|Vienna|
It was shivering cold in Santa Ana that afternoon. I was taking a few candid shots of the band roaming the streets, and I was mentally cursing myself for leaving my jacket in the bus. I hadn't expected it to be that cold before sun's out.
I tried my best to avoid Van throughout the day. I wished I had forgotten all about what happened in Sacramento, but sadly, I remembered them all. The way our lips crashed, our bodies moving together. I really thought his mind was synchronized with mine but even in his hazy state, he had pushed me away. That was a clear sign to me that we have taken things too far.
It was supposed to be a friendly gesture - him helping an emotional friend or colleague who just had a meltdown.
But I've crossed the line. Sure, I was drunk, but, that's no excuse. I need to refrain myself from him. Van was my greatest temptation. I tried to deny it, but I was defeated. Maybe I liked Van a little too much. I just couldn't contain myself around him. He looked at me like I mattered the most to him, like he truly cared about me.
We were both vulnerable - getting out of a relationship was rough and finding comfort from somebody else was the easiest way to forget everything.
I was so mad at myself that I could barely speak anything to him anymore. I bet he thought I was just some looney, pathetic person with never ending issues.
But, my strategy worked. I managed to avoid talking to him all afternoon, thanks to the endless interviews they had in between. I made sure I stood as far away as possible from him whenever we were in a same space. And I was getting the hang of paying no mind to him.
But he kept on reappearing in my mind. I wished I could stop thinking about him.
Once I was done taking shots of the boys, they then went inside a thrift shop, looking for some rare findings, Benji told me. I took the little time I have to roam the streets all by myself. The sky was getting darker and it was getting colder by the minute.
I found a Foto-Mex store along the street and decided to pop by so I could develop some of the films I took throughout the tour. I just couldn't believe that we were nearing the end of the tour.
I waited by the counter and waited for my film to be developed. I took out my phone and found a few notifications from Instagram - must be the Catfish fans. My profile were usually filled with shots I took while at work, so it was basically filled with shots of Catfish and The Bottlemen at the time. Fans were admiring the boys so much, especially Van. Well, no surprise there.
I tapped on the notification icon and found myself a new follower.
vanstagrammccannstagram is now following you!
I chuckled when I saw the name because I knew it was just some fan using Van's name on their profile. A few seconds later, another notification came in, saying that I have a new Direct Message.
From: vanstagrammccannstagram
Hey ya! Can't avoid me here, now, can you? X
I quickly swallowed. It couldn't be him. He had no Instagram account. Another message then came in.
From: vanstagrammccannstagram
It says SEEN. You can't ignore me forever, love.
Groaning, I shoved my phone back into my bag. I had no idea what he wants from me, but I wished he would just leave me alone. I could listen to my phone vibrated, indicating that there were more notifications coming in, but I ignored them all.
"Here you go. All five of them developed. That'll be $125.55," the guy from behind the counter smiled, handing me the negatives and the developed photos. I handed him the money and looked at some of the photos. I was subconsciously smiling to myself when I saw a photo of Van, looking up at my camera, tongue out, while I was taking candids of the band from at the upper deck of our venue at Toronto.
"Did you take these shots? There are really rad," he grinned, putting an abrupt stop to my silly daydream.
"I did. Thank you," I flushed.
"These guys are going to play a gig here tonight, aren't they?" He asked.
"Yeah. At the Constellation Room. You know the band?" I glanced at him.
"Saw them on Letterman. Thought they were cool," he murmured.
"They really are. You should come check them out tonight. It's going to be class... Thanks for this by the way," I gestured at him while chuckling to myself, shaking my head at the word "class". I was beginning to talk like Van and it was not even funny.
My body was shivering as soon as I stepped out of the store. It was so damn cold. I rubbed my palms together and exited the store.
"So are you just going to ignore me all day?" I heard his accent out of nowhere, which startled me.
"Jesus Christ!" I hissed, my body turning as a reaction.
"No, just me, Van McCann," he chuckled. There he was. That blue eyed boy, standing in front of me, making my heart raced a thousand miles per hour.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling slightly annoyed that he was there.
"I followed you here. Can't allow a lady to roam the street on her own," he playfully smiled.
"I don't need a babysitter," I rolled my eyes at him, continued my tracks. He ran up a little so he could join me, and I let out a deep sigh.
"Why are you so mad at me?" He laughed, shaking his head.
"No, I am not," I slyly answered.
"Yes you are. You didn't reply my direct messages on Instagram. I created the account so I could specifically text you. I don't have your number. I remembered you telling Benji your username," he told me, nudging my arm.
I was becoming impatient. I could feel my blood boiling that he didn't want to leave me alone. Had he not remembered what happened last night?
"Leave me alone, Van," I groaned, abruptly stopping my tracks, turning away to the opposite direction and began walking again.
"What's wrong, Vienna? What did I do? Come on, tell me," he pleaded, trying to grab my arm. I shivered immediately at his touch, but I thought it was the weather.
"You're cold," he said, taking off his leather jacket and placed it over my shoulder blades.
"What are you doing, Van?" I deeply exhaled.
"I am lending you my jacket?" He quizzically said.
"No. I mean, why are you always so nice to me?" I finally asked.
"It is wrong to be nice?"
Shaking my head, I wished the ground would just open up and swallow me so I did not have to face his gorgeous face. His eyes were glistening, his lips formed into playful smiles. He was enjoying the fact that I was tormented by him.
"As your colleague, I think you are being too nice," I sternly answered.
"So, do you only see me as a colleague?" He asked, with a frown starting to form on his forehead.
I nodded and continued walking.
"Colleagues don't kiss colleagues," he chuckled.
I was extremely shocked that he had the nerve to say that to me.
"You kissed me first!" I pointed at him, anger washing over me.
"Not last night," he laughed, raising an eyebrow at me. "Colleagues don't touch each other like that, too..."
I stopped walking. I couldn't believe Van had the nerve to embarrassed me like that.
"What do you want, Van?" I asked, feeling washed up by multiple emotions. I was angry, sad, disappointed, embarrassed.
"I want you to tell me that last night meant nothing to you, that's why you acted all weird around me," he murmured.
Blinking, I glanced over at him. He was looking at me warmly, his playful expressions were gone, only the look of admiration and hopefulness in his eyes.
"Why does it matter? You clearly said you couldn't do it last night," I choked up, looking down at my feet.
"Hey, is that what bothering you?" He inched closer towards me, bending down his tall frame a little, lifting my chin up with his finger. Our eyes leveled and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, my stomach doing hundreds of somersaults.
I nodded, barely looking at him because I was just too shy. My cheeks were heating up and my breath felt strained.
"Vienna, I only said it because you were drunk, love. I didn't want you to wake up with regrets, if we decide to take things too far," he lightly brushed my cheek.
"Colleagues don't look at each other like this," I swallowed. His touches were making me flustered.
"Maybe... we are not colleagues. Maybe we are something else," he smiled, stroking my the back of my head.
Shaking my head, I pulled away from him. "This does not make sense," I pointed at the both of us.
"Maybe we do not need to make sense. I don't understand this either, but, I oddly want to be around you all the time, it's weird and I know you feel the same," He swallowed, raking his fingers through his hair, his eyebrows furrowed.
Pursing my lips, I looked at him again. His bright blue eyes bore deep into mine and my heart was thumping louder than ever.
"Maybe," I shrugged. "So, what now?"
"To be honest, I am up for anything," he smiled, putting both his hands in his pockets, suggestively glancing at me.
"I want chinese food," I muttered.
He cocked his head slightly to the side, amused by my answer. "Okay. If it means that we are okay, I am up for it," he laughed.