"When I said I want you out of this house I didn't mean all night!" My mom ambushes me as I walk in the house "where have you been?"
"I was with Jax" I drop my keys
She grins "you told him?"
"God why is everyone riding me about this?" I walk away "yes, I will tell him, or no, I won't. Either way something's going to happen and it might be good" she continues to follow me
"Or it might be bad"
I get to my room "either way mom." I walk into my room shutting the door and dropping on my bed.
Taking my phone out of my pocket I unlock it and go to my voicemails, clicking Jessie's name I play her voicemail and hold the phone to my ear "Hey Mitchell its Jessie I don't know if you still have my number or not but... that's not what's important. I heard about the fire and I know we haven't spoken in a while but I just wanted to make sure you were ok, I bet you're out there saving everybody but forgetting yourself, I'm right aren't I?" I hear her chuckle "anyway if you are ok shoot me a text or something, could be anything a thumps up emoji or a letter I don't care. I know you say this to other people a lot but I'm here Mitch if you ever need... but yeah ok bye." The message cuts off and I find myself pulling the phone from my face with a smile.
Checking the time, Jessie should be out of school soon. I get out of bed walking out of my room to the front door "where are you going you just got back" my mom appears from thin air
"I just have to run out for a sec mom I'll be quick"
"No Mitch you need to sleep" she takes the keys before I can pick them up from the table
"I slept fine last night"
"Mitch please just go to your room and be fine for once"
"I'm fine mom look" I walk closer to her "now please can I have my keys"
"I can't stop you can I?"
"Yes you can but I know you trust that I'm ok when I say I am"
"Fine" she hands me my keys "but I swear to god boy I'm going to be watching you"
"Haven't you already?" I smile taking the keys from her
"Can you prove that?"
"Bye mom" I walk out.
•—•
Leaned against my car I wait outside of CHAMPS till everyone is let out, noticing Jessie in the crowd I hold up my thumb until she notices me. Smile growing on her face when she sees me, she says bye to her friends and walks towards me. "What are you doing here?" She comes closer
I point to my thumb "shooting you a text"
"Emoji, I said emoji"
"Thought the real thing would have been better" we laugh and hug each other
"How are you doing dude?"
"I'm doing fine I think how about you?"
We let go "fine I think. How's everybody else, your sister? Jax? Are they ok?"
"They're fine, are you busy right now? I kinda need some advice"
"This sounds serious, you better buy me lunch to keep my attention" she smirks
"Alright come on." We climb in my car and I pull away "so how you really been?" I ask her as she stares at me while I drive
"Do you know how blue your eyes are?"
"Focus Jessie" I tap her on the forehead "how are you?"
She sits back in her seat "oh I'm fine besides like failing a few tests, denied at every audition, and losing a great guy because I'm too nice and understanding. I'm great" she smiles
"That doesn't sound great"
"It doesn't but it really is, I'm 18 and I can't afford to panic"
"Yeah you can, I try not to panic all the time but I know I can if I need to"
"Yeah? What are your problems?"
I think "well I'm pretty sure I'm gay, everybody knows about it, I don't know the first thing about being gay, and everyone is taking all this shit better than I am!" I feel myself tensing up
"None of those things are necessarily bad Mitch"
"Yeah? You turn gay and tell me how it feels"
"I can't do that without a reason, what's your reason?"
"None of that made sense"
"It made perfect sense Mitch, why do you think you're gay?"
"Because I'm in love with Jax"
"Great have you admitted that yet?"
"Yeah I just did"
"To Him! Have you admitted it to Jax?"
"I feel like he knows and he's just waiting on me to act on it, or he really doesn't know and he's just hoping there's a chance I might feel something for him"
"Poor guy he's probably suffering" why does everyone think that?!
She opens her mouth to say something and I cut her off "I swear if the next words out of your mouth are you have to tell him Mitch, I'm turning this car around"
"That's not what I was going to say" she denies nervously "I was going to say... what's for lunch?"
We get to the restaurant and I park. "You are so good to me!" Jessie says excitedly as we sit at our table
"Not the first time I've heard that today"
"Welcome my name's Rachel and I'll be your waitress this afternoon, can I start you guys off with something to drink?"
"Yes please" Jessie starts "I'll have a..." she scans the menu "the pink lemonade"
Then they turn to me "water's fine thanks"
"I'll be right back with those."
"Now that we're here will you tell me what you need advise on?"
"When Jax was in the coma I told him I was in love with him then he woke up, I have no idea if he heard me or not. I don't usually let things bother me but Jax is just messing with my mind, I don't know if what I feel for him is real or if I'm just projecting because he almost died"
"When you and I were dating you spent most of the time talking about Jax, you'd always leave because Jax needed saving and now you don't know how you feel because you almost lost Jax without saying goodbye or sharing your true feelings"
"I was the one who saved him"
Her mouth drops then she laughs "of course you were! The school's on fire and the only thing running through your mind is if Jax is ok, Mitch if that isn't love then I don't know what is"
"Tell me what happens after I tell him. I go to Jax look at him right in the face and tell him how I feel, what happens after that?"
"You kiss?"
"I haven't even thought about that, what it'd be like to kiss Jax or have sex with him, I've only ever had sex with girls"
"Don't think too much into it Mitch" she places a hand on my hand as I grip the sides of the table trying to not freak out "it's going to be fine"
"How do you know that?"
"I don't alright, no one ever does for sure but that's the whole point of life take everything step by step and hope for the best"
•—•
After lunch with Jessie I drop her home and went back home. That night I lay in bed trying to sleep, I hear my door slowly opening and Liv's head pops in "are you awake?" She aks
"No" I turn my back to her
"Great" she walks in anyway shutting the door behind her "I need to ask you something"
"What?" I turn to look at her
Sitting on my bed she faces me "how do you know when someone likes you?"
"Wrong person to ask"
"No seriously Scott and I have barely talked since our date, he texted me after the fire and asked if I was ok but after that I haven't heard from him. Why do you think?"
"I seriously do not know Liv, some guys are jerks and some are too scared to share their feelings. You can either be straight forward and ask him or let him go"
"Well mom said I should confront him"
"Then do that"
"Ok I will. How's your situation going?"
"It's not, I don't know why it's so hard for me to just tell him"
"Maybe you're not in love with him, he almost died and if that wasn't enough for you to tell him how you feel then maybe you just don't feel anything"
"But I told him tho, when he was in the coma I told him and he woke up"
"You think he heard you?"
"I don't know! He hasn't mentioned it "
"I don't know what to tell you Mitch... if you're worried about this so much then just tell him. Just go to him and open your mouth whatever falls out falls out"
Thinking about it I decide "fine tomorrow morning I'm gonna drive to his house and tell him how I feel"
Liv smiles "there you go! And just take it from there" she stands up from my bed "man my brother went from dating one of the most popular girls in our school to one of the most popular guys, what do they see in you?"
"Get out Liv" she laughs as she's walking out.
I've made up my mind, if I don't tell Jax tomorrow then I'm never gonna.