laptop from his bed.
"Well I didn't know if you had porn or something on it." She said and Syler's cheeks grew red.
"Oh, I'm not really into that stuff I guess." He said and she pulled up a tab for youtube, then typed stuff into the search bar, and pulled up a song.
"This is off of Manipulator, it's definitely decent." She explained, and the two listened to it. Syler was intrigued by the guitar, and Lauren was just moving her upper body to the music.
Once the song finished Syler looked out the window for a second to regain his sense of the real world, the screen made his reality sort of crash down and mix with his thoughts.
"The guitar was insane really, never knew anyone could play like that." Syler observed and Lauren nodded.
"Some people are geniuses on that instrument." She said, and Syler agreed. He took a few Fruit Loops out of his bowl and ate them. He was very much thankful that his appetite wasn't lost while Lauren was around.
"I agree man, it's like painting but with sounds." Syler observed."Definitely, and I find it absolutely beautiful." Lauren said, and the two smiled at each other, and Syler felt some sort of connection.