〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜
Mark: Monday, 5 December
〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜
I settled at my desk, it was today and then two more days before I could leave and refuse to come back - even though I knew I would, this was a good gig I had going on here. If only Jack hadn't been in this class, I would have been fine. I would have been alright. I would not have been feeling this exhausted and thus deprived of feeling.
In the door came Elise, she smiled at me and set down a ceramic mug on my desk. "I brought you some tea, I thought it might help you feel better. You look kind of pale."
"Thanks." I said. "I'm not sick though."
"Well, it's flu season, so just be careful, okay?" Elise said. She was always so kind and sweet about everything, my mind would occasionally wander over to what Felix told me about her, but I tried to ignore the best I could. I wasn't interested in this girl like that.
After a beat of silence, Elise tottered back towards the door. "Well, class is starting soon. I hope you feel better Mark. I can tell something is bothering you. If you want to talk, I can listen, okay? I have second period free too, you know."
"Thanks Elise." I flashed a weak smile to her as she walked out of the room. I looked at the glass of tea, I wasn't a big fan of it but maybe it would help me after all. So I would take small sips of it before setting it back down.
In the students poured, Jack kept his head down and refused to meet my eye. I guess I was okay with that. "Mr. Fischbach," Emily spoke and I turned my head to her. "You look like you've been hit by a bus! Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just a bit tired I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Here, have this." Emily set down a protein bar on my desk. "You should try it, I have them in the morning and they work like coffee, I bet you would like it too!"
"Thank you Emily." I gave her a small smile and she looked rather pleased with herself before settling back down in her chair. Smoothing out her shorter-than-all-hell skirt among her legs and I watched her do it, she caught my eye too, but she only smiled as if she was innocent.
I cleared my throat and took role. "Jack McLoughlin." I said and Jack didn't even react to me. "Jack?" I turned my head to him and could see that he also looked exhausted.
"Here.." He mumbled. I nodded before turning back and doing the rest of attendence. The students solved problems on the board and when Jack rose his hand, I wasn't the only one who was surprised.
"Go ahead, Jack." I said and I passed him the marker. He stood up and solved it on the board, I didn't look until he was done. He threw the marker back down and sat back at his seat. I looked at it and blinked a few times. "That's.. That's it. Good job, Jack."
"Sure." He replied. Everyone was incredibly shocked by this, even though no one outwardly reacted to it, I could see that he didn't even respond himself.
I continued the problems, and on the next one Emily's hand shot up into the air. She took the marker and smiled before handing it back to me. I looked it over before nodding. "Very good, Emily. That's one hundred percent correct."
"Woo!" Emily clapped with a bit of forced enthusiasm. She gave a high five to Gena and then I resumed with the class; Emily answered four more problems correctly.
When class ended, Jack allowed himself to linger long enough to be the last one in the classroom. He walked up to my desk and handed me his worksheets that were due last week. "By the way," He said. "I only got that problem right because it was on this worksheet."
"Oh.." I said quietly. "I see."
"I'm just as stupid as ever, don't get your hopes up." Jack sighed and went to walk away but I grabbed his wrist. He froze and turned back to me, pulling his wrist out of my grasp but still looking at me.
"You aren't stupid." I told him.
He laughed a little, it was sarcastic, I could definately tell. "Sure." He replied and then walked out of the classroom. I ran a hand down my face, I couldn't just get over that boy. I decided to go see what Elise had to say about it. So I stood up and walked down the hall by students who greeted me with smiles, I reached Elise's room and walked inside as she was straightening out papers.
"Mark!" She smiled when she saw me. "Come to talk, I suppose?" I nodded. "Shut the door and come in, grab a seat." I did as she instructed and dragged the chair over to the side of her desk where she wheeled closer to me. She smiled at me and waited for me to begin talking.
"So.." I took a deep breath. How do I say this? "There's this girl, who I'm kind of with but not entirely."
"Oh, that already doesn't sound good." Elise went wide eyed. "What do you mean, 'not entirely?'"
"Well.." I took another deep breath. "We've been flirty with one another and she's slept at my house and we've kissed and everything. We're kind of together but not really in any official sense."
"Well than ask her out, Mark." Elise smiled. Maybe Felix was wrong about her, she seems to be handling this a lot better than I expected. "That's what she's probably waiting for!"
"But I don't know if I should ask her out." I ran a hand down my face as I spoke. "She's known for being kind of a flirt and acting this way with a lot of people. She says that it's nothing like that with me, but I don't know if I should.."
"If you should commit yourself to someone who might cheat on you?" Elise asked, I nodded my head. "Well, Mark, if she's telling you that she's going to be faithful to you, you should trust that." I didn't know if I could agree with her. "After all, she wouldn't be trying to convince you for no reason. And if you think about it, literally anyone you date has the possibility of cheating on you. You'll never know if you would have been happy if you don't give it a chance."
I nodded, I understood what she was saying.
"You know, Mark," Elise smiled a little bit at me as she put her hand on mine. "You're a really swell guy, if she wants to be with you, she probably means it. After all, she wouldn't know what she was missing otherwise."
I laughed nervously. "I guess I just have a hard time with trusting people."
"Well.. I think living with the regret of doing it is better than living with the constant reminder that you never even tried." Elise shrugged. "Who knows? You could be really happy with her. Feel better now?" I nodded my head. "Okay then! I have these papers to grade, but I'll talk to you later?" I nodded again and stood up, thanking her for her help before exiting.
What Elise said was true - even though I slightly lied about the situation - but I still had a hard time buying into what she said.
I walked into the bathroom, thinking about splashing water off of my face to help me relax - I don't even know if it works, I just wanted to try I supposed. I did that and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I heard some shouting in the hallway and I walked out to see Jack standing, arguing with Emily.
"Jack, it's a part of the bet!" Emily put her hands on her waist. "I can do whatever I want to win it!"
"I'm just telling you to lay off, Emily!" Jack snapped back at her.
"Afraid you're going to lose?" Emily teased him, she laughed a little. "What.. Don't tell me you're actually getting attached? If anything that should be against the rules, Jack! It gives you the unfair advantage."
"Shouldn't you two be in class?" I interrupted the two and they both jumped when their heard my voice.
"M-Mr. Fischbach!" Emily gasped.
"I don't know what you two are talking about," I said. "And frankly, I don't want to know. Just get to class before I give you detention for skipping it."
"Yes of course, sorry sir.." Emily said quietly. She walked off, but Jack stood there, he looked like he was going to start crying.
"Are you going to go to class, Mr. McLoughlin?" I asked.
"I.. I.." Jack stuttered, but didn't answer. "I want to tell you.. But I can't.."
"Tell me what?" I asked.
Jack's face became very solemn all of a sudden and he swallowed down his fear. "Never mind. It doesn't matter, Emily is going to win."
I went wide eyed. "Win what?"
"We made a bet. Emily is going to win because I fuck everything up." Jack let out a sigh. "That's what we were talking about, we made a bet and now I'm going to lose. If I lose, then everything goes up in god damn flames!"
"Come into my room, after school Jack. I want to talk to you about this." I said. "Go to class, now." He obeyed me and walked down the hallway. I had no idea what he was going on about, and frankly, I don't really know if I want to.
~AN
Stress stress stress.
So someone asked me out today, right? Annnnnnd I told them no? And I feel bad about it but like.. I don't know what else I would have done.
Rinny!