BEAUTIFUL cover to the side is by the wonderful Badgieboss <3
Song to the side is "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. It really goes with the chapter, especially near the end. Ignore typos and weird mistakes, enjoy :)
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The entire ride was filled with complete silence. We managed to breakaway with no other struggles – you know, besides gracefully falling onto Adrian as I descended down an old tree in order to escape to a place I have no clue to where we're going – and slip away quickly.
Luckily, Adrian didn't bring his fancy car with him with the slightly higher amount of people, and we ended up making our escape with a regular looking family convertible.
It slightly satisfied my need for complete normalcy.
With the radio off, the only noise surrounding us was the light hum of the car as it advanced forward. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but there was a touch of tension in the air.
I let my eyes watch the passing scenery from outside the car window, while as Adrian kept his gaze focused on the road ahead. My phone was left behind, seeing as I didn't bring an necessities with me on this nighttime getaway.
Guilt lightly nudged my conscious as I thought of my everyone – excluding Thomas, who is probably only interested in Adrian's location that may lure paparazzi – and my hand flew to my necklace to fiddle with it out of habit.
It was Thanksgiving, and where was I? Away without either of our parents' knowledge. Emma and Kelly were going to flip shit, leaving them with Thomas all of a sudden.
"Adrian, I think we should go back," I suggested timidly, turning to face him. As much as I'm angry with Thomas' words, I didn't want to leave my family hanging. I'd rather endure his criticism than get in trouble for ditching Thanksgiving dinner because I got sensitive, and Adrian felt that he needed to 'talk.' Our couch is worthy place to have a talk!
Adrian spared me a quick glance before turning back to the road. "No. We need to talk." He said.
"What's wrong with talking at my house?" I questioned.
"I just need to be alone with you."
Is my room not an option? We could always result to locking ourselves in the bathroom, or sitting out in the backyard. "But – "
"Macey," He interrupted, "Please."
Something about his firm and unwavering tone had my mouth clamping shut instantly, and we were succumbed in complete and utter silence once again.
I took a deep breath upon seeing the beach front. It sat right next to the boardwalk, but not as many people were spending the holiday there. Without a word, Adrian opened the car door and stepped out, slamming it closed behind him. He gestured for me to do the same, and I did.
I stepped into the cool air and walked by his side. He reached for my hand and lead me down, slowly, to the sand covered ground.
Thoughts ran through my head as I tried to conjure up what Adrian wanted to talk about exactly. There were plenty of things to talk about between us. From Cara Pratt's banquet to what Thomas said about our ridiculous 'puppy love.'
My blood boiled at the thought. Though I know it shouldn't, his words had me rethinking everything between Adrian and I. Was everything between us really just a stupid little crush? Adrian's been my crush since we were kids. Maybe it's something that should fade and fade for good instead of coming back four years after he disappeared out of my life.
But it came back.
Adrian and I sat down a few feet away from the outline of damp sand. Adrian stretched his legs before him and stared out into the horizon. I slipped my boots and socks off and dug my toes through the soft, cold sand. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested my chin on top and watched the tides rise and fall.
Sitting here on the beach with the sounds of the waves and distant noises filling my ears like a delightful tune created such a serene environment. It's a shame that we had to ruin the peace with topics that have been weighing down on us for a while now.
"What's going on between us?" I asked, my voice a bare whisper. Adrian stayed silent. And after a few moments of not getting a response, I spoke, " I mean, is Thomas right? Is all that's between us is puppy love?"
He still didn't answer. The only thing he was focused on was the waves ahead of him and the dark night sky that painted the horizon. The moon was in full view, it's ray of moonlight sprinkling the ripples of the water with it's delicate lighting.
Again, left with no response, I allowed a soft groan to leave my lips and let my forehead fall to my knees. This was certainly not how I imagined spending today. I expected a simple dinner filled with laughs and conversations about Kelly's wedding and teasing remarks from the men around the table who had a knack for mocking us women in a playful manner.
Not Thomas popping in to destroy that fantasy and replace it with drama, resulting to an awkward time at the beach where I was left to endure an uncomfortable time with Adrian, conversing through our relationship status that could not get anymore complicated.
"Say something," I mumbled dejectedly. "Don't just leave me hanging when you were the one that insisted on climbing down a tree, thinking I was falling to my doom, and then drag –"
"I like you, Macey."
"Me down to the beach and – wait." I lifted my head to meet his gaze. "What did you say?"
Adrian glanced over and held my stare, never wavering once. "I said I like you, Mace," He enunciated more slowly. "I like you a lot. I'm not going to lie."
"I-I..." Caught off by his blunt statement, I looked away, unsure of what to say. "Well I..."
"Do you like me back?" He asked cautiously, causing my head to whip towards his direction. What kind of question is that?
"Of course I do!" I shouted without a second thought. He raised an amused eyebrow at my quick response. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I realized that I should have approached that a little more subtly. "I mean, yeah. Yeah, I do," I scoffed lightly, making a face at my own stupidity as I turned away.
Idiot!
Adrian chuckled, and the sound of shuffling on the sand filled my ears before I was pulled into his warm embrace. His arms slipped around my waist, pulling me to his side and lying the both of us down side by side.
"It's not exactly bad news, Sweetheart, so don't feel embarrassed," He whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my neck. I smiled softly and relaxed into his arms, staring up at the dark blue sky. Well that bit was at least good to hear.
We fell into another round of silence, simply enjoying the moment while we were still living it. It was when thoughts of rushing back home and the urge to continue this conversation another day did Adrian finally speak. It wasn't something I wanted to hear, though.
"Did you really have a childhood crush on me?" He asked quietly, his calloused hand running up my arm lightly.
I sighed. I was going to have to face the music sooner or later. "Remember that paper in English that we had to do? The one where we passed it around so everyone could write something down about you?"
"Yeah."
"Do the words 'Then and now, you still have me crushing on you.' sound familiar?"
His eyes widened as he remembered the words. "That was you?" He asked, lifting his head to turn and look at me.
"Yeah." I smiled. "What we were writing was anonymous. I still hadn't given in to the fact that I had a crush on you to anyone back then, but I admitted it to that crappy piece of lined paper." A chuckle left my lips as I ran my hand through the soft sand.
Even in the state of denial, deep down inside I knew that my liking for Adrian hadn't completely faded. Most of it had when he left for LA, but it was never entirely gone. It was all in which I would accept the fact.
And I did. Now I was to have a heartfelt conversation about our feelings and relationship. Look where confessing got me!
"I thought it could've been anyone," He mused.
"Well now you know."
"Now I know. Just for the record, though, you guys were gushing over what I wrote." He said, a sense of cockiness in his voice.
My childhood crush.
"That was you?" I questioned loudly, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, it was," He chuckled. "So now you know. I always thought you were kinda cute back then – and now, of course. But then there were other reasons why I thought you were attractive. Besides the basic sweet, funny, and beautiful, you were always so real with me, no matter what stage I was on back then. That's what I really love about you."
My cheeks grew warm with the string of compliments, and a smile spread across my face. It took me a moment for his words to sink in. I never knew he thought that about me. Being real was never an option because it came so naturally. Adrian and I have been friends for years; I never acted any different because I grew so accustomed to being myself. And really, that's all I was doing: being myself.
Suddenly, with that knowledge, all things that I found confusing made sense.
"Wait, wait," I exclaimed, jumping to a sitting position and turning to him. "Was I that girl you were talking about when things didn't work out with Cammie?"
"And every other girl." He nodded. Sitting up with me, my hand was enveloped in his large ones and his eyes was cast downwards, avoiding my stare. I almost sighed knowing that what he just said wasn't his final thought.
I knew whatever he had to say was something that he didn't. And I knew it was something I didn't want to hear.
"But?" I urged gently, giving his hand a squeeze.
"But..." Adrian lifted his eyes to mine reluctantly. "We be can't anything more at the moment."
The words came out pained. Even though I expected him to say something similar to this, the confession still made my heart stutter and ache. My face dropped down, and I kept my focus on the sand to hide my disappointment and, admittedly, my embarrassment.
Why did I think that there could be something?
A finger lifting my chin made me look back into Adrian's eyes. "Don't do that, Mace," He whispered. "You didn't let me finish."
The chances of us being together was proved nonexistent, what else was there to say? Confused on what else he had to say, I let him continue.
"Look," He sighed deeply. "I know a lot of things has changed since I came back. I'm not just another face passing through the halls, my parents aren't working part time jobs to scrape up money, and Emma's not that sassy teenager that didn't know the difference between looking good and looking like a flashy disco ball."
I nodded, already having known how their lives are now. Adrian's face can be identified by everyone who hasn't been living under a rock. Connie and Dave are living off of their children's income. Sassy when need be, Kelly is an engaged women rocking the title of high fashion queen.
"And Thomas..." Shaking his head, a pained expression crossed his features. "Believe it or not, he's a good manager, and he know's best for my career. He made my dreams come true."
I wasn't going to deny that. Thomas, as much of a pain in the ass he is, was the one that landed Adrian his first movie. That movie started his acting career. Now he's living his dreams doing what he loves.
"We've got to give that guy credit, huh?" I chuckled, trying to lighten this conversation's mood.
"Yeah, we do." A brief smile touched Adrian's face before it dimmed down to a straight, serious line. "But he's not right about our relationship."
"He isn't?" I asked dumbly, backtracking the conversation when he said that we couldn't be anything more than what we are now.
The look Adrian sent me made me feel like I was the one who crushed the possiblities of there being an 'us.'
"No, he isn't," He said, almost immediately. "I told you, you had to let me finish. We can't be anything at the moment. That doesn't mean we can't down the road."
"What are you talking about?"
"All I'm saying is that we lay low for a while until we get our shit together," Adrian explained. "I don't want Thomas throwing a tantrum and causing an uproar with publicity. With Clara's banquet coming up..." His voice trailed off as he watched me carefully. "What's wrong?"
I ran my hand through my hair and looked away.
Trying to work out how we're suppose to be together isn't normal for a relationship. There shouldn't be barriers blocking our being together. Especially barriers that include factors of his career. Is being a couple really what's good for him? For the both of us? For his career?
I don't know where life is going to take me down the road, and whether or not Adrian will be a part of it, or just up and leave again. What's going to happen to us then if we become something more? I go off to college while Adrian leaves and continues living his dream?
I don't know if I could take being away from him again. I can't. I can't!
"Adrian." I shook my head. With my heart in my throat, I forced out the words that I never thought would say, "No. We can't be together. Not like this." Not having the guts to take in Adrian's expression, I stood up and began walking away.
I didn't hear anything at first – no footsteps, no sound of confusion. It came to me as more than a surprise when fingers wrapped around my wrist and pulled me backwards, twirling me around and colliding into Adrian's body. With my hands being restrained, my struggle was weak and worthless as Adrian kept me flush against him.
"Macey, wait," He begged, exasperation tinting his tone.
"No!" I shouted, halting my movements to stare him dead in the eyes. "It shouldn't be this complicated. We shouldn't have to be holding back. If you really wanted us to be together, it would have happened. But I care about you and your career, and with how things have been going lately, I'm sure as hell not good for it."
"I came back to do these things," Adrian argued, gripping my wrists tighter to the point where it was almost painful. None of that mattered as I listened to him yell in frustration. "I want to finish senior year, hang out with friends, celebrate holidays with your family like we use to. This is my chance to be in a real relationship with a real girl. I want to be with you, Macey, believe that."
"And what about after your 'break'?" I shot back. His leaving back then crushed me four years ago, and we had only been best friends. If we were to become something more now, I couldn't imagine how hard it will be when we have to go our separate ways at the end of graduation. It would hurt too much.
The whispered statement softened Adrian's features. His vice grip around my wrist were loosened, letting them fall limp to my side when he took my face in between his in a gentle and affectionate hold. I felt the roughness of his thumb skim across my cheek, gliding towards my hair and tucking it behind my ears. His forehead rested against mine, and I could feel my inner fight dying within me.
Just be with him!
It could be him, or it could be my brain malfunctioning with the lack of oxygen due to the close proximity that has me conjuring up delusions of Adrian being closer than before, almost to the point where lifting my head would connect our lips together.
Reality dawned on me then, causing the party of butterflies to throw the party of the century in my poor stomach, when Adrian's gaze flickered down to my lips before slowly, cautiously, brushing his own against mine.
Two seconds of shock.
Two seconds of nervousness.
Two long seconds of absolute courage.
"Don't give up on us," He whispered.
And the moment our lips met, I already made a decision.
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IT HAPPENED! This was suppose to happen later in the story, but I just went nah. I hope this makes up for the long time it took me to update :( I really did expect to have absolutely no plans for the winter break besides the handful of parties we had, but I ended up going out almost everyday. Just yesterday I was sitting down, typing this chapter when all of a sudden my parents tell me to come along and go to a friend's house because something was wrong with their water heater. Next thing I know, I'm sleeping over.
Anyways, I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and a very happy New Years! Welcome to 2014 :D School starts back up on Monday (boo) and my semester exams are coming up (double boo) so I may not be able to update for a while until they are over (TRIPLE BOO). I should be getting back to updates around my birthday :)
This chapter was super hard for me to write because I could never get the words to come out right, so I would love to hear your comments. I plan on coming back and re-editing this.
VOTE, SHARE, FOLLOW, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK <3
Lots of love,
-Jesse :) <3
PS, OMG THEY KISSED!