I was being held like I had never been held before. Last night, Niona and I stayed up in our pajamas after a delicious meal that Jives and I cooked together. Niona and I had milkshakes, took them into my room and talked about Brant.
It hasn't taken me long at all to really start regretting on yelling at Brant, he didn't deserve it. I couldn't completely blame him from wanting some time away from me, I could be a handful sometimes, now it was worse with the whole liking him thing. My life was spiraling downward once again, it just wasn't fair.
But back to this morning. I couldn't understand why he felt so near, why I felt like he was holding me tight like he normally does. I figured that it was all in my head because I missed him being next to me, only it seemed like reality the more I lied there in bed with my eyes closed. The heaviness of his muscular arm felt like it was weighing down my side. I could practically feel his legs, that normally are intertwined with mine, in their rightful place. His deep inhales and exhales as he peacefully slept were recorded in my mind. It all seemed real.
Then, what seemed like a fantasy became a reality when his voice groaned in my ear, his arm pulled me closer, and his legs tightened around my own. Startled, my eyes flew open to see his brows furrowed and a look of distress on his handsome face. "Brant," I whispered, shaking him awake.
He grimaced at the movement, but thankfully it woke him up. "Char," he sleepily mumbled. "That hurts." His eyes slowly opened, revealing that blue color that I absolutely adored. He suddenly grinned at me, pressing his forehead against mine while breathing out a, "Surprise," across my lips. It definitely was a surprise.
"What are you doing here?!" I loudly asked. "When did you get here?!"
He shushed me, only to kiss my forehead in reward when I calmed down for him to explain. "Relax, Char, I came by around midnight because I couldn't sleep without you. I tried sleeping next to Avery, I even tried cuddling up to a shirt of yours, it just wasn't you. Your dad let me stay over and Niona crashed on the couch, she said that we needed time alone, that you needed to apologize for flipping out on me yesterday."
Leave it to Niona not to be subtle about anything. He brushed back some hair in my eyes, lightly guiding his fingertips past my cheek, down my neck, carefully to my collar bone where my camisole strap rested. "Well..." he murmured, mindlessly drawing on my shoulder. "I'm waiting."
I refused to do it. My heart said that I needed to beg him for forgiveness, but my pride said no. I hated pride sometimes, then there were the times it gave me a boost of confidence that gave me the ability to do things I've never done before.
Instead of asking for his forgiveness, I playfully straddled his waist and seduced my way out of having apologize. His hands naturally went to my hips to hold me into place, but the rest of his actions were a side of Brant Young I've never seen before.
"I was so mad at you," I whispered in his ear. I let my hands rub his chest, hoping that he liked it. When I rested my forehead against his, I was satisfied when I saw him biting his lower lip in interest. "It was like you weren't even going to miss me, right after you told me in so many words that you didn't want to give me up...."
"I didn't want to," he admitted. "I thought you might wanted to spend some time with Niona. You two haven't seen each other in months." With care, he brushed my bangs out of my eyes, that action alone making my cheeks profusely heat to a blush.
Without even considering how it may seem, he played with the hem of my night gown when we resorted to having conversations with our eyes. He was sorry that I had been upset, and I was sorry that I got upset. With everything hitting me full force at once, I just took most of my frustration out in him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Brant." I sat up and lowered my eyes to his stomach, not because I was admiring his shirtless torso, but in shame for letting those feelings overrule my reality.
"Don't do this to me, Charlotte," he heaved, covering his face with his hands. "I'm suppose to be able to bask in the fact that for once I'm not the one who lashed out, not feel my heart drop when you pull on that ashamed angel look."
It wasn't a look, I really was ashamed of myself. I told myself that I was going to let him go, nevertheless I'm still hanging tightly onto his arm as if he were mine to keep. "Char," he sighed. He painfully sat up just to cup my face in his strong hands and kiss my forehead in comfort. "It's alright, you didn't rob a bank."
"This is worse than robbing a bank," I softly murmured in guilt when I made myself look into his dark blue eyes. He showed not an ounce of blame toward me, it was like I really was innocence in his eyes. "I'm sorry."
I didn't fairly enjoy getting angry. My pride gets in the way at times, other times my heart is able to override that don't care attitude. There was no doubt that my heart was going to win over pride every time when it came to Brant Young. He was a big part of me, a part that will always make up me.
"Okay, Charlotte," he softly laughed. "I know you're sorry, you don't have to repeat it until you start crying. Let's go make some breakfast, that will take your mind off of things, plus I need to take my meds."
I didn't care what we did, just as long as he was there with me. He forced me out of bed by pulling me over his shoulder. Despite his bruised ribs, the boy did everything possible to make me happy again. I tried repeatedly to talk him into putting me down, he refused time and time again on the way down the hall.
"But, Brant, I'm catching a draft," was one of my excuses. It wasn't a lie, my night gown was shorter than I remembered. There was no doubt that my panties were on full display for anyone who passes in front of Brant.
"Brant Alex Young, cover my little girl's goods!" I heard my father's voice boom right when Brant turned into the kitchen.
"Sorry, Philip," Brant laughed. He tugged the back of my night gown down, hiding my underwear from anyone who dared to cast a glance. "Good morning, everyone. Say good morning, Charlotte."
Brant turned so I could face the audience sitting at my small dining room table. I gave a sheepish smile to my father, Jives, Niona, and Austin, who hadn't really noticed anyone but Niona. "Good morning," I quietly told everyone. Austin never bat an eye, he was too enticed with my best friend to even notice that Brant and I were here.
Niona was so lucky! There was no doubt that Austin was in a hot pursuit after her. He had the dreamy eyes, was smiling, and cut off from the world. I saw Niona stealing a couple peeks his way as well. Austin was a charming, single, gorgeous guy. Niona was single, beautiful, and definitely on his mind. I'm glad someone can have who they want, they were perfect for one another.
Suddenly, I was flipped back to a standing position and facing the guy I loved so dearly. It hurt every time he smiled at me, or even when he held me, but it was the sweetest pain I have ever experienced. It was like I had a cavity and Brant was my favorite candy. I indulge in the sweetness of us being together, but I have that one nagging sharp pain that shoots through me while I enjoy what I love. It was agitating, yet it was all I had to remind myself that he wasn't mine.
"I hope you know that I'm going to have to punish you for your wrong doings," he stated while turning me around to the stove where breakfast was prepared. "Make my breakfast, woman, then meet me out back." I rolled my eyes at how he phrased his demands, but I knew I would fulfill them regardless to how he asked them. "Don't forget my medication."
A kiss to my shoulder blade was all it took to persuade ever more to fulfill his wishes. I prepared a plate for the both of us while his presence slipped away from me. He didn't go outside straight away, but when he was finally out the house, Jives came over and kissed my cheek in greeting. "So my little Charlotte is in love," he whispered. "Whatever happened to marrying me?"
He was talking about when I was little and use to tell him that I would marry him one day because he was the only guy outside of my father and Brant who showed compassion on me. Jives loved me as his own, especially when my father was gone all the time, that's why I felt that way all those years ago.
"I don't think I'll ever get married, Jives," was my hushed reply. "Brant doesn't love me romantically, I don't want anyone else, I just rather be alone than not with him."
Jives rested his chin on top of my head, massaging my shoulders so I could relax. "You need to tell him, that way he'll take your feelings in consideration for the future."
Niona had said the same thing to me. I knew they were right, Jives always is anyway. I just don't have a clue as to how I'm going to tell my best friend that I like him, and I most definitely didn't want to hear his rejection. "We won't be the same afterwards. We'll still be us, just a less closer us. I rather die in pain later than now."
I stepped away from Jives and grabbed two miniature bottles of Sunny D from the fridge on my way out the back door with the food and Brant's medication. Jives could be like an irritating itch sometimes. Always there as a constant reminder that something needs to be done.
I stepped out onto the back lawn, shaking my head when I saw Brant stretched across a picnic blanket that I remembered being in the hall closet. He was laid across of it, but rolled up like a burrito in a throw blanket to knock off the morning chill nipping at his shirtless chest. "Hello, gorgeous," he greeted with a playful smile.
"You're talking to the food, aren't you?" I giggled. He gave a side to side nod, saying that half of it was towards the food, the other half toward me. I took a seat next to him, handing over his sacred breakfast foods and medication.
"What the heck is this?" Brant asked while inspecting the various items on the paper plate.
"Naturally, it's ham and egg breakfast cups, hash browns, ham and cheese quiche, and sausage, egg, and cheese muffins," I explained while pointing to each item.
"Naturally," he scoffed, rolling his eyes afterwards. "I'm sorry, I had a brain fart. How could I possibly forget what these miniature little breakfast pies are called." He picked up a quiche, waving it at me in a taunting way.
"Don't get smart with me, you jerk," I pushed him over. "I didn't cook them, Jives did. Stop being so... so..."
He pulled me down to him, every inch of me stiffening when our lips almost touched. "Shut up, New York," he softly laughed. "You know I love you."
I'll never completely understand this boy. I know everything, yet nothing about him all at once. He knew how to keep things private, when to shut off his easy to read eyes so I couldn't see what he was hiding. I didn't understand how he could intimately brush strands of my blonde hair back and place such a tender kiss on my forehead with it only being meant as a friendly gesture. I've tried doing it, look where it's gotten me.
I care for him like no other. If he's hurt, I'm there hurting beside him. He can't see it, but I would give everything up if he would just love me the way I love him. I would kill for a chance just to kiss him one last time, even if it was without his knowledge like the night before. He would never understand how I felt. The only person who would possibly know what I was feeling was Clay.
Clay.
It was a name I haven't thought of in a while. I now knew how both boys felt in different situations. I faced first hand the back stabbing ways of Clay Holt, now I was seeing how it felt to love someone and not have them love you back. It royally sucked!
"What's with that look?" he quietly asked.
I shook my head and grabbed a quiche from the plate. So he wouldn't question, I forced it into his mouth and sat up to eat a little bit myself. "Hmm.." he hummed. "It's not bad," Brant mumbled.
"Take your medicine," I ordered, handing the pill bottle over. He did as instructed, then decided to cuddle up in my side and make me feed him. Although he wouldn't admit it, he was astonished by the top notch breakfast cuisine Jives had prepared.
"How did he get that egg inside of the ham like that, and how did he get the ham to take form of a miniature bowl? This is just weird."
He poked and prodded the food in amazement. The answer to his question was simple. All Jives done was stick pieces of ham into a muffin pan, poured in a little cheese, and added a raw egg that would cook in the middle. I didn't dare say a word, I left him to be bemused about it.
He liked everything he tasted, even if it was a little more fancy than what he was use to. I'm sure if he just went to visit for one day, he too would like New York. It was noisy, colorful, a little crazy, but still a beautiful place in it's own way. He wouldn't like to stay more than a day or so, but he would still enjoy it.
"Hey, Char?" I looked to him while indulging in another breakfast quiche. "Did you notice Austin and Niona too?"
I giggled at the thought. "Boy did I ever!" He smiled at the thought, probably wondering the same thing I was. How long would it take for those two to get together?
"We should talk to them," he went on. I smiled when he leaned over and stole a bite of my quiche. "I think I wanna double." He wanted to go on a double date with me? My eyes widened in utter disbeilef. "I've been thinking, and I think I should start dating again. It would be less weird for me if I go with Austin around the first time."
It was a nightmare. This time had come too soon, way too soon! Now what was I suppose to do? Why the heck does Jives have to be right?!? I hate that smart, know it all butler of mine. If he's this good, he should've became a freaking shrink!
"Oh," I found myself saying. "I..I guess you're right."
I had to be strong, no matter how much heart wrenching pain I was in. Stupidly, I have chosen this path, now I have to deal with it. "I don't have to, Charlotte, I'll miss sleeping next to you..."
"You should do it," I interrupted with an encouraging smile. "We'll eventually get over it, Brant. We went eleven years without sleeping next to one another, it shouldn't be too hard to convert back."
Who was I to ruin his happiness? I'm sure I could've told him it was a terrible idea and we wouldn't have heard of it for a while. Then again, this might be what I need to give him up. If he was dating, it would be excruciating, but easier if he was happy. I could deal with it as long as he wanted it.
"Are you sure? I'm going to need your help if I do this." He wrapped his arms around me, sneaking in a cheek kiss while I leaned closer to him. "I'm a little rusty on dating."
I stuffed one of each food item on our plate into my mouth to help with the pain that was surely to come. "Whatever you need, I'll help you no matter what," I told him through my full mouth. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that said I should've just done what Jives and Niona said. Unfortunately, I'm a hard headed baboon like my father.
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One hour, that's all it took for Brant to get a date. Fifty-five minutes to search through his old little black book of hotties, and five minutes work up the nerve to call one. Guess who was there, helping him relax and get into the dating zone.
This, stupid, unlucky girl.
I listened with a broken heart to him smooth talking a girl from high school named Kori Sanders. "She has flowing brown hair, an amazing body, way hotter than Caroline could ever think to be," is how he explained Kori to me. If she looked better than Caroline, all hope was gone for me.
I sat on the kitchen counter, listening in while he asked if she was free tonight. He went on to explain, more like lie, that Austin was nervous about taking a girl out and it would be a double date. Apparently, she didn't care. When he got off the phone, he shook be by the shoulders in pure elation. "She said yes, Char!"
I plastered on a smile and stroked his cheek while he widely grinned at the fact that he had a date. The look on his face, the look in his eyes, I wouldn't have traded it for anything. He really was happy. Caroline was tying him down no more. It was like watching a stallion, who had been confined to a barn most of his life, being released back into the wild with the other free horses. That's what he was, he was free.
He nuzzled his face in my hand, even giving my palm a kiss. "Thank you, Charlotte." His dark blue eyes seem to have lightened when they settled on me, like he thought that without me this wouldn't have been possible. He had no clue as to what I was giving up for his happiness, but that was my fault, not his.
"Are you really okay with us not staying together tonight? You aren't going to yell at me, are you?" he asked when he helped me down from the counter top. He grunted in pain when I accidentally hit his side.
"I'm not going to yell at you. The whole sleeping next one another needed to stop anyhow. We're not six anymore and I'm sure my dad is going to make start taking daily pregnancy tests if it keeps going."
Brant barked out a laugh, mostly because he knew that's something my father would do. I genuinely smiled on my way to the fridge to get him an ice pack. If he was gonna go out tonight, he needed to be in top notch condition. "A pregnant Charlotte..." Brant said in a tone full of wonder. He pulled me back into his chest, swaying us back and forth as if we were dancing. His hand rested on my stomach, gently rubbing my tummy in a circular motion. "You would look beautiful pregnant."
I highly doubted that one. "If I ever get pregnant..." I began.
"Which you will," he murmured against my ear.
I rolled my eyes at him when I looked over my shoulder to see his big goofy smile. "I doubt I'm going to look like those pregnant women modeling for maternity clothes. I'll be lounging around in my sweat pants, hair up in a messy bun, and stretching my man's t-shirt with my enormous belly. Yeah, it's not going to be the prettiest of sights."
He softly chuckled, turning me around to face him. "Like I said, you'll look beautiful." His pain meds must be kicking in, he clearly has gone delusional.
"Whatever," I snorted. "You go ice your side and I'll go find you something to wear tonight."
He took the ice pack from me, kissing my cheek in gratitude on the way out. No matter how terrible I wanted him to look tonight so this girl wouldn't dare go on another date with him, I already had my mind set on the opposite. On my way upstairs, I naturally passed Avery's room since it was on the way to Brant's. Inside was a weeping fourteen year old that I quickly went to console.
Avery was clutching a stuff animal to her chest, uncontrollably sobbing into the fur of the plushie toy. The happy, carefree girl I knew now looked like her world had come crashing down. I took a seat next to her and hug her to me. My shoulder became her crying place. I stroked her hair, murmuring comforting things even though I had no clue as to what was going on.
She cried and cried, unable to stop even for a moment to choke out a word. "What's wrong, Ave?" Asking her didn't help, she sobbed even more. "Should I call Jax?"
She literally screamed in agony while falling over onto the mattress and curling up in a ball. Jax definitely had something to do with this. I wiped her damp cheeks dripping with tears, hoping that she would soon tell me what was wrong so I could help.
"Whatever it is, it can't be nearly as bad as what I'm going through."
She was suddenly able to stop. "W-What's going on w-with you?" she stuttered out in reply.
I situated myself on the bed so I could lay on my side and stroke her hair in comfort. If there was anyone I could trust with this secret, it was definitely Avery. "Well, your brother is going on a date," I sighed. "I'm helping him prepare for it, I'm even about to go pick out his stupid clothes so he can go..." I let my head fall against her shoulder. "It wouldn't have been a bad thing if I wasn't in love with him."
She made me look at her, both of our eyes welling up in tears. Like most of everyone around us, she knew how Brant saw me, how this date he was going on was going to crush me. "You were right," she choked out. "Jax and I having a fight is nothing in comparison to this."
Somehow the roles switched. I became the one who cried and her the one who stroked my hair in comfort. I was so lost on what to do, I wanted my mom even more to help guide me in the right way, but I couldn't have her back neither could I even begin to think straight in order to do this on my own. My brain was hurting, my heart was hurting. Why was my life so difficult?
"I can't even begin to imagine how you feel, Charlotte," she murmured when we hugged one another. It was like a light had flipped on in my head. Her words gave me an idea of who could help me in this worse possible scenario. It was a risky move, not to mention I needed to sneak out of the house somehow without Brant knowing where I was headed. This was a bad idea that I needed to go through with.
----------------------
I walked down the driveway alone, taking my sweet time to pull together my thoughts and words. Never did I think that I would be here, gripping onto the small jar of strawberry jam I had brought along as a peace offering, and heading towards the Holt's residence to see Clay.
After shattering what trust we had when I caught him kissing Caroline, I pretty much vowed never to step on their soil again. Now look at me, halfway down the driveway on this beautiful afternoon instead of helping Brant dress for his date tonight.
By the time the sun started going down, Brant had practice everything with me besides kissing. We went over table manners, how he should pull her chair out like a gentlemen when they went to eat at Peggy Ann's. I taught him to do everything I would have loved for him to do to me. "When you push her chair in, that's the perfect time to whisper how pretty she looks in her ear," is what I had told him.
They were going to catch a movie afterwards. Apparently they have a small movie theater here that plays classic western movies all the time. I reminded him to share his popcorn, to hold her hand instead of doing the cheesy arm over the back of the chair move, and of course they couldn't sit in the back because it was just uncomfortable to girls knowing what normally happens back there.
Once we were done with the gentlemen rules, he was ready to go and I suddenly came down with a terrible stomach ache. He walked me home himself, even tucked me into bed when we got there. "Maybe I shouldn't go, you aren't feeling well and I wanna take care of you," he had said with worried eyes.
"You have to go," I told him. "She's waiting." Unlike her, I'll always be waiting. Trying to get him to leave was like attempting to pull a nail out of board with a pair of tweezers. He sat there for the longest time stroking my cheek and asking if I was sure I would be okay. Jives finally came in and told him that he would look after me. It gave Brant some relief, so he gave my forehead a kiss goodbye and forced himself to be on his way.
When Jives confirmed that he was long gone and had saw Brant drive up the dirt road in one of the trucks, I hopped out of bed and changed out of the pajamas I had put on for my act, and into some light blue jeans, a soft pink top, and a stylish pair of tan boots. I threw on an owl necklace for an accessory, ran to the kitchen to grab a jar of jam that I had made, and hustled over to the Holt's before I changed my mind.
Now I was only yards away from the house and I was starting to chicken out. I felt guilty for lying to Brant and was hoping he wouldn't get distracted on his date. Everything was officially a mess. How do I get myself into these kinds of situations? I turned around at the thought, deciding that it was best I go home now.
I got caught up in my mind that I didn't hear anyone running up to me, I didn't hear him calling for me to stop, to stay. He knocked the wind out of me when he collided into my back, but I laughed nonetheless when Jax gave me a bear hug. "I need to talk to you, how did you know?" was how he greeted me. I turned around and thumped him in the forehead. "Ow!" he pouted. He saw my disapproving look that made him sheepishly smile. "She told you?"
"All I know is that you two had a fight. What did you do?" I accused.
He rubbed the back of his neck, knowing that I was about to strangle him if this fight was over something stupid. "My grandpa is sick and I'm suppose to go down with my dad this weekend and see him, but mine and Avery's anniversary is Saturday. We've been fighting over what to do. I want to spend time with her on our special day and everything, but my grandpa doesn't have anyone, he's cooped up in a retirement home sick right now. He's really old, Charlotte, possibly on his death bed right now if this is serious. I don't know what to do."
It was pretty bad, I spared him the strangulation. I needed to talk to Avery some more about this matter, I don't think she understands how serious this was. "I'll talk to her, Jax, we'll straighten this out."
He smiled, tossing his arm over my shoulder and forcing me toward the house. "Did you come by to kiss and make up with my brother?" he asked.
I snorted in response, even if it was almost true. I wasn't here to get back together with Clay, just ask if we could be friends, if he would help me understand how I can get past this feeling of remorse I had for letting Brant go. How was Clay getting over me? That's what I exactly what I wanted to know.
"Sorry, Jax, but the Clay and Charlotte thing is over, you know that."
To me, Jax was my little brother, always will be. I've never had siblings, so I'm extremely close with Avery and Jax in that way. I love them both, that's why I wanted their relationship to work. The last thing I wanted was to see my two favorite people hurt by one another. "You will always be our Charlie," he said before pointing to the barn. "He's saddling up Bolt."
I thanked him with a cheek kiss and continued my journey by walking up the pathway to the barn. Without Jax by my side, I was extremely nervous about confronting his brother. Would he demand I leave? Our last encounter wasn't a very friendly one, I specifically remember being all in his face and yelling at him.
No matter how scared I was, I had to do it. It was bad enough that Brant had beef with Clay, I needed to end the rage in-between us before I turned into Brant. With a deep breath, I walked faster to the open doors of the barn, trying my best to prepare myself for this interaction.
Nothing could prepare me for the scene I saw.
If you've never watched a sweaty, shirtless, man guide his hands in pure concentration over a sleek black horse before, all of your fantasies are meaningless. Put that he was wearing a cowboy hat and some chaps onto the scene and I was sure some guy was going to walk in with a camera to capture this and post it on a sexy male calendar.
His eyes remained focused on the horses muscles and reflexes. I remained quiet by the entry way, watching him tenderly prepare the horse for a ride. It seemed that he was trying to calm Bolt down by showing him that he wasn't a threat. I'm sure he has ridden Bolt before, other wise he would be doing this in a corral and not the barn, so why did Bolt need calming if he has already been ridden before?
The way Clay looked at Bolt, you could tell that he cared for horses. His hands would go over the scars Bolt bore, and it was almost like Clay would wince as if he had been hit too. "You wanna go for a ride, buddy?" I heard I'm quietly ask the horse. Bolt let out a low grunting noise to let Clay know that he heard him, that if he could talk he would tell him exactly what he felt.
I don't think Clay is going to be able to let him go.
Bolt suddenly started prancing in place, slinging his head playfully. "Does that mean yes?" Clay chuckled. I thought that's what he was trying to say too, that was until I noticed that he had seen me. It was almost like he was nodding in greeting, grunting hellos now that he noticed I had arrived. I've missed this horse without even realizing it.
Somehow he eagerly tugged the lead rope on his halter loose, freeing him to trot up to me and nudge his nose against my cheek. "It's good to see you too, Bolt," I giggled. He let me hug his muscular neck, I even kissed his nose to show that I still loved him.
"Charlie? What are you doing here?" Thankfully, Clay wasn't hostile towards me at all. He came over with a big smile, his arms stretched wide enough to wrap me up in a bear hug.
"I came to give you jam and to ask if we can be friends." I hugged him back just as tight as he was hugging me. "I'm sorry about everything."
He slowly pulled out of the hug, nodding in agreement. "I'm sorry too, Charlie. I got so caught up in trying to get you back that I never even considered how hurt you really were. I understand now." He sighed, bringing his hands up to cup my face. "You have no clue what it feels like to be me...."
"I'm in love with Brant," I blurted. I looked down at my boots when the sharp pain started in my chest. "He doesn't know, he doesn't love me, and now he's off on a date with some girl named Kori Sanders."
I heard Clay mutter that she was hot under his breath and I let out a groan of deep sorrow. All I wanted to do was bang my head against the barn until I eventually died from blunt force trauma. "I'm sorry," he sheepishly smiled. He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head. "I guess you do know how I feel." I nodded against his pec, almost wishing that I loved him instead. I would never give Brant up, not even for a million dollars, but he was really tearing me apart right now.
"I should've told him..."
"Yep," Clay immediately agreed.
"I thought I could handle it. He doesn't love me, why isn't it easier than this?"
Clay snickered, shaking his head at how clueless I was acting. "It's not easier because you love him, it's that simple, Charlie. Him not loving you back just makes the pain amplify, it doesn't weaken it."
I knew coming to Clay for help was a good idea. He's been going through this a heck of a lot longer than I have been. My wound was still fresh, his was trying its best to heal already. "Once you get everything off of your chest, you'll realize that there's nothing else you can do. He'll either accept it or break your heart. You've gotta be ready for both."
I wasn't ready for the heart break, it's what I knew was going to happen if I told Brant. This was going to take longer than a day to get in my system. I needed to be determined to tell him. I'll work myself up to that point like boxer prepares for a fight. All I need to do is practice my lines, prepare my heart, and buy a heck of a lot junk food and boxes of tissues. I needed to let him know, I couldn't hold it in.
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AN:)
Random winner of the trivia question is: @bbydoll!! Thanks so much for playing along!
Picture on the side is of Charlotte's outfit she wore to Clay's. It's so simple that it's cute.
Next Trivia Question: What kind of Jam did Charlotte give Clay as a peace offering?
A. Blackberry
B. Peach
C. Strawberry