There I lay, spooning with my puddin'. Why couldn't I sleep though? Oh, maybe its because of the Playroom staring straight in my face. I haven't slept in almost 3 days, yet the curiosty thats clouding my mind doesn't seem to be the least bit tired.
Fuck it, I survived this long, why not push my luck?
Sliding out of J's grip around my stomache, he stirs ever so slightly. The bed is so softer and plush it barely shifts at the absence of my weight. Standing up, I smooth out my over sized tee-shirt; Mr.J lent it to me because he thought my suit would be to uncomfortable to sleep in. Making sure he wasn't awake, not because I was about to sneak into the playroom, but because I needed to pick my wedgy.
The babies eyes follow me as I tip toe to the door. Turning the knob, it doesn't budge; locked. How extreme does his "toys," have to be to need a lock? My head goes in a million directions as my imagination congures up scary senarios.
If I were sane, I probably would have crawled back in bed, wait till morning then asked J about it. Unfortunety, I'm bat shit crazy.
I tip toe to the key drawer, silently I pull it open. He has enough keys to own an apartment complex, how the hell am I gonna find the right one? Like an insane person, I didn't give up and crawl back in bed; I took a handful of keys and started trying them.
The clock ticks, showing that its 5 Am and I still haven't gotten to the right key. Irritation takes over me completely, as I give up and put all the keys back. Gripping the drawer from the bottom to push it back in, I feel a cold sensation on the tips of my fingers. Pulling the tape off, I descover a silver key.
He hid the key, what does that mean? That there is something worth hiding?
Skipping to the door, I'm half excited half terrified. The key slips into the lock with ease. He did hide it, but from who? I take deep breath as I turn the knob and crack the door open.
Slipping into the room, I close the door sliently behind me. I walk along the wall, searchig for a light switch. Flipping it up, the light flickers on, revealing something worse than I imagined.
To my right, was a wall of whips, paddles, spikes, gags, sex toys, collars, leashes, costume ears, tails, masks, and different torture devices; maybe a 100 items. In the middle, bondage, ropes, straddlers, a spinning wheel, suspention devices, and other types of sex contraptions. To my left, oh lord to my left, an adult cage sat with a pet bed and food bowls; but not for bud and lou.
I gasped, shock took over my body as the voices ran wild with questions. Was he expecting to use these on me? Did he want to hurt me this bad? Is he planning on making me go in that cage? Why does this please him? What happened, horrific enough to make him get pleasure out of this? Would he ever take it to far, and seriously hurt me; even kill me?
At that last thought I snapped out of my trance, turning on my heels. I mob out of the room, switching off the light on my way to the exit. Not letting my eyes adjust to the dark before opening the door, I slam into a strong object.
Hitting the floor, the wood of the door's bottom corner cracks as I flew into it. Before I had time to realize what had happened, a hand was in my hair. Getting gragged across the floor, I claw at the hand and kick my legs in protest. The hand pulls me up, then slams me onto the bed. I start to sit up, but he pushes my shoulders back on the bed. He puts a leg on each of my sides, sitting on my stomach. Attempting to push him off, he grabs my wrists and holds them above my head.
An inch away from my face, The Joker says "I see you went on our exploration alone."
"Get off me, ya physcotic freak," I demand, struggling under his grip. I know I'm no match for him, but I can't just give up.
He laughs uncontrolably, almost falling over, but still keeping a strong grip on my wrists. Suddenly he gets extremely serious, getting close enough to where his nose is touching my cheek. "Watch it kid. That big talk of yours is gonna get you hurt," he says licking the side of my face.
Cringing away from his tongue, he slaps me across the face full force. "I have been awake the whole time bitch. Who the fuck gave you permission to go into the playroom," he yells as tears roll down my face. "Oh don't fucking cry, you did this to yourself," he yells getting off of me.
Sitting there everything hits me in that moment: he's abusive, he's a criminal, he's fucking nuts, he only wants me for sex, he's a physcopathic sadist with no respect for women, and he doesn't love me.
Lip quivering, I wipe away my tears and sit up to watch him pace the length of the bed. "I saw everything in there puddin'. Ya don't actually wanna hurt me right Mistah.J," I ask wiping away tears trying not to cry.
He pauses and just looks at me with eyes that have flattened from fury to guilty. He may have been silent but his eyes weren't. 'Yes,' they read loud and clear.
"I can't do this, I dont wanna do this Mistah J," I squeak through streaming tears. The blow of the situation hits me in the chest, like a bullet.
He jumps back on the bed, grabbing me by the neck. His hand doesn't squeeze, or choke, he just holds me. Whispering in my ear "you have already submitted to me my sweets." He rubs his cheek against mine, purring slightly in my ear.
"I resign my submission," I choke out mid-sob, voice cracking.
He pulls away slowly at the realization of my words. Taking his hand from my my neck, he sits at the edge of the bed. "Get out," he says, fixing the rings on his fingers.
No, he did not just say that. He didn't ust tell me to leave. How could he? "B-but puddin'-," I try getting cut off.
"GET OUT," he demands with a voice loud enough to make my sob break through my throat.
"O-okay Mistah J, i-if thats whatcha want-t," I say sniffling and trippig over my words.
His words like knives cutting through me, as easy as butter. The bullet hole in my chest, expands into the size of a bowling ball. I feel like screaming, crying in pain, as the hole flairs and tears more at the ends.
Shakely and empty, I get up, rushing to the bathroom. Throwing his shirt into the corner, I pull on my costume. Slipping into my heels, I have to bite my tongue so I don't scream from the pain. I dont bother with my hair, not even putting my head piece on.
Gripping onto the counter I bend down using it to support my weight, I feel so empty yet pain of loosing him is crushingly heavy. I look up into the mirror, my nose is running, my eyes are bloodshot and my cheek is a fading red. Thats what motivated me to start towards the exit of the bathroom. As I grab the knob I see his tee-shirt.
'Don't do it Harley, you don't need anything from him,' Harleen's voice whispers in my head.
'Doesn't mean I dont want it' I shoot back.
I grab it off the floor, folding it small, then stuffing it inbetween my boobs. Looking around the bathroom one last time, I sigh trying to control my tears, and open the door. Stopping to stand in front of the joker, I hang my head low. I don't know why I'm standing here.
He pulls a gun from his hip and points it straight at my forehead. And honeslty I wouldn't mind if he were to pull the trigger. "Why are you still here," he breathes deeply more than asks.
New tears stream down my cheeks as I say these four words for the last time. "I luv ya, puddin'."
He turns his hand to the right, twisting the gun with it. He breathes deeply and says quitely, deeper than usual, "I love harley and you aren't her."
I turn on my heels, patting my leg for my babies to follow, and head over to the stairs. His laugh fills the air as I climb the steps wishing he would have fired the gun.
I have lost everything I have ever worked for: my job, my friends, my clean record, my apartment, my car, and ,now the most important, puddin'.
His laugh contagious enough to make me laugh once I exit the building to the abandoned highway. Yes, I laugh; laugh at how pathetic I was to think a criminal that whacked out could love me to.
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Important message!!!
For all of my BDSM communists, I am apart of your community, so of course I know bdsm isn't anything dangerous, bad, or gross. Im just trying to portrey it in the mind of a non expirenced niave sub. Sorry if I offended you guys in anyway, but remember I am apart of the community. Ad for you readers who don't know much about bdsm, message me for answers.
And *dun dun duuuunn* cliff hanger, sorry guys, you will just have to wait and see what happens.