~Author's Note~
Happy Thanksgiving! Oh and my birthday is in 3 days! (Sunday) I turn 18 so yay! (: Anyways, enjoy this chapter! xoxo
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-Niall's POV-
It was thanksgiving. Great. Just what I fucking need right now.
"Niiiiiaaaaalllll!" I hear Harry yell from downstairs. "Time to eat!!"
Shit. I gotta eat now. I sigh and collect myself as I head downstairs to the dinning room, where only Zayn was so far.
"Where is everyone?"
"They're in the kitchen getting their plates filled. Here's yours Ni." Zayn hands me a plate from the table.
"Thanks Z," I smile. He smiles back. I head into the kitchen and see the boys putting food on their plates. There's mountains of it.
"Woah, who made all the food?" I asked.
"Props to daddy." Louis smiled. He was talking about Liam.
"Yeah great job Li." I said.
"Thanks guys." He smiled brightly.
When they all got their food I was next and I just put a little of everything on my plate. Harry noticed and frowned a bit.
"That's all you're having Niall?"
"Um, yeah."
"But you usually eat more then that Niall." Louis jumped in.
I didn't want anyone catching on, so I just decided to put more food on my plate.
"Yeah, okay, you're right." I said, taking a heaping of mashed potatoes on my plate. They boys smiled at me. We finished and went into the dinning room to eat.
We sat down and starting eating. It was a little more quiet than usual when it was thanksgiving. "So... whats everyone up to?" I ask, breaking the silence.
"Nothing much really." Liam said looking over to Louis.
"Yep, not much." Louis glanced back at Liam. What's with them two? I shrugged it off and we all finished eating. I ate fast. I finished first, like I planned.
I got up from the table and went to go put my plate in the sink. "Thanks guys." I said, walking towards the stairs.
"Hey, where you goin?" Zayn asked.
"Uh, upstairs...."
"Oh, okay..."
I pressed my lips together and went back upstairs. I shut the door and lock it and head into the bathroom. I turn the sink on and go over to the toliet and lift the seat up.
I take two fingers and put them to the back of my throat. I start gagging and finally throw up into the toliet bowl. Relief.
I go until there is nothing left and then I flush and close the lid. I go to the sink and rinse my mouth. I turn off the water and head into my room. I fall on my bed and let out a groan.
I'm so disgusting and ashamed. I get up and go to my drawer and pull out a silver blade. A routine I do often. I cut all over my thighs and clean up. There was quite a bit of blood. I had to be careful.
I'm pathetic.
Why am I even still alive?
You tell me that you're sad and lost your way
You tell me that your tears are here to stay
But I know you're only hiding
And I just wanna see you
You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain
And I can see your head is held in shame,
But I just wanna see you smile again
See you smile again
But don't burn out
Even if you scream and shout
It'll come back to you
And I'll be here for you
Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down on you
We will find a way through the dark
I wish that I could take you to the stars
I'd never let you fall and break your heart
And if you wanna cry or fall apart
I'll be there to hold you
You tell me that you hurt, it's all in vain
But I can see your heart can love again
And I remember you laughing
So let's just laugh again
But don't burn out
Even if you scream and shout
It'll come back to you, back to you
Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down on you
We will find a way through the dark
And you don't need
You don't need to worry
And you will see it's easy to be loved
I know you wanna be loved
Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love
Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down on you
We will find a way through the dark
Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down
We will find a way through the dark
----
*A few days later*
-Kayla's POV-
I knock on the door. I wait and suddenly Harry opens the door.
"Hazzy!" I give him a hug.
"Hey Kaylaaaa" He smiled. "What brings you here?" He asks.
"Oh, so you don't want me here? I see how it is." I turn to walk out the door but he stops me.
"No of course not love. I'm messin with you." He cheekly smiles.
"That's what I thought." I smirk. He closes the door and we head into the living room.
"Okay seriously though, what brings you here?"
"Oh um I actually wanted to talk to Niall. Is he in?" I asked Harry.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact we just got done eating lunch. He went upstairs to take a nap he said."
"Oh, okay. Maybe I should come back another time." I bit my lip nervously.
"Don't be silly. He just went up there. He probably isn't even in bed yet ahah."
"Oh okay, I'll just be a little bit anyway."
"M'sure it's fine love. Go," He tells me and I smile at him and head towards the stairs. I walk up them and get to Niall's door.
I knock but there is no answer, I repeat this action, and still, nothing. "Niall, it's Kayla, are you decent?"
Still no answer. I decide to just walk in slowly. But there's no sign of him. But then I notice the bathroom door is closed, I decide not to bother him right now, because he's in the bathroom.
I can hear the water running. I'm about to walk back downstairs until I hear gagging noises and retching. I frown and my eyebrows slant.
I close his door and walk towards the bathroom quietly. All I can hear is the faucet running and the sound of someone throwing up.
Is he sick? Harry didn't mention that. Hmm.
I chose to wait for him to get done so I sat on his bed, patiently. After about 10 minutes, I finally hear the toliet flush and then the sink turn off about a minute later.
Then the door opens and I see Niall, and he see's me. His eyes widen and his face is dead pale. I swallow a lump in my throat and sit up steadly.
"K-Kayla. W-What are you doing here?" He stutters a bit, seeming nervous.
"Hey Niall, I'm, um, wanted to talk, I don't know. Just though I'd s-stop over." Now he was making me nervous.
"Oh, um okay." He walks to his dresser.
I broke the silence. "Are you sick Niall? I'm sorry, I just leave you be then."
"No, I'm n-not. It's fine Kayla. I'm glad you came."
"Really?" I did a small hopefully smile. He nodded.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." I said to him. "How is it between you and Louis?"
"I'm okay," He mumbled. "And nothing has really changed I guess." He shrugged.
"Oh, I'm sorry." I frowned.
"S'fine," He said blankly. "So how are you?"
"I'm pretty good actually."
"That's good!" He flashed me a small smile. But then I was thinking. If he wasn't sick, then why was he throwing up?
"Niall?"
"Mhm?" He looked towards me.
"Um, if you're not sick, then why were you throwing up?"
His eyes widened and I seen him swallow a lump in his throat.
And all I could think about is,
could it really be that bad?
Little did I know, it was worse than I ever thought it would be...