Chapter Twenty-Nine:
I dont look back at his house. I keep walking, but I dont want to go home, not right now. With tears slowly falling down my face, I made my way towards the park nearby. I would just sit there for a little while then go home, once I felt a little better. I make my way to the park and sit down. I drew my knees up and sighed. What was he doing there? I buried my head in my hands and bit my lip. Cant I just be left alone. The sound of someone sitting down next to me made me lift my head.
“Hey.”
"Hi?" I blinked and wiped my eyes. “What do you want?” I ask.
"Don't cry," he said, wiping a tear away from my cheek.
“What do you want?" I ask again.
"You were crying," he stated simply.
“And?”
"Of course I would come see if you were okay," he said.
“But why?”
He frowned. "Because you are crying? Why wouldn't I?" I look down. His arm wrapped around me and pulled me against his chest. "Don't cry," he whispered. I close my eyes and feel tears roll down my cheeks. He squeezed my shoulder. "Why are you crying?" He asked quietly.
“I dont know what to do now…”
"Where were you going?" He asked. "This park is a little away from where you live."
“I didn’t want to go back home. I went over to Owen's..”
"And?" He pressed.
“He and Erica were walking out of his house together.”
He frowned and looked down at me. "How were they acting?"
“She was smiling.”
He blinked and scratched his chin. "Maybe he told a joke? Did you stay to find out why she was there?"
“He asked me why I was there.”
"And you said?"
“I told him I didn’t know..”
He sighed. "You should have said more to him, Lani. How can he tell you something if you don't bother sticking around?"
“He was with her.”
"And? Who cares about her? You want answers, you get answers, Lani." I squeeze my eyes shut. "Do you know where they were going?" I shake my head. He frowned. "Reckon he'll be home?"
“I dont know.”
"Let's find out. Come on, get up." He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I let him pull me with him. We don't say anything on the way to Owen's house. The short walk to Owen's house, Elliott held my hand the whole time. He was my support, he would be here for me if Owen wasn't, I just knew it.
“El, I…” He cuts me off.
"If here's here, Lani. Talk to him. Find out what you want to know and don't back down," he told me, looking me square in the eye. "Okay?"
I nod. “Okay.” He walked up the porch steps and rang the doorbell. The door opens and Owen is standing in front of us.
"Oh, hey?" He looked unsure as he looked between us about what was going on. "Erm, come in?" Elliott tugs on my hand pulling me inside. "What can I help you with?" Owen asked, his eyes flicking to Elliott then to our hands clasped together.
“You and I...we need to talk.” I say.
"Okay. Sure. And Elliott?" He raised his eyebrow and sat down at the kitchen counter. "Or is he sticking around for the conversation?"
I look over at him. “I'll call you. I promise.”
He nodded but didn't look happy about it. "If anything, call me." I nodded and watched him walk towards the front door. I turn to Owen.
"What do you want to talk about?" He asked, leaning back and raising his eyebrow.
“Us. Everything.”
"Okay. Shoot." He gestured for me to go into the living room. I sat down on the couch and looked at him.
“What's going on? I feel like you want nothing you do with us.” I put my hand on my stomach.
"Of course I want everything to do with you, Lani," he frowned. "Its just.. Complicated."
“How the hell is it complicated?” He gritted his teeth and said nothing. "How is it complicated, Owen? How can we be in a relationship if you don't talk to me?" He says nothing. “I need to know what is going on. If we don't talk we can't have a relationship.”
He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I can't tell you," he said, a unreadable expression on his face.
“So what do we do?”
He sat down and put his head in his hands. "I don't know," I heard him murmur.
“We have to do something.”
"Like what?" He asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
“I don't know but we have to do something because I can't keep being upset like this. Its not healthy.”
He gritted his teeth and muttered something under his breath. I didn't question it, I just wanted answers from him. "If I make you so unhappy, why don't you stay with Elliott? You two are awfully cozy together."
“Owen, he was just being nice, a friend. He saw me at the park crying.”
"And last night?" He looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Normally hugging someone like that doesn't make you just friends."
“What are you talking about?”
"Last night," he said slowly. "I came back to talk and you were in his arms."
“Oh...Owen I was asleep.”
"You weren't asleep when I saw you," he muttered, looking away from me.
“That was you? You scared me. Owen I was scared to death.”
"So you cuddled up to your hero," he nodded. "Okay. I get it. I'm sorry I scared you, Lani, but I told you I was coming back to talk."
“I know you did but I thought you would have called or something. You could have told me it was you, I would have talked to you.” I say.
He rolled his eyes. "I was really going to interrupt your moment with him."
“Owen it wasn't....we fell asleep. Nothing happened.” He shook his head and didn't say anything. I rubbed my eyes to stop any more tears from falling. “I promise nothing happened.”
"Okay," he shrugged. "Believe you."
“This shouldn't be like this...we shouldn't be fighting like this.”
He closed his eyes. "I know. It would be so much easier if-"
"Easier if?" I pressed when I realized he wasn't going to say anything more.
“Please tell me.”
He breathed out deeply through his nose and shook his head quickly. "I can't."
“Why? is it so bad that you really cant tell me?”
"I can't tell you, Lani. Please."
“Whatever it is, its hurting us, all of us.”
"And what about you? You are hurting me by holding hands with Elliott and hugging him, even in your sleep!" He folded his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes.
“He's my friend!”
"He seems more than that!" He shouted, then lowered his voice when I flinched. "He really seems more than that, Lani."
“I..I..” I say. “Well what about Erica?”
He gritted his teeth. "Erica is nothing."
“Then why...?”
"Because she knows the secret about my dad!" He shouted, clenching his fists.
“That's what's going on?”
He dropped down onto the couch and held his head. "She found out about my dad's secret and threatened to spill," he whispered. I sit down next to him and pull him into my arms. I could feel him shaking, I rested my head in the crook of his neck and whispered soothing words.
“It'll be okay." He shook his hand and pulled me against him. I lean into him. “What can I do?”
"Unless Erica doesn't blab, there's nothing you can do," he told me quietly.
“What are you and I going to do? Its only a matter of time before everyone knows.”
He breathed out through his nose and frowned. "Everyone knows you're pregnant?"
“They will once I start to show. I've already had to start wearing different clothes and you know that because you were there when I was shopping.”
He sighed and nodded. "Okay. What are you going to do when people ask?"
“I'm going to tell them the truth.”
He nodded. "Good." He bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling.
“But…are people going to know we're together?” I ask.
He didn't say anything, just rubbed his jaw roughly. "Owen?" I said his name quietly.
“Owen.”
"What am I suppose to do about Erica?" He asked, clenching his jaw.
I rub his back. “I dont know.”
He stood up and walked over to the garden doors. "My mum will be crushed if everyone found out."
“That Erica knows something?”
"That Erica could tell someone if I don't stay with her," he said, meeting my gaze.
“So really all I am is the girl you got pregnant?”
He gritted his teeth and his eyes narrowed. "Of course, Lani. That's all I think of you as!" He said, a sarcastic edge to match his look. I instantly feel like shit.
His face softened. "I didn't mean to shout, Lani. But you don't know what Erica-" he stopped and punched the sliding door, making the glass rattle. "I'm sorry."
“What is she doing Owen?”
"Being her usual bitchy self," he muttered darkly, looking out at the evening sky. I frowned and watched him. What was she doing that caused him to act like this?
I wrap my arms around him. “What is She doing to you?”
He shook his head. "Come on, Owen. Tell me, please?" His arms slowly wrapped around my waist and he tugged me closer to him. "Please?" I tried again.
“What is she doing to you to make you like this?”
He sighed. "She told me if I didn't stay with her, she would tell my dad's secret. And it's not hers to tell! My mum and dad have kept that secret just that, a secret. She hears one bit of their conversation and now she's trying to control me."
“Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something, anything.”
He shook his head. "I should just say no to her, but I can't. I can't risk that for my parents sake. Who knows what she's really like? She could promise not to tell anyone, but when she gets annoyed, she might shout it out." I feel like crying. I wish I could help but I know there isn't anything that I can do. I have you do something. Right now....its taken me until now to realize that I actually love him. I pulled his chin down towards me and kissed him properly, showing him everything I feel for him. His arm wrap around my waist and he pulls me to him kissing me back.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against my lips. I shook my head and just kissed him back, needing to kiss him back. I keep kissing him. I need holiness to know that I love him. Really love him.
"Why are you-" he barely mumbled the question before I was sitting him down on the sofa and kissing him again. I pull him closer and kiss him passionately. When we pulled apart to breath, he lent his forehead against mine. "What brought that on?" He asked barely above a whisper.
“I love you, so much.”
He blinked and looked me in the eye. "Why does it sound like you just realized...?"
Oh no...
Please no...
He sighed and nodded. "You just realised that you actually love me." I couldn't stand to see that hurt look in his eyes. I close my eyes and I feel tears fun down my cheeks. I felt his breath fan across my lips and his pointer finger touch my chin. "Look at me, Lani," he whispered. I lifted my gaze to his. "Do you honestly love me?"
“Yes I do.”
He sighed. "I hate that you didn't honestly mean it when you first told me... but at least now you mean it," he said quietly.
“I'm so, so sorry I didn't mean it the first time.”
He bit the inside of his cheek. "It's okay, I guess..."
I take his hand in mine and squeeze it. “I'm really am sorry.” I say. “I don't blame you if you're upset with me or you hate me.”
He shook his head. "As much as it hurts you didn't mean it, I still love you," he whispered, kissing my cheek.
“I mean it now. I really, really do.”
He pulled me against his chest. "What about Elliott?" He mumbled against my hair.
What about Elliott?
I love him too...
"You still love him, don't you?" He asked, pulling back and looking out the patio doors. I nod. I'll always love Elliott, he is and will always be my first love. He shook his head lightly and I could feel the grip on my waist slowly letting go. What can I say to? Its the truth.
"Lani, if you love him.." he frowned and rubbed his eyes. "Can I get up?" I move to the other side of the couch.
"Lani, I love you, I really do." He told me, a small smile on his face. "But I can't help but feel you are going to leave me for Elliott. You said so yourself that you still love him..." I pull my knees up to my chest. He opened the door and stepped outside, looking up at the sky. I put my head down. I dont know what to do anymore. The sound of water splashing made me get up and walk over to the garden door. Owen was sitting with his feet in the pool, his head in his hands. I walk over to him and sit down.
I rest my head on his shoulder. "Please don't be mad at me," I whispered.
“I'm not Lani-bear.” I rub his back.
"Where does this leave us?" I asked quietly, looking up at the sky.
“I'm sure.” He says. “But what do you want?”
I sighed. "Honestly? I don't know. I want you, but..."
"But?" He pressed, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
“But I'm scared.” I admit. “After finding out about this whole Erica thing, where does that leave us?” I place my hands on my stomach.
He bit his lip and looked at the water droplets coming off his finger. "I don't know where this leaves us," he said honestly. "But I know I want. Do you?" He asked, not even looking at me.
I think about it for a little. “I want you, I want us. I want the three of us to be a family.” I say honestly.
"And Elliott?" He asked, looking straight forward but sparing me a glance every so often.
“I want to be friends with him. He's been a friend to me from the start and I dont want to lose that friendship.”
"What about the love you feel for him?"
“I'll always love him, I cant change that. But it'll change into friendship after awhile.”
"Lani-bear.." he sighed. "What about my love for you then? That never changed to friendship again after I realised I loved you."
“We were friends first, its different.” I tell him. “With Elliott we kind of just went right into dating and skipping being friends. You and I,” I say. “we have a long history together, our bond is stronger and its already become stronger because of this baby.”
He sighed and dropped his head forward. "Okay, true. But say you get fed up of me? You'll leave me for Elliott because you will still have those feelings."
“Owen, it'll be hard yes. But I really want this to all work. I love you and more than anything I want us to be to a family. A real family.” My eyes widened as he slid off the ground and into the pool. "What are you doing?" I asked him, shocked. His head appeared and a small smile was on his face. “Owen, dont you dare!”
He held his hand out. "Come on, Lani-bear," he asked softly. My hand twitched, wanting to grab his hand and let him pull me in, just so I could hug him.
“But its so cold!” He opened his arms wide. My heart thudded, I wanted so badly to pull him to me. I give in and jump in. His small smile widened and he pulled me against his chest.
“Its....cold…” When he nuzzled his face in my neck, my arms wrapped around him and I instantly felt warmer on the inside.
I pull him closer. “Can...we...get...out...and....get...warm...and....dry?” I ask stuttering because I'm cold.
He nodded and pulled me to the side of the pool. "Come on. You can borrow some of my clothes, is that okay?"
“Yeah. Doesn’t bother me.” We walked into his room and he got out a t-shirt and boxers. I bit my lip and pulled on the t-shirt, leaving the boxers on the bed. He comes back into his room dry and changed.
He blinked as he looked over me and stopped. "Were the boxers wrong or something?" He asked, raising his eyebrow and biting his lip.
“Too big.” His lips pulled to the side as he sat down on his desk chair. My eyes slowly traveled over him. The wetness on his body had made his clothes stick to him. He doesn’t look at me. Its as if he's afraid to...
"Owen?" I call his name softly.
"Yeah?" He nodded his head to show he heard me.
"Why aren't you looking at me?" I asked, biting my lip. He looks at me and quickly looks away. “Is there something wrong?”
He shook his head. "Why would there be?"
"Look at me then." He looks at me. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He chuckled and shook his head. "Sit next to me," I said quietly. I sit on his bed and pat the spot next to me.
He wheeled his chair over and smiled. "What's wrong with right in front of you?"
“Nothing.” I smile softly. We both looked at each other in silence. His hand stroked my cheek softly, causing a smile to spread across my face. I looks at him, I want to kiss him but I dont know if that’s okay or not. He moved his head forward slightly, waiting for me to close the gap - which I did, without no hesitations. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him. He gets up off the chair and gently pushes me backwards on the bed, hovering over me and meeting my gaze.
“Hi.” I smile.
He chuckled. "Hey, Lani-bear."
“Having fun up there?”
He nodded. "Just enjoying the view." I pull him down on top of me, but make sure he isn’t on my stomach too much. He balances his arms either side of me and softly kisses me on the lips. I smile against his lips and pull him closer. He kissed down my neck and murmured those three words I knew I couldn't live without. I pull him closer and kiss him passionately.
He chuckled when he pulled away. "Lani-bear, if you pull me any closer, I might hurt your stomach."
“I want you closer though.” I pout.
He met my gaze and raised his eyebrow. "Closer?"
“Yes.”
"How exactly?" He breathed out quietly.
“Anyway.”
"Mm," he kissed down my neck and kept going. I groan and pull his head up to mine, kissing him deeply. He smiled against my lips and tugged at the bottom of my t-shirt. I move and pull my shirt off. His hand runs down the side of my body and gripped my waist, pulling me against him. I smile and tug at his shirt. He pulls it off and I run my hands down his chest. He buries his head in my neck and kisses along.
“Owen....stop teasing.” He chuckled and I could feel it vibrate through his chest. I smile softly. “Please…”
"Please, what?" He raised his eyebrow and the edges of a smirk formed on his lips.
“Don't tease I can't handle it anymore.” He kissed my neck and moved his hands down to my shorts. I smile. He's done teasing me, hopefully. Once my shorts were off, he moved his finger, slowly, in a circle on my stomach and smirked at me while I closed my eyes. Damn I though he was done with the teasing. I grabbed his hand and moved it above our heads before rolling us over so I was on top. I grin and lean down kissing his chest. I pull on his sweat pants. He grins at me and moves his hand to my back, rubbing small circles.
“Owen.…”
"Lani.." He said my name in the same tone of voice.
“I cant take it.” I pull his head close to mine and kiss him with everything that I have. He kissed me back and moved his hands up my sides to my bra strap. Not a minute later he unclasps my bra and throws it to the side.
"It was getting in the way," he murmured when I raised my eyebrow at him throwing it across the room. I giggle. He grinned and kissed down my neck, my chest to my stomach.
“Oh God…” He reached my panties and looked up at me. I nod, telling him he can take them off. He pulled them down and kissed me on the lips. I play with the elastic on his boxers. His hand gripped mine and pulled his boxers down. I put my hand on the back of his neck and pull him to me kissing him forcefully. As we stared up at the ceiling, smiling like idiots, Owen intertwined our fingers. I keep my head on his bare chest and smile up at him. He kisses my forehead and smiles.
He pulls my arms around him and kisses me. "I love you, Lani-bear," he murmured.
“I love you too Owen.”
"You honestly mean it?" He asked quietly, a worried expression in his eyes.
“Yes, I do.” I admit. “Very much.”
He sighed and pulled me in for another kiss. "Great," he murmured against my lips. I smiled and kissed his chest. I cuddle up to him as much as I can so that I dont get cold.
He tugged the blanket further around us and squeezed my hips. "Goodnight, Lani-bear."
“Night Owen.” I smile and close my eyes.