Monica sat outside, flipping through the pages of her journal. Her finger traced over early pictures of her visions. She smiled, thinking of how sacred she was. Monica no longer felt scared by what she could do. Because she had managed to read Atropos' mind. And what it said changed her life.
Monica could control lives.
***
"Time travel?" she said astonished. They were sitting in Bobby's library after Dean had filled Monica in on everything she had missed. Eve had been released from Purgatory, the home of all supernatural monsters. Crowley had used Samuel to find a way to open Purgatory and now they needed a way to stop her.
"So you want to go to 1861 and find the man who made this" she said, holding up the Colt. Bobby had found Samuel Colt's journal where it said he'd killed a phoenix. Dean, Sam and Bobby all seemed convinced that it's ashes would kill Eve.
"Pretty much. We need Cas to send us there" he said as Sam and Dean started getting ready.
"I better pack...Again" she said, giving Sam a smile.
As she folded clothes into her backpack, her mind went back to her time away with Sam.
"You know I didn't have you as a Stanford guy" Monica says, Sam's arm around her waist. Sam smiles as they walk down the street. Hooked in on arm is a shopping bag with food and ahead of them was the park. She looks at the small crease between his eyes as he squints in the sunlight and kisses his cheek.
"What was that for?" he asks, looking at her with a huge grin.
"Hey, Cas is here" Sam said, snapping Monica out of her daydream. She looked up to see Sam leaning in the doorway and smiled.
"Hey you" she said getting up. In the back of her mind she knew she should be angry with Castiel for ...well, everything. But her mind reminded her that she had left Sam and she wasn't there when he'd scratched 'the wall' in his mind. She took his hand and squeezed it slightly.
"You okay? " he asked. She nodded and slung her backpack over her shoulders.
"Ride like the wind, Bullseye!"she teased as he put an arm as they headed downstairs.
The three of them stood in the yard of Bobby's car. Monica could see that Dean had parked Mia's red car out of sight but it still reminded her that she'd caused the witch's death and that Crowley was out to get her for some reason.
"So how will this work?" she said, turning to Dean. He was the only one out of three that had time travelled before, as weird as it seemed. Monica had learned quickly that almost everything was weird.
"Its pretty simple: Cas zaps us to the date on the journal and we find Samuel Colt" Dean said quickly.
"About your plan: you only have 24 hours" Cas said flatly. Monica and Dean shared shocked looks as Sam did a double take.
"What? Why?" Sam asked incredulous.
"Well the answer to your question can best be answered by a series of partial differential equations..."Cas started.
"Aim lower" Bobby grumbled.
"Heaven's watching me, watching all of us. I can only give you a limited time to get what you need and get out. Got it? Good" he said before snapping he fingers.
The first thing that Monica noticed was the dust. It was everywhere, coating the weeds, dusting her skin and hair. She squinted and saw a town nearby. Taking her phone out she sighed.
"No service" she said. Sam nodded in agreement, holding up his phone. Dean held the gate open as Monica climbed over it. Turning she smirked as Sam stood in front of her.
"What?" Sam asked as Dean quickly sidestepped around Sam. She tried to stifle a laugh as she pointed to Sam's feet.
"Oh, damn it. Come one" he said as he took his foot out of the pile of horse crap he'd stepped in. Monica glanced at Sam's grumpy expression and chuckled.
"You know what that is?" Dean asked with a grin on his face. Monica managed to compose herself and look at Sam with a straight face.
"Yeah, its horse sh-" she started before Dean cut her off excitedly.
"Authenticity!" he said before striding ahead. She looked at Sam happily and took his head.
"Welcome to the Wild West" she said before the two followed Dean.
They had caught up to Dean as they entered the town. It was as if they'd walked into a movie or picture, everything looked surreal. The men wore pistols in holsters around their belt and wide hats on their long straggly hair. And the woman....wore dresses and skirts, whilst she wore jeans, a shirt and a jacket. Quickly she pulled Dean and Sam into a corner behind a building.
"What?Did you see something?" Sam asked. Dean was too busy looking at a man stop his horse at the salon. She snapped her fingers at him, getting his attention.
"You see those women out there, they're wearing dresses. And we still look like we're in the twenty-first century!" she said. Dean looked around before pointing to a building slightly out of the town.
"We are not dressing like these people" Sam complained. Monica nudged him and smiled.
"C'Mon live a little" she said as she set off running towards the house.
Monica shimmed the door open and entered with Sam and Dean behind her. She left them to find the bedroom and close the door. There was only a few dresses so she picked a cream floral dress.
After thirty minutes she finally left the room and saw Sam sitting at the table alone.
"Where's Dean?" she asked. Sam looked up, about to answer. Only he didn't.
"You look..." he started. She looked down at the dress and smiled.
"!Ridiculous, I know. But unfortunately for me woman wearing trousers isn't in style right now" she said. Sam smiled and together they left through the backdoor.
This time as they walked through the town, Monica didn't receive as many weird glances. She swiped a stray hat and gave it to Sam.
" I'm not wearing that" he said about to give it back, but she shook her head.
"You'll regret it when your face gets sunburn" she said before they reached the local post office. Lifting the heavy skirts of her dress, Monica pushed the door open with her hip. Inside the shop it was cooler which was a relief to her. She had no idea how the other women managed to walk around all day in tons of fabric. She saw a woman nearby and walked up to her.
"Excuse me" she asked. The woman turned to Monica and smiled warmly.
"Howdy," she said offering a hand. Monica shook it and saw Sam talking to the shopkeeper.
"Hi...I mean, hello.I'm looking for someone, I was wondering if you could help" she said. The woman nodded.
"Of course. What's the name?" she asked. Monica glanced at Sam and stepped closer.
"A man called Samuel Colt. Do you know him?" she said. The woman's face hardened as she drew her bag closer to herself.
"You don't want to go lookin' for man like Samuel...he's just a recluse, nothin' special" she said. Monica shook her head, fiddling with the trim on her dress.
"I can handle him, at least tell me if he's in town" Monica pressed. The woman tucked some dark hair into her bonnet before sighing.
"Folks are saying he's building a railroad about 20 miles out.. All that's out there is dirt and native, why he wants the area so bad is beyond the likes of me" she said before walking away. Monica walked to Sam who was waiting by the door. They stepped outside, narrowly missing a man on horseback.
"He's building a railway out in the middle of nowhere, sound familiar" she said. Sam nodded
"The Gate to Hell, he's building the Devil Trap" Sam said before rolling his eyes. Looking in Sam's direction, she saw Dean beckon them to the salon. She smirked, knowing Sam didn't enjoy their trip back in time.
Taking his hand, she pulled him along.
"Come on, it'll be fun"she said. Meeting Dean at the entrance they started walking up the steps. Monica looked back behind her at the busy square.
"Monica?"Sam asked, touching her arm. She turned to him and blinked.
"Sorry, I thought I'd seen someone" she said. She followed him inside, the feeling of eyes on her lingering.
Inside, Monica wrinkled at the strong smell of rot and stale alcohol. She picked up her skirts and found a seat in the corner. She watches Sam and Dean walk to the bar. Looking around, she made sure no one was watching before she focused on the man in front of her. Closing her eyes, she focused on what was inside his mind.
He had been happy, not always a lonely alcoholic. He had a beautiful wife and son, until he was beaten up by a group of older boys. She could feel the hatred and pain bubbling inside him. The loss of his son then his wife running away chipped away at his inside. She saw it all in pictures, like the film of a camera. Monica had quickly figured out that to change it, she needed to remove a certain 'picture' from the person's mind.
It wasn't as easy as it seemed; holding these pictures was like holding water. It took great amounts of energy to grasp them long enough to change things. After a few minutes she managed to get a firm hold on it. She could feel her head pounding with the exertion.
Finally she could feel her mind controlling and swapping. It felt overwhelming, the amount of untouched power inside her, just waiting for her to use it. The man's son stayed behind to talk to his teacher instead of leaving with the rest where he'd get ambushed and dragged away by older children. She saw he man come collect his son, the two walking towards a small but pretty house. She saw the son alive instead of dead, the man happy instead of depressed.
Monica opened her eyes, her head swaying slightly. The decor of the salon had changed completely. Instead of shabby, it was lavishly decorated and quite fancy with its tables polished instead of stained. She spotted Sam and Dean still at the bar, only Sam wasn't wearing the hat she'd given him. Getting up, she moved to get to them when there was a scream.
She glanced at Sam and Dean once before rushing towards the staircase. They all raced for the second door, Dean kicking it open. Inside there was a girl in very little shaking in fright. She ran towards them and half hid behind Monica.
"Oh lord, it was him....he killed the Judge!"she stammered through heavy breaths. Monica turned away from the burnt body and took the woman by the shoulders.
"..Darla, calm down. Who killed him?"she asked as others started gathering around. Darla looked around at the crowd before drawing herself up.
"It was Elias, his ghost killed the Judge. I saw it with my very own eyes"she said firmly. Monica frowned, looking at Dean.
They'd seen Elias die when they arrived.
*****
Monica sat crossed legged on Sam's bed. Without any technology Sam couldn't look at lore online to help with their case, but Dean seemed to have a theory.
"Elias? You think he's the Phoenix!" Sam said, his eyebrows raised in skepticism. Dean nodded.
"He has to be, how else could he be alive. And don't tell me he's a ghost, I just know he isn't"Dean snapped when Sam tried to argue back. Sam rolled his eyes and glanced at her.
"You okay?"he asked. She looked up from her lap and nodded.
"I'm fine"she said, the two words well used parts of her vocabulary.
Her hair felt light and frizzy against her neck, reminding her of their family holiday to Rome. There had been a constant sweltering heat that didn't cease as night came. She remembered all of them sitting out on the veranda of her uncle's villa, the soft wild blowing her mothers golden curls and sifting through her dark hair. They had told stories and laughed, they had been happy.
All of that was gone, and it hurt so much. Sometimes it was overwhelming and sometimes it was numbing. But she kept it tucked away. Sam and Dean had lost their family too and they never broke down or cried themselves to sleep. She had to convince herself she could take it, even though she couldn't.
Only now she had the power to change things. Now she could go back, with enough strength, and make things right. The possibility of everything being the way it had been was intoxicating, it disrupted her waking hours and haunted her dreams.
"Monica" Dean repeated, frowning slightly. She snapped out of her trance and looked at the brothers.
"Um.. sorry I spaced out for a moment...I should be going to bed" she mumbled getting up. She could feel them both watch her as she closed the door. Entering her room, Monica closed the door and lay back on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. The room smelt of straw and dust and unfamiliarity. Closing her eyes, she tried to get a few minutes rest.
The next morning, Monica looked at her watch and groaned. She dipped in and out of sleep, constantly getting up, walking around and lying back down again. Her whole body was shivering in feverish energy yet she felt exhausted. Tying up her laces there was a knock on the door. She quickly pulled her long hair into a pony tail, giving herself a mental note to at least get a trim before opening the door.
"Dean...where's Sam?" she asked as she closed the door to her room. Dean had his arms crossed and a worried look in his eyes.
"Went after Samuel. You gonna tell me what's up now?" he countered. She attempted moving past him to avoid the question but he caught her arm, holding it tightly.
"There's...nothing going on. I'm fine" she repeated. He shook his head but let go of her arm.
"If there's something wrong you need to tell us...what if something happened to you" he said as they left the boarding house.
"I know that-" she started before Dean stopped, turning her to face him properly.
"No I don't think you do, Monica. We're a team, a family. We look out for each other, which means you tell me when something's up!" he said.
"My family is dead..." she said before exhaling deeply. Dean sighed and put an arm on her shoulder.
"You keep on going on, Monica, or the pain you feel will destroy you" he said softly. She nodded, finding it hard to swallow. They didn't say anything else as they entered the salon. She knew Dean wanted to form a group to go after Elias. She hung back as he walked up to the bartender. He took one look at Dean and nodded.
"You there,...Dean is it. Here, take this" he said, handing Dean a metallic object. Monica raised her eyebrows at Dean's grin as he pinned the badge on his shirt.
"How are you the Sheriff?" she asked as she walked up to him.
"The previous one's dead" he stated simply. Monica smiles before turning. Looking outside , she saw a small boy standing by the window.
"I'll be back" she muttered to Dean before leaving the salon. Outside, the sun battered down on the ground, sweat beading on her forehead. Wiping her brow, Monica saw the boy run round the corner and follow him.
She stopped in the alley between two buildings, the shade of the houses cool and damp. She looked around but could see no one.
"Miss?" a voice said. In front of her was a boy. To be exact, it was the son of the man she'd seen in the salon. He looked at her carefully, the bruises and cuts stark against his pale skin.
"What do you want?" she said, disguising the tremble in her voice. He looked at her with a small smile.
"You don't know what you're doing, do you?" he said, mockingly. She gripped her knife and pointed it at him.
"How do you know me? You've never met me, not really" she said. He stepped forward and her knife flew out of her hand.
"You changed me. You changed the past and you have no idea what happens when someone like you does that" he said slowly. She looked in the eyes and exhaled, her breath a puff of cloud.
"Someone like a Fate? I made your father happy" she stated, pushing him slightly. It felt like plunging her hands into ice, numbing her fingers to the core.
"You don't know what you're doing" he repeated. Hi voice showed no emotion which was ticking away at Monica. She didn't know what she was capable of, where the limit lay, where she could draw the line. It felt powerful and dangerous. It scared her.
"Leave me alone. I need to be able to do this, so I can make things right. I'm the only one who can do that!" she said, her voice rising, threatening hysteria. But the boy was gone and the sweltering heat had returned. But the guilt that was pulling her under remained.
Returning to the salon, Monica couldn't find Dean. The bartender kindly pointed her in the direction of the the Sheriff's station. She started heading for the building at the top of the town, her boots dusted with dirt. By the railing of the Sheriff's office, two horses were tied to the wooden railing.
"Race you to that tree!" Amber shouted. She watched her sister fly forward on her horse. Monica kicked at the sides of Olivia and together they raced after Amber. The wind was soft, gently gliding over the silvery grey coat of Monica's trusted horse. She looked back, seeing the faint shapes of her parents picnicking. These moments were what she loved, the peaceful holidays, weekends away or lazy days in when they were happy.
She zoomed past Amber and reached the giant oak. Leaving Olivia near a shady and grassy patch, she looked towards the forest. Her fingers danced over wild flowers, picking up stones and examining leaves. Suddenly someone whirled her around, laughing.
"You cheater!" Amber exclaimed. They chased each other before lying under the shade. She fiddled with Amber's blonde hair, the Sun glinting off of it, highlights of pale gold.
"I love you Amber" she said. Amber sat up and smiled.
"Of course you do, we're sister's. We look out for each other and protect each other" Amber said, puling her into a hug. A hug that smelt of warmth, patchouli and
Monica snapped out of her reverie at the sound of gunfire. Dean. She didn't think, just moved, flinging the door open. She was just in time to see Elias run from the back door, and Dean on the floor, clutching his chest. She ran to him, pulling him onto her lap. Already his shirt was heavily stained red from the multiple gunshots.
"Oh God, no,no no! Don't-don't do this to me. Wake up!" she said shaking him. He didn't move.
"Okay, okay. Breathe. Just focus" she said to herself, wiping the steady stream of tears. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her heart. It came to her violently, a fast forward video of Dean's life, light and dark clashing against each other like a storm. She could feel them all slipping away; disappearing like steam. She clawed through memories before she pulled at the right one. Her movements frantic.
"Please let this work" she said to herself before they were enveloped in bright light.
"How are you the Sheriff?" she asked as she walked up to him.
"The previous one's dead" he stated simply. Monica smiles before turning. Looking outside, she saw a small boy standing by the window. She blinked before shaking her head. Instead Dean took out his gun and checked it for bullets.
"We need to find the Deputy" he said. She nodded, her hand's shaking in anticipation.
"Do you think this guy is targeting the police?"she asked. Dean nodded as they started jogging towards the Sheriff's office. There were no horses tied up outside. Dean led them to the back window and smashed it in.
She dropped their weapons in as Dean took off his coat. Laying it on the broken edge, he lifted her up so she could climb in. Inside the office was empty. She curled her hand into a fist and knocked the lock off the door. It swung open and Dean sneaked inside, closing the door behind him.
"Deputy's out in the main area" she whispered. He held his shotgun and walked forward.
"What do you want!" the Deputy said, aiming a gun at Dean. Monica's heart skipped a beat before Dean showed him his Sheriff badge.
"I'm you're new boss...why you packing?" Dean asked. Monica stepped into the room to see the Deputy with a suitcase.
"I-I'm leaving...Sir" he said, his face pale with fear. Monica knew Elias was coming.
"The cell, Dean" she said. He nodded and took the Deputy by the arm, almost pushing him into the cell and locking the door.
"I need you to stay here" Dean said to the wide-eyed Deputy.
"And let that freak get me, you outta your mind!" he exclaimed. They had no time to talk as Elias walked in. Monica held up her gun at point blank range.
"You're gonna open that cell" Elias demanded. Dean smirked and clicked off the safety of his gun.
"Who's gonna make me?You?" Dean said before he threw a large iron nail at him. It struck Elias in the leg, glowing in his wound. The man staggered to the floor in shock as Monica stepped back slightly.
"H-h-how?" Elias asked. The Deputy looked ready to drop in a dead faint. It all clicked together in front of them.
"You're a Phoenix, that's why you couldn't escape the hanging and you can't get to the Deputy" she said crouching down to his level. Elias' eyes glittered with fear.
"Hunters" he said as Monica stood up.
"That's right. Unfortunately we have to kill you. Kinda need your remains, nothing personal" Dean said. Elias paused before moving with lightening speed. Grabbing a gun from a holster on the wall, he shot the Deputy between the bars.
Monica could feel panic fill up inside her and fired at his head. He staggered back and she took the opportunity to grab Dean and run. They dashed out the way they came and back into the busy square. Monica was breathing hard as they paused nearby a shop.
"You okay?" Dean asked, putting a hand on her back. She only nodded before standing straight again.
"We need to get out of here" she said as they saw Elias appear outside the Sheriff's place. Grabbing a horse she hauled herself up.
"I'm not getting on that" Dean said. She rolled her eyes and offered him and hand.
"I'd hold on tight" she said as Dean sat behind her. He obliged and she kicked forward.
***
They met Sam just outside of town, tired and agitated.
"What took you so long?" Dean complained as Sam handed him the Colt.
"Long story..what happened to you?" he said as he hugged Monica. She rested her head on his shoulder, relaxing for a moment before letting go.
"Long story, we need to find Elias" she said. Dean looked her, she could tel he already had a plan.
"Okay this is what we do," Dean began.
Idyllically a bundle of tumbleweed rolled through the square and Elias walked forward. Most of the townsmen had guns pointed at him but no one of them dared to shoot. Monica hid in the shadow of the house and watched.
"Where's your precious Sheriff now, huh? Where's the justice for me!" he said. She bit her lip, hoping Dean's plan would work.
"Right here" Dean shouted, walking forward. His hand rested at the pistol in his holster as he stepped forward. Elias grinned and shook his head.
"You can't kill me, you know that" he said. Dean nodded before drawing out his gun just as Elias does. Elias shoots straight away while Dean pauses before he aims and fires straight at Elias. Monica watches the iron bullet enter Elias' head and his body drop to the ground.
"Sam!" she called as they race forward to reach Elias' ashes.
"Quickly" "Quickly" a voice said.
But not quick enough. In a blink they were back at Bobby's. As though it had all been a dream.
Monica blinked before looking at Cas. Sam looked angry but Dean looked murderous.
"We were so close Cas!" he shouted, waving the empty bottle in front of him.
"I know , there's nothing I can do about it now" he said before looking at Monica. She looked away and dropped her bag.
"I don't know about you guys, but boy do I need a shower" she said, about to leave.
"Monica, may I talk to you" Castiel said, stepping forward. She turned to him and bit her lip.
"What do you wanna say, I really want a shower so could it wait till after?" she said. He shook his head. She nodded slowly and followed Cas out the back. Leaning against the porch railing, she looked at Cas.
"What's up?" she asked, brightly. Her voice sounded strained and tense and she knew instantly that he knew. Standing up, Monica looked away from him.
"You should just say it" she said. Cas shook his head and turned her attention to the garage.
"I can show you instead" he said, stepping aside.
When she'd left, Mia's car had been perfectly parked in the garage, gleaming scarlet in the sun. Now the garage was empty, the only bare space in the cluttered backyard. Mia had disappeared, never to be heard of. Ever. She turned to face Castiel with trembling fists.
"What else have I changed?"
Author's Note:
really hope you like this chapter as I spent a long time on it ( don't worry if it's shit, i already know that) and please vote and comment