Chapter quarte -What if's-
*Song* Imagine Dragons *Nothing Left To Say Now/ Rocks*
Dedicated to SneezingTurtle. If you like unique boyxboy stories with epic descriptions and massive chapters, her stories are for you. My personal favorite is Victim ^_^
Psst, that's Peter up above.
Why was PE mandatory?
Why couldn't I take something like art or music or heck, even a cooking class. Anything is better than gym. I had elected to not take it as a freshman so I had to take it now if I wanted to graduate. I hated it.
The school seemed to think that everyone was athletically inclined. There was a large portion of students who were, but I was not. What's the purpose of running around a stupid track for fifteen minutes? I could be doing something much more productive.
Then again, I wasn't particularly good at anything so of course I was going to rag on it. While I was puffing and panting, Sebastian and Luke were practically running circles around me. Can't forget the fact that Dannie had practically sprouted wings and she was flying past all of the guys and girls.
I seriously contemplated about whether or not anyone would notice if I jumped behind the bleachers on my next lap; then stayed there of the remainder of the period...
"Don't even think about it, Cammy." I nearly fell down when someone breathed that in my ear. I whipped my head around. Dannie flashed me a grin. "I know you're thinking about running off, but it's not worth failing PE." I gave her a look.
"It...might...be..." I panted. She rolled her eyes and slowed down to a jog. It was still hard for me to keep up with her. "I don't understand what all the girls find so attractive in you," She gave me a joking once-over. "You're kinda cute, but nothing to talk about."
"Could...say the...same...for you." I wheezed.
"Jesus, Cameron, it's a wonder how you're even able to get out of bed in the morning. It's like all your physical energy is used on buying and making beanies." Okay, so maybe the beanie was a bit more than just an accessory. I had gotten into the habit of wearing them when my aunt Tracy had given me one for my tenth birthday. She didn't know what to get me and she just happened to be in a clothing store.
Well, lucky for her I fell in love with it. Ever since then I'd started collecting and making them. Sitting in the back of my closet, I had empty shoe boxes full of beanies, organized by color and theme.
I may have had a slight addiction to them.
But that's normal right? It was like how some girls always wore a specific clothing item, like knee high socks or hipster glasses.
"True." When the PE teacher finally blew his whistle I was beyond thankful. I hobbled towards the locker rooms and hunted around for my clothes. I hated everything about the locker rooms. I didn't know if they had that other schools, but at our schools locker room encounters were never fun. The locker room was heavy with a thick cloud of must and steam constantly, which seemed to make everyone feel worse. Often times there were fights in the locker room, it could have been from a variety of things, but many of them were on the basis of one guy thinking another was gay. It may have been jokingly but more often than not it was serious.
Most guys chose to shower during the break time, but I couldn't do it. The showers were disgusting, if some alien life form had taken residence in the showers I wouldn't have been suprised. The showers were extremely old and some of them were rusted. It was rumored that they hadn't been replaced in over twenty years.
So in an effort to avoid whatever was looming in the showers, I choose to battle the smell with plenty of deodorant and body spray. Dannie called it a 'hooker's bath'. I quickly stripped out of my clothes and got my clothes out of my locker. I set them on the bench beside me and pulled on my jeans. Then I took out my body spray and positioned the bottle in front me, ready to douse myself in a cloud of spray.
"Hey, aren't you going to take a shower?" Sebastian was standing a couple of feet away. His hair was dripping water down his shirt front, it was a little distracting.
He snapped his fingers and I jumped a little. He had a faint smile on his lips. "Eyes up here, Cam."
I could already feel my face heating up. "No I wasn't--"
He held a hand up to quiet me. "I know. I'm kidding." There was an awkward pause.
After a few more beats of silence I said, "Uh, well, I don't know if you noticed or not; but I'm pretty sure something is living in those showers. How can you stand being in there?"
He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes and said, "Well it's easy to stand it if you pretend you're somewhere else. You could pretend you're in a hotel, or in the rain or...Niagara Falls. Sometimes a fantasy is better than reality, you know?" He looked like he wanted to add more because he kind of dropped the last sentence, but instead he walked over to his locker and started taking out his stuff.
"Maybe I'll try taking a shower here next time." I muttered as I put on my shirt.
I didn't get to make anymore conversation when the rest of the guys' started filling the room. That was around the time I liked to leave. Right before the chaos started. I had a set strategy for coming in the locker rooms. I would go in, get undressed, take a cologne shower, get dressed, and leave before the rest of the guys came in and started trouble.
Remember what I said about the homophobic guys earlier?
Well this was where they came into play. All of two people were out of the closet at our school. One was a freshmen who had a huge, football-playing brother who was prepared to beat the crap out of anyone who disrespected his brother. The other was a sophomore who wasn't so lucky. Nearly everyday the guys in the locker room would corner Peter Lainwright and pick at him. Peter was about as small as me if not even smaller, than me so he was an easy target. Not all of the guys participated in picking on the poor kid, we knew it was wrong, but no one tried to stop it.
I didn't want to be a part of it and as much as I would have liked to stop it, I wasn't physically capable of protecting myself if the instigators turned on me. I could barely run around the track, much less fend off an attack.
So I choose to ignore it, I wouldn't take part in it or acknowledge it.
It was easier to leave before it started, so I could pretend nothing was going on. Most of us would be gone before we saw them back Peter into the corner. Everyone was somewhat used to it by now.
Everyone but Sebastian.
I glanced over at him. His brow was furrowed. "What's going on over there?" Peter was surrounded by a ring of guys, you could hear the insults from where we were standing, they were the kind of things that felt insulting, even if they weren't directed at you. Peter didn't say anything in response.
Someone slammed him against the lockers. Sebastian looked confused. "Why are they doing that to him?" His brow was furrowed.
"He's gay." I said quietly as I packed up my stuff. Sebastian didn't say anything in response. His face turned into a smooth mask. To my surprise he dropped his bag and strood over to the crowd. He pushed his way through the ring and over to Peter. Peter looked just as shocked as me when Sebastian pulled him through the boys and out of the locker room.
The boys who had been bullying Peter yelled various insults after them but didn't follow the two of them. After about half a second I took off after Sebastian, leaving the rest of them in there. I ran out of the locker room and saw he was no where to be found. I decided I would ask him about what happened during lunch.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*
When I got to our table I saw Dannie chattering with... Peter Lainwright? Sebastian was sitting next to him and Luke was munching on a sub. I sat down beside Dannie. She was right in the middle of saying something. "... why didn't you tell someone?" The question was directed at Peter.
Peter was an inch or two taller than me and very slender. He had vibrant blue hair and arms lined with bracelets. "My parents don't know I'm gay. I didn't know how they would take it so I didn't tell them." He sighed, his face the embodiment of miserable. "I only told one person and then it blew out of proportion. Next thing I know, half my friends won't even look at me and I'm getting pushed around in the locker room." He put his head in his hands.
It did not seem appropriate to ask Sebastian at the moment. I decided I'd ask him later. "I did not know this was what happens around here." Sebastian said with a shake of his head.
"I can tell," I watched as he made a vicious stab with his fork. "You're having a noticeable reaction."
He frowned. "This is not okay, why are you guys letting this happen?"
Dannie gave him an incredulous look. "I didn't know about this until today! I knew Peter was gay, but I didn't know he was getting pushed around for it!" True. The girls' probably wouldn't have seen Peter getting abused by the guys' because they only did it in places like the locker rooms, where they could gang up on him and get away with it.
Sebastian turned to Luke. Luke took a huge bite of his sub. "I 'don 'ave eim." Dannie smacked him.
"You know I hate when you talk with your mouth full that's so grody."
He swallowed, then repeated himself. "I don't have gym." Now Sebastian looked at me. I threw my hands up. "I couldn't have stopped them if I tried. In the process of trying to help him I probably would have ended up getting my own butt kicked." He opened his mouth to say something, but the bell cut him off.
"Peter, if any of these idiots give you an trouble again, we have your back. All of us." We all bobbed our heads in agreement.
Peter grinned in happiness. "Good to know some of you at this school aren't completely heartless... I gotta get going but thanks guys!" He then scrambled off to his next class. Dannie and Luke waved goodbye as we parted ways. Sebastian and I walked silently to our next class. I tilted my head upward to look at him. His lips were still pushed into a frown, but he looked thoughtful.
"Do you want to hang out today?" He said as we neared the classroom.
"As much as I would like to, I have to help my mom clean the house and make dinner for her boyfriend..." I sighed. Keith was just... ugh. "Maybe tomorrow though. If you're free tomorrow night you could come with me and Dannie to this party that's going on."
"Yes, I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I'll give you my number after class and you can send me the details." I nodded. We stopped talking after that and turned into the classroom. I had an odd thought before I sat down in my chair.
This is the most comfortable I've ever been with anyone besides Dannie and Luke. Especially someone I only just met about three days ago. Strange.
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"Cameron, can you go clear the living room? I've got the kitchen." I went into the living room and started moving the magazines that were stacked on the coffee table. I didn't know what the purpose of cleaning all of our stuff up for Keith was. It wasn't like he cared. He was one of those guys who thought grunting was a form of communication. I tried to stay out of his way since our personalities were so different.
When I was done, I checked to make sure mom didn't need anything else then I plopped on the couch and pulled out my phone. I decided to text Dannie.
-Hey, I'm waiting for my death sentence. Humor me.
-Death sentence?
-Keith.
-Oooh, sorry babe. Want to hear a joke?
-I said humor me did I not?
-Okay: Your love life. OOooooh kill 'em!
-(;_;) Why must you hurt me. WHY?
-It's the truth baby.
I think I heard Keith come in, talk to ya later.
I luv yoooou even when no one else does
How depressing. LOL luv you too Dan.
I smiled and shoved my phone in my pocket. My smile faded when Keith sauntered into the room. He was a tall man and had a rugged country look about him. He was in his normal attire jeans, a plaid shirt, and work boots. He scratched the stubble on his chin absently. "Where's your mom?" I pointed towards the kitchen. He nodded and walked off. From the kitchen I heard my mom send a large amount vocals to him and get a small bit in reply.
I listened to them talk for a little bit. I wondered how things could have been different. Maybe if my dad hadn't abandoned us all those years ago things would be better. Or maybe if I had been the girl my mom was hoping for we might've gotten along easier. She never directly told me she had wished for a girl when she was pregnant; but she didn't have to. I saw the look in her eyes when we went to a dress shop and she chattered away about clothes while I looked disinterested.
She wanted a girl, but what did she get instead? A short, disappointment of a son who couldn't even look her in the eye.
So many maybes and what if's. Too many to think about at once.
"Cameron! Time for dinner." I stood up and strode into the kitchen. Keith was sitting at the table reading the newspaper I set out for him on mother's orders. The woman herself was standing in front of the stove stirring something in a tall pot. Keith made a sound of distaste at the table. He shook his head at the news paper. "Cameron, can you bring the plates over here?" We were having make-up spaghetti since we didn't have it the day before. I lined up the plates on the counter so she could fill them. I was reminded of Alice when she did this. More so the differences then the similarities.
Alice would think aloud while she filled up a bowl. She would stand at the pot with her hair in a bun, barefoot and dressed in casual wear. Alice had that warm, motherly feel to her. My mother was silent as she filled up the plates. Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders and she was outfitted in a sundress and wedges. She could easily pass off as being in her late twenties or early thirties. Most people didn't believe that she had an eighteen year old son, she couldn't possibly... not looking young like that.
She had been a model in her younger life and she still retained a lot of that beauty and grace. You could tell it was there as she sat the plates on the table. If she hadn't had me might she still have an active career as a model. But she did, and I killed her dreams.
We said grace and we began eating. "What was it you were shaking your head about when Cameron came in?"
Keith scrunched his face up. "Lets see. my team lost, idiot politicians are ruining our country, and to top it off? Faggots. They're all anyone can talk about this week aparently." I winced. Apparently Keith was homophobic too. Just add it to the growing list of things I didn't like about him.
"Well, it's just one of those weeks, I guess." She said, delicately wiping her face on a napkin. I noticed she didn't correct him on his homophobic slur. Well of course she wouldn't, she was too religious and blind to see beyond the Bible. I wondered if this was what Peter had to deal with at home, his parents indirectly insulting him while talking about everyday things.
I pushed my food around my plate and zoned out while they talked. Eventually I made my spaghetti disappear along with my meatballs and garlic bread. My mother excused herself to go to the bathroom at one point and left Keith and I sitting awkwardly at the table. I studied the remaining noodles on my plate and pushed them into a little pile using my fork.
"So, Cameron." I looked up. Keith rubbed the back of his neck, probably trying to remember what was it said it do in A Male's Guide To Dating a Woman With a Strange Beanie-wearing Child "Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No." I said shortly.
"Oh, well..." He looked away uncomfortably. "... you're not a fag are you?"
For some reason I felt a flare of anger. "No, I'm not gay. And if I was, I wouldn't appreciate you calling me a fag or a faggot. You shouldn't call people bundles of sticks or cigarettes anyway." Anger with a splash of sarcasm. He looked mystified. I stood up and casually walked away like nothing happened. When I got upstairs I went my room, locked my door, and began working on my homework for the night. I couldn't help but think I was wrong and right for saying what I did. But it was too late at this point.
I was right for saying you shouldn't call people bundles of sticks (the actual definition of faggot) and cigarettes (In the UK if someone asks for a fag they're asking for a cigarette, not a homosexual), but I was wrong for doing it at all. It was going to make my mom upset, and even if we had a distant relationship I didn't want her to be upset.
After about fifteen minutes I heard someone knock on my door. Most likely my mother. I ignored her and crawled into bed. She gave up on knocking when she realized I wasn't going to come out. I made a mental note to wake up early so I could avoid confrontation with her in the morning. Then I drifted off into sleep.
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You there! Thanks for reading my story! I love how people commented "I like this..." Like they were reading something strange and weren't sure if they hated it or liked... then the latter won xD
Welp, I felt kinda meh about this so just leave me some comments/votes to make me feel better and I'll continue to post and stuff... Yeah...
What's your favorite clothing item? Mine are leggings. Yes, it's strange, but I can wear them year-round and the prints are cool.
*End awkward author's note*