Chapter Nine - Apologies
Harry's P.O.V.
Diana holds her arm, brows furrowed in hurt. "Just go home, Harry..." She whispers. I pause, watching her as she holds her arm tenderly. Did I hurt her that badly? Badly enough that she looks like she's going to cry?
So I nod a little and slowly turn around, hands shaking. I slip them into my pockets to stop the trembling, walking away from her.
I continue to shuffle my feet numbly along the sidewalk. Hesitantly, I look over my shoulder to see I'm alone again.
My shoulders slump dejectedly and I begin the long walk back home. I didn't mean to hurt her.. I just didn't want her to get my dad in trouble. The only thing I could think of even now was the look on her face.
Brows furrowed, her mouth open in a shocked o, her tiny childish hands trembling, and the worst part was her eyes. Her deep brown doe eyes were wide in shock, hurt lurking towards the back. The cheerful twinkle was gone, replaced by a sadness. Those eyes could make you feel guilty enough to jump off a cliff. Those eyes could make you do anything.
She could make me do anything.
I couldn't help but be fascinated by the little things she did. When she got excited, her hands would flutter about for emphasis, or when she couldn't find the appropriate action, they'd just tremble violently. Her eyes sparkled and a slight dimple appeared in her left cheek as she beamed. A tiny dimple appeared above her right eyebrow when she raised it. As she spoke, her lips would at time form into a V shape. Or as i spoke, her eyes would follow mine, appearing completely and totally enraptured by what i said. The one thing that sparked the most interest, that I couldn't explain why I enjoyed so much, was her nose.
It crinkled up like a bunny rabbit's. And for some reason it was adorable. It crinkled up when she was surprised, when she was frustrated, when she was confused, or when she was disagreeing with me. That was always the most amusing. Her nose would crinkle, her lips would press into a thin line, and she squinted. I don't know why I found it funny. I just did.
Too soon, Im pulled from my analysis when I reach my house. Unwillingly, my brown, worn boots shuffle their way up the driveway, then up to the porch.
I paus for a moment there, eyes focusing on the stain glass window on the door. All I had to do, was run straight up the stairs. No distractions. No waiting. So that was it.
I just rip open the door, kicking off my boots mid stride as I sprinted to my room. I lock the door behind me, collapsing onto the bed. The mattress groans its protest, creaking under my weight. Slowly, my eyes wander to my hands.
The same hands that only minutes ago had hurt Diana. How could I have done that? How could I have hurt her? I didn't mean to. And now that I thought about it, she had done nothing to deserve it. She really was trying to help.
I had to apologize.
But she would never trust me now! I hurt her! She tried to help me and I pushed her away! I injured her! I scared her.
That's what was stuck in my mind now. Fear. She was scared of me. Her voice kept replaying in my head.
Harry, let go! You're hurting me!
You're hurting me. I hurt her.
I feel my hands begin to tremble, chest heaving with angry huffs. Crimson pulses through my vision and my head throbs.
Immediately I launch to my feet, spinning and picking up the nearest object I could find and chucking it at the nearest wall. Glass shatters against the wall, and with every shard that falls to the floor, a small bit of my anger falls with it.
The red slowly bleeds away from my eyes and I shuffle over numbly, finding myself on my knees next to the broken glass. It crunches lightly under my jeans when I realize the broken object in front of me.
It's a picture of my mum. I've just broken a picture of my mum. My shaking hands pick up the remains, brushing aside the broken glass. I ignore the faint stinging, lightly running my finger over her gentle face in shock. I feel my eyes widening and they focus on the scarlet streak left across my mothers face.
What is wrong with me..
Julia's P.O.V.
Laura excuses herself, leaving me to my thoughts. She disappears back around the corner into the dining room, and I immediately crawl to my feet, rushing up the stairs. My shaking hands push open the door and I stumble in, collapsing onto the bed.
I can't do this! I'd just started on the tip of the iceberg and he practically breaks my arm. How am I supposed to find out the rest and help him if he's so defensive he'll hurt me to keep his secrets in the dark? I can't go near him. I can't risk that.
For all I know he could kill me. But then again, I'm only here in the first place because of him. What happened to the me that would've taken on an army for him earlier? I'm sure that eventually I will get that me back. It'll just take some time..
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I roll out of bed the following Monday morning. My arm aches deeply to the bone even though it had been 3 days. Too groggy to try and find a bold outfit, I end up leaving for school with an apple in my mouth, a tank top, and sweats.
I struggle to pull my backpack over my shoulders, grunting around my apple as it swings off of my shoulder and dropping. I finally fight the heavy bag onto my back, starting the long walk to school.
I bite my apple absentmindedly in thought as I consider whether I should speed up in attempt to get ahead of Harry, or slow down to fall behind him. So I choose to go faster, my feet aching as the flat bottom of my toms slapped the sidewalk.
The fall air encircles me with a comforting familiarity. Slightly humid air, with a chilly edge to it. I watch as the brightly colored leaves swirl around me, then drift to the ground. It brings back a few short memories of my first life.
Playing in the leaves with my friends. Picnics in the mountains with my family. My family. How are they doing, knowing I'm gone? Are they sad? Do they miss me? What did they-
"Diana!" I hear behind me.
I turn around and feel myself stiffen. Harry. He's wearing his usual black t-shirt and skinny jeans and something different. A concerned frown.
I quickly turn back on my heel and speed my pace. I must've slowed down when I was thinking.
"Hey, Diana! Wait up!" I hear him jogging up to me and I look down. I think back to Friday, and of Harry's deep, booming voice when he'd found me in the hall with that boy. In my mind I dissect the tone, trying to mirror mine to it.
"Harry, leave me alone!" My voice had meant to come out brave and irritated. But instead it came out weak, shaky, and breathless.
I can see him standing at my side now as he walks with me. "Diana." He starts quietly. I flinch, scooting to the farthest edge of the sidewalk as I shuffle along. His voice is quieter now, sad "Diana..." I ignore him again and hear him speed his pace. Suddenly he's stepping right into my path, so I have no choice but to stop.
I fold my arms tightly across my chest, avoiding his eyes. He's barely mumbling to me, voice quiet and ashamed "Diana, I'm sorry..I didn't mean to hurt you, or scare you... I mean.. I mean I think I did but I wasn't planning on it, I mean-" He sighs and I look up at him. His head is hanging pitifully, eyes downcast. I swallow hard, whispering almost silently "Harry, I just need some time."
His green eyes flash up to meet mine pleadingly "But, Diana. You're my only friend..." He mumbles lamely. I sigh and shake my head. "Harry, I'm taking a while away until I can be sure you're not gonna hurt me again."
I slip around him, starting to walk away when I feel him grab my arm. I gasp sharply in pain and look back, seeing Harry immediately recoil, alarmed by my outburst.
I quickly turn on my heel and start to continue walking when Harry grabs my wrist gently and pulls me to a stop, stepping in front of me. In one large hand he keeps hold on my wrist, the other hovering around my waist to keep me in place. He's staring at my shoulder, frowning and brows furrowed. I push his hand away from my waist, trying to pull free of his grip on my wrist.
"Did I do that?" He asks in disbelief, his now free hand coming up to lightly brush across the bruises. I squirm under his touch, wriggling my shoulder out from under his hand. He stares at me for a moment, slowly letting go of my wrist.
I stare at him and he swallows hard, mumbling quietly "Im sorry, Diana.. I didn't mean to do that.." I quickly look down to avoid his eyes and see his shoes step up to mine, our toes almost touching.
Harry reaches to brush my hair from my face and I gasp a little, scrambling backwards. He watches me for a moment before letting his hand drop back to his side. Before he can react, I dodge around him and run away from him.
My feet ache against the concrete and I make a mental note that it is a massive mistake to wear Toms while running. And honestly, I was scared to look back, fearful of seeing Harry following. So I don't stop. I run all the way to school.