Having those normal conversations killed me. Every lightly spoken word was a lightsaber to my gut, a knife to my heart.
I knew that Kylo Ren was facing serious internal emotional pain, and for him to act like everything was simply grand tore me apart.
_____
We made our way to the Dining Hall, and the entire way I couldn't help myself from giving him wary glances. I was expecting some sort of emotional outburst.
No matter how evil and corrupt he may be, Kylo Ren is still a human. Humans have emotional ties and overwhelming feelings that simply cannot be neglected.
I knew that Kylo Ren would need closure with General Organa. I figured he would pretend that our small confessional interaction never occurred. Kylo Ren would most likely continue on with his life and pretend that I didn't know about his internal struggle. He would shove the feelings back, focus on his work, and pretend he couldn't care less about what his mother's thoughts on him were.
I knew that I, as his partner, had to help him through this. I had an idea of how to help but it was risky -- very risky. I was extremely worried about what the outcome of this idea would be. I was too scared to even think about it at that moment. I put it in the back of my mind, but I did not forget it.
We entered the Dining Hall, got our food, and made our way up to the Supreme Dining table. General Hux was, for the first time, absent from lunch.
But not for long.
Minutes after Kylo Ren and I arrived he walked around the edge of the table, delicately placed his tray down, and sat. Hux gave us both a quick disgusted glance before he began consuming his meal.
"Kylo Ren -- " Hux began after a few short moments of peace, but Kylo Ren was quick to cut him off.
"I am not in the mood for your antics, Hux. Keep your eyes down and mouth closed." Kylo Ren spoke through his mask. His deep, mechanical voice resounded above all of the chatter in the massive hall.
Hux raised an eyebrow as if to challenge Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren maintained a glare with Hux for several moments, as if they were establishing dominance.
"Look . . . Away." Kylo Ren said lowly and threateningly. He then raised a gloved hand above the table, pointed his fingers at Hux, and clearly manipulated the Force to make Hux's head rotate and face his lap.
Kylo Ren released the First Order general. Hux continued to silently eat his discs, but there was no sense of an intimidated aura around him. Hux was obviously bitter and angry.
Hux looked up only moments after Kylo Ren had released him with a fresh anger in his eyes.
"How dare you communicate with the Resistance, you lying, manipulative, back-stabbing traitor!" The red-head seethed in a furious whisper.
Kylo Ren abruptly stood up, and I watched as Hux flinched away before taking a moment to regain his angry posture and countenance.
"The only way I would ever betray the First Order is by killing a general or two." Kylo Ren quickly stated. He then made his way off of the extravagant table and out of the Dining Hall. I glanced at Hux, and then at Kylo Ren. I stood up and followed Kylo Ren out of the hall.
_____
Kylo Ren's point of view
Hours had passed since the run-in with Hux at lunch. I hadn't had to worry about how I will vote for the treaty because I've had the decision ready for quite a while. The conference was only in a few short minutes.
I wanted to test out the treaty merely so the Resistance would stop interfering with all of our actions. They would no longer have the authority to take Nira from us unless we launched an attack on another civilization.
If there were any loopholes in the treaty's laws, I would find a way to use them to my advantage. If the treaty stated that we were not allowed to attack other planets, then I would capture select officials from those planets, take them to the base, and torture them until I achieved what I wanted.
If the Resistance continued to intervene then I would have a full-scale attack launched on them. The universe needs to know that no one can get away with tricking, manipulating, or lying to the First Order. Obviously our organization could easily overpower the Resistance. I am not afraid of them or any of their forces, but I am afraid of them taking Nira away. They are also a pure nuisance.
I walked into the conference, prepared to vote. President Edroth sat at the high seat and senators, generals, myself, and other officials quickly streamed into the room and took seats.
President Edroth commenced the conference as soon as everyone was present.
"We have gathered today to vote on whether we will agree to sign the treaty the Resistance has presented to us. As we all know, the treaty states that the Resistance will remain absent from our affairs unless they deem our affairs as unnecessarily violent and cruel. There are several benefits and downfalls to this treaty, and whether or not it passes depends on which of the two you all believe outweighs the other -- benefits or downfalls." The President began.
"The outcome of this vote will obviously be of the majority. If you search underneath the table in front of your seats you will all find a small button. One half of the button is green, and the other is red. When I give the command, press the green button if you wish to pass the treaty or press the red button if you wish to destroy it." President Edroth gazed at all of us.
I searched the officials' minds to see which way the votes were swaying. From the few minds I checked, I could conclude that the votes seemed pretty evenly split. I was worried that the treaty would end up not passing; again, not for my organization's sake, but for Nira's. The Resistance somehow could always find a way to tangle her in our organizations' affairs.
Everyone began to grope the underneath of the table in front of them. Several began to pull out buttons, and I myself did, too.
"Voting begins now and will last for the next two minutes." Edroth announced. I nodded and immediately pressed the green half of my button.
I watched as Edroth voted, stowed away her button, and pull out a small, cubic device in which she stared at. I could see that she was counting the votes on the small device.
I glanced around the room at the varying officials. Some were staring around the room, bored, and I could tell that they had already voted. A few were visibly choosing which decision to make by staring at their buttons with an anxious look on their faces, biting their lower lips or gnawing on their fingernails. Other officials were glancing to different places and officials around the room, obviously confused and having not even considered their decisions yet.
I stowed away my button and patiently waited for the results to come in.
Eventually Edroth announced, "Voting has concluded. The votes are in, tallied, and double-checked."
Some officials leaned forward in their seats eagerly, some looking quite nervous. I remained reclined in my seat with straight posture for intimidation purposes.
I glimpsed towards Hux to see that he looked just as calm as I did. I deduced how he voted from our quick conversation at lunch; he had obviously voted against passing the treaty because he believed to cooperate with the Resistance would be to betray our organization's moral values.
But that is not correct, I thought, because sometimes seeming traitorous is beneficial if you use it in an advantageous style.
Seconds after I thought that, I came to a realization that caused my eyes to widen in surprise behind my mask.
That's what Nira was thinking, I thought in complete awe.
I am in a relationship with possibly the most intelligent being I have ever met . . . Besides myself, and Darth Vader.
"According to this government's general opinion, we will indeed be signing on to the treaty with the Resistance. Effective immediately, all violent actions against other organizations will be ceased, although there were none currently in effect, anyways." President Edroth announced.
Relief washed over me and I gently exhaled.
An official stood up angrily and stormed out of the room, but right as he crossed over the threshold he turned back and yelled, "This is outrageous! You've all lost your common sense! Working with the Resistance? What organization am I working for?!"
Everyone stared after him, amazed that someone would have the courage to stand up to the entire government as that senator just had.
General Hux followed in the senator's suit. He stood up, but more calmly. Before he even began heading to the door, Hux claimed, "The Senator is right. I am astounded that you all could agree to work with our sworn enemies who have done so much destruction to us in the past. You all hold the positions of power you do because you aren't weaklings. Don't start acting like cowards and imbeciles now."
Hux left the room. I felt my blood begin to rise in temperature because of the irritation I felt for him and the other senator, but I didn't let their ignorance bother me. The treaty had passed and there was nothing either of their dull minds could do about it.
Slowly, all of the officials began to file out of the room. A dull chatter had risen. Obviously all of the beings in the room were conversing about the potential effects this new treaty would have over our organization. I solemnly stalked out of the room, down the hall, and to my cell. I was sure that Nira would be waiting for me and I was excited to tell her the news of the treaty. Her hard work had lead her and the organization to prosperity.
On my walk, something struck me.
I would be the one elected to communicate again with the Resistance's officials, which meant that I would have to again speak with General Organa.
A cold sensation settled over my limbs, chest, and gut. I didn't want to face her. I couldn't look her in the eyes.
I had had a dream recently that had severely affected my view on the General. That's why I was so afraid to speak with her. As I walked back to the cell, flashbacks of the dream appeared in my mind.
*****
I watched as General Organa walked slowly up to Nira. Nira stared the General in the eyes with hope and gratefulness.
"So you'll help me?" Nira asked for confirmation. An optimistic longing was clear in her tones. The woman I love then added, "You've helped me with so much so far. The deal, the plan, my family . . . I owe everything to you. I couldn't be more thankful. Thank you, so much."
Leia smiled generously and cocked her head to the side. She lay a frail aged hand on Nira's shoulder. "I would do anything for you, Nira. Anything."
I felt a content, excited, bubbling feeling in my gut. Seeing the two of them genuinely get along made me ecstatic. The fact that the two people I love most, my mother and my love interest, could cooperate after all I've put them both through amazed me.
I had done a thorough job convincing Nira to despise Leia. I had achieved the feat of making Leia hate myself, and Leia most likely hated Nira as well. After all of the battling, violence, and fiery hatred, Leia and Nira were still able to talk civilly -- no, not civilly, comfortably and adoringly. Leia used an understanding, motherly tone with Nira and Nira used a loving tone with Leia.
The fact that my mistakes hadn't ruined all that is good in my life made me feel joyous, and I, Kylo Ren, rarely experience joy.
The corner of my lips turned upwards as I watched them interact further. "Nira, I need you to help me with something. Can you? Please?" Leia asked seriously and desperately, looking up into Nira's worried eyes.
"Yes, a-anything! I'll do it!" Nira assured the general. She looked prepared to assist Leia in any way possible.
I watched Leia's lips press together and her grip on Nira's shoulder tighten. All essence of a smile began to slowly drip off of my face.
Leia moved as quick as lightning. In a flash, she had yanked a jagged blade out of her pocket and pierced Nira through the stomach with it.
My mouth fell open and I was disbelieving.
Leia ripped the knife out of Nira and stabbed it in a separate location, this time through her chest. Nira's eyes were wide and blank with pain, her mouth open with surprise.
A small squeak fell from my lips. Leia viciously pushed the knife through Nira's skin further, and again, and again.
My vocal chords had lost all strength because inside I was weak. I watched, unable to move because I was in a dream, as Leia continuously ripped the blade through Nira.
Leia then let Nira's body fall to the ground. She walked away with the most simple facial expression as if she didn't care at all.
I turned my attention away from my now evil mother and to Nira.
The woman I love was laying on the ground in a heap, face looking upwards, legs crumpled beneath her, arms extended at her sides. I could see the blood pouring out of her clothing, creating a pool around her.
I stared at the pool of blood. It was Nira's blood. Nira's. I couldn't comprehend that it was Nira's blood spilling onto the ground.
I looked up at her face. Her eyes were wide, her mouth still open. The handle of the knife was sticking at an awkward angle out of her forehead, for the last place that Leia had wounded her was through the head.
My chest felt like a gaping hole, and I struggled to find the scream of pain and fury and sadness that was buried deep within me but I didn't have the power to release it.
Nira had trusted Leia . . . I saw that from the minute or two they interacted. Nira trusted her like Leia was her mother. Nira's personal bond with Leia was so strong . . . But it was only one sided. Leia had betrayed her so easily, so thoughtlessly, so willingly! Leia had looked Nira in the eyes, known that Nira loved her, and was still able to viciously take her life.
The thought of Nira bestowing all of her trust in Leia and Leia taking advantage and murdering Nira gave me more than enough strength to scream. The wail of pain that erupted from me was horrified, somber, and continuous. My cries for Nira didn't stop until my vocal chords could no longer endure the tearing volumes. I couldn't take my eyes off of Nira, yet I couldn't go to her.
I was unable to move towards her, so I merely just looked at her and realized that she had perished.
No more emotional talks, not only between the two of us, but for me, ever -- she was the only one I trusted enough to confide in. No more of her strong opinions that she so strongly stood up and fought for. No more of her tender, caring, lush kisses that she gifted only to me in the deep of the night. No more of her soft hands on me under the blankets in the dark as we fall asleep to the sound of each other breathing. No more of her ever-so-comforting words that could keep me from my greatest of rages. No more glimpses into her beautifully vivid and lively eyes that displayed all of her emotions and looked at me so adoringly -- she was the one of the only people who ever looked at me like they truly cared for me. No more admiring her wondrous curves that never failed to excite me and make me want her.
No more of her sweet, limitless, powerful love that made me feel like I was on top of a mountain but she was still so much higher than I.
No more Nira.
All I could do was look into her dead eyes and know she was gone.
*****
_____
Author's Note
CROSS COUNTRY STARTED TODAY
I'M HAVING BACK PAINS
THAT'S ALL SEE YA :)