I guess I had no one to blame but myself. I had pined after Bella for so long that I had taken Annie for granted.
"Why me?" She had to be joking. Anyone who had her in their life was blessed beyond all belief. I stood there, trying to convince her that she was wrong but unable to say a word. I loved Bella, not Annie. Right? And then she asked the one question that I thought I knew the answer to, until tonight.
"Jake, do you love Bella?"
My head screamed yes, but every breath I took only wanted me closer to Ryanne.
"I thought so," I murmured. "But I-I'm not sure anymore, Annie." I tried to take a step closer, but she stopped me. I just wanted to explain. I thought I loved Bella but the imprint was never wrong. Maybe I had been wrong in assuming that we could just stay friends. And in my musings, I had been ignoring her.
"I know that I have to agree to this."
Oh, God; she didn't want the imprint. She didn't want me, but she knew what would happen if she said no. I was forcing her into something she wanted no part of. I felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest, used as a chew toy, and stomped on. I felt like nothing would ever be okay in my life again. And as she walked away from me, promising that we would still be best friends, it hit me.
I had been fighting this for so long, I almost couldn't believe it. Somewhere in the midst of wolves and vampires and imprints and stuff that shouldn't exist, I had fallen in love with my best friend.
Here's the problem with falling in love with the one person who knows you the best: you can't lie to them. So while my head was wrapped up with thoughts of Annie and how to make her understand that I had been a blind, selfish asshole, I had to keep from telling her that I actually loved her.
We were hunting that annoying little vampire, but getting virtually no where with her. She's over the border, Sam called us off. I'll stay on patrol a little longer. Everyone head home.
Thank God; I have to go check on Kim, Jared thought.
Yeah, not so funny when you're the one who's imprinted, is it? At least you finally understand how I feel, I replied.
You guys are just wimps, Embry said.
One day it'll happen to you and I just hope I'm there to see it, Jared retorted.
You'll have to thank Ryanne one day. She went through a lot of effort to get you two together. Jared just nodded, phasing out as he neared Kim's house. I phased out as well, pulling on my shorts and grateful to be alone in my own head. I had been trying so hard not to think about Annie and how much I loved her. How had I not realized that I loved her? Why did it take me so long?
I ran to the beach, following her scent but she wasn't there. She must've gone to Emily's. I was happy that she was getting along so well with Emily. She had even gotten to the point of allowing Emily to call her Annie. It really was a heartwarming sight to come home and see them laughing in the kitchen together.
"Hey Em, is Annie here?" I asked. Emily was focused on what she was doing, but she still managed to shake her head.
Bella grinned at me, but for the first time in months it held no appeal.
"Ryanne said something about going home," she said. She started towards me, probably to give me a hug. I had told Annie to stay on the Rez and she promised she would. Why would she go all the way back to Forks? And if she did have to go home, why didn't she take one of the guys with her? I stripped, tying my shorts to my ankle and phased, feeling the elastic cord stretch to the max. I ran with lightening speed, thinking about how close that leech had been to the La Push line.
Where's the fire? Sam asked.
I can't find Ryanne, I said, leaping over some fallen tree.
I thought you said she was staying on the Rez.
I thought she was; I asked her to stay. It's not like her to just ignore me and go.
As I said the words, my fear just increased. She said that she understood how dangerous it was out there. What was she doing driving to Fork by herself? She would be covered in Bella's scent or at the very least, mine. That parasite might mistake her for one of us or-
Calm down, Jacob. She's fine. Hundreds of people walk around Fork without us, Sam said, but I could feel his worry.
I smelled her house, but the scent that lingered there was old; at least a day. Where the hell was she? I had checked the beach, Emily and Sam's, her place-
Your house? Dude, it's dinner time; she's probably trying to feed your dad, Sam said with a laugh. God you are beyond anything I ever was. Must be the alpha gene.
I growled at him and darted through the forest, amazed that I could avoid trees at the speed I was going. Once my house was in sight, I phased and pulled on my shorts, barely managing to get them up before I bolted in the door. Praise God, there she was, wearing shorts and a thin tank top, her hair pulled back by one of my bandanas. I pulled her straight to my chest, my wolf purring.
I sniffed her as quietly as I could, checking for any sign of leech. All I could smell was her, my Annie. I was still shaking, my fear not yet driven away. I should've known better than to assume she would leave the Rez. She had promised she would stay.
"What's wrong?" she whispered into my chest.
It amazed me that she could be so calm. I came home, heart going a mile a minute, blood surging, and grabbed her, but she didn't ever say anything about my insanity. She just asked me what was wrong and calmed me down.
"That leech was so close to La Push and I couldn't find you," I growled into her hair. Goosebumps; good, she should be afraid. "I went to the beach and the Sam's, but you weren't there. Bella said she thought you'd gone home, but you weren't there, either."
"I'm sorry that I scared you," she whispered. Naturally she would apologize because I had overreacted. What else could I expect?
"I didn't mean to. I just wanted to get dinner ready for when you came home." A guy could get used to that, to coming home to a beauty with dark hair and blue eyes cooking dinner for him and his father. I hugged her tighter. This was all I ever wanted from her, ever. I wanted her to stay here in my arms.
"Why don't you go take a shower; you smell like wet dog," she joked. I'm sure I did; I had been running through the rain like a chicken with its head cut off.
"I'll have dinner ready when you get out." I pressed my lips to her cheek, a little closer to her lips than normal, but not enough to give anything away. She just wanted to be friends.
As I showered, there was a teenage boy side of my brain that wanted her there with me. I knew that I shouldn't be thinking about her like that, but it was so hard not to. She was so beautiful, so kind, so warm. I remembered what she had said about Bella, how her sister was everything she wasn't. I wondered if she saw all that she was. She was brave, fiercely so, and courageous. I knew when she was afraid and I knew that almost every time she faced it head on.
I practically howled when I smelled her in my room. Just knowing that she'd been in there, even if she was just cleaning, made me hum with pleasure. How could it be that she didn't love me?
"Boys, dinner!" she called. In my mind, I could picture her calling that same sentence out for the next seventy years. I sat silently at the table, digging into the grilled steak. God she knew how to cook.
Dad talked about the fishing trip that he and Charlie were going on for the next week and a half. Annie had begged me to find a way to keep her dad safe without getting him involved in all of this. I knew she was happy that he'd be out of harm's way and that made it all the easier to sacrifice my pride and beg Sam for the money for it.
"Hey Jake, did Bella get home okay?" Annie suddenly asked. Maybe it wasn't so sudden; maybe I had been watching her make polite conversation with my father about fish and missed what was actually being said.
I didn't bother to follow Bella home. I almost smiled. I guess that was strange. I had been so concerned about her, about her getting home safely, about making sure that she was still the Bella that I had grown to love. But now that I understood what I actually felt for Annie, it wasn't the same. I mean, I still cared about Bella; I didn't want this bloodsucker to get her or anything. But she was secondary to Annie. And I wouldn't allow Annie to put herself second again. I cleared my throat, a little ashamed that I hadn't even thought about one of my best friends. "Yeah; I'm sure Jared or one of the guys took her home."
That was a lie. Without me there to insist, I doubt any of them actually cared. My dad smiled at me from across the table, but I only rolled my eyes and prayed Annie wouldn't ask what was going on. My dad had been waiting for this since I had imprinted; probably before that if we were being completely honest here. We finished eating; I helped Annie clear the dishes and clean up the volcano that erupted when she'd been cooking. I smiled at the mess; it was so her. She just wanted to get it done.
Too soon for me, it was time for her to head back to her home. I wished that she could just stay here. I mean, our dads were going to be gone and then she would have no one but her and Bella in that house.
"It's spring break, you know," I said as we got to the truck. No school, no reason for her to go home. She could just as easily stay with me. "Maybe you could stay down at the Rez?" I asked, praying that she would say yes. I wasn't sure how much her knowing about the imprint had changed out relationship. "It'd be safe with that leech around." She just nodded. My lips began to twitch with a smile.
"What about Bella?" What about Bella? "Isn't it after her?" I nodded, but I didn't care about Bella as much as I did Ryanne. I needed her to stay down here where I could come home to check on her. "I'll talk to her; see if she wants to hang out around here." I didn't care about what Bella wanted.
"Whatever she says, promise me that you'll still come down here?" I begged desperately. Annie just laughed.
"Jake, she'll say yes; you're little crush is finally being reciprocated."
I laughed in disbelief. I had made a mess of this. I pulled her against my chest, hoping that maybe her skin would absorb my feelings, send them straight to her heart, and I wouldn't have to try so hard to convince her. "I'll talk to her," she whispered and got in the car. I turned to find my dad on the front porch.
"Your mom is jumping for joy, I hope you know that," he said. "I would be too," he added. I smiled at him.
"Yeah, well if I had figured all this out before I told her about the imprint, I would be in better shape," I said, falling back on the porch swing.
"Son, I am telling you that she loves you. You are just too dense to see it," he replied.
"No; she just wants to be friends. Annie is giving, but she's not one to hide how she feels from me," I replied with confidence.
Dad laid a hand on my shoulder. "You should go run; it'll make you feel better."
•••
Annie and Bella showed up with their dad the next day, duffle bags in hand. Bella sat on the front porch, giving some lame excuse about her and sharp objects while Annie and I loaded the truck. How had I not noticed that Bella never helped? As soon as they were gone, I tuned to Bella and Annie.
"Car keys," I demanded. Annie took hers out of her pocket no questions asked. Bella just stared at me. "I'm serious, Bella. I need your keys or I can make sure that your truck will never run again."
"How am I supposed to get to work?" she asked indignantly. Annie sighed.
"You can have them for work, but you just have to let me know. I'm just trying to keep you safe," I replied. Bella grumbled some unintelligible under her breath, but handed over her truck keys. I looked Ryanne dead in the eye so she would no how serious I was. "You don't go anywhere alone," I started. "If you are leaving the Rez, you tell one of us." Annie nodded while Bella looked down at her nails in boredom. How was I ever attracted to that? There had been a time when my gaze would have flown to the exposed skin of her neck. Now, I just wanted to shake her. Did she not understand what we were doing to protect her?
"It's getting late," Annie whispered. "We should head in." The sun was already below the tree line, some light coming between the trees, but not much. I had patrol in the morning, but Embry had agreed to come and sit at the house with the girls.
When I had decided that the girls were going to stay with me, everything had seemed so simple. Annie would share the bed with me like always and Bella would sleep on the hide-a-bed in the sofa. As Annie dropped her things just inside my tiny bedroom, I could see that she'd assumed the same thing. I watched the blue-eyed bombshell grab some pajamas and walk to the bathroom, where most of her stuff already was. She kept so much stuff here, she might as well live here. Not that I didn't want that.
"Is there any central heating, Jake?" Bella asked quietly. No; our house was built decades ago on a Native American reservation. We used a fire place.
"No, but I can start a fire. I'll get up every couple of hours to keep it stocked," I said. "It should keep you plenty warm." Bella frowned at me.
"I get pretty cold at night," she whispered, looking at me with hopeful eyes.
"The bed's pretty close to the fireplace. If you get cold, just come tell me," I said. She smiled.
"Is Ryanne almost finished in there?" She hadn't even been in there that long.
"I'm done; it's all yours," she said as she passed the opening that led to the hallway. Bella grabbed some bag that looked like it was stuffed to the brim. What did girls need that much stuff for?
I heard the springs of my old mattress groan as Annie plopped herself down, brushing her hair with one hand and opening my bedside drawers with another. What in God's green earth was she looking for?
"Can I help you?" I laughed.
"I thought I left some hair ties here," she said, digging through another drawer. I swatted her away, opening the third drawer that held my favorite things and everything that wasn't clothing that she left here. "Thanks," she whispered, expertly wrapping the tie around her curls until they were wrapped in a tight circle at the base of her neck. I pulled off my shorts, wearing only my boxers. "You have to start a fire for Bella," she reminded me. Couldn't I just wrap my imprint in my arms without having to do something else?
I got up, hoping Bella was still in the bathroom. Of course, she was. I could hear my bed squeaking as Annie made herself comfortable, probably pushing her winding her plaid covered legs around the blanket. The fire roared to life after a little poking and prodding. I sat there, ensuring that it was still going before piling it with wood. "Thanks, Jacob," Bella said quietly.
"Yeah, sure thing; I'll be up in a little while to make sure it's still going, but wake me up if you need anything," I replied. Please don't need anything.
Annie was tangled among my blankets, almost asleep when I walked in. "You'll get too warm," I said as I peeled the blankets off of her. She shivered until I laid myself down beside her, for once glad for my too small bed. She curled into me, leg wrapping around one of mine. I chuckled quietly to myself as I shifted her until we could both be comfortable. I stuck my head in one corner of the mattress, my feet in the one opposite and tucked my arm under her head. I tossed my other arm over my head, where it always went when I was asleep.
"Goodnight, Jake," she murmured, snuggling her head into my bare chest.
"Goodnight, Annie," I said as I pulled the sheet over us. Good night indeed.
"Jacob." Why was someone calling my name? "Jacob, I'm cold," Bella called again. Annie groaned in her sleep and tried to bury herself against me. "Jacob, please," Bella said after I'd ignored her for a few moment.
"Just go, Jake," Annie said, turning herself away from me and against the wall, using her arm as a pillow.
I rolled out of bed, pissed that Bella couldn't just leave us alone for one night. I had been sleeping so peacefully, probably the best sleep I'd gotten since Paul and I got in that fight weeks ago. I walked into the living room to find Bella curled in a tight ball on the firm mattress. "Thank you, Jacob," she managed between chattering teeth. I restocked the fire place and disappeared into my dad's room, grabbing seven extra blankets from the top shelf of his closet.
"Here," I said, throwing the blankets on the bottom corner of the bed. "That should keep you warm. Night." Annie was curled against the wall, her breathing even, but her heartbeat quick, giving her away. "I know you're not sleeping."
"I thought Bella was cold," she said. How had I managed to let it get this far? Even before the imprint, before the wolves, before the vampires, back when Annie was my best friend, I would have done anything for her.
"I got her some extra blankets," I replied. Annie snorted as I crawled back into bed. "What?"
"You're so dense. She didn't want blankets, Jake. She wanted you to keep her warm," she said. "I heard her earlier. Now, get your ass out there."
I flipped her over and nestled her against my side, breathing in her salty fruit scent. "I think I'll stay right here," I said simply. I could see her eyebrows furrow as her mind tried to make sense of what I was saying. "Go to sleep, Annie. I have patrol at four," I said, pressing her close. "We can talk later."
•••
If I had known that we weren't going to have a chance to talk beyond greetings, I probably would've tried to talk to her a little more right then. But I was running triple patrols, begging one of the guys to run around my house every time I smelled leech too close to the Rez. Sam didn't dispute me, too worried about Emily to say anything. Jared had no problem running a few circle around our houses before he went to check on Kim. It was nice to have another wolf who understood why were so crazy about the imprints. It had been days since I'd actually had a conversation with her.
I stumbled towards the house early one afternoon, fulling intending to get some sleep before I had to get back to patrol. Sam said that the leech's trail was old, at least twelve hours. Jared and Embry were going to run while the rest of us caught some much needed sleep.
"Hey Annie, I'm home," I called. I got no response. I listened carefully. She wasn't in the shower, she wasn't in the kitchen. I heard a whimper, somewhere nearby and sprinted to the backyard.
"Annie, what are you doing?" I screamed.
She was crouched over her sister, pounding into her chest and face with reckless abandon. She wasn't trying to hurt her. If Annie wanted to, she could do some damage, but Bella looked fine and I couldn't smell her blood. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her away while she fought me. Embry came running from the forest, probably having heard the commotion. He pulled Bella into his arms and began walking towards Sam's. For the first time since I'd first phased, the sight of Bella in another man's arms didn't do anything to my heart or gut. I turned my attention to the spitfire in my arms.
"What were you thinking?" I asked as I released her. And then she did the last thing that I expected. She wheeled around and began beating me, her hits accurate and sharp. If I was human, it would hurt a lot. But I didn't really feel it. Actually, I was afraid I might be hurting her. Her throws became more erratic, as she hit me until she fell forward, her forehead hitting my chest, still swinging. I wrapped my arms around her, listening to her sob. What brought this about? She stopped fighting and the hands that had been pummeling me ruthlessly were trying to dig themselves into my skin. I heard her hiccup.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm worried," she admitted. "I'm worry I'm going to lose you to this vampire," she said, her breath shivering. "And it's going to be my sister's fault." Well, she wasn't wrong about the last part. But the first part? She wasn't going to lose me; not before I had a chance to tell her the truth.
"Listen to me, Ryanne. I am not going anywhere, I promise," I said, forcing her to look at me by stooping to her eyesight. "Whether this was Bella's fight or not, we would still be tracking her. Knowing that she's here for your sister, knowing that you live right there just makes me want to get her even more." It was the truth; whether the redhead was after Bella or not, I would hunt down this leech. Hell, we had been before we'd known. She was too frequent. She was trying to get something and the last we wanted was for her to get one of our people instead. "But we will get her. You have nothing to worry about."
"You told me I should always worry," she replied. I laughed. My silly girl; I would never let anything hurt her again.
"That was about losing control; this is different. This is vampires, Annie. I'm built for this stuff." I had already explained that the alpha gene made me better at it than the others. And the fact that I had an imprint made me hungrier than them to. She shivered against me, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Hey, now; no more of that," I whispered, wiping away the tracks of tears that had been there. "We're going to be fine," I promised. "But you need to apologize to your sister."
"Why? She doesn't care about me." I had begun wondering about that, but I couldn't understand how Bella could not care about Annie. Annie gave up everything that she could to make things work. Surely Bella cared enough to give that back. That was the very least that she could do.
"Yes, she does, Ryanne. She just shows it a little differently," I said, although I wasn't sure how true that was.
"You mean by not showing it? She actually tried to say that her being here hadn't effected me," Annie said quietly. How could it not have effected her? There were days where I could blame everything that happened on Bella. And then I reminded myself that she didn't know she was doing them.
"Down, Annie. You're getting yourself all worked up. Come on," I said, sparks shooting through me when she slipped her hand into my offered one. I couldn't resist; I pulled her into my side and kissed her head.
God I had it bad.