(Special Note: Please read it slowly and carefully, I noticed many of you skipped the details and in the end not understanding the plot. Thank you.)
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"Will you let me in?" Jiyong whispered, and when he leaned in closer to kiss me again, I closed my eyes.
Deep in my heart, I was saying goodbye to someone else.
Time stopped.
Two weeks later........
Korean Ice Cream Bar, Namsan.
It's been two weeks since Mark and I broke up. And it's been two weeks since Jiyong and I kissed in the beach, on my debut party.
Things went normal as usual, only my heart is getting weird.
It's just two days before my debut stage. My album is completely finished, all photoshoots and music video filming was wrapped up, and I finally had a time to relax on my own.
And today... I finally had the chance to meet up with my best friends... Ha Neul and Ji Woon!
Ha Neul is currently taking a break from university, while Ji Woon had a day off from SM Entertainment. It felt like it has been forever since we had a time together.
Nearly 1pm, I sat already in a ice cream bar-cafe, in Namsan, along with Ha Neul. We were still waiting for Ji Woon to come, he said that he's going to be late.
"Are you and G-Dragon a thing now, then?" Ha Neul asked me, while licking her ice cream spoon- staring at me with her puppy eyes.
I found it difficult to answer the question, and I lowered my gaze while shrugged. I finally decided to tell her everything. Mark and I broke up already, and the kiss with Jiyong- on my debut party.
Ha Neul exhaled in desperation, "Did he call you or anything after the.... kiss?"
"Everything went normal. We met a few times, but not so often anymore. Our work is almost done, and he's busy working on Big Bang's new album- I think. But... He called me 'jagi' now..."
I hid my face, while Ha Neul choked on her ice cream, "Ja-jagi?"
"But we're not officially together!" I hastily added, while looking away, "I don't even know what happened between us,"
Ha Neul took my hand, "If he kissed you... Then he definitely think that you are together now! Boys like G-Dragon doesn't need any agreement or confession to make it official!"
I exhaled again, "Is it because our age gap is really big, that's why I am having a hard time understanding him?"
"How far is your age gap?"
"Nine years."
"Wow.... yeah, that's.... pretty wide...." Ha Neul stared at me in disbelief.
But, I don't really feel the difference actually, especially when I am with him.
"What about Mark, then?" Ha Neul suddenly asked while eating her ice cream again, "Are you two in good terms?"
I looked up, "Hmm... I don't know. I never see him anymore. At all actually,"
"How come?!"
"I was busy working on my album all the time, while GOT7 is busy filming their variety show, the one with LOVELYZ from Woolim Entertainment. They are literally out, filming all day. So, we never see each other again," I explained bitterly.
Part of me was not ready to see after the break up, but part of be was curious about how he has been doing. He must be so tired with the activities...
Ha Neul nodded twice, "I remember now. They aired the first three episodes already. I watched the second one."
I noticed that Ha Neul slowed down, before continuing, "Sorry to bring this up. But... it seemed that Mark is pretty close to one of the girl. Her name is Mijoo- if I am not mistaken. Netizens love them so much, they even made a couple name, MarkJoo. I don't know if their friendship is just based on script or anything- but they became popular these days."
I nod a few times, "Yes, I know already."
Ha Neul looked at me carefully, "Are you okay, Hee Young?"
I raised my head, "It's not about that- I have to be okay. We broke up already. I have to be okay, right?"
Ha Neul smiled bitterly at me, "Yeah, you're right."
At the same time, the cafe door was opened, ringing a guest bell on the door. Both me and Ha Neul looked to the entrance at the same time, and we saw... a tall figure entering the cafe. Those familiar black hair....
"YAH, JI WOON! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" Ha Neul screamed before I could even react, and I immediately hit her arm, as a few guests turned around to look at us.
I almost laughed when Ji Woon's eyes squinted at Ha Neul, while still walking towards us, "Jesus Christ... Don't embarrass me, Ha Neul-a!"
The two of them shared a hug, and I smiled widely. Oh my, my heart hurts... It's been a while since I hang with the two of them. They are my best friends. My heart immediately warms up at the sight of Ji Woon and Ha Neul laughing at each other.
Ji Woon turned to look at me, grinning, "Woah, Hee Young! You're not going to greet me?"
I chuckled, and seconds later, we were hugging already. I looked at him, "Oh my God... Ji Woon... You're getting so much taller!"
Ha Neul added, "Jesus... You're more handsome than ever!"
Ji Woon quickly grinned, then did a small pose while holding onto his sweater and looked to the other way. Hmm, SM taught him to pose well, huh?
"A year ago, you would never do that, Ji Woon-a," I smiled.
"Wow... I still can't believe how much you have changed. You're so handsome now, oh my God.... I could stare at you all day...." Ha Neul grinned widely, still studying Ji Woon intensely.
I laughed again, while Ji Woon rolled his eyes.
"Of course... I've always been handsome... You two just didn't realise it back then in my high school uniform!" Ji Woon rambled, while taking a spoon to eat our ice cream.
All of us decided to move place, and we ended up going to the restaurant that we all went last year, when I just finished my JYP Audition. Such a nostalgia...
"Open your mouth, Hee Young, aaaaahhhh...."
I turned around to see Ji Woon smiling at me, holding his chopsticks towards my mouth. I quickly opened my mouth and tasted his food.
"So... How are you, Ji Woon?" I asked him after all of us relaxed a bit.
Ji Woon turned to stare at me, "Well.... Not so good actually. I want to be honest to all of you today. Since you two are my friends..."
Ha Neul tensed up, "What's wrong?"
Ji Woon smiled bitterly, scratching his forehead, "Well... I began to get sick in SM. Not only SM, but... this whole K-pop thing. It makes me sick, and I started to hate it."
"W-What are you saying?" I looked at him in confusion.
"It's all fake, Hee Young-a," Ji Woon stared deeply at me, "K-Pop is all fake. You know, in SM, everyone is literally bullied and treated like a robot. EXO members did not actually friendly towards each other, but our Sajangnim forced them to upload selfies to SNS- of course to avoid rumours. Many of SM Artists are faking news, like dating news and all. Just to create dramas between artists. This is not what I want to do, this is not what I believe in when I joined the company."
Ha Neul and I listened carefully to Ji Woon's statement.
I am lucky that JYP is not like that at all. Well, even though I know that Miss A unnies are not actually close to each other- Fei unnie and Suzy unnie hated each other, and also, that 15& is living separately since last month, because Yerin and Jimin did not work out as before.
This Kpop world is fake. I am getting sick of it.
"Are you... planning to leave SM, Ji Woon-a?" Ha Neul asked carefully.
Ji Woon smiled at her, "I was removed from NCT U anyway,"
"What?! Removed?!"
He nodded, "Yeah. In the end, I did not make it to debut along with my friends, Ten, Mark Lee, and Taeyong. They removed me last minute, saying that my dancing skill was fine, but my singing was not that good. They told me."
Ha Neul looked pissed, "What... How can they put you in, and then removed you again?"
"It happens all the time in every entertainment business," I added, "Even JYP. They cancelled a girlband project, and then decided to do survival contest. Around 8 trainess left the company and even I was disappointed."
Jae In. Sunny.
"True," Ji Woon nodded calmly, "We have no power in the company. One of my friend was trained for six years, he gave up anything to be in SM- and last week the company just kicked him out. That's it, and you're done."
Ha Neul stared at him in disbelief, "That's.... mean..."
"But that's how the world works," Ji Woon said calmly, making him looked wiser as a man. I am sure SM did changed him. Maybe he was bullied there? Starved?
Suddenly, Ji Woon pointed at me, "Hee Young here is the lucky one. You're making it out alive, right? You're debuting in two days."
I am the lucky one, making it out alive.
I smiled, nodding, "It was not that easy. You think this world is full of winners? You might see 50 artists in JYP, but can you count how many that failed the audition? Probably thousands...."
"That's what I'm talking about," Ji Woon added.
Silence filled us for a moment.
"So, what are you going to do now?" I asked Ji Woon in curiosity, "If you're no longer in NCT U..."
Ji Woon stared at me, "Well... I am still a trainee. Maybe I have to trained longer and not debut as NCT U- but... The Sajangnim recently called me, asking me to be a model and actor instead,"
"Wow, you're shifting your training system then?" Ha Neul's eyes widened.
Ji Woon answered, "Yes. I am thinking to agree with that. I've been told that I am tall enough to be a model, and I can take acting classes. Maybe.. music is not for me?"
I stared at Ji Woon, who's busy explaining the training system in SM with Ha Neul. Even Ji Woon is having a hard time before his debut.
Maybe... yes, I am the lucky one here.
"Oh... and, before I forgot," Ji Woon's words startled me from my own thoughts, and he took something out of his bag. It is a frame, with a picture of the three of us- when we were still in high school.
"Ji Woon..." I grinned as I took the frame from his hands.
Ji Woon smiled at me, "In two days, you're no longer just Park Hee Young. You are EM too. I want you to not forget that, this is you- with us. No matter what happened after you debut, you'll always have us... your friends, Kim Ha Neul and Kang Ji Woon."
Ha Neul added while smiling sincerely at me, "Maybe we will never be together as often as we were back then, but... I don't want us to ever change. The three of us..."
I smiled, and suddenly felt the urge to cry. Seeing my teary eyes, Ji Woon groaned, "Damn, I knew you would cry at times like this. I shouldn't give you something this personal, huh?"
I punched Ji Woon's arm lightly, turning to the frame with our picture, "No. It was perfect."
Back then, we thought that we were lost. We were so young and naive. But now, as I looked at it again. Those were good times. When we were free, our happiness was pure, when we had nothing to hide.
We were perfect.
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Water Themed Park, Carribbean Bay, Everland-ro.
"This is the final episode of our variety show. We definitely had fun, and we started this show as completely strangers. However, GOT7 oppas treated us really well, and we are so glad to be able to feature in this show with them. I hope, in the future, we might be able to work together again!"
Everyone clapped as Baby Soul from LOVELYZ did her last speech on the camera.
The staffs and the cameraman were smiling at each other as they finally finished the Variety Show that they have been working on for the past two weeks non-stop.
Today is their last filming day.
Mark exhaled to the sky as the director finally announced 'cut', and everyone turned to bow at each other.
"Finally finished!" Bambam smiled widely at Mark, and he returned the smile to Bambam.
Park Jin Young promised them, that after their variety show finished, they will be able to comeback to the stage again, and probably recording another comeback.
Mark was half-running towards the resting area, and he was approached by one of the staff Noona.
"Why the usual staff team is not here?" Mark asked while opening his water bottle casually and drowned it.
The staff Noona turned at him, "Most of them are busy preparing for EM's debut in two days. You know that, right?"
Mark stopped drinking immediately, and then he gave her a small smile, "Oh, I've been counting actually...."
Mark turned around, to see the rest of the members are walking towards him with LOVELYZ members. But, Mark was deep in his thoughts. She's finally making it.
"Good news! We all can go home early by now!" Manager-hyung announced, and JB smiled to himself. Jr was exhaling, while Jackson laughed with Bambam.
Mark felt like a pair of eyes was studying him, so he glanced towards it, and he found Mijoo walking towards him.
Mark instantly smiled at her, "Hey,"
Mijoo grinned a little. After being friends and hung around each other for nearly two weeks, the two of them are pretty close already. Mijoo is no longer shy towards Mark, and Mark felt himself can approach her anytime.
"So, this is it, isn't?" Mijoo looked around, to see many staffs began to pack their cameras.
"Of course not. We can still meet if we have schedules and anything. It's not like any of us is leaving Korea forever," Mark gave her a smile, and she nodded in agreement.
Both of them looked at each other.
"Why do I have a feeling that we might be distant from now on," Mijoo whispered while looking at somewhere else.
Mark noticed the uneasiness in her tone, and he chuckled, "Why?"
Of course, after the shooting is finished, they will not be able to meet each other as often- but Mark did not really see it as something sad. Because he felt nothing towards her- actually.
"Promise me, we'll still see each other, even after this?" Mijoo gave Mark a stare.
Mark knew that her stare was a calm one- yet piercing. Mark never understood her stare, but he liked it. This girl seemed strong and independent. Not someone needy and clingy. Someone we could relate- maybe as good friends.
"Of course," Mark smiled again, this time putting his hand on her shoulder, "I will see you soon."
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JYP Entertainment, Front Building
Ah Ri and Ju Kyung were just walking back together to the company, after buying drinks from 7Eleven, before their night dance practice with Kahi unnie.
When they finally arrived right in front of the building, they were surprised by several men standing in front of the building, and the other two were hanging with safety ropes to place a poster on JYP building. The poster was being placed above JYP sign.
"What are they putting on?" Ju Kyung looked up to study the poster.
It was Hee Young's debut poster. JYP is finally putting it up for the promotion.
Ah Ri smiled, "Woah, they are finally putting on Hee Young unnie's poster! It's so cool!"
Ju Kyung exhaled, glaring at the poster above her, "Yeah, she is finally debuting. She might freaked out to see her face on it later,"
"Of course!" Ah Ri felt herself being hyped up, "It must be really nice to have your own picture placed on it. Don't you think so, Ju Kyung-ah?"
Ju Kyung turned at Ah Ri, "We just got here. Still a long way to go...."
The two of them stared at Hee Young's face, except that the name written there was not Hee Young- but EM.
"She is so lucky," Ju Kyung frowned as the poster was placed perfectly, "Only for a year as a trainee, and now debuting already?"
Ah Ri turned to her, "Because she's capable. Have you even watch her performance before?"
Ju Kyung mumbled, "I don't like her, so I didn't..."
Ah Ri watched Ju Kyung turned away and walked to the company by herself. Ah Ri exhaled, "What? Did she ever even do anything wrong to you? She's probably the kindest senior here. Oh... are you angry because Mark oppa was dating her? Can't you be at least supportive here, they just broke up, c'mon..."
Ju Kyung stopped and turned at her, "Okay. They broke up already. And now, she's debuting- even hanging with G-Dragon! She even hung out with Bangtan Boys, look at her Instagram!"
"You..... stalked her?" Ah Ri felt the urge to snort, and Ju Kyung already turned away to leave her.
Ju Kyung already left her in all of her embarrassment. Ah Ri decided to let her, and she stared at the poster a little bit longer.
Everyone is envy at you, unnie, Ah Ri whispered in her heart, So no matter what happened, you should be happy. Many would kill to be you. To have their face on this wall.
Ah Ri suddenly thought of what Ju Kyung said, and she slowly took out her phone and opened Hee Young's Instagram page.
She never posted anything anymore since three months ago, and she found a picture of Hee Young- with a Bangtan Boys member. It was posted nearly last year, when Hee Young was still a trainee.
The caption was: "Having piercing >.<"
"Wow, she was really friends with Jungkook from Bangtan Boys," Ah Ri mumbled while opening the company door.
As she walked inside, she accidentally saw a figure walking across her with sunglasses on.
Ah Ri's heart almost dropped as she recognise him as G-Dragon. G-Dragon is here!
He was talking to the receptionist lady.
"Is Hee Young here?" He asked with a smug smile. He seemed excited about something.
The staff answered him, telling that she's on the way back to the company- being picked up by her manager already.
"Oh, alright. I'll be waiting in studio 5. I told your sajangnim already that I will borrow the company's studio today. I'll be working on something," Jiyong said with a smile, then left the lobby.
Ah Ri watched him.
He's writing a song- here?!
_______________________________________________________________________________
Small Alleyway, near JYP Entertainment
"Can you just drop me here, Oppa?" I asked Maru oppa, who was driving the car. We are finally heading back to the company, so I could rest.
Maru oppa turned to me, "Keundae, wae (But.. why?) It's late already,"
I gave him a small sad smile, "From here, it is my favorite walk to the company. When I was still a trainee, I usually hang around here, walking with Jae In and Sunny. Before my debut, I thought I would miss it. So... I would like to do it one last time, on my own- as a trainee."
Maru oppa slowly smiled too, "You're a sensitive person, huh?"
I smiled back at him, "Please? Can I do it?"
He looked to the front, before exhaling, "Alright! Go, but be careful, alright? Don't stay out for too long. Well, take your time, but text me when you're back. Alright?"
"Thank you, Oppa!" I grinned, before putting on my jacket and walked down from the car.
I waved at him, as Maru oppa drived slowly to the company alone. Now, I am alone in this alleyway.
I looked around, trying to consume all of the familiarity of this place. When I hung with the other special trainees, furtive hang outs with Mark when we were still dating.
I slowly walked down the street, smiling sadly to myself- that soon, I won't be able to do this all by myself anymore.
Suddenly, my phone rang in my pocket, and I took it out to see Jiyong was calling me. This guy must be in the company already.
"Yeoboseyo (Hello?)"
"Hey, jagi. I am already here. Where are you? The staff told me that you're outside?" Jiyong's voice was unusually playful, as if he was excited about something.
I slowly smiled, "I am taking a walk from the last turn. Relax, I'll be there in ten minutes, Oppa."
Jiyong chuckled over the phone, "Alright, don't stay out for too long. It's cold. See you, Jagi~"
I hang up when he did. I stared at the phone.
We kissed. Does it mean that we're dating now? Why is he calling me Jagi? I made a mental note in my head to talk to him about it.
A small store took my attention. It was the small yakitori place that Mark and I liked so much. I stopped walking to just stare at the store with yellow lightnings in front of me.
Mark and I used to go here in secrecy and eat lots of chicken balls and Japanese sausages.
Slowly smiling, I decided to walked in and bought a stick of Pork Sausage. I grinned by myself, and then I lowered down my head to eat it while walking out, because a group of girls were entering the shop.
I need to hide myself, so I kept on lowering down my head to eat.
"Hee Young?"
I felt my heart drop, as I heard that familiar voice, right behind me. His voice.
I turned around almost instantly, as I saw him- standing behind me. Mark.
He looked at me slowly, as if he was studying my face. I stopped chewing and I stared back at him. Then I realised how much I actually missed him. We haven't talk for weeks. I thought he was going to treat me coldly, until he slowly smiled at me.
"You still like that sausage so much?" Mark grinned at me.
And why are you still so gorgeous when you smile like that, Mark?
"Y-Ye (yeah?)" I got stuttered, "Yeah, I missed it,"
Mark chuckled while watching me. He quickly covered his head with his hoodie, to avoid suspicion as well. I looked at warm plastic bag in his hand.
"What are you doing here? Honja-sseo? (Alone?)" I asked him after swallowing properly.
Mark nodded, "Hm-mm. I bought some snacks from the convenience store. I want to help JB working on a song tonight,"
I nodded while swallowing for the third time, "I see..."
Silence filled us for a moment, and I looked down to his jacket buttons instead of his eyes.
"Shall we go back now? Wanna walk together?" Mark breaks the silence, and he asked me in this friendly tone that I haven't heard in a long time.
You're asking me to walk with you?
But I found myself smiling, "Yeah, sure. Let's go,"
We then walked down the alleyway that we usually go- just the two of us. The air was cold, but as I walked with him, this familiar warmth crept up to my chest. I feel complete when he's next to me. Isn't weird?
"How are you?" Mark asked while looking at me for a second, before looking to the front again.
"M-Me?"
"Yeah, I haven't see you for so long. Or... maybe I feel that it is been long," Mark laughed to himself, "You're done with preparations, right?"
I nodded, smiling excitedly at him all of the sudden, "Yeah, I am done with everything. Finally I can rest and just prepared myself for... the day,"
Mark smiled, "Big day is getting closer and closer, huh?"
"It feels weird. It is just two nights away, I can't believe it," I grinned while looking at the sky, "It felt like it was just yesterday when I was trembling in the audition room with my guitar... then you approached me, and then-"
I stopped in the middle of my sentence, and Mark stopped walking too.
Damn. I shouldn't.
We stayed on our place, no one moved.
"Your audition day- was the day when we first met," Mark mumbled softly, looking down while smiling a little, "I forgot about that."
I hold my breathe, "Mark......"
He didn't move. He stayed like that for a moment, before he slowly took my hand into his. I looked at him in surprised, but then he just kept walking. I followed him.
My heart was pounding like crazy while he's holding my hand- just like old days.
"Oppa.." I called him.
"Hmm-mm?" He didn't look at me.
"What happened to us?" I looked up to the sky, "No matter how much I think about it.. I can't figure it out,"
Mark did not answer me, and he just kept walking. Still, while holding my hand. But I knew he was listening carefully. I just knew.
"I don't think it is because we stopped loving each other. I was hurting so much because we broke up. But, I thought it was the right thing to do. I don't think it's because we hate each other after all that happened. Because I don't hate you," I stopped walking.
He stopped walking too, and I stared at out holding hands.
"And I don't think you... hate me too," I whispered.
Mark finally turned around, "What happened to us..... was beyond our control, Hee Young. Don't beat up yourself,"
"Oppa, look at me," my voice was trembling already.
Mark turned around to finally look at me in the eye. We stayed that way.
"What do you want me to do?" His question was empty, "What do you want from me?"
"I want nothing from you," I answered immediately, "Nothing."
Mark exhaled, looking down to our holding hands, "Then you have loved me sincerely, Hee Young. I am thankful for that."
Now I felt myself was on the edge of crying, and I couldn't reply him. Of course, I want the two of us to be together again.
Mark continued to walk, holding my hands again.
"When I decided to let go of you," Mark breaks the silence, "I thought I would have you again after this all over. I was blaming you for a moment, but now I realised it was all my fault."
Can we stop blaming ourselves for everything? Because I don't want to care anymore. You're the only thing mattered.
"But then I realised, these past few days," Mark continued, his footsteps were getting slower, "That you can't just turn back time. No matter how much I tried, Hee Young..."
Mark turned to look at me,
"We will forever be unhappy, right?" His smile was bitter.
Mark touched my cheek to wiped my tears away.
We will forever be unhappy, right?
He leaned closer to me, smiling bitterly, "I am not going to ask you to wait for me. Don't ever hold on to the past. Don't look for happiness in where you lost it, alright?"
"Oppa..." I cried harder.
"You can forget me now," Mark nodded to himself, as if he was talking to himself- to forget me.
"Why-"
"Please forget me now," Mark forced a small sincere smile at me, "It is all my fault."
I looked into his eyes, as if it was my last time meeting him. My last time seeing him as who we are right now. Just Mark and Hee Young.
"Did you ever miss me?" I suddenly felt the urge to ask him, out of curiosity, "At least once, ever missing me since we broke up? Just... once?"
It hits me the most, because as I finished my sentence, Mark's eyes turned glassy too.
He cleared his throat, looking at me deeply.
"Every single second," His voice was barely audible, "I missed you."
Damn you, now how can I ever forget you?
________________________________________________________________________________
JYP Entertainment, Studio 5
Jiyong stood up immediately as I closer the door behind me, slowly walking to the studio, approaching him.
"You're late!" He frowned at me, but he walked towards me excitedly, "Jagi, you promised to help me with this tonight, remember?"
I looked at him, "What?"
Jiyong frowned again, "Ngg, recording my demo. Remember? The song I wrote next to you last week! You said you'll record the duet with me?"
Oh. I quickly got back to my senses and nodded at him, "Oh yes, that song... 'If You', right? You're planning to put that in Big Bang's next album?"
Jiyong nodded eagerly. He seemed to enjoy the fact that he could now share anything with me- even part of his work. He would often tell me things, random stuff, about the maknae Seungri, his sister's fashion style, even the songs he wrote that day.
I took a seat next to him, and he did the same. I looked at the papers and the devices he had been working on before I came. I took the lyrics paper and looked at it.
Beside me, Jiyong stared directly at me.
"Jagi, where have you been?" He asked casually, pushing a bowl of almonds to me.
My eyes are still fixed on the paper in my hand, "Hanging with Ha Neul and Ji Woon. We had ice cream, lunch, then we spend the entire day in COEX. Wew~"
Jiyong chuckled next to me, nodding to my answer, "Have you eaten?"
"I had yakitori on the way here," I answered casually. I was not sure why, but today, I was not as excited as usual when I'm with him. My thoughts were still tense from my walk with Mark just now.
Just now, we simply arrived in the company after the walk, and both of us stood there, stunned at a huge poster of mine, above JYP building door.
_____
Mark slowly pressed my fingers as he was still holding my hand.
"Wow, it's you," He stared at a huge version of my album cover, placed there.
I was stunned too, "It's finally here."
Mark turned to me, "Congratulations, Hee Young. I haven't congratulate you for your debut. Debut chukhahae (congrats on your debut),"
He was giving me a sincere smile, and I simply returned the stare. I stopped crying already, and I decided to cherish every single moment I had with him.
"It's very easy to get lost once you debuted," Mark said softly, "I wish you would never waver, never change. Don't ever lose your way, alright? You worked hard for this. You earned it, you should go for it. Promise me, that you'll be fine?"
_____
"YAH! Hee Young!"
I almost jumped from my seat, "Yeah, yeah? What is it?"
Jiyong stayed quiet, looking at me carefully, "What's up with you? I've been calling you like five times already..."
My jaw dropped, "Oh, really? I am sorry, what you wanted to say?"
But Jiyong didn't reply me right away. Instead, he studied me again, slightly smiling, but he was confused on how occupied I was.
"No, I was telling you that..." He grinned, "It was weird. I wrote two songs about you already. Remember, 'Stay With Me', the one I recorded with Taeyang? Then.. I finished another song for you, 'Let's Not Fall in Love'. I wrote it a week ago. I'll show it to you when we're done recording this one."
Oh.
I looked down. He wrote songs for me. Does he think of me that important?
"What were you thinking about?" Jiyong asked me while leaning closer.
I quickly shook my head, "Nothing. S-Shall we start recording now?"
Jiyong simply nodded, "Okay. We'll do the duet right away, alright? The demo doesn't have to be perfect, I am just showing this to Big Bang boys."
I nodded. He prepared the microphone for me, and we put the headset together. A slow intro with guitar was heard, and I slowly sang my part.
Jiyong was staring at me as I sang.
He is leaving
And I can't do anything
Love is leaving
Like a fool, I'm blankly standing here
I'm looking at him, getting farther away
She becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times
I remember you
I feel myself getting emotional as the lyrics hits me in the chest. I didn't know if my voice was trembling already, but I kept singing as If I wanted to cry. Jiyong was looking at me intensely, but he just simply continued singing his part.
IF YOU
IF YOU
If it's not too late
Can't we get back together?
IF YOU
IF YOU
If you're struggling like I am
Can't we make things a little easier?
I should've treated you better when I had you
(Big Bang: If You)
"Stop it."
Jiyong's stern voice was stopped me singing immediately, as the instrumental was turned off right away.
"What happened?" I asked him, and he was looking at me, looking angry.
"You sang it for him, did you?" Jiyong's voice was more dominant and angrier than usual, I found it scary a little.
"Who-"
"Mark." He answered me immediately, "I could see it. The way you're singing the song- as if you're singing it for someone. And I know it's him."
I exhaled. I put my headset on the table, and simply stared at the machinery in front of me. Jiyong also did not say anything, he just looked away and stared at it. None of us looked at each other or bothered to say anything.
"You... still love him, do you?" Jiyong breaks the silence, and his eyes slowly turned to look at me.
I slowly began to raise my head too, and our eyes met.
"It doesn't matter."
"Of course, it matters," Jiyong said deeply. Of course, it matters.
I gathered all of my courage, "You want to know the truth from me? Yes. I love him."
Jiyong's eyes were lowered down, and I felt a pang in my chest. Because I knew, I have feelings for him too.
"Is it weird to say that- I love you when I'm with you. And I love him when I'm with him?"
I felt Jiyong's stare was piercing through me, and I quickly stood up. He looked at me.
I gathered my things on the other desk, "I don't even know what we are. I am confused right now, and I feel like breaking down because I kept on thinking about him, but my knees weakened when I am with you. So, let's just stop this."
Jiyong scoffed, "Stop this?"
I ignored him and walked to the door, "I am going to rest. I am sorry."
I opened the door and simply walked to the elevator. I need to get out from here. I want to run away.
As the elevator door was opened and I was about to get in, my hand was pulled to the back and I was surprised my Jiyong's face right in front of mine.
"Stop this? You say stop this?" He growled against my face.
I shot him a stare, "We kissed once! But I was vulnerable. Just one kiss didn't claim anything, doesn't mean we're together,"
His face turned from bad to worse, "One kiss is not enough to say that you're mine?"
I shook his hand away and I got into the elevator, but surprisingly, he did the same. Inside the elevator, he pulled me towards him.
"Fine. I'll kiss the hell out of you," Jiyong leaned closer, "You are mine."
And with that, he pressed his lips against mine, and I struggled to get out of his embrace. But in the end, he pushed me to the side of the elevator, and whispered against my lips, "I love you."
I stopped moving and I stayed quiet at his words.
I love you.
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Studio Corridor, JYP Entertainment
Ju Kyung walked in the corridor of JYP studios while looking around- as if she was sneaking.
She looked to the left and right, before telling herself that no one was here.
Right after her dance practice with the special trainees, Ah Ri told her that G-Dragon just came here to write songs.
"He came with his recording equipment- if I am not mistaken. The staff gave him studio 5. Isn't great if the track he's working on right now, will soon be number one in hot music charts. Everything that G-Dragon wrote is always on the top list," Ah Ri said while walking out of the dance studio.
Ah Ri was just saying it with no intentions, but Ju Kyung does.
Out of curiosity, she just wanted to listen- or eavesdropping on any song that she might heard in front of the studio. Just so curious. It would be a great privilege to listen to his songs before anyone else.
With a sneaky smile, Ju Kyung peeked at the studio 5 window. But no one was there.
Ju Kyung then saw the computer with recording equipment was there, followed with microphones and lyrics papers on the table.
The next thing Ju Kyung knows, that she was inside the studio already. Looking at the files on the computer.
She grinned evilly at the computer.
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Author's Note: You guys are incredibly amazing, for waiting. For one month.
I know that 'thank you' and 'sorry' is not enough, but I just want all of you to understand that I am struggling to graduate (surviving this world :D), so I apologize if I am not updating as regularly as I was in Book 1.
But, I am excited to announce, that the plot I have been working on deeply is finally starting at this point, so get ready for the story ahead (haha).
And, for all of you who missed Jungkook and BTS- they are coming on the next chapter. Also, if you are curious about Jae In and JB... (Hehehehe).
Lastly, do tag me your fave quotes on Instagram or Twitter!
Insta: jesselyn_j / Twitter: jesselynjanice
Thank you!