Chapter eight
“I’m not afraid…not afraid…to take a stand”… “Lose yourself in the music…” “Bitch you get no love, no love, no love” “Me and my girl Natalia we don’t make it up…” “It’s 3 in the morning…” “When I’m Gone…just carry on, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice, just know that I’m lookin down and smile…”
Sixty- thousand people are jumping out of their seats they are throwing roses at my feet I look in the crowd and my little boy is standing there, begging me and asking me to stop using. What is Ronnie doing here? Ronnie had his head in his hands, as if he was crying. Naturally I ran through the screaming crowds to embrace him. His head gently laid on my shoulder.
“Ronnie where is mommy?” My voice echoed.
He suddenly grew; he had brown hair like mine and gray eyes like Natalia’s. He had to be no older then Whitney. I got up from my knees as Ronnie towered over me. His face read hate and anger, and it was all towards me. I knew it somehow.
“You left me!” he shouted. Left him? “Why did you do it dad!” he shouted.
“I thought you loved me! How come you caved?”
I suddenly jumped from my seat gasping like I was running a marathon. Everyone on the bus seemed contempt and asleep. It was week two of the tour, my body was exhausted and I can’t stand my songs anymore. I’ve been living on fast food, TV dinners, and energy drinks. My ears still ring from the screaming fans.
Deep down, I begged to be home. Renee gave me a day’s supply of food to heat up fast, which I’m sorry to say will be in the garbage. I don’t even have time to sit and eat. I was miserable, and at times I feel I’m at the peak of breaking and using again. I’m not afraid of this demon, and I won’t allow it to push me.
Slowly, I laid myself back onto the couch. I closed my eyes imaging Natalia was somehow on the bus and she tip toed slowly next to me and kissed me. The calming thought kept me in between reality and dream. I could almost feel her lips against mine, her head nestled under my arms. It felt increadable almost real.
I groaned, “Natalia” feeling my lips move. Her audio was gibberish but I knew what she was saying somehow.
“Don’t leave me” I manage to say. She smiled softly and kissed my temple. Her eyes seemed glazy and misty as if she was crying.
“I miss you” I whispered.
The bus came to a jolt and I was startled awake. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders but a slender of guilt was hanging, I didn’t get to say goodbye to her or tell her I love her. I sighed laying my head against the head rest, starring at the ceiling.
“Ok, folks hop off! Los Angeles here we are!” The driver said. People began to line up and moving up and off.
“Natalia, I love you” I mumbled, hoping at some point of space, she could hear me.
--
The Detroit air began to cool and had a fall feeling too it. My co-workers started to wear little sweaters and vest around the office and cracking the windows. It was a work day where I was swamp with paper and file work; I take blame though, I can’t focus anymore, Marshall barely calls and it worries me.
Tina suddenly knocked on my door while opening it, Tina never does that unless it’s important. Unfourntally I was on the phone a very important call too. I let my client finish his sentence before I said, “Cou-Could you hold on Mr. Pert?”
“Ok thank you!” I put the phone on hold as I hung up.
“Natalia, there is a Mrs. Naomi Riggs here” Tina questioned, my heart suddenly dropped and a hug smile came onto my face. My expression said it all I knew who it was. Naomi gently came inside as Tina stepped out. Naomi had her arms around her small bump and cradled it like a baby.
“Naomi?” I questioned, her face hasn’t changed her hair was longer and in a braid.
“Como esta, chicka!” she exclaimed, like she use too. I jumped out of my seat gawking at her. I embraced her in my arms.
“Oh My God look at you, Desmond’s baby I hope!” I kidded. “Chill, girl you know I don’t roll like that!” She exclaimed. I laughed hysterically.
“Where is Desmond?” “Oh, he went to go see Marshall at his studio” Naomi said. My smile disappeared knowing my husband wasn’t in the same state as I was. I know Marshall and Desmond are very close and Marshall would’ve love to see him.
“Marshall is on tour” I said.
“God Damn! Drove all the way down town to realize Marshall isn’t there!” Desmond exclaimed, bursting through the door. My heart dropped instantly about the fact my childhood friend was inches away from me. I gasped my hands around my mouth to keep the shreaking from coming out.
Desmond laughed, “Hello, you Polish girl”. I giggled, “Hello you Haitian”. Desmond gave me a hug like he used too. Making my arms glued to my sides. I remember the first day I meet Desmond. It was pre-k, and it was a class party our moms were the class moms, meaning they were in charge of the party.
My mother made a Polish pastry, which she knew was my favorite. Desmond eyed the pastry like it was a bug I was putting in my mouth. I eyed him,
“What?” I sneered.
“Nothing girl, why you gotta be so mean!” he exclaimed.
“Well, I’m Sicilian and Sicilians have mean tempers,” I picked at the pastry.
“If you are Sicilian then why you eating a Polish cookie?”
“Because I’m both”
“You can’t be both of something” he exclaimed.
“Well, I am and deal with it!”
“Fine if you Polish what’s ya last name, fool?”
I glared at him, “I’m no fool, my name is Natalia Kamila Trimmoushki my daddy is Polish- Sicilian my mama is Sicilian”.
--
“I still can’t believe you didn’t kick my ass that day” Desmond laughed. I picked at my salad.
“You got lucky, my mom had to wash my hands” I said seriously.
“You guys became friends based on a fight?” Naomi questioned. “Yeah, I liked Natalia she had power not every day you see that in a five year old.”
“Yeah well unforntely that power came from my dad” I said, sucking my lemon. “I liked Des, only because he talked funny at the time”.
My phone began to ring and it was Marshall! I was excited. I answered it quickly.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby what’s going on?” The static in the background made it almost impossible to hear him.
“Oh nothing, guess who is here”
“Who” I put the phone on speaker, “Hi Marshall!” Desmond and Naomi shouted.
“Oh God, when did you guys get there?” Marshall questioned.
“Just today” Naomi said.
“Take care of Talia, Desmond, I’ll be home soon!” My heart pounded.