(You guys are all so amazing! Thank you all for the views, votes, and comments! I felt so overjoyed today with all the notifications I received! -Leina ♥)
Nina POV
I realized what I was saying but I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. A part of me was screaming to shut up and take the pain, but a bigger part of myself was telling me to let Jaxon take the pain away. All I knew was the fire inside me was going to burn me up if I allowed it to continue. I was out of options: ignoring it wasn't working, the freezing bath was useless, that left only one thing to do; let Jaxon put out the fire.
The look in his eyes told me he wasn't expecting those words. I could see the desire he held behind the shock. Silently I pleaded with him to stop the burning sensation, I knew he could feel it too through the bond. It wasn't as powerful as what I felt, but to a degree he could feel how much pain I was in. As another wave of heat consumed my body I let out a helpless groan. Before the wave ended I was scooped up into big arms and carried to a bed, his bed. I knew from the familiarity of the softness, also from the way Jaxon's scent surrounded me.
He laid me on my back and before I could move an inch Jaxon was hovered over me. I released my hold on the towel that covered my body, one side stayed tucked over the other so it didn't fall open. Gently I moved my hands up to Jaxon's thick brown hair and worked my fingers through it. At the contact Jaxon closed his eyes and made a small strangled noise that sounded like he was trying to control himself.
All I desperately wanted him to do was lose control. I wanted him to stop thinking about the situation and just put the damn fire out that was coursing through every vein in my body. I wanted his hands all over me as if they'd pat the fire out themselves.
I moved my hands from his hair down to his face. Tracing every feature lightly with a single finger. When my finger touched his lips, Jaxon's eyes opened and the desire that filled them earlier burned much brighter. Without thinking for another second, he leaned down and kissed me roughly. I returned his kiss and as my lips feverishly moved with his he let out a hungry growl that I swiftly ate up. Our tongues met and tangled together, fighting furiously for dominance. There was no way I'd let him win without a fight, but in the end I surrendered and let him control the way our mouths moved against one another.
When he kissed me alarms started going off in my head, and a part of me awoke. That part screamed at me to stop kissing Jaxon. It reminded me of everything we stood for, everything we promised to never do; and this was something I desperately tried to avoid for so long.
We continued to kiss, and I moved my hands from around him to the bottom of his shirt. I wanted his shirt off, I wanted to feel his skin and run my hands down his muscular chest and along his abs. I needed to feel him, his skin against my skin. Thoughts of him bombarded my mind and I couldn't push them away, the part that scared me more was I didn't want them to stop.
Fight this! You don't actually have feelings for this man! Stop kissing him, stop touching him. You don't need him! A part of my mind screamed at me. But I ignored it, simply pushed that part of me aside and continued on as if it wasn't there.
Not only was the heat taking over my body, but it was also taking over my mind. There was no other explanation for why thoughts of Jaxon and I being together plagued my every thought. It had to be the heat, it as another trick to make sure the mating process would be complete. That had to be it. And dammit, it was working.
I took off Jaxon's shirt in one swift move, he didn't object. Once his shirt was off I took a few moments to admire his body. He was fit, there was no doubt about that, but he wasn't huge. I've seen male werewolves who were definitely bigger, but Jaxon's muscles suited his body perfectly. His muscles were well toned which gave them the appearance of being bigger than they were, and his muscles were a really nice size anyways. My hands moved by themselves as they traced over Jaxon's now exposed chest. As they moved from his chest to his abs, Jaxon groaned and pushed my shoulders back so I was once again laying down.
His hungry eyes roamed over my face and made their way down to my chest. When he noticed the towel was covering what he so desperately wanted to see, he ripped it open without even asking for permission. The soft gasp that left my lips came out automatically, his dominance was such a turn on.
Jaxon let out a growl at the sight of my exposed body. Slowly he bent down and trailed a kiss from my jaw, down my neck, and between my boobs. Involuntarily I closed my eyes and soaked up the sweet feeling of Jaxon praising me.
"You're so perfect." He whispered against my skin. "So absolutely fucking perfect." He murmured as his lips brushed up against my stomach.
The want I felt for this man was indescribable, and the way my body reacted to him and his words turned that want into a need.
I grabbed Jaxon's head and moved him closer to my face. I stared deep into his stormy eyes hoping he could see just how much I needed him. "Jaxon," I moaned softly and moved my hips up to meet his showing him what I needed.
His deep green eyes clouded over with lust and love, then suddenly they widened in realization. Within seconds Jaxon jumped away from me and was over in the corner of his room, as far away from me as possible.
I sat up, utterly confused by what just happened. I moved my body so I was facing him. Even from the farthest side of the room I could hear his heart pounding in his chest and his irregular breathing. He was looking at everything except me. I stepped off the bed and made my way towards him, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Nina, stop." His voice was commanding, but I was a girl with needs and goddammit I needed those needs met.
Without hesitation I continued to walk towards him. In many ways I felt like a predator caging in her prey. "Dammit, Nina. I said stop!" He yelled, the look on his face stopped me immediately. He looked like he was being tortured, his fists were balled up, his jaw was also clenched down.
"Why did you move away from me?" Don't question him, be thankful. You were about to do something you'd regret! That was when I realized that part of me was right, I didn't actually want this. What was I thinking?
He let out a huff of air before he answered me. "Because you don't actually want this."
My eyes narrowed in on him, and I took a step closer. "You're right, I don't want this." I paused and moved a little closer to him. That's right, be honest with him. You don't want this, you never did, I thought. I opened my mouth again and said words I didn't even realize I was feeling. "I need this. I need you." Where the fuck did that come from? Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I screamed at myself, stop talking before he gets the wrong idea!
Or the right idea, Lyra thought smugly.
Jaxon looked hypnotized by my eyes. He stared at me, his eyes glossed over. When he saw me move closer he broke our staring match. "Jesus Nina, no you don't." He began pacing back and forth. I planted my feet in front of him and watched him. He was mumbling something under his breath that was spoken so quietly I didn't catch it. "You don't really want this." Jaxon assured me when he finally stopped pacing. He moved closer to me this time.
"How can you be so sure of that?" What the hell am I saying? Of course you don't want this! These words that kept coming out my mouth wouldn't stop. As much as I screamed and begged myself to stop talking there was no use. Nothing I said could be taken back, the words couldn't be unsaid.
He reached his hand up and gently touched my cheek. "Because you're in heat, sweetheart. It's not you that wants me, you only want me to stop the pain." He moved his other hand up and cupped both sides of my face. "I'm not going to finish this mating process until you want me and feel what I feel for you when your hormones aren't being affected by this goddamn heat."
You're going to be waiting for a very long time then, I wanted to tell him.
Then as if triggered by his words, the fire that was temporarily put out by our intense make-out session minutes ago, started to burn again. I hissed at the pain, then looked at Jaxon. "Please?" I said softly, again I was turned back into the pathetic version I was of myself from earlier in the night. He shook his head at me and I whimpered, knowing there was no way I could tempt him into giving in.
As I was about to crumple up on the floor, Jaxon's strong arms wrapped around my naked frame and carried me once more to his bed. Once I was laying down he turned around and walked into his closet, he emerged moments later with one of his shirts.
"Put this on." He said when he handed it to me.
At first, I just stared at the shirt. I was literally sweating like a beast right now and he wants me to put on a fucking shirt?
"No," I gritted out and threw the shirt at him.
"Nina, I'm not joking around. Put on the damn shirt." Jaxon bent down, picked up the shirt then walked over to the bed and handed it to me again. I didn't take it from him.
I looked at the shirt in his hand, then up at his face. "I'm not putting on your shirt. I'm comfortable like this." I crossed my arms over my exposed chest which only emphasized how big they were. He cursed under his breath, dropped the shirt on my lap then moved over to the door.
"Fine, I'll be in my office if you need me." Jaxon went to reach for the doorknob and I started to panic. He couldn't leave. I needed him to stay with him and tame the fire.
"No!" I shouted and darted off the bed before he could even turn the doorknob. "Stay with me." I begged him. There was no way I could deal with the heat without him. I needed Jaxon next to me. Inside I was cursing myself, this is what I was trying to avoid all along. This need to have him near, this dependency was something that I never wanted. I was completely and utterly independent before this man showed up in my life and now, now I couldn't even bear the thought of him leaving the room. I was playing right into the heats hand and allowing it to affect me in a way I never wanted to be affected.
It's just because of the heat, once it passes I won't need him as much. I thought to myself. As much, those two words rang throughout my mind. Did I really just say that? Did I really just admit to myself that I needed him?
Oh yes you did, Lyra answered back. You've finally come to terms with your feelings.
I scoffed at her, but even as I did that I realized that I was lying to myself. No, no you're not. This is entirely because of the heat, you have no feelings for him. I thought strongly
This was getting insane. I was utterly confused by what I was actually feeling, what my wolf was feeling, and what this damn heat was doing to my emotions. I couldn't decipher what was real and was not. Suddenly, I was feeling overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was sleep until everything was back to normal; whatever normal was anymore.
He sighed, completely unaware of the internal battle I have been facing. He turned around to face me, I could see he had his own struggle that was eating away at him as well. His eyes remained on the floor for a few seconds, then slowly they made their way up from my toes to my face. I saw the way his eyes darkened slightly before he blinked turning them back to their normal shade of green. "I'll stay with you," he paused clearing his throat. "If you put on some clothes-"
"Done. I'll put on the damn shirt." I turned around immediately and walked over to where the shirt laid on the ground. I bent down and picked it up.
Jaxon sucked in a lungful of air and swore. "Nina." He said in a strangled breath. "You're going to be the death of me, woman."
I smirked to myself as I threw the shirt on. When I was fully covered I turned around to find Jaxon facing the door, apparently he didn't appreciate the view of my ass I gave him. My little bit of fun was done, and I couldn't wait to get into the bed and sleep off this heat.
He waited until I was on the bed before he came and laid down next to me. I wasn't sure what to do from here. Lyra was begging me to move closer to Jaxon and wrap my arms around him. She assured me it would help with the pain from the heat. In a way I knew that was true, but I also knew the more physical contact I had with him would make it that much more impossible to fight off the feelings that were creeping to the surface.
There was no denying that Jaxon was a good-looking guy, I mean truth be told I know it's cliche but he is down right, without a doubt the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on. But I'm going to blame that on the fact that for majority of my life I grew up around women.
Everything about him screamed confidence, dominance, power; yet he wasn't cocky about it. He didn't have a smug air around him that other Alphas do. He did not hold his title over people. Jaxon was genuinely a nice, considerate guy; that was why an immense amount people liked and respected him.
The more time I spend around him, the harder it was to fight the inevitable. I'm trying so fucking hard to resist the pull towards him. There wasn't one quality I could pick out from him and just hate because literally everything about him was fucking perfect. And I hated that; I hated that he couldn't have some obnoxious quality that I could hold against him.
Maybe he snores, I thought. I'm a light sleeper and if he snores that's it, it's over, never going to work, see you later.
"Do you snore?" I blurted out, voicing my thought.
He looked confused, which I didn't blame him for. That question literally came out of nowhere. Jaxon eyed me suspiciously. "I've never been told I snore before, so I'm going to say no."
Dammit, I thought. Of course Mr. Perfect doesn't snore. Maybe he drools instead...
Instead of replying, I stayed silent. I couldn't believe I've come to the point of having to pick out something to hate about him so I wouldn't give into these feelings. This was beyond pathetic, I'm pathetic.
The fire inside my body was still burning at an alarming rate, instinctively I moved closer to Jaxon. Instead of questioning me he too moved closer and hesitated slightly before he put his arms around my waist. I should've moved his arms away from me, but the moment they touched my skin the fire burned a little less. I soaked up the feeling and moved even closer to him until my head was tucked nicely under his chin.
I listened intently to the beat of Jaxon's heart, before I knew it my own was syncing up to his.
Lubb dubb, lubb dubb, lubb dubb
Listening to his heart gave me a distraction from the heat, and it ended up soothing me enough to cause me to become drowsy. It wasn't long after that, that I ended up falling asleep.
_____________________________________
I'm not sure how long I slept, but when I woke up there was no burning sensation eating away at me. I looked around and noticed that Jaxon was not with me. For some reason that fact bothered me, although I tried to ignore the feeling it brought me. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got up. After I finished using the bathroom, I walked back into his room determined to find my clothes.
"Well it's good to see you're finally up." A deep voice welcomed me when I stepped out of the bathroom.
I jumped slightly before I turned around to find the source of the voice. "Why the hell would you do that to me? You fucking scared me." I reprimanded him.
Jaxon shook his head at me. "Wasn't aware I had to announce my arrival in my own room. But noted, next time I will broadcast that I entered my room." He walked towards me with my bag full of clothes in his hand. I thanked him after he handed it to me and walked back into the bathroom to change. I heard him mutter something about having seen it before and how I didn't have to leave the room to change, but I ignored him comment.
When I walked back into his room fully changed I noticed the serious expression on his face. Was he that serious before I changed?
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
"We have a problem." He told me being very vague.
I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Do I really need to ask what kind of problem it was? "Well?" I urged him.
"One of the groups hasn't been reporting in." Jaxon replied. "After going over the map of which group took what location, Jason and I realized this group took the territory that was in the same direction as the scent lead you picked up on our trip here."
Slowly what he was trying to point out started coming together in my head. "They took the upper NorthWest region?" I thought back to the maps. "Those areas only ever had small traces of Declan and the others."
"Which would give them the perfect cover. That area was never really top priority for you to search, because you never had much of a hit there." He pointed out.
I nodded my head, slowly thinking everything over. "Do you think they were ambushed by Declan?"
This time Jaxon seemed more tense. He pushed himself off his spot on the wall and walked closer to me. "You know how we've been going through some of our suspicions on one of your pack members being apart of this whole thing?" His words hurt me slightly, as much as I've been trying to get over that fact, every time it was brought up or thought a small part of me felt pain. The pain of betrayal, easily one of the worst pains to every be felt.
"Yes." I said weakly trying to cover up the hurt in my voice.
"Jason and I have been going through some of the details and we think it's someone in the group that went to that region." Jaxon said cautiously.
I moved a little closer to him. "You've been discussing this without me?" My fists clenched together, my eyes narrowed in on him.
"Yes, but it was only twice." He rushed out quickly trying to calm my temper. "We found somethings Nina, somethings that I can't believed we missed earlier."
"What did you find?" The betrayal was still fresh to me, but I couldn't help but feel antsy to see who could've possible felt the need to kill Elise. I was anxious to see what one of my girls turned their backs on us and give them the punishment they deserved; death.
Both of us took a seat on the bed. Although a little part of me was pissed Jaxon and Jason went behind my back and discussed matters of my pack without me, I couldn't help but also feel slightly relieved. I'm too close to my girls, which only clouded my judgment of them.
Before he started explaining what Jason and him found, Jaxon studied my mood then he laid it on me as gently as he could. "The night of the attack, the breech in the territory came from what border line?"
"The North." I recalled immediately.
He nodded his head knowing that I was correct. "Yes, and who was working that border that night?"
I had to think for a moment, this was during the time I was taking a break and letting Lyra be in control. Who was working that side of the border that night...I kept thinking before I remembered. "Haven and Laura."
"Yes. So Jason and I started doing a little digging into both of their backgrounds. It turns out one of them was born with Alpha blood, more importantly, she's the only one in her family to be in your pack."
My mind started spinning. "Which one?"
"Laura." He said simply. Right after he said her name I knew in my gut he was right. Fucking Laura. "Her parents are the Alpha and Luna of the Riverfront Pack, which was your father's closest ally. The Riverfront Pack has always been power hungry and they don't like things that are unknown." Jaxon began to explain.
My mind began to piece everything together. It wasn't hard for me to see where it was going. "So Laura faked her way into my pack to gain knowledge of us and how we stayed hidden. Hoping that she'd be able to one day overthrow me and take over the pack and unite it with her father's pack and in the process gain revenge for him." I muddled over the facts that were so clearly in front of me. "Son of a fucking bitch." I whispered and rose from the bed. I started pacing in front of Jaxon. "How did I not see this? How the fuck did this get past me? How could I have allowed for this to happen?" The more questions I said out loud the more questions started popping up in my mind. How could I have been so blind?
I could hear Jaxon calling my name but I couldn't stop myself from pacing. It all made perfect sense now, everything has been so clearly in front of me. Laura never had that troubled look in her eyes that everyone else did. She never shied away from Jaxon when he first came around, in fact she even had the guts to flirt with him. Not once did she display any of the actions of someone who was mistreated, and I looked passed all those signs. Those signs that were so obviously screaming at me now.
My breath grew rapidly more irregular until finally Jaxon was able to break through to me. "NINA!" He shouted as he grabbed hold of my shoulders and snapped me out of my trance. "You need to remain calm. We have the advantage here, she has no idea that we know it's her. We need to be smart and act as if nothing is going on. Got it?"
Instead of responding with a simple nod of the head, or a small yes. I answered with the only sentence that came to mind. A sentence which was more of a promise than anything else. I looked deep into Jaxon's eyes making him aware that I was fully serious with what I was saying. "I'm going to fucking kill that bitch."