23. "Cat's Out."
"Cas?!" I ask hysterically. "Cassie?"
I watch the struggle, side-glancing to my little brother, who's still unconscious on the floor near me. I can feel my heart shatter to pieces. What made him do it? Why did he let Lucifer in? What did that snake whisper to him?
I tense, watching Lucifer—or Cas, I'm not sure at this point—collapse on the floor. At this moment, Sam decides to wake up. He skitters away from them.
"Sammy," I whisper, putting a hand on him.
"Sam, Josette, it's me."
My mouth parts in relief. That voice definitely belongs to Cas. So does the look of pure concentration and struggle. I feel the tears in my eyes.
"Cas?" I whimper, looking at him sorrowfully. "Why?"
"I wanted to be of service to the fight. And only Lucifer can beat her."
"You chose this?" Each word out of my mouth sends another fissure into my heart. "You have to fight, Cas!"
"Eject him now!" Sam encourages.
"I can't!" says Cas. "It's taking all my strength to keep him from killing you. And besides, we need him."
"No, Cas, we don't," I plea. "We'll find another way to stop Amara! Get him out! Come back to us!" Come back to me.
Cas shakes his head. "We need him to save Dean."
"You can't time travel," Sam reminds him.
Another shake of Cas's head. "Only Lucifer can."
"You can't let him take over again," I say desperately.
"I have to."
"Cas!"
The second I see the change and see that it's Lucifer in control now, he disappears, leaving Sam and me flabbergasted. I feel floored, like someone's drowning me and I can't escape it. Lucifer. Lucifer. Cas let the Devil share a body with him. I wanted to be of service to the fight. My head is reeling. And only Lucifer can beat her.
"D-did you...?" Sam sputters.
"If I had known, I would've told you and Dean," I say shakily.
Speaking of our older brother, he and Lucifer pop back into the bunker. Dean's got a cloth in his hands, and he notices us on the floor.
"Dean—that's not Cas!" Sam warns him.
Dean stares at the two of us, before looking at Lucifer. I feel horrified watching my boyfriend's face—currently being worn by the Devil—twist into a sheepish, gleeful grin.
"Cat's out," Lucifer sings. I jump to my feet as Dean is launched over the table, landing on the floor on the other side, against the wall. "I feel a burden lifted. You know, this whole—deep cover thing—it just wasn't—it wasn't terribly well thought out. Donning this—this Cas mask? This grim face of angelic constipation? It was just—ugh. And then, teaming up with you three. I mean, I thought you were insufferable as mortal enemies, but working with you. That's the soul crusher." As Dean tries to stand, Lucifer shoves a force my brother's way, pinning him to the wall. "Guess the only perk was cozying up to your sister here." He winks in my direction, and I feel like I'm about to be sick. "Told you we'd get to know each other, Jo-Jo."
"You..." My fists are shaking in anger. He kissed me. The fucking Devil kissed me. I let the Devil touch me. Oh, my God.
Well, all the mouthwash in the world won't be able to erase that.
Since Hell, Lucifer's been in the pilot seat all this time. Cas...Cas has just become a spectator in his own body.
"Oh, come on, now, Jo-Jo. I wasn't that bad a kisser, was I? I got to be better than Castiel, at least. No?" He sighs dramatically when he notices my intense expression. "Ah well, I guess I struck out. Not usually my style." He looks at the three of us. "Why the long faces, you guys? You should be cheering. We have a common enemy. With this," Lucifer holds the cloth, which presumably holds the Hand of God, "she will be no problem. I mean, I will have killed you all by then, but still. Come on."
"No!" Dean shouts as Lucifer unwraps the Hand of God.
"Okay, maybe I fudged that a bit. I will have killed two of you. I might just leave Jo alive."
"No!" I scream louder when Lucifer comes into contact with the weapon.
I expect something to happen. The bunker to shake. The columns to break. The floor to crack under our feet and split open. Lucifer's waiting too; he's got his eyes closed, waiting to be basked in holy power.
But nothing happens. No power transfer. No Winchester deaths (yet). Lucifer opens his eyes, and I feel a brief moment of relief.
"It's kicked!" he hisses angrily.
"Well," I say smartly. "Who would've thought the Hand of God would turn out to be a one-hitter?"
Pissed, Lucifer tosses the Hand of God onto the table, and starts to stalk towards me. "You know, I've changed my mind. I'll kill all four of you."
A blast of light engulfs the room, and I cover my eyes, hearing Lucifer scream. When the light disappears, Lucifer has gone from the bunker. The useless Hand of God remains on the table, and Sam, Dean, and I are left flustered and hurting.
I totter towards the table, using it for support. My legs feel like jelly. I'll kill all four of you. Unless Lucifer meant Cas, he must've miscounted through his anger. But then I think back to something else he'd said, when we were tousling in his cage. You'd make a great mother, Jo-Jo.
Lucifer can't be saying that I'm...
No. That's not possible. If I am, I would be showing by now. It's been a few good months since then. I'm still as thin as a stick. I haven't experienced any symptoms. He's just saying things to screw with me. It's a mind game.
"Hey, guys," I say quietly, "can we...go for a drive, somewhere? To, uh, clear our heads?"
"Yeah, uh, sure," Dean says. "Where, Jo?"
"Anywhere, I don't care." I pick up the Hand of God. "Just some place where we can see the sky."
It's a silent procession out to Baby. Everyone's mute, I still continue to hold the Hand of God. Too bad it's a one-hitter. But I guess that's a good thing. Lucifer couldn't get a hold of its power.
Lucifer. What has he done while he's been in Cas's body? Where has he gone? I hadn't thought anything of it, when he'd disappeared for some time. That's how Cas and I work: we'd be together for a short time, our paths would branch off, and then we'd reunite some time later. It's just how it's been since I got pulled back into hunting.
But this hadn't been Cas who'd taken off, it was Lucifer.
I feel numb inside. I want to feel something, but where to start? Anger? Agony? Frustration?
He played us. Like a fiddle. We were all oblivious. What if Lucifer had kept the act going? Would we have ever figured it out until it was too late?
"Did you know?"
I look up. I realize Dean's talking to me. I shake my head. "He fooled us all, and we played into it like the idiots he made us look like." I push my head into the backseat.
"What did he mean, 'all four of you'?"
"Dean, I don't have the answers," I snap sorely. I wipe the angry tears off my face. "If I did, you'd be the first to know."
"You sure?"
"Yes." Now back the fuck off, would you? "We got to get Cas back, you guys."
"Even if we can, Jo, there's the off-chance he might not want to," Sam says carefully. I look at him, appalled. How can Sam say that?
I not-so-gently slam the Impala's door once we stop at an old dock in broad daylight. Still holding the Hand of God, I find a concrete block to sit on. I avoid eye contact with Dean as he sits beside me. I pretend like the weapon in my hand is the most important thing right now.
"Look, it's not that I don't believe you, Jo," Dean says quietly. "It's just..."
"He was just screwing with us," I say, licking my lips. "That's all it was. He seems to have taken a liking to me, a little too much if you ask me." I inhale the water smell. It doesn't calm me. "I just can't believe it. All this time..."
I pick my head up at hearing Sam's approaching feet on the dock.
"So," he says awkwardly.
"So," I say miserably. "Cas."
"Yeah. What do we do?"
"What else?" says Dean. "We hunt Lucifer, trap the bastard, and save Cas."
"Like I said. Lucifer may be in control now, but Cas may not come back willingly. I mean he chose it."
"No. No, not possible."
"He'll come back," I say. "He will." I sniff. He has to. He brought me home. It's time I brought him home.
"So how'd you get through today?" Sam asks Dean. "I mean what did you do?"
"Nothing," says Dean. "Sam, Jo, they..." I look out of the corner of my eye to see Dean looking out at the water. "I was just a witness."
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I say gently.
"No. No, story for another day. Hey, the uh—the German ship that sank the Bluefin, what happened to it?"
"It went down," Sam explains. "Unlike the sub, its wreckage was found. It was a giant hole. It ripped through the entire thing. Something must've hit the fuel tanks and exploded, but it burned. Sank."
I wonder. I look down at the Hand of God I still hold.
Whoever used that power, whether accidental or not, they certainly put it to good use.
**Okay, okay, y'all might be wondering: this is twice now Luci has alluded to something, specifically about Jo.
Do we believe him? Do we believe he's just playing good ole Lucifer mind games on our girl Jo?
Not like we have anyone/any evidence to confirm his little subtle jabs.**