Brutally Honest Reviews™

By calmingfire

47.7K 1.7K 3K

DISCLAIMER: These review/critique things are based on first impressions. I will NOT be reading the entirety o... More

The Specials Schedule
*UPDATE* Payment
IMPORTANT Guidelines and Whatnot
The Point System
How The Review Will Look
•FAQ•
*CODE RED* for "The Stars of BHR" PRL
Summer Special Form [CLOSED]
Sweaty Flaps and Creases Shack: Queue #6 [IN PROGRESS]
*REMINDER*
The Snowpiercer Clique: Queue #5 [COMPLETED]
Records of Mercy (N)
Leaving The FOREVER (N)
🌟Only Ash (N)
Mine (N)
Forests's Fate (N)
The Detective Series: Give Up the Ghost (N)
His Scarred Beauty (N)
A Twisted Christmas (OT)
Soul Remains (N)
Overdue Rant That Has Been Bubbling in My Anus for Three Months Now
Hot and Rainy Crew: Queue #4 [COMPLETED]
Of Shadows (N)
Onyx City Gods (OT/RR)
Shadow of the Past: A Trilogy (N)
Rum Cider (N)
Faeriedon (N)
The Outbacker Enigma (N)
His Demons (N)
Rising (N)
Charred Bones (N)
Candy Pop Corpse (OT)
I Have Been Tagged By One of Those Tagged Things, So Here I Am Doing "The Thing"
The Icy Chamber Inhabitants: Queue #3 [COMPLETED]
Death Bound (C)
Onyx City Gods
Black Ink
THE AFTERMATH
Beyond Myth
The Gifted
Perfect Mistakes
The Single Bxxch Club
🌟Tapir
The Gallows' Victims: Queue #2 [COMPLETED]
The Golden Girl :- With The Not So Golden Past
Expectations
Crossfire
Obscured Divination: The Initial Silhouette
Darkness is Rising
The Falling (*Summary Help!*)
The Originals: Queue #1 [COMPLETED]
💩 Survival of the Youngest
💩Magick: League of Magicians
The Last Philosopher
Six Feet Under
The Faerie Pact
A Witch's Way
Dead End
Born to Die
Hayden
Shapeshifters: The Corpse of Guilt
Memory of Lips
Flare
Of Fire and Blood
🌟Force Field
The Godlings: Sol
The Right Choice
🌟Wildlings
Where The Heaven Are We
Caught Up
Onyx and Gold
Walking Disasters
Like Hurricanes
Gravity
🌟In Pain and Blood
The Beginning of a New Life
🌟Death Bound
Broken Glass

Terms and Symbols You Need to Know

970 29 4
By calmingfire

Ello, guys! I need to make this clear for you all, so here it goes.


*P E N A L T I ES ~ are what you receive if you do not follow the rules that deal with the forms.

Three strikes and you're out!

-This is a whole elaborate system that actually has nothing to do with the reviews themselves. It determines your chances at getting a review. I'd advise on not getting them. I imagine they're nuisances and make the applying process the worse.--Which makes them entertaining for me!

Here are the level of penalties you can get:

1) The smallest offense~ Minor Penalty: this here can last to ten minutes. You can get this puppy if you have any spelling/grammatical errors within your password or contract. You can also receive this Penalty for failing to write everything on the form exactly how it is seen. ALSO, for not including "OT", "RR", "C", or "N" at the top of your form.

2) Grey Penalty: Inserting the wrong password or asking me what the password is. This one lasts twenty minutes! Remember: you only get three attempts, and the time will add up.

3) Steel Penalty: (NOTE: This is only relevant if there is a payment!) You get this for completing the payment before I give you the eye of approval. If you're a newbie and fail to write out the contract you will receive his bad boy. This will cause you to not be able to request for thirty minutes! READ. THE. RULES.

4) Gold Penalty: Earned by not answering the BHR-related question correctly, or not answering it at all. Results in forty minutes of no requesting! This penalty can only be received by Old-Timers (RR's).

5) Black Penalty: Complaining if you are suppose to write all of the contract (or failing to do so as an OT), or using anything that isn't my form. This will cause you to be disqualified from the current special, and having to wait for the next special to come.


*Warning* Again, if you receive three penalties because of any of the reasons stated above, you will be ultimately disqualified for not following the rules after numerous tries. Sorry!


Other Terms:


*E Y E O F A P P R O V A L~ The okay to go ahead and complete the payment. You get this after everything on your form is correct to a "T".


*N E W B I E S (N) the freshman of the requestees! These guys are new to the book or have never received a review from me before. I'm also a lot more lenient to these guys! You're welcome!


*O L D - T I M E R S (OT) The cool bunch who has received my services before and want another go at (possibly) getting dragged!


*R E - R E V I E W S (RR) Only eligible for OT's. These guys get to request up to two times for one book (one at a time). Your chances re-new for each book you apply with, of course.


*C O N T I N U A T I O N S (C) Only eligible for BHR's Stars PRL. These elite few can request a full book review only ONCE for the book that was admitted into the PRL.


*N U L L When a book is still in the queue, but has been deleted/unpublished by the author OR belongs to an inactive author. A PM is sent to the author giving them options about what they want to do (replace said book with another, or pull out from the queue altogether), thus the review is put on hold for 24 hours until further notice. If the PM isn't answered within the time frame (depends on if they're active), the author is disqualified from the special. Nulled books are usually skipped for the next-in-line.

*B L A C K L I S T E D The untrustworthy people that double-crossed me and took back their payments. They are foul. Blegh.

*U G L I E S Y'all crusty friends that try to come for me in MY comment section. These uglies can run rampant anywhere else besides my wall, my book(s), or BHR. Take them somewhere else. (This was more of a problem last year, 2016, than anything. It's super chill now ha.)

                  (a) R O A C H E S Another type of ugly that tries to bully the writers in the comments as if that's cute, or that is the point of the book. These roaches earn blocks if I feel that they've crossed a line.



SYMBOLS:

🌟= "BHR's Stars" public reading list inductees

💩= Blacklisted/Banned


I think that's it (for now)? Check back for future reference and updates.






Proceed to "Point System">>>>>

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