Leaving Beau again was hard, each time I was starting to miss him more. The trip had only ended up having a small amount of work involved and while getting me to LA had been Beau's idea, De Lucca wanted John to take a break too. He didn't miss much and that was why he was so successful and admired within the industry.
We ended up getting home Friday night and I already knew Jess was going to be out thanks to the message I blasted her with yesterday. It wasn't only about packing all the lingerie I thought I had left behind. That wouldn't have been so bad, but there was also the box of condoms too.
I was surprised by how she had made an effort to clean the house and also that all the dead roses had been picked out of the bouquets so they were still looking fresh.
It was nice being back in my own bed, although it was lonely without Beau. With no Jess home, it wasn't just my bed that felt empty. The whole house did and I missed him even more.
How did he become such a big part of my life?
I was reminded again of Amelia and Brock. She always said Brock consumed her, comparing him to a drug was a good analogy and I was starting to find myself feeling the same way for Beau. I never understood how you could be hungry for a kiss or crave a touch and even thinking about it now had an ache forming in the pit of my stomach. Better yet, thinking about our showers together had my cheeks flushing and my heart racing.
How did I go this long without dating, without experiencing any of that?
"Hey Angel, is everything ok?"
"It's late, I'm sorry. I'll let you go to bed."
I rested the phone in the curve of my neck, happy just to hear his voice.
"I'm not in bed; we're just working on some new stuff in Seth's studio. Shouldn't you be asleep?"
"Yes"
I should have be asleep; instead I was getting myself excited just thinking about him, which was not helped by how sexy he sounded on the phone.
"But, you're not?"
"No."
"Are you sure you're ok? You sound a little off."
I wasn't ok and taking a deep breath, I made a quick prayer to those sex gods Jess is always rambling about and answered him.
"I'm wearing that black lingerie" I wanted to sound sexy, but I think it came out desperate and I cringed at the silence, slapping my hand over my eyes I should just hang up.
"Oh really, with that matching little thong? Wish I could see it."
"If only you were here right now."
"Why what would you do?"
I froze.
What would I do? He was going with this, easier than I thought he would. Was actually going to do it?
"Um, are you like with the guys?" The fact he said he was with them at Seth's floated up the surface of my hazy brain. If they heard a second of that, I'd die.
"No Angel, Noah is out getting pizza and the other two are taking a break and going for a swim. They won't hear you, promise."
I sighed; thankful I still had an inch of dignity left.
"So what would you be doing if I was there?"
I don't know how he did it, lowering his voice so it was like we were already in bed. Certain my words would be safe, my desire flared back up.
"I'd be kissing you."
"Where?"
"Your neck, while I run my hands up and down your chest, digging my nails in before I start to move lower."
"A little rough, I like it!" I could hear the teasing in his voice and never feeling more self-conscious in all my life, I stopped.
"Quit it, you're distracting me!"
"How am I distracting you? You called me! I was just sitting around innocently by my notebook, working on the bridge"
"A bridge?"
"Never mind Angel"
He chuckled to himself, clearly amused and I wanted to disappear, rewind the last few minutes and move on.
"Sorry, where were we?"
"Nowhere, it's stupid." I gave up, wishing I had listened to Jess when she talked about buying toys of the vibrating kind. It would have fixed everything much quicker and I never would have had to have this call. I could have put on his last album and listened to him that way.
"It's not. Sorry. How about you touch yourself for me?"
"What?"
Was he serious?
"Do it, I'll know when you do because I know how you sound Angel."
Silence.
I couldn't do it, at least not with him on the phone to hear.
"I'm already hard thinking about you, tell me how you feel. Come on Angel, touch yourself for me."
That did it, the way he used my pet name had me aching for his touch, but since he wasn't here I had no choice. Unable to stop it, I moaned as my hand slip under my pants.
"Good girl, I bet you're wet, ready for me?"
"I am, god Beau I'm so ready"
Now it had started, I wasn't going to stop. His voice on the other end was all I needed to keep going, as the ache only seemed to grow rather than weaken.
"I love it when you say my name like that," What sounded like a door closing came from the background distracting me for a moment and I had to swallow hard to try and get over my nerves. Before long I was practically panting with the need to release the tension building between my thighs.
We kept going, my confidence growing the more turned on I became, to the point where I was telling him things I had never even done and with each gasp I released, he met it with one of his own.
By the time I was done, so was he and I was sprawled on my bed finally ready to sleep.
"What bought that on?" He asked, his own breathing uneven, but not like mine, which was out of control.
"I missed you." I admitted shyly.
"Clearly! Did you, ah actually just come for me then?"
He asked in awe and then I realized he didn't.
It was all fake.
"Next time, I'm not going to be hiding out the front of Seth's house in my car and you can return the favor!"
"It was nice knowing you Beau, I'm officially about to die from embarrassment and if I survive, I can never look at you again!"
"Don't be like that, I really am hard though. On second thought, I got some tissues here. Let's go again. I love hearing you scream my name."
"Goodnight Beau!"
"Really? You're going to leave me out here about to bust out of my pants?"
"You had your chance."
"Not cool Angel, not cool!"
Still laughing I hung up yet he and his hard on in the car haunted my dreams.
-
Nana's bookshop had quite the turn out and while we planned for about thirty, it was closer to fifty. Every inch of space was taken and Jess was stuck with me behind the counter as a few people rushed to buy the newest edition of the series before it started.
I refused to talk to either of them all morning, but now the author was nearly here my sulking was over. All around us the crowd was focused on Brock and Amelia, breaking up even more as they discussed whether they were Team Brock or Team Harry. Others were just arguing over the ending. It was interesting to listen to with each person taking something different from the story and offering another point of view on it all. This last week I'd be re-reading them all, trying to find my love for it all again, but it just wasn't there now.
"Come on, so he found some rubbers in your suitcase. At least they weren't used and he wanted to see that naughty little number on you!" Jess tried to win me over and I wanted her to carry on a little bit longer to avoid any other topics coming up. Topics like last nights phone call which would give her a weapon against me of nuclear proportions.
"You have a handsome fella who wants you Bec, some women would kill for that. In fact I think half of the ladies in here would!" Nana was on Jess's side and I'm pretty sure she is the only Grandmother in the world encouraging her only granddaughter to get laid.
"You two are not normal!" I threw my hands up dramatically and as Beaus face lit up my phone screen, I turned redder than a tomato. Only problem was I was on the wrong side of the counter and Jess pounced on it before I could move.
"Hey you!" She winked and I prayed he would tell the difference, even if we did kind of sound the same.
"I'm great, how are you? Last night? Refresh my memory..."
I was literally climbing over the counter, unable to get back in thanks to the people packing up the space and Jess gasped causing me to nearly pass out as she stayed out reach.
"No!" She whined, her eyes lighting up mischievously, "Ha ha ok Beau, here she is"
She went to hand the phone over, but paused. "What happened last night Bec?"
"Nothing!"
"You're looking a little flushed there. Sure it was nothing?"
"Yes! Jess, hand it over!"
With a smirk she obliged and the moment I had wanted to avoid was going to be waiting for me when I got off the phone.
"Please tell me you didn't say anything to her!"
"Not a word, how are you this morning Angel? Sleep well?"
"I did, thank you." The heat off my cheeks was like a furnace.
"Good, I did too and I tell you what, I had the most intense dreams about you after that!"
"I'm sorry, but I can never see you again."
He only laughed, "Don't be embarrassed. That was hot and if you want to use me for my ridiculously awesome voice, go for it. What are you doing now?"
"Not that. I'm at Nanas bookstore, she has a signing going on today and it's packed!"
"Oh yeah? Anyone interesting?"
"The author to the Lyrics to my Heart series, have you heard of it?"
Silence.
"Beau?"
"Yeah. Have you ah, read it?"
Something about the way he said it told me yes would be the wrong answer.
"I have, but I don't understand the hype around it." Lie. Up until a couple of weeks ago, it had dominated my existence.
"Huh." He muttered, "I'm um, I'm going now. I'll leave you to it, you must be busy."
"I'll call you later ok?"
"Ok."
He hung up and I stood there for a second wondering what just happened. Maybe rock stars didn't like it because it was some kind of insult to their lives or something? I would say inadequately described, but I'd seen too much to know that wasn't it.
Maybe she told too much?
"So, last night?" Jess wiggled her eyebrows as Nana looked at her watch frowning and as if on the cue the backdoor delivery bell sounded in her office and she disappeared to let Josephine in.
"Stop that wiggling missy!"
"Make me!"
"Jess, we're at work. Come on!"
"You're at work, I'm just here for the free coffee and chance to get an autograph!" She stuck her tongue out as Nana reappeared in her office with the author at her side. The pair talked for a few moments and then Nana gave me thumbs up so I cleared a path through the crowd and went over to the podium we had set up.
"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, if there is any?" I asked dumbly, glancing around at the female orientated crowd. A few people laughed and nodding my palms started to get sweaty from being the center of attention. "So without further delay, we all know her as the genius behind Lyrics to my Heart, which after five parts is sadly at an end. Please give her a warm welcome - Miss J M Trips!"
Everyone clapped and I stood waiting for her to come up. Like a rock star she strutted to the front of the room, coming to stand beside me and shaking her hand, it was the musical themed charm bracelet on her wrist that had my attention. Amelia had one like that, Brock gave it to her when he left to go on his first tour. Ignoring my staring she stepped up to the microphone and the scream through the speaker below us snapped me out of my trance and I disappeared back to the counter to stand with Jess and Nana.
"Thank you for that introduction Miss Adams and thank you all for coming today. I am so humbled that what started out as a simple little novel turned into five books with so many followers! I love you all; you made my dream come true by letting Amelia, Brock and even Harry into your lives and hearts." Everyone clapped as she paused; straightening her notes and a few boo's sounded at the mention of Harry. He didn't deserve a mention, he was barely in the book and most of it was just in dialogue between Amelia and Brock.
"My name is Josephine May Trips and I'm going to start today with an excerpt from one of the hardest parts to write in Brock and Amelia's story. It is in Part five, which you may notice, Carmel has so beautifully set up in her window and I will signing copies at the end of this session."
Everyone clapped again and it was Nana who made me smile.
"Don't even like the stupid woman's book" Nana whispered to us, and we both giggled. She hated being called Carmel; it was always Mrs. Adams or Nana.
I don't know why, it was just another one of her quirks.
Josephine started to read, and I knew the part she was going to do instantly. It was the reunion with Brock after what we all thought would be their final break up at the end of part four. It had been a beautiful moment, running through the crowd at the airport once they touched down. The months he had been away tour had nearly killed her, even though she had the guy she had cheated on Brock with back at home. We then learn he had moved in with her while Brock was away, but only once they'd been to Brock's hotel room for a 'makeup' session.
It was all a part of the main plot. Th will they or won't they stay together question is asked for the last time. The one thing that annoyed me is she had done some of the books in third person and others just in Amelia's point of view. We never got a clear shot into Brocks mind. I wanted to know what he was doing while it was focused on her, what he thought as she revealed her lies.
Maybe that's what I would ask her during question time?
-
Still laying in the afterglow of the most intense session of love-making they'd ever put themselves through, Amelia wondered if it was because Brock knew their time was limited.
"What's wrong baby?" He asked, coming back from the bathroom she welcomed him back to bed, holding onto him for as long as she could.
"I need to tell you something."
"You can tell me anything, come on - it's me!" He smiled even though she looked like she was about to break down any second. Many things had happened after they'd had sex before, but never tears.
"I know and that's why it's so hard!" The first round of tears started and instantly he had pulled her back into his arms, trying to comfort her over something he had no idea about.
"I - I I've been seeing Harry while you've been gone." Amelia finally sobbed.
"Seeing?"
"He's moved in. You were gone four months and I thought we were over until you asked me to come pick you up today!"
Brock didn't answer, moving away from her like she was a stranger.....
-
No longer listening to her talk, there was something familiar about Josephine and the way she seemed to let her long dark hair fall over her face. She was younger than I expected, despite being obsessed with the series, the author in front of me was a mystery.
I never even questioned her name until a couple of weeks ago, always just knowing her from what was printed on the cover; J.M.Trips.
The emotion in her voice as she read was real; the characters a part of her like they were all of the people here today. She had created their story, made us love them and hate them. She gave us an imaginary world within the real one; even when I was in LA I could imagine Brock and Amelia shopping.
We even passed the Tiffany's and Co store she mentioned back in Part Two and I could see Brock in there asking her which ring she'd want one day. It was why we all flocked to buy her books, reading them again and again.
Lost in a fantasy that could be real.
I suddenly felt sick; sitting back on the chair Nana noticed my face pale while Jess mimed the words to the chapter because like me, she had read it that many times.
"How could I have missed it?" I mumbled, feeling the cold smooth hand of Nana on my forehead.
"Are you ok love?"
Jess turned to look at me, frowning as I closed my eyes. The world was trembling as if there was an earthquake and I just nodded.
"Bec?"
Without thinking I got up, shoving past the people down the sides of the shelving and moving to the front row, Josephine hesitated, but kept reading as I stared up at her and I saw what I was looking for, the large freckle I had seen somewhere else peaking out from behind her shirts collar from where it sat almost proudly on her collarbone. Jess grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the side, mumbling apologies, as I started to understand.
"What was that?" Jess demanded. Nana handed me some water and I shook my head, trying to dismess them.
"Just wanted to see her."
The pair exchanged a look, not sure what was going on and after a few minutes I was able to convince them I was fine.
-
By the end, tears were running down Josephine's cheeks and a few people in the audience were sobbing too. The chapter had been one of the most brutal as the two characters put it all on the line and Brock gave her the ultimatum.
Stay with him and leave Harry or say goodbye to him forever.
"How do you choose between two people you love? Brock was my world like I was his, but I needed the normality being with Harry provided. Brock was familiar, safe - did I want that? If I did, why did I go with Harry? Was it time to let him go?" Josephine took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, "Thank you!"
Everyone was clapping once more yet it all seemed surreal.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Nana asked again, "Want to pop outside for a second, get some fresh air?"
"No, I'll be fine."
"Well, does anyone have any questions?" Josephine asked, and a bunch of hands popped up. "Yes, you in the blue"
"Is there a Brock in your life?"
Standard questions, just like Jess and I had guessed.
"There are a few Brocks, and I took what I needed from each of them to create him. Lady with the headband?"
"What inspired you to create Brock and Amelia's world?"
"I came from LA before moving to New York to live with my fiancé. It's definitely a city full on inspiration and people that make for an interesting story!" She pointed to another lady in the front row.
"First of all, loved the series. Will there be anymore?"
"No. Amelia chose and, well she still hopes one day Brock may forgive her enough to be friends again, but that story wont be told."
The questions kept coming, stupid things that had no real substance until someone started the discussion on why Amelia should have gone with Brock, not Harry. The discussion seemed to make her uncomfortable as she was left defending Amelia's choice of harry. Before I knew it, I had stood up and waved to get her attention.
"Personally I am glad Brock and Amelia broke up." A group in the back cheered and Amelia looked slightly shocked.
"Why Miss Adams? Please share."
"Brock didn't deserve to someone like Amelia. He as flawed, broken and demanding" What surprised me was that she smirked. "He deserves someone better than her, because as damaged as he was, Amelia was just as selfish. He loved and trusted her, but she goes and fucks the next man to give her attention. Harry knows what happened, I wonder if he will ever trust Amelia to be left alone? Would you consider doing a book on them?"
Her smirk was gone and her face had set to stone. All around people argued about what I just said and Josephine never got a real chance to answer as whole new round of questions were thrown at her, but the look she gave me stayed.
I didn't need an answer; I was already working it out on my own. Criticizing Amelia was hard for her to handle as so much of the character had come from herself.
"Bec, what was that? I get it, you like the series, but that was some serious fan girl stuff arguing over characters!"
Jess stood in front of me as I zoned out of the bookshop and Nana put a cup of water in my hand. There was one final thing I needed to do before I could be sure.
"I just realized something, it's fine Jess. I'll tell you after the book signing."
I served customers while Jess made sure Josephine got a coffee before having to sit and sign everyones books. The line was dwindling down to the last few and walking past the shelf, I randomly grabbed one of the series and joined the line. Jess was at my side with her actual copy of the book and I let her go first.
Just like all the others the pair had a quick conversation, the front page was signed and with a fake smile the book was passed back and the people moved on.
"Ah Miss Adams. You certainly sound like a passionate Brock fan!" Her tone was flat despite trying to make light of the situation. No one really picked on Amelia so it was easy to see why she got defensive. Somehow she got out of it all dent free.
I tried to smile as Jess stayed at the table, frowning at me as she was still trying to work out what was wrong.
"I have my moments" I glanced at her autograph, she didn't write her name instead only doing a scribble of her initials; J M T.
She smiled uncomfortably and passed me my book back. I hesitated before taking it, not wanting anything she signed yet opening it back up to look at it, it was all I needed.
"Thanks Julia."
"You're welco..." She didn't finish, freezing with her hand still hanging in the air and Jess put it all together in that breath.
"Like I said, I'm glad he broke up with you because he really does deserve better."
I went to go back to the counter, dropping the book in the bin as I passed it. I had seen her signature in the photo album at Beaus Mums house. All the kids had signed the blackboard, while standing around grinning proudly and her signature hadn't changed at all. Everything made sense now and I thought back to the awkward moment at dinner.
"So you wouldn't go into writing?" It was a weird thing for Leah to ask and her change of mood was so easy to understand, it really was. In other words she had wondered if I would end up writing a successful work of 'fiction' about her son. Beau trusted me and she refused to hand hers over so easily. "That's what I thought about Julia too!"
How did it take me so long to put the pieces together?
Brock McDougal and Beau Morgan both equal BM.
The uncle turned manager had De Lucca all over it.
Harry was even a security guard in the book and of course, Amelia aka Julia. The childhood friend turned girlfriend, who ruined everything - even Beau.
Jess's spell really did work, better than we could have ever imagined. I got the book boyfriend I had always dreamed of and unlike Julia, I loved Beau; a real true kind of love that he had always wanted and needed. A love he deserved and that even with all their years together, she had never been able to give him because she didn't understand and most likely never would.
----
Ok so there is the big twist!! What did you think? Did you see it coming?
And just what does all this mean for Beau and Bec now?