To say that I was avoiding both Eleanor and Kelly would be an understatement.
Well, not really, I wasn't avoiding Eleanor, Eleanor was avoiding me but I was making it easier. Kelly, though, she was trying really hard to talk to me and I was trying reallyhard not to talk to her.
So, I did what any other person would've done in my position. I hung around with my abuela.
Everywhere she went, I followed. This was my birthday party, I should be with the few of my friends that showed up and with my family but I knew that Kelly didn't always feel comfortable around my grandma, said something about the way my grandma was too direct that kind of scared her, so I knew Kelly wouldn't just come up to me when I was with her.
To be honest, my grandma wasn't a great company but it kept Kelly away so I was good with that. Problem was... Abuela was starting to get tired of me following her around.
"Tyler, go away," My grandma sighed as she turned to look at me again, I frowned.
"I'm your grandchild, the oldest, I should be your favourite but you're telling me to go away," I pretended to be shocked and hurt.
"What do you want? Dinero? I don't have money, your brother already—"
"Mum's not gonna like that," I cut her off shaking my head at her. Matias was the owner of my grandma's little dark heart. My mother's words, not mine.
"¿Y por qué no? He asked nicely."
"He knows why." I shrugged. Mum was pissed with Matias because he got his ear pierced and skipped school like three times thinking nobody would find out. He went and cheated on his girlfriend with her best friend and they posted pictures on Instagram of the love bites she was giving him. Mum was so disappointed she asked meto talk to him. I had something else in mind for later on.
"Why not?"
"Ask mum."
"You sound jealous," She replied quickly, I frowned. "It isn't good to be jealous of your brother."
"I'm not jealous."
"It's okay to be, he's the little man of the house," My grandma replied quickly, contradicting herself. I rolled my eyes at her words. "Anyway, don't change the subject, why are you following me como la peste. Don't you have friends to talk to?"
"I'm not following you around, I'm just spending time with you, you know? Before you leave and don't come back until like another birthday or Christmas holidays."
"How was your first year of university?" She changed the subject this time. My grandma wasn't very good at talking about issues like why she didn't like coming to see us as much as she used to when my granddad was alive.
"Uni was great," I shrugged.
"That's a lie," My mother said as she walked by us.
"Chismosa," I whispered to her, hearing her laugh as she poured wine in her glass
"What does that mean?"
"Noisy?" I frowned at my grandma.
"Not that, boba, why is it a lie?"
"I didn't do as good as I should have." I sighed. Truth is, I don't know why I didn't fail this year. Fuck knows where all the time went. I couldn't manage my time as well as I wished I had, so when assignments were given, I was a little behind and I had no idea what was going on. I gave in my assessments a little later than needed and because of that, I had 20% taken off from my final grade. I passed just not with the grades I would've liked. "But at least I did somewhat good, right?"
"You know what your problem is?" She asked me but even if I told her I didn't want to know, she would tell me anyways so... I just waited for her to tell me, anyway. "You like drama too much. Too much drama in your life and you don't focus on what's important."
Right then, Eleanor walked out of the house, towards the garden and walked by us like my mum had done, just then my grandma, with no importance, grabbed Eleanor by the forearm and dragged her to our conversation. If my grandma noticed how my whole body tensed right then, she didn't care for it.
"Eleanor, bonita," She said Eleanor's name too harshly. I hated that she was going to use Eleanor to make a point, she did this often but normally using Matias. "How was your first year of university?"
"Um, it was great, actually, I passed everything and I actually have an interview for an internship as an assistant for a really good architect," Eleanor smiled at my grandma, so nice and so beautiful. I almost didn't hear a word she said until she said internship... I should be doing those but I've been too busy and too— I don't know, to worry about internships.
"See, Tyler, she managed but you pay attention to all these other things going on around you, your mother told me you were back to that board thing. You're wasting time withtonterías, Tyler. Focus on what's important. Your future. You chose to create little cartoons on a computer then focus on that. No other things that will get you nowhere."
And that's one of the reasons why she barely came anymore. My mum blamed my grandma for a lot of things and she was very resentful towards my grandma. Their relationship wasn't the best because grandma always tried to tell my mother what to do and what not to do, how to live her life. When Abuelo died, my grandma and my mum sort of drifted away, mum just kinda lost contact with her, only spoke when birthdays came or family holidays type of shit. And Abuelita... well, she wasn't the nicest lady, so it wasn't hard.
I looked from my grandma to my glass, I was very uncomfortable and very awkward. She had no right to bring Eleanor into this. I didn't want to look at her but I could feel her eyes on me. I turned to look at my grandma and wished for Eleanor to leave before this conversation got even more awkward.
"No es así, abuelita."
"Yes, it is like that. I don't understand how Teresa does nothing about this board thing, I thought you had left that behind and here I see you with the same nonsense that you spoke of when you were a kid. I understood back then but now? Tyler you're 20 years old—"
"Mrs Villanueva, I'm sorry for getting involved because I know this is none of my business but I don't think the "board thing" is tonterías. Honestly, Mrs Villanueva, I think Tyler is really good when she gets on a board, she's great at it, actually, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. If what you're worried about is her academic career, she could do both things at the same time; many athletes have done their sports and had other careers on the side-lines. Tyler can do both perfectly fine, the only issue is that she's lazy and has the concentration of a 3-year-old kid but aside from that, she is capable of doing it.
"I think Tyler is very smart, all of her professors like her and I know so because we go to some of the same classes and I see the way she works when she wants to, she's really good at what she does, whether is behind a computer creating "little cartoon things" or on top of a board doing tonterías."
The way she said tonterías was the funniest thing I've ever heard.
If I didn't know Eleanor as well as I did then, I would have thought she was calmly giving her opinion, that she was just pointing out things to make her argument valid, calmly and respectfully. I wouldn't notice the way her eyes hardened when she spoke her words, I wouldn't notice the way her voice was forced to stay in balance or the way she was holding her glass so tight I was afraid she'd hurt herself, the way she was keeping her hands busy so she didn't wiggle her hands about like she did when she was arguing. I would have not noticed that Eleanor was angry if I didn't know her. She was angry and she was defending me. In a way, she was defending me against a woman that nobody in this room, not even my mother, dared to raise her voice to.
It took my mother 20 years to say enough to my grandma, but here was Eleanor, giving grandma a piece of her mind without even blinking an eye.
So, yes, my heart was doing jumping jacks.
My grandma looked at Eleanor with shock, Eleanor nodded a couple of times, probably trying to make this moment a little less awkward but completely failing. I don't know what took over me but I grabbed Eleanor by the hand and led her to the closest door to us, it was the downstairs bathroom, so small that we were touching each other, even without meaning to. I locked us in and as soon as our eyes met, I wrapped my arms around her.
I had missed this so much that the idea of having to let go, annoyed me. I didn't want to admit it, to anyone or even myself for that matter, but I had missed Eleanor. I missed the way her body felt against mine, the way my arms fit perfectly around her waist or how we were the perfect height for each other, how I can perfectly place my head between her neck and her shoulder like the space was specially made for me. How she smelled like expensive perfume and at the same time like something that reminded me of her home.
Eleanor took a minute but she hugged me back. I felt her hands going up and down my back, brushing my hair as she placed her head in the crook of my neck, her breathing tickling me and sending shivers down my spine.
Oh, how did I miss her.
"I'm still pretty pissed off at you," She whispered, her hot breath hitting my skin. "Your grandma made me angry but it doesn't mean I'm just going to forget what I saw."
"But you didn't let me explain, Eleanor..." I stood back, I was still holding her but I had pushed away enough to look at her in the eyes. "Okay, yes, I fucked up when I didn't deny what she had said, but I don't know, I decided to answer the main issue instead. I never used you to get back at Kelly. Not the first time, not the second and definitely not ever. I'm not like that, Eleanor."
She stayed in silence for a while before sighing and looking down at the floor. She bit her lip and looked up at me again. "I mean, you are a little too lazy to put up all this just to get back at someone. You aren't that petty."
"Is that a good thing?" I frowned a little confused.
"Have I ever told you that when you do that face you look exactly like your dad?"
"Is that a bad thing?" I asked again with a deeper frown, Eleanor stared at me for a second before chuckling.
"You're an idiot, Kohen, that's what you are."
I moved closer to her. She looked serious for a second, she looked into my eyes and I thought for a minute she was going to pull away and leave. So, I was surprised when she leaned in and kissed me slowly.
"Don't lie to me, Kohen." She whispered against my lips. "I don't care what happens, I don't care how you think it might make me feel. Don't ever lie to me again. That's the one thing I can't deal with. No lies, Tyler."
"No lies," I whispered before kissing her again.
No lies.
⚤ Eleanor ⚤
I once told Tyler Kohen that I hated her. Two seconds later, I kissed her. Up to this day, I still don't know what the hell took over me when that happened. I never liked Tyler. I never wanted this with Tyler. I envied her, yes, I wanted to be her friend, I wanted her to see me but I didn't want things to become this, whatever this is...
I still don't understand how all of this even started to happen but when I came to realise, Tyler Kohen was pretty much all I could think about and I hate it.
I hate that I like her smile. I hate that I notice things she does or what she doesn't do. I hate that I have to pretend to be annoyed at her so she doesn't realise the truth.
I hate that can't be mad at her.
I hate the way she looks whenever someone is mad at her. The way her eyebrows curve, the way she pouts... fuck.
I hate that she looks like she's suffering when she knows someone is mad at her.
I hate that I can't stand it when she looks at me like that.
I hate the way her eyes look when she's sad.
I hate the way I feel like I'm gonna drown in her honey eyes, like I might get lost and I hate the fact that I have no problem with it.
I hate the fact that she's so beautiful, my knees might give out whenever she walks into a room.
But most of all, I hate, and I hate it with passion, when someone tries to mess with her.
I hate when I hear someone say a bad thing about Tyler Kohen, I hate when I hear someone being rude to her, I hate the way she looks so defenceless when people give her shit. I hate that she's so good and so kind and so tontathat she can't say shit to people who treat her badly.
I hate that she believes she really can't do whatever she puts her mind into. I hate that she thinks she isn't smart enough or good enough or that she can't do things...
I hate— I hate with all my heart that she thinks so little of herself.
But, most of all? I hate, I hate, hate the fact that I don't want to be mad at her because whether I like it or not, I have been and I still am in love with Tyler Kohen.
Ever since she wiped my tears from my cheeks and just to make me laugh when we were 12. When she had ran into me with her stupid bicycle. I loved Tyler then and I love Tyler now. I think I always have. And maybe because I finally have her, because I can finally kiss her and hold her...
I don't know how to be mad at her.
Because perhaps I care a little too much and I don't want to waste time being mad at her.
Maybe I'm scared that she'll realise she loves Kelly instead and she'll go back to her.
Maybe I'm just trying to enjoy whatever time I get with her.
Maybe I just want to hold her and not let go.
Or maybe I'm just simply too stupid.