Another weeks passed by quickly and I was back in the building, surprisingly, my co-workers has given me a welcome back party and Zach was the one who thought of it. Clark knew about it but he was good at hiding the event.
Clark's break up with Lois was also weeks ago, however, he was still glancing at her from afar. Sometimes talking to her or Lois would leave a cup of coffee on his desk with a note. I knew because I was giving Clark some furtive glances and ended up seeing the interaction.
I was standing next to Zach's desk, examining five new projects on my hands, "I did something stupid, Zach." I confessed.
He stopped what he was doing and turned to me, "What did you do now?"
I looked at him then around us to see if Clark was near, I didn't see him anywhere, probably talking to Lois again. I didn't get it though, he broke up with her, yet he was giving this impression like he shouldn't have done that.
Seeing that he was nowhere in sight, I turned back to him, "I almost kissed him."
"What?" He exclaimed, "So does he know? The, you know... what you're feeling. Of course, he knows, you almost kissed him."
"Zach! He didn't act weird or something, so I'm good."
"What if he did and you didn't see it?"
"He's not, we even had a good conversation after it happened, we laughed and watched movies. Did anything as if it never happened."
"You're fucked up if he did."
"Ruined friendship, I know that."
"Control your feelings, Jade."
"I know! Don't make me feel bad already, and stupid. I wasn't thinking what I was doing."
I saw Clark walking towards us with a carton of three cups. I whispered to Zach furtively as if I was talking about the project, "He's coming over here."
"Act normal." He returned to his monitor.
I scoffed at him facetiously.
Clark stopped beside us, "Hi, guys. I bought some drinks." He placed it on Zach's table. We said our thanks and Zach stood up to stretched.
"Christmas is near, do you guys bought already some gifts?" Zach asked, getting a random cup from the carton.
I answered first, "I already got mine." It was already done, Clark's and Superman's. I didn't have to make one for Zach as I gave him one years ago and would just give him a simple gift that he would like.
"I also have mine already," said Clark.
Zach nodded, then Clark added, "Did I miss something while I was gone?"
"No, not really," I said, looking down on my design.
"We were just talking about a character from Game of Thrones, Hodor." Zach quickly lied.
Clark narrowed his eyes, "Don't you watch that? Because I know Jade doesn't watch it."
I pursed my lips at Zach's attempt of lie.
"I was telling her what happened in GoT." He took a sip.
Clark nodded then we all went into a long conversation. It has been eight months since I've met Clark, and my feelings for him was getting stronger. Up until now it seems like it was not enough. Like it wanted more of him. Perhaps I was not satisfied that he's still not mine.
There were times that I just want to let go. Just find someone else and accept the fact that he would never see me as more than a friend. But it wouldn't hurt to hold on a little bit longer, isn't it?
Actually it does, I was hurting every time he talks to Lois. I was hurting every time we talk to one another then he would glance at her. What does he see in her? Beauty?
"Jade, do you still remember Ethan Stewart?" Zach asked.
"Yeah, of course, I remember him. What about him?" He was long gone, not dead, but he left two years ago from the Daily Planet.
"Who's he?" Asked Clark.
"Just someone who worked here years ago," I answered.
"Weren't you head over heels for him?" Zach stated.
I looked up to him who was staring at me intently, "That was two years ago, Zach." I looked back down again on the papers.
Clark reminded, "I thought you said that the person you like is the person who you love so much in your whole life."
I looked up to him, "He is. I got this strong feeling that I can't explain. I don't know. It's not the same with Ethan." I glanced to Zach who gaped.
He mouthed, "You told him?"
I quickly shook my head.
"What?" Clark said as he looked at me in confusion.
I glanced at the cup on the desk, "It's just Zach, he was about to take a sip on my drink," I lied, looking down on the output once again.
Zach said, "Jade."
"Hmm?"
"What if I told you he's back here in Daily Planet?"
I chuckled, "What are you talking about? He's in California, why would he be here?"
"I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"
I looked up once more and found Zach who was staring behind me. My eyes widened, "You're joking, right?"
He pointed, still staring, "Look behind you."
My pulse quickened, before Clark came, Ethan was the person who I liked the most but not the way I love Clark now. However, it seems like it wasn't totally gone, there was a hint of feeling there.
I turned around slowly, and I saw him there, talking to Perry. His eyes connected with mine then he waved at me. I turned back around quickly, eyes shifting to Clark who has a solemn look then to Zach who grinned, "Would you look at that. He waved at you."
I forced myself not to blush, "He's waving at someone else."
"He's not, why don't you talk to him?"
"No!"
"Let me guess you still have a teensy-weensy feelings for him."
I glanced down on the paper on my hands, "No, I don't. That was two years ago."
"I bet you twenty dollars, Jade, that you won't talk to him."
I pursed my lips and glanced at Clark who was watching me and became silent. "Fine."
"What are you waiting for?"
"I'm busy," I said, waving the papers.
He took it, "Now you don't." He turned me around to face where Ethan was, "Come on, Jade. You can't wait forever to the person you love. Besides, I heard he's single and looking for someone to be with."
"But—"
He pushed me, "Twenty dollars," he reminded. Then I heard the chair scraped on the floor, "Come back to me and tell me your conversation after you talk to him. I'll finish this report."
Clark was also single, he knew that. At the same time he was right, I can't wait forever. I stumbled a bit as I moved forward, letting out a breath out of my mouth and clenched my hands, my heart was pounding furiously against my chest. I love Clark, it's just a talk. Just talk to Ethan and everything will be fine. I quickly shook my hands from anxiety.
It felt like losing your favorite toy and became happy when you have found it again.
I walked towards him as Perry left, then he saw me as I got closer, "Hi... Ethan."
He smiled brightly, "Hi, Lauren! It's so good to see you." He was still attractive with his green eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, you too. How was California?"
"It's amazing, the places there is just wow. But you know, it's time to work again, I'm surprised Perry accepted me."
"Well, you are good in what you do. It's Perry, he always hires the best."
He laughed, "How are you? It's been two years."
"I—I'm good. Don't have anything much to say, my life's..." brighten up because of Clark, "still dull."
Ethan smirked, "It can't be that bad."
I laughed awkwardly, "I guess so."
He pursed his lips, squinting his eyes as he asked, "Hey, do you want to have some... drink some time? Perhaps... watch some movie?"
I gaped for a moment and blushed, should I take the chance? "I... actually... I think—"
"Hi, I'm so sorry to interrupt but I need Jade right now, it's really important." Clark has cut in, then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from Ethan, leaving me wide-eyed.
"Fuck!" I whispered loudly, then I glanced at him who has a solemn look, I continued, "Oh my God, he was asking me out. Holy shit." I glanced behind me and saw Ethan pursed his lips once again and turned around.
I shook my free arm off from the nervousness, "Shit."
Clark stated, "I don't think going out with him is a good idea."
He dragged me to his workplace and turned to me, "Why not?" I asked, eyebrows furrowed together.
"What about the person you love?"
"It's not like he's going to notice me, Clark."
"Maybe he does, you don't know that."
"He likes another person! It's not like I have a chance."
He was silent for a second, I continued, "And you lied to Ethan saying that you need me for something when all I get is 'don't go out with him' when I was about to answer him."
"Actually, I do need you because I need a simple illustration of Superman for my article that Perry needs in two hours, and besides, for all you know you could have a chance."
"Two hours? You could have asked me later. And you don't know that if I have I chance."
"Jade..."
"What now?" I was getting mad, it was also hurting me that all I do was wait and wait for so long, I slumped on his chair and covered my face. "Ethan was asking me out." I mumbled. I can't stand it. How come he can date Lois and I can't even go out with Ethan?
There was a long pause and I just sat there on his chair as I covered my face on my hands, there were tears that wanted to form. For a second there I thought I just heard him mumble an 'I'm sorry'. Now I was hearing things from him for yearning to have him.
I rubbed my face and removed my hands, then I noticed a cup of coffee with a sticky note on it. I took it and examined the note.
—Lois :)
I let out a dry laugh, "I thought you broke up with her."
He took it from my hands and threw it in his trash bin, I raised a brow, "Why did you throw it? That's a waste of caffeine." Even if I hated coffee, that was still a waste. I would have given it to Zach.
"I did break up with her, and I didn't like the taste she bought."
He was lying, he was drinking the cup every time Lois puts it on his table, "Didn't like it, no wonder you keep drinking it." I whispered quietly to myself.
I stood up and looked at him, Clark has this look as if he was sad or regretful, or perhaps that was just a mishap as I wanted him to feel sorry for me for what he was doing to me for the past months. I didn't like the way he makes my day so bright and at the same time so dull by just talking to the famous reporter, "Anyway, I'll do the illustration, any specific how?"
He glanced down, "Just a very simple design of Superman. That's it." He said quietly.
I nodded, "Will you be needing it as soon as possible?
"As long as you're satisfied with what you've done. I'm good with that."
"Alright." I left and walked to Zach's workplace, telling him that I talked to Ethan and picked up the cup that Clark has brought. I was not fine, then again I always acted as if I was. Should I tell him already?
I walked to my office and started doing what Clark has requested, it didn't even take two hours, and I was pissed that I got a chance with someone else and he has stopped it.
Besides, I think Clark's right. I love him, if I did go out with Ethan, it won't even work out in the end.
Perry came in my office and told me to start doing the decorations for the Christmas, I agreed and said that I'll do it after I've done all the projects that was put to me.
Some people volunteered to help me, Even Zach, Ethan and Clark, surprisingly, even Lois wanted to help, perhaps because Clark was in it.
We've spend a few weeks in cleaning thewhole floor and almost everyone has already taken their leave to spend sometime with their family and loved ones. I was still hoping for Clark. I don'tknow why but I did.