Mistakes are unavoidable. Learn how to forgive yourself. -Unknown
---------------------------------------
This was something i never thought i would do. I was actually going to New Jersey - a whole new town - with some guy i only know for the past two months. I sat in the passenger seat and buckled up as Dylan sat on the driver's seat.
"No regrets?", he smiled at me. I looked away. I had no idea how to respond to such a freaky smile. I didnt want to go but its like someone was controlling me and my feet. As much as i wanted to stop, i couldn't.
Dylan started up the engine with a roar. He had a pickup truck with a closed trunk. Who knows what was trapped inside it. I closed my eyes and prayed to Allah, that whatever happens, happens for a good reason. And i prayed that i dont regret my decision later in life.
He was driving 60 miles per hour. About 10 minutes later, Dylan took a turn in a bushy area. The road was rough and was occupied with all kinds of trees and bushes. I could see a black cat and about three to four dogs wandering around. I looked at Dylan, but he had the most relaxing smile on his face.
"What is this place?" i asked him, when i couldn't get anymore of the dangling trees that rubbed on the car's roof as we passed by.
"The warehouse", he answered.
"The warehouse?", i asked him. Before he could answer, he stopped in front of a rusty building with grafitti paint on it. The windows were all broken and the stairs looked like there was no one who lived here.
"Where are we Dylan? Why did you stop here?" i asked him, my heart pace faster than usual. He didnt answer me. Instead, he took out his phone and sent a text to someone. About 6 seconds later, out walked 2 men, who wore ripped jeans and a shirt with no buttons. Their head was covered up with a scarf and they were smoking a cigarette.
"Drop that Andrew and help me", said Dylan as he got out the car. I sat stiff as the two men came up to my door and opened it like they owned it. Before i knew it, i was picked up on one's shoulder and was being carried inside the building.
"Stop. Stop.. what are you doing? Stop!" i said, banging on the man's back.
I glanced at dylan as the man took me inside. "Dylan, stop him!" i shouted.
"Why should i?", he smirked. That was the last thing i heard before entering a dark room.
*FlashBack Over*
At breakfast the next morning, my mom gave out a news.
"We found a college nearby Hamna", she was excited like she was the one who's going to be a college freshman.
"So.. when is she starting?", Hafsa blurted out. I kept chewing my food since i hadn't eaten anything since that half-eaten sandwich. My dad couldn't find a restaurant or any store to buy food from, last night, so we had to sleep with our hungry stomach.
"Very soon inshAllah. Your father is going to go and get her application in today", my mom smiled. Well, that's what she sounded like.
"I can't believe Hamna's all grown up. Seems it was just yesterday she started elementary", Aunty Aamina stepped in. I kept eating completely ignoring all of them. Not that i had any intention to; its just, my hungry self couldn't be controlled at the moment.
"Hamna, are you with us?", Hafsa waved a hand in front of me. I looked up and saw all of them staring at me. "What?" i said with my mouth full.
"You're going to college soon", Hafsa repeated. I gave her a cold smile and went back to my food.
"You're going to be a freshman; only this time its a "college" freshman", she said excitedly, using her fingers to quote the word college.
"Mhmm", i said. It wasn't just the hunger that was keeping me from being blunt and happy; it was the existence of Maryam at the table. She didn't do anything at all, but her name reminded me of Maryan. Maryan never gave me anything but pain and tears. It was because of her we moved to new york and i had to sleep on that fragile bed last night. It was because of her i had to leave my friends, my hometown, my comfortable room behind. Dylan was never the reason. If Maryan hadn't convinced me to be so nice and sweet towards him, i would have never ended this way. I hated Maryan. And i just wish i could give her something she deserves.
When Dylan and his gang took me into the freaky looking warehouse, i couldn't keep up with what was going on. 3 seconds later, i was tied up to a chair, with only a bulb above me. The two other men had left for another room - while Dylan got a chair and sat in front of me, observing my expressions. I had no idea what to say or do anymore. I couldn't believe i was tricked into something so horrible. I really shouldn't have come with him.
*FlashBack*
I sat stiff, staring at him. He had an evil smile stamped on his face. My both arms were tied behind my back and it was starting to hurt.
"Why did you do this?", i blurted out loud. His smile turned into one of those evil laughs. I stared at him in an awe. I had no idea he would turn out to be such a rebel.
"Hamna... darling. You're too innocent", he said and walked away, leaving me in the dim room. I was scared and on top of all that: i regretted my decision. I did. My prayer was not answered.
I prayed to Allah.
"Oh Allah! There is no God but you. May you be exalted. I was among the wrong doers."
I felt a tear roll down my cheek as i finished up the dua (prayer). My Lord is ever-forgiving and most merciful. I knew he will help me out of this. The doors of mercy never close in his court. I believed in his grace - and i knew that whatever happened, Allah definitely had or has something planned for me. Something better. Indeed, he is the best of the planners.
I sat there for about an hour, before i finally decided to do something about the situation. I looked around but there was nothing that i could use to escape. The rope was tight and was roughly leaving marks on my wrists. I jiggled my hands to see if that would help, but it didn't. I decided to give up. Just as i did, i realized the chair was made of metal. Sharp metal. And the edges could easily be used for a knife or a saw in the future. I bought my both hands to side of the chair, and started rubbing the hard ropes on the edge. I rubbed it until i could see small threads appearing. I continued doing this for about 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of struggle, Alhumdulillah (Thank God), i successfuly had freed one of my hands. And then i quickly untied the other rest and stood up as quietly as possible.
I walked quietly and peeked inside the room Dylan walked in. I heard voices but i could see no one. Between all those men, i could hear a woman's voice. I was surprised at how familiar it sounded but right now, i had other plans. I went up to the so called door and tried opening it without a sound, but life isn't that easy. I had to be punished for what i had done. The lock fell down with a loud and heavy sound. The people in the room quieted down and someone was walking. I quickly opened the door and ran outside in the bushy path. Just as i thought i was about to escape, some strong hangs grabbed mine and pulled me towards them. It wasn't Dylan's grip. It was lighter than that; but stronger than mine.
I turned around and stayed as i was. I couldn't believe at what i saw. My mouth stayed open as i kept staring at the person. Either were my eyes were playing a trick with me, or maybe this was all real. It was real.
"Surpise!", Maryan spoke, pretending to be the same old polite self of hers. Except right now, it was all fake. It had been; all along.
"Maryan?" i stuttered on my words. It was like i could finally control myself. All through this time, i felt like i was being controlled. And that i had no authority over myself whatsoever.
"What are you doing here?", i asked her.
"Chilling", she smirked. I stared at her. Was she also... ? No no no! It cant be. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.
"Lets escape together; come on", i said, grabbing her hand, but she pulled it back. "You fool", she began.
"Im not here to escape with you. Im here to sell you. Right after sunrise, we will be sending you to New jersey from where you'll be taken to North carolina and then finally to the deserts of Africa. There, you'll meet some people. If they dont treat you right, dont worry. Its only because they're paid to do that", she finished with a snort.
I couldn't believe my ears. I had been used. I had been tricked.
In that split second, i dont know what happened, but the next thing i knew, i was running through that rough path and towards the main road. I heard Maryan shout from behind and heard footsteps behind me. My pace got faster but it wasn't very easy to run on the rusty road. I could see no road in the distance but i knew it was here somewhere. The people behind had lost track of me, so it was safer to slow down a bit. If it wasn't for my sinful mind, i would be in my bed right now, sleeping comfortably. After running for 10 minutes, i could finally see a road through the branches of the trees. I stopped between the trees to catch my breathe. My left side had started to hurt and i could barely breathe. My feet had scratches all over, since i was wearing my slippers. I started to tear up at the thought that i was completely helpless at the moment. I fixed my Hijab and started walking again. Lucky for me, the road was only 2 or 3 feet away. When i reached the main road, i saw nothing but signal lights flashing. I started walking to my house. I knew i was a long way from it but atleast i'll get there by morning. Hopefully.
*FlashBack Over*
"And just use this to call. And remember, no friendships. Got it?", my mom said, tucking her cellphone in my messenger bag. I rolled my eyes.
"Mami, im all grown up now", i said. She looked at me. "Its only been a year honey."
"Two years", i corrected her. She shook her head lightly and smiled. My dad had submitted my application for college about two months ago. They had told him classes with be starting in two months and so today marked the end of those two months. My parents were still scared about the incident two years back. I was, too. I was still surprised that they were letting me go outside of my house for education. But i guess maybe it was because they dont have a homeschool option for college studies. I didn't want to make any more mistakes. I just wanted to do everything my parents had told me to do, because i knew this was better for me.
My dad dropped me off at my college at 9 am sharp. Classes were supposed to start at 9:30.
"Assalamualaikum Baba", i waved him goodbye and walked right into the campus. The place was huge. It had a huge garden, where students were busy in chatting, working or just simply sitting. I was nervous because i knew one of them is going to try and be my friend and i didn't want any kind of social interaction.
As i walked into the building, i saw spiral stair cases and numerous doors lined up, all leading to a different class. I had to go to the main office first and talk to them about my schedule. There was no door that was leading to the office. I had to get a help. But that meant social interaction. And i had to avoid it; under all circumstances. But i couldn't stand here all day. Just then i saw a guy, probably a year or two older than me, walking down the stairs.
"Excuse me", i said, as politely as i could.
The guy turned around and smiled. He had black slightly spiked-up hair and brown eyes. He looked somewhat American - despite his brown eyes.
"Yes?", he said coming up to me.
"Could you please tell me where the main office is?", i said quietly. He looked at me.
"Im new here. Today's my first day", i said, reading his expressions.
"Oh. Of course. Just follow me", he said, walking up the same stairs he was just coming down from.
"Im Zayd, by the way", he said while climbing the stairs. His backpack was hanging on his right shoulder. "Hamna", i smiled. He smiled back.
"We're here", he said, walking in front of a door and pointing at it. The word "office" was written in bold letters just above its door.
"Thankyou", i said. He smiled. "No problem. Just ask me if you have trouble with anything else", he said and walked down the stairs. I waited for him to go so that i could walk in the office. He was gone in less than a minute - and so then i walked inside, praying and hoping to impress them.
*FlashBack*
I guess it was my lucky day; aside from what had happened earlier. I found a convenient store after walking about 4 or 5 miles. Inside, sat an old man staring at the ceiling. I went inside and asked him if he had a phone so i could call home.
Luckily, he did. I dialed my home number and put the cell on my right ear. It kept ringing and after 5 rings, it went to voicemail. I dialed again.
After 8 attempts of dialing, Hafsa finally answered.
"Hello?" she said in her most sleepy voice ever. I hesitated a bit but then decided this was no time to step back.
"Hafsa? Its me Hamna", i said. My voice started to get heavy since the tears were now on the edge of my eyes. I heard nothing but her breathing.
"Hamna?", she repeated. "Yes. I was kidnapped Hafsa. Please come get me", i lied. There was no way i was going to tell them what i had just done. Her tiredness suddenly faded away.
"Where are you?" she quickly asked. I told her about the place and gave her some signs to look for, if she couldn't find the store. She hung up and so did i. I gave the phone back to the man and thanked him, stepping outside the store to wait for my family. Just then, i heard some footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Maryan and Dylan standing. They both were staring at me coldly. No. I guess cold is definitely not a word to describe their stares. They each got me by my upper arms. I stood up and let them take me away. I was too tired and weak to fight back. I think i had given up.
*FlashBack Over*
After my classes ended, i called my dad and told him to come pick me up. All the other students were leaving in their own cars. I didn't feel bad about not having a car; i felt bad about having such a rough past. I wish i was a bit more mature and thought it all through before taking such a big step.
I sat there on the stairs, waiting for my dad, when i heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Zayd. He smiled and sat down beside me.
"I hope you dont mind me sitting here", he said politely. I smiled. "I dont."
"So, what college did you go to before you came here?" he asked. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were shaking. Why?
"I just moved to new york about 2 months ago. I am a freshman", i said. He nodded lightly. "Cool. Well.. i hope you like it here?", his reply came out as more of a question.
I nodded. "At first i didn't. But now i do. I just hope to blend in here at this new college as well", i laughed lightly. "You will", he smiled. I swear he never stopped smiling. He looked about 3 or 4 years older than me. I didn't know exactly.
"How about you?" i asked him.
"Its my last year in college. Finally", he laughed. I stayed quiet. I wasn't a very big fan of laughing or smiling; not unless i was at home.
"If you dont have a ride, i'll drop you off. Its not a problem for me", he said. I looked at him. There was no smile right now.
I smiled. "That's really kind of you but my dad's already coming", i said. Even if my dad wasn't, i would never ride with him. Some experiences from the past prevented me from doing this.
"Ok", he said and got up. "See you tomorrow then", he smiled again. I smiled back. He gave me that little salute with his two fingers and made his way to his car.
I was not supposed to make any friends but technically i didn't. He came to me. He was not my friend. Just my guide until im used to this environment. But i felt bad about using him; since i knew what it felt like to be used. So will i really become his friend? Goodness. What was i getting myself into? I didn't have any intention to do all that i did in the past. But one thing i was doing: disobeying my parents. I felt sick. Life is so complicated.
-----------------------------------
Chpater 5 yayyy!
Honestly, this is such an exciting chapter for me. A lot of things happen in this one. So yeah...
On the side, is the picture of Zayd and Hamna. Personally i think hamna is so pretty, dont you? lol
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.
And now...
VOTE AND COMMENT AND ADD THIS TO YOUR READING LIST. DO IT NOW... ALLAH'S WATCHING
:D
Im kidding (not really)
AAAANDDDD, On the last chapter i said 8 votes and ill post the next chapter. For this one, lets say atleast 10 votes for the next chapter.
(Reason: I post chapters and nobody comments or votes and i just feel like i wasted my time. But i still write it because i love writing but i also want people's feedbacks. So... yeah.)
That's it for now i guess.
Adios!
Sending love,
BritishHolic