"it hurts so much. you were my first love—it should hurt. i just can't bring myself to the fact that you're not mine anymore. life was so amazing, when i was with you, i was at my best. it wasn't real, nothing was, everything i had; swallowed into a dark spiral of shit. i see you happier each day, while i'm getting worse by the second. i just want it to go away, for it to end, but when it does—you'll no longer be in my life. and i honestly don't want that."
love alyssa